Hello to all. Hope everyone is having a blessed new year thus far. It's been a second since I hit y’all with a journal and I do apologize. I've been extremely busy making preparations to move out West permanently (sob sob). My friends are acting like they're gonna miss me so much when none of their stinkin' asses visit me in the {oconos...lol..,They all say it's too cold up here so I gotta come to da hood. Come to think of it, isn't Newark always the hottest fucking city on the weather channel? They might have a point.
It saddens me to say that this will be my last journal entry for awhile. I've written to you guys time and time again about how much I'm really focused on the acting when all I get in return is how much the world just wants to hear another album. It's not fair to y’all so I'm falling back for a sec with these.
You are gonna get another album, I promise, it just may not be what you're expecting. I've changed, my music's changed and my whole outlook on life has changed. I cannot pretend I'm running around the hood thuggin’ it in my rhymes anymore so don't look for me on any mixtapes. My buzz will resurface from a movie soundtrack or some shit like that and then spiral to an album. An album that will not suffer the generic protocol of albums nowadays with the bullshit of setup and pushbacks and not enough buzz and first week sales mania blah blah, but a real conscious outlook from someone whose lived both sides of the tracks and is just puttin’ it out for your listening pleasure. Every now and then I'll toss out a thug record just to remind niggaz I'll still put one in ya, but for the most part, I'm too grown for all that other kid shit. I'm already arguin’ with my kid about what's hot. She thinks Nas is wack but loves the Pack?? Need I say more??
So everyone's calling me up and asking me whose side am I on, 50 or Cam? Neither. Truth of the matter is I think the rap game is SO FUCKED UP right now you would be surprised how many of your heroes are looking for a way out. Rap has turned into such a gimmick that now only drama makes you hot. People are actually happy that a new beef has stirred to the point where I'm even reading that this is what is gonna bring Hip-Hop back to the East?? That is the most perverse ideology I've ever heard and it is certainly not the Hip-Hop I fell in love with. While it is exciting, it should only be a piece of news. It should not be what Hip-Hop is.
Maybe watching an innocent bystander at a video shoot get gunned down right before my eyes and his children become fatherless has changed me. Rap USED to be the way out of the streets and a way to lead others out. Nowadays being a rapper is just as dangerous as being in a gang. I cannot partake in something that glorifies the destruction of a race and culture while corporate tycoons who know nothing about the ‘hood reap the benefits while the rappers are left broke and still doin’ street shit to survive. Even worse is when you're rich and gotta do destructive shit to survive.
I'm heading out now but I wanna thank all my fans and non-fans for letting me know how much you miss me...or don't. Sorry if I'm that hero that's letting you down ‘cause I hate when it happens to me. But until law and order is restored back to the music game, I don't know if that's the game I wanna play. You can log onto myspace.com/rahdigga1 and it will direct you to links to hear my music in the meantime. There's also a contest that begins March 1st to submit a demo song to me. The winner (best song of course) will win a free verse from me on the joint so make sure you guys check in frequently. The site can also be accessed though HipHopGame so don't be a stranger.
Luv to all, keep eyes on the prize and heed these words: "In order for a person to go somewhere they've never gone they must do something they've never done!" Make those changes you need to make to better your lives and your spirits. Lord knows I am!
This will be my last entry until after the holidays so it is VERY lengthy. I see there’s a lot of sparks flying over there in the comments. I was expecting more reactions about Jay-Z album, but I see it’s flooded with the “who’s the best female” debate. I guess I triggered that with my comments about Foxy, but please allow me to join in on the conversation. As Candyman would say, “I was obliged to come!”
For starters, the only reason I even brought Foxy up was in hopes that someone else may have heard the same thing or even heard the verses. It was reported that she did a show in Connecticut and spit some verses aimed at me and Kim and I figured you guys heard it too or may have heard something on a mixtape. Wendy Williams even mentioned she heard something along those lines too and usually where there’s smoke, there’s fire. No one can seem to confirm anything, so I’m leaving it at that. She must not be spitting it that hard or it would be all over the media. You know everyone loves drama.
Beef with Foxy is so played out it wouldn’t even be worth it. I’ve never been that chick that goes around calling people out to battle simply because I think too much of myself. I am cordial to everyone and I don’t feel the least bit threatened by any of the chicks and have no problems saying it out loud and never have. All the subliminal shit that any of these chicks are talking about doesn’t even compute on my radar. I’m so seasoned in this rap shit and have been doing this for so long I can rap street, Hollywood, intelligent, underground, overground, Braille, bilingual, sing and engineer my own session at the same time.
You think I really give a shit if Remy is boasting she’s the nicest? That’s what she’s supposed to do as long as she’s got the lane. We as females don’t get the lane very often, so when we do, we got to ride that bitch ‘til the wheels fall off. I did it when I had the lane and so does everyone else. You big up the pioneers, not your competition. For her, I happen to be both. When I hear her talk her talk, I don’t listen and say, “Oh shit, she’s talking ‘bout me.” I’m sorry, guys, but I'm not insecure like that. I’m very strong in my spot. I’m more like, “Awww, that’s so cute, she sounds like me when I first came out.” And in fact when I first came out, I did sound just like that.
That’s why everybody thinks I’m so hardcore, when in real life, I’m the girliest girl on the planet (and believe it or not so is she). I didn’t come out praising chicks; I came out calling them corny-ass rapping whores in all my raps. I never named names but I’m sure everyone got the message. I was on the radio saying, “fuck the chicks, I want the niggaz.” Deep down inside though I was really fans of theirs and really respected them. I wouldn’t dare admit it publicly though. I’m not aspiring to be Remy, that’s going backwards for me. I was there already 2001, ya dig. I’m trying to catch-up to Latifah and Jay-Z or “die tryin’.”
So for anyone who feels like I still have something to prove in that aspect or to say I wasn’t as large in my day is on crack. Maybe because I’ve had a scandal-free, beef-free, not in the news every week career you think I’m not as large if not larger than muhfuckas? Because kids don’t know my first album? I don’t know how many rappers get a key to the city, a starring role in a major motion picture, invites to Versace b-day parties, etc. and not even be a platinum artist. I’m still getting barraged with shit to do politically and don’t even have a project out. Point is I have at least 483k fans (and probably more since Elektra folded and there’s no one to count any Dirty Harriet sales and internet downloads for the last five years) that have grown with me for over a decade and are still waiting for me. As much as they loved the ruggedness and shrewdness of my style, I’m sure they are different people now too, just like me. A little bit more grown-up and mature, with kids now even and would appreciate a little less street ignorance and a little more substance. Maybe not the bootleg buying, downloading-ass kids of today that only care about who can be the most gully, but those aren’t the ones I’m overly concerned with impressing really. This is a business, a career, how I feed my family and I can’t do that anymore just to hold the title “Queen of the Streets” or “Mixtape Queen” or have an album selling 100k. I’m sorry, guys, I just can’t.
I have yet to figure out who the “friend” is in the comments. So far all of my closest friends are denying it but they sound very close to me. They definitely know my situation but I’m very open with you guys anyway, so I’m at a loss as to who it could be. One thing I didn’t like though was him or her giving you the impression that I maybe didn’t want to rap anymore. I say a lot of things in anger to my friends, but at the end of the day I love this rap shit. I didn’t give up on the game, the game gave up on me.
When I was fully active in the mixtape world and doing all the things I needed to do stay alive after our Jrec departure, labels were telling me I wasn’t a new face anymore. And I still continued to do what I needed to do all the way until it got to the point where it felt like I was beating a dead horse. I probably shouldn’t have pulled back fully for buzz sake, but when you get to my position, who really gives a fuck about a buzz if it’s not making you any money? The mixtape world really brandishes nothing but street shit that kids can ride around and pump in stolen cars. It’s cool but I want to be able to simultaneously show people my growth as a person and you can’t really do that on mixtapes. It was like I’m just being contained in this box that can only be released in the hood.
Do you guys have any idea how much I sacrificed in Hollywood since making 13 Ghosts to stay on the East Coast and try to stay on top of the game? I would probably have as much flicks under the belt as Latifah right now. As hard as it is for rappers to admit, we really don’t make a lot of money from rap unless you’re MULTIplatinum (not just platinum) or multi-tasking and at times I do feel like throwing in the towel. Sometimes I feel like it was pointless to rap when rap careers are so short-lived and movies are something I could do for the rest of my life. There’s always a role for grandmother in a movie, not in music…or rap I should say. Fortunately for me I was smart with my money from the beginning and didn’t spend it all on diamonds and cars. It made it made it a little easier to give rap my full 100 when I was getting nothing in return. I made very smart investments all across the board. Instead of “leasing” (yeah, they all lease) six-figure cars and having to give them back, I did things like buy classic cars for a few grand and restored them to ten times their worth. No car notes, just upgrades, and not the oversized rims, and other depreciating upgrades. I didn’t get the bright watch, I got the right watch…It’s the type of shit I can auction to Trump’s wife if my chips get low.
This is why I admire Jay-Z’s album so much. I can’t pretend that I’m anywhere near his status or even lived half of what he has lived, but he’s telling the truth. We got to want more for ourselves. Someone has to motivate niggas to reevaluate their situation before we be fucked up for life. The streets are getting worse, not better. If the positive, intellectual rappers can’t reach us from the primetime networks, then maybe a hustler from the street with the success story of a lifetime can. Disagree if you want, he’s the best to ever do it.
Do I think hip-hop is dead? No, but it is dying but not because of the Jay-Z’s. It is dying because there is too much ignorance and meaningless jibber-jabber being pushed on these records and violence being incited by all the media associated with it now and what used to be friendly competition ends up in bloodshed. The real world simply wants no part of that. Mainstream has no problem embracing rap but it still has to have SOME meaning (“Ridin Dirty”?) There’s a song that white audiences love and it still reflects issues in the hood. Things are getting better corporately though. Now I think execs are seeing rap declining at an alarming rate and are now more willing to give some of the seasoned rappers their kudos. The past few award shows should’ve been evident that hip-hop is losing its voice. Everybody’s spitting the same meaningless bullshit. Nobody’s motivating people in the hood to do better or want more for themselves like street rappers used to do (KRS, Public Enemy, etc…) Everybody’s demo contains the same garbage. Sidebar; I’m REALLY waiting for Nas' album though; HE IS HIP-HOP to me anyway (and everyone thought he was a washed up sucker for love). I think those two working together exemplify how battling and beef used to be. But today’s generation thinks otherwise. If more beefs ended up like that, there would be more empowerment to the game. Nothing is wrong with the killer shit if you think that’s all you know how to do or think you have to do, but don’t expect any awards or plaques. Expect to be starring in Smack DVD’s and to have to sell drugs to keep up your “rapper image.” Trust me, I know.
I really appreciate everyone’s comments and I don’t want you guys being disrespectful of each other’s opinion (nephew). I take it all as constructive criticism and I learn from it. Most of you are telling me stuff I already know, and trust me, I understand what a detriment to my position my absence has been. If you’ve been reading all the journals, I’ve been trying to explain to you guys the crossroads I’ve come to and why I am guilty of jumping ship to an extent. Only if you’ve been in my shoes would you understand my frustrations and my distractions (movies, etc.). “Every time I try to get out, you pull me right back in”…lol..I agree 100% with dat bitch as far as the reinvention part goes. I wouldn’t call “Touch It” my favorite verse either. Originally the remix was going to be Busta and me and I was supposed to follow the theme of his original version, hence all the sex crap in my verse. If you were to read my MySpace you would be surprised how many people think I need to rock like that from now on.
Even if I wanted to tone down the rugged Rah-Digga, my voice alone wouldn’t allow it. I think, however, I rock. I still need real backing or it’s going to be meaningless. And I don’t just mean a major label. If I were to go indie I still need a strong support system or at the very least, a strong affiliation (Common and Kanye). Every successful artist does. I mean, c’mon, I do a feature with Busta like once a year. My whole career since my first album was solely built on mixtapes. He never put me on any major single with just him and me. Biggie did it with Kim, Jay did it with Foxy, and even Fat Joe had sense enough to do it with Remy on “Lean Back.” That is really what catapulted Remy. Me doing a million mixtapes can’t compete with that. Everybody does that for their female. Not my dude though. And I don’t mean the joints with six other people on them either.
It’s completely understandable if the younglings don’t really remember me from my prime. I’m not flooding mixtapes like that so I don’t feel no way if they feel whomever out right now is the nicest. The fact that people are still debating me against EVERY chick that comes out to this day from Babs on up to Remy says a lot. As inactive in the music as I am, I must still count for something. I’m not trying to live in the past, but you can’t erase my contributions either. Just like no one’s going to approach MC Lyte and tell her to fuck off she’s not being consistent or bash all of her supporters for remembering her in her heyday. And if we haven’t learned anything about rap, we’ve learned not to count anyone out and the same goes for me. I’m even hearing Charlie Baltimore is working with Scott Storch now and she’s got fire (who woulda thought?). I wouldn’t give a fuck if I didn’t put anything out till 2010, DON’T EVER COUNT ME OUT. People are always going to argue who’s the best; it’s just a matter of who’s more visible at the time. So what’s going to do it for me?
Hmmm…I hear beef does wonders for one’s career but that may not necessarily work for me. I don’t roll with a million bodyguards, I’m always dolo or with my kid and my firearm and if confronted under those circumstances, I will draw. That’ll be a new twist, huh, the bitches shooting each other now...lol. A new team maybe? No team at all even. Maybe I’ll launch a “Digga coming out of retirement campaign”…lol…We’ll just have to see, won’t we?
P.S. I think I figured out who the friend is, especially since they leaked the new album title, “We’ll See” At least for now it is. Maybe tomorrow it’ll be “Hollywood-Swinging”…hahaha. I think it fits perfect, the answer to all of your questions, statements and opinions. Have a blessed holiday season and stay tuned!
Hey, everybody. I know it's been a minute since my last journal. I hope everyone enjoyed his or her Thanksgiving. I know I did. This year I was able to make the rounds I haven't been able to make in years being Rah Digga and all. People were so surprised when I showed up at their doorsteps. I'm always telling somebody I'll be there and then something will come up and I can never make it to anything. Well I damn sure did it up all in the hood this year. Don't get me wrong, I still play the hood very close. All my family is still there so I can't go too far. People are so used to seeing me around the way it's not even a shock if someone says, "Yo, I just saw Rah Digga at the bodega!" People are like, “We see her all the time!” People really freak out when they see me at The Dollar Store or doing my own food shopping like, "Don't you have a chef or something?" And I'm like, "I don't know any chefs that make deviled eggs or macaroni salad like me, dammit!" Better tell them jokers to stop playing and put some tuna up in that shit.
Right now I can't stop listening to Jay-Z album. I have to say this is really one of my favorites from him. He's really giving me inspiration from a very mature and very evolved point of view. I hear a lot of the younglings aren't really feeling him right now and that's understandable. A lot of the things he's talking about are things you probably won't understand unless you've been there, and quite frankly, if you're a teenager or really haven't been past a 50 mile radius of you're childhood barrio, then you probably won't. Honestly, I've been having issues myself recording because I'm trying to communicate with the youth when I really don't know what to say to them at times. I'm not slinging in the hood anymore. I'm not at the Fight Klub. I'm not putting Vaseline on my face beating bitches down anymore and I'm certainly not in the club doing the happy feet dances to all these kiddy songs. I'm attending movie premieres and parties with A-listers and eating bruschetta. My way of thuggin’ is going to the range. But when I get on the mic, I have to be the Rah Digga from ten years ago when I was that broad or else the streets won't accept me. That's a really hard position to be in and I salute Jay-Z for embracing his maturity and making the kind of album us "grown folks" can enjoy. I like to perform with live bands and things like that now too and I just hope my fans can accept and understand that I've grown up too and I have different things to talk about.
Let's face it; I'm not quite the spring chicken anymore even though I still look good as hell, please believe it ain’t nothing to revert back to that thug bitch though. Especially now that I'm hearing Foxy Brown is taking shots at me. I don't know how true it is but if anyone can provide some quotes, I'll be more than happy to put a bitch in check. Shit has been cool with all the chicks thus far and no one has dared mention my name on no bullshit, but if this is the case now, LET'S GO!
In response to a few of the comments, to thaTRUTH who made the comment about Jay-Z sales after ten-plus years in comparison to Busta and Diddy in reference to my previous journal: There are a lot of different factors involved with Jay-Z. There was a whole ‘nother level of hype surrounding Jay-Z. The whole retirement thing, people want to see if he’s still got it. He had the hood and the mainstream thirsty. As powerful as Puffy is or as consistent as Busta is, Jay-Z is like Bill Clinton in this rap shit. He in fact has a whole new audience right now. The whole hood had his album for weeks now, that 700k+ came from people in Larry Merchant circle type shit. I'm sure a lot of Beyonce fans even came out for Jigga as well. Fact is, he has a lot of corporate, don't listen to rap AT ALL folks riding with his ass right now. He reached people that Busta and Puffy probably don't reach. I don't think those same people care about Puffy rapping, but they will adorn a tailor made Sean John suit. And I definitely don't think they care about Rick James in the ghetto. There's always an exception to the rules and Jay-Z is that anomaly.
Secondly, to the Bed-Stuy Vet, please don't mince my words in regards to the VH1 Hip-Hop Honors. I don't and never have knocked any other rap chick in this game. I have nothing but love and respect for Kim. She was an innovator and gave female MCs a whole new light in this rap shit. As far as my comments for bringing the B-girl back to rap, sorry but it's true. When I first hit the scene, I was being compared to MC Lyte because the tone at that time for females was sex. When I came with “Digga Digga, birth name Rashia" girls were walking around singing "Take it in the butt, yes yes what.” It's true, my friend. It's not a dis. Truth be told, chicks didn't really fuck with me too tough in the beginning because they thought I was too thug or dikey or whatever. I never mentioned sex in any of my verses (okay, the “Whoa (Remix)”...lol). You know what I mean, dammit! My style was definitely on the opposite end of the spectrum and the media constantly put us at odds with each other. As far as Queen Latifah (you go DAT BITCH, ALWAYS TAKING THE WORDS OUT MY DAMN MOUTH) she wasn't really doing the street thing like that. She was still around, but hell, we’re all still around. She wasn't a making waves like that, at least on no rap shit anyway. Television became her focus. She's like Eve of the ‘90s. You can't take anything from her, she's a veteran, but the fact remains that if anybody can be compared to MC Lyte, I'M THAT BITCH!
That's it for now...my ass is trying to be Queen Latifah too right now. I have to meet with my acting coach right now. I’m preparing for my next role so y’all be cool. Be safe. You know how hectic the streets can get around the holidays. Keep you're money close and you're strap even closer! Sorry, bad advice if you don't have a permit…BUT I DON'T HAVE THAT PROBLEM…HAHAHAHA. Don't forget to check out the site. Thank you to all the positive and negative feedback; y’all really keep a chick on track. Next journal we can kick about KKKramer or the fact that black people can lose their right to vote next year…hmm…
Technically I wasn’t due for the new journal entry ‘til the weekend, but after reading the comments from the last entry, I had to jump in.
First, to Bob Barker, I totally respect what you’re saying and I think it makes a lot of sense. You reiterated a lot of the points I made from my third or fourth journal (not sure which one) as far as females selling records and my label situation. If you’ve been reading all of my journals, I think some of the answers to your questions or statements are probably already there. I do appreciate your honesty and I do understand how it is important to stay relevant to the new generation of hip-hop followers. As far as Busta and Puffy’s situation, we are just in a different time now. The rap game belongs to the South and not many East Coast artists are doing much chart topping these days. Secondly, new artists are always going to deem more attention than artists that have been around for over a decade so you cannot compare Busta and Puffy sales to new people. I’m not even too far behind them as far as time served in the game, but I’ve never gotten the chance to really saturate the market either as they have. I’m still new to some people which is a good thing. Some people think I’m an actress turned rapper…lol. As far as the mixtape scene goes, I don’t know how much Rah Digga you have in the stash, but I pretty much ran the mixtape scene for years subsequent to my leaving J Records. If you’re in the tri-state area, you still hear Rah Digga’s music frequently on the mixtape circuit. Remember mixtapes only go so far. To address the mixtape scene, one thing I can definitely say is that I pulled back tremendously. I don’t do half, or even a quarter, of the mixtape songs I’ve done in the past.
I used to do songs every day for the mixtapes, whole albums in less than a week. I did a whole best of Rah Digga mixtape in three days before. One week I would be doing a Best Of mixtape for me, then Busta, DJ L, Kay Slay, Whoo Kid, you name them…WHOLE ALBUMS, KID! I was so consumed in the mixtape circuit that it took me a minute to say, “Wait a minute, I’m not making a dime from this.” There is only so much a person can do without getting paid for it. How many studio sessions do I have to book and pay engineers just to watch the DJ’s make all the money while I ride with the “promotional use only” shit. That is one of the main reasons I fell back from the mixtape scene. Even though it was keeping me hot in the street, it wasn’t putting a dime in my pocket. These days, it’s more about the dollars and cents to me than about the music. I’m not a little kid in this game, I’m a grown woman with bills and responsibilities to my family and my staff. I love the music and it’s always going to keep me rapping, but the road that I travel is definitely being dictated by dollars and cents. If that means less mixtapes and more movies then so be it. And quite honestly, the only thing ANY artist needs is a hit record. That and a team to properly push it. One hit record goes a lot further than 1,000 mixtapes. I don’t have to prove myself to the streets. Niggas already know how I stay. They’re just waiting for an album already. And the ones that don’t are gonna get brainwashed into it soon as they hear that one hit record. That’s just how the game goes. As soon as Foxy puts out a record, people will say she’s the best. When’s the last time anybody heard from Da Brat before the Franchize Boyz joint? Doesn’t matter what you’re doing or not doing in the meantime. All that matters is that hit. Trust me if “Touch It” was a Rah Digga single, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation. I know what it takes to get it popping but those elements are not in place for me as far as music goes and I’m just giving away singles for mixtape purposes. SO NOT COOL!
To my nephew, whom I love so very much, I want to say you’re absolutely dead-on as far as the different circuits that are going on. He made a comment about Lupe Fiasco killing it on the college circuit and it’s not all necessarily about the mainstream. You’re absolutely right, little nephew. In all honesty, I come from a world of all backpackers and the Lyricist Lounge era. For those who are too young to know about that, that is pretty much the school of rap who brought out Mos Def, Talib Kweli, Common Sense, etc. Anyone and everyone in that world that you can think of prior to Kanye West, that is the circuit. The list goes on and on. It’s people whose music we love and we can’t understand why they don’t have that major mainstream success. That whole world is really where Rah Digga comes from. Those are the CD’s I have in my CD changer. I will listen to Lupe Fiasco before I listen to TI. I appreciate every artist for what they do and what they bring to the table, but I’m definitely one of those who come from that “backpacker” world. I would say that the reason why I crossed over and was able to be so visible in the mainstream world is because of Busta. I’m being recognized in the mainstream world because Busta is an MTV/pop artist. That’s where he comes from even though he sounds like a cold blooded killer on mixtapes. “Party and Bullshit” are the kind of records that need to be made to fulfill that world I’m in, but “Straight Spittin” and “Curtains” are the records that win me my true fans and long as you have those, later for the wishy-washy that follow what they hear on the radio, today you’re the best tomorrow it’s the next person that drop a record.
And to my girl, “Dat Bitch”. I don’t know who you are or where you are, but if you ever see me somewhere in the city or run into me in your travels, please make yourself known to me. If I didn’t know any better, I would say that you’re my alter-ego walking around. You are right to there being a whole Flipmode crew in existence prior to Papoose. Everyone is doing well but we ditched the group effort after we left J Records because it’s very hard to put six people together as a group and really try to do the damn thing. It really doesn’t work. You have one person from the Bronx, one person from Brooklyn, one person from Jersey. You have all kinds of different music personalities and all sorts of different tastes. It was becoming rather difficult to finish and album but we did have a banging album, for the most part. Busta isn’t entirely at fault because at the end of the day, when it’s time to fill those label quotas, they want the bread and butter. They have to make that end of the year budget. They don’t want to hear anything about a Flipmode album. They want to hear about the Busta Rhymes record. The Mariah record was a Flipmode single but the label did a last-minute call for a Busta Rhymes album so that became his single. Outsiders will look in and say that Busta is selfish and doesn’t want to share the light, but Busta was the only rap superstar on J Records as with Electra. When they needed those heavy hitters like Busta and Missy to come with it, everything else got put on hold. I can’t blame him for Flipmode’s failure, but artists don’t always make the best CEO’s. That’s all I’m going to say about that.
Everything is pretty good on the homefront. I’m a pretty happy camper right now. People, let me tell you. If there are any other artists reading this, you have to know that there is so much money out there that we make and we don’t even know about. I’m just finding all kinds of things going on. We’re signed to three different unions. We have ASCAP for writing and publishing, AFTRA for the television appearances, talk show, awards, etc. and there’s SAG that acts as a union for movies. There are so many entities from which we get paid. There are digital payments. I’m fishing through years of paperwork getting my taxes prepared now like, wait a minute! I didn’t get this check! I’ve been faxing off paperwork and letters and affidavits to people so I can collect some of the things that have been outstanding. It’s crazy because we have lawyers and accountants that are supposed to do this for us but sometimes they miss things too. It’s SOOO important to be on top of you’re shit. You got Wesley Snipes allegedly on the run from owing back-taxes. When you’re getting lump sums of money, it’s all good, but when the end of the year comes and you have to cut a five or six-figure check to Uncle Sam, you know it’s like, I’ll catch them on the next filing! Things back up. And as rich as Wesley Snipes is, how the hell does he owe $6 million in taxes? If you’re in a certain bracket, they’re trying to come for half. You pay people to take care of these matters, but if you don’t stay on top of things yourselves, you get in trouble. Right now every piece of tile on my floor is covered with a stack of papers. I have bank statements going back to 2000 and I’m finding a lot of money. We’re not even getting to the money that I would be finding overseas. That’s like a whole ‘nother salary going on over there. I haven’t even dove into that pile. Oh my goodness! What a wonderful Christmas this will be! I’ll be doing this probably all the way into the next journal. The IRS told me I had 30 days to report any additional findings. This is my life as a cover girl, ladies and gentlemen! Stay tuned!
hat's
up, everybody? I hope all is well with you. It's been a couple of weeks
since my last journal. I've really been on the low and there's not much
to report. I'm still auditioning for roles and getting feedback. The last
role that I was ranting and raving about in the last entry is being held
up right now because one of the principle characters is out of the country.
I'm still waiting on some news from that one. Other than that, it's been
really quiet.
I've been
busy in the studio recording a bunch of stuff. I think I'm getting ready
to release something soon. I was approached by some folks that want to
start a label. If I had a dollar for everybody that says they got a label
I wouldn't need to rap anymore. I'd be up there with the Powerball people.
Basically, they just have a ton of money and they don't know what to do
with it. They're looking for something or someone in which to invest.
I have complete control over what songs stay and go and what videos get
shot while they just pay it. Basically they're going to do everything
a major label would do and all I would have to do is go to major label
and give them the album or even just find distribution if I wanna go the
indie route. Almost sounds too good to be true. It's like me telling a
label to give me all these hundreds of thousands of dollars and then "OK,
I'll send you the receipts when I'm done!" We'll see how that goes.
I'll definitely keep you in tune with that. It's really sad what's going
on with labels these days. People have jobs in these offices and get salaries
for positions that they're not even fulfilling. They want YOU to come
with your first single ready to go. They're not really doing the artist
development thing anymore. When I first came into the game they were putting
bitches in charm school…not that I needed it! Now you have to come
to the table with an album ready to go and everybody already agreeing
what the first single is and where the first video is getting shot. New
artists, keep the faith…
Did everyone
enjoy the VH1 Hip-Hop Honors? I enjoyed them a lot but I would have enjoyed
them even more if I got to do the MC Lyte part. Sorry to bust anybody's
bubble but if there is anyone in this day and age that can even be compared
to MC Lyte that would be myself. I got love for all the chicks out there
but I was the chick that bought the B-girl back to rap while everyone
else was fuck-rappin. I made it easy for the Babs and Remys of today to
get away with the hard-rock style while nobody understood why I was going
against the grain of Kim and Foxy back then. Granted it was the responsibility
of my team to make that leap for me and contact the folks who put that
together but VH1 should've also did their homework. MC Lyte is actually
a very good friend and we're working on some things together. I'm on a
panel with her and other DJ's and journalists and we do various forums
across the country. We just chop it up and keep each other updated on
what's going on in each other's lives.
I saw the
Scratch article where they did an article on female MC's and they said
the track for people to check for from me was "Down for the Count"
which was Reflection Eternal featuring Xzibit and myself. At the end of
the day, everybody's entitled to their own opinion but that was just a
verse from me. Whoever wrote that article doesn't sound like too much
of a Rah Digga fan or really know my history like that. They wouldn't
have even classified it as my record. Besides, that verse can't even touch
half the verses from my first album, especially "Curtains".
Pennsylvania
is always slow. There really isn't much going on out here but Wal-Mart
and the shooting range. I'm not going to harp on the range too much because
I think people are taking it out of context like "Rah Digga's glorifying
guns." I don't think these people are really digesting what's going
on with the journal. They just read me talking about guns and think I'm
going crazy. I don't know what that is. For the most part, that's what
I do. I go to the range. As a matter of fact, I just came from Wal-Mart
and while my daughter was at school I was at the range. That's pretty
much what I do out here besides recording. When I'm in the City, I'll
be telling you about a bunch of shit I bought from 5th Ave. But I'm not.
I'm in the woods so man up, crybabies and get over it already before you
get bucked by a 12 year-old.
I've really
been replenishing the music. I've given out so much music in the past
few years. I've pretty much put it all out there and I'm just regrouping
right now. I think this investment proposition is going to be a sure thing.
It's actually a family member of mine. He's one of those family members
I've only seen at wakes and funerals. When I have spoken to him, it's
been lucrative for me. I've spoken with him and some of his business partners
and they don't sound like they're playing. I'm just getting an album ready
to go. I always have an album ready to go, but there's always new inspiration
when you have a real situation in your face. You're probably wondering
where does Busta fit into this situation. This particular venture is not
going to be an indie. For all intents and purposes, we're still going
through the channels of the major labels. Aftermath has first rights of
course.. I don't think Busta would be real supportive of an independent
situation. He's a high-profile, MTV pop-star. That whole indie route isn't
really his thing. If he was to support it, it's all good. If he wouldn't,
it's all good. I wouldn't let Busta interfere with a profitable situation
with me. I never have. I'm going to do me regardless.
Anybody into
reality TV? I watch a lot of Forensic Files and CSI Court TV all day long.
Maybe that's why I'm so gun crazy now…oops…I said I wasn't gonna
go there. Sorry, there's a lot of crazy people in the world…SHEEESH…I
will stray and watch America's Next Top Model and Project Runway. Those
are my two favorite reality shows right now. My mom actually got me watching
Flavor of Love. She's such a chickenhead. Always asking me if something
Wendy Williams says is true. All up in the rumor mill. Gotta love her
though. I'm trying to get into this new one with the ghost hauntings,
the whole CSI factor. Y'all know that's my shit right there. I was checking
on the casting. Reality shows aren't really my thing but that's one that
I wouldn't mind being a part of. I don't think it's going to be an ongoing
thing though. I think it's a one-season deal for Halloween or something.
When I really
want to hang out, I go to the City because there is no banging social
scene in the Poconos. That's not what I came out here for. I came here
to get away from all the parties. I'm out here being a little reclusive
and my daughter is in a good school and she doesn't have to worry about
everybody saying "your mother's Rah Digga!" When I'm out here,
I get to smell the morning dew and write rhymes and think, reflect and
chill. Those are things I don't get to do in the City when people are
all around bugging me. I wouldn't recommend coming here for a party.
There are
a lot of dope resorts up here. The Poconos are good for the resorts and
ski spots. There's hunting too if that's your thing. That's not really
my thing. I had signed up for one trip as part of a deal I got for being
in the NRA but I'm not into killing defenseless animals. That's not really
my cup of tea but if that's your thing, this is definitely the place to
come do it.
I'm actually
planning another trip to California in the next few weeks. It'll probably
be in the first or second week of November. It's a double-edged sword
auditioning out here because you get to practice more and you send what
you want on tape, but the people don't get to see you in person. That's
really what they want. They want to be able to size you up while you're
in front of them. The couple of things that I've been putting myself on
tape for is what I have to go out to California now to chop it up with
the producers and directors. That's where I'll be in the next couple of
weeks.
Thank you
to all that have been purchasing music from rahdiggamusic.com. There is
going to be a contest coming up soon where, for a fee, people can upload
any one of their demo songs. It has to be an original beat and at the
end of the contest, I'm going to give a verse to whoever wins that contest.
In other words, who's joint I'm feeling the most. Think of it as a raffle
and the winner gets to do a song with Rah Digga which is a pretty sweet
deal because I charge anywhere from 10k and up for a verse and that's
doing my other celebrity friends a favor on some one hand washing the
other type shit. There will also be consolation prizes for others who
don't win. That portion of the website is still under construction but
once that kicks off, I'll be sure to let everyone know.
ey,
everyone. I'm having a very splendid week. For starters I've been getting
a lot of phone calls from my agent about different castings and things
going on. Because I'm on the East Coast, it's a little bit harder because
out West I can just walk into the offices. I've been fortunate to be able
to take some of the auditions at home, which actually gives me a better
advantage because I can pick the times to get into the role and prepare.
One of the
biggest problems I have is that damn casting room. You walk into that
room and it's so cold and icy and people are acting like robots in there.
It's hard to act with emotion and jump into character. I can't tell you
the name of this particular film because I don't wanna jinx myself but
it definitely has a very A-list ensemble cast. They were actually interested
in seeing what I had to say even though I wasn't in California. They let
me do it from home. For the past three or four days, I just completely
shut the world out. This one particular scene was very dark and emotional.
I put myself in a world of darkness and sadness. I wasn't talking to anyone
or watching any TV. I hung up every Rest in Peace t-shirt and everything
that would make me sad. I stared at it for days and just got into this
crazy, dark place. It came out fabulous and they loved it. I'm just waiting
to hear news on that as it develops. I know they're actually getting ready
to start production within the next couple of weeks. I'll probably be
knowing very soon. Hopefully it goes well. I know I gave it 150%. If it
doesn't work out, there are others.
I know I
was supposed to update the journal a few days ago, but I really did cut
off communication with the rest of the world. I didn't want to get distracted
by anything. I just really wanted to go all into everything. One of the
things about Thirteen Ghosts is that I was really unprepared for that
reading and kind of BS'd my way through that reading. I was like, Just
forget the character. I'm just going to be myself. They let me be myself
even in the movie as you can see. For awhile I was taking that approach
of just being myself but that approach doesn't always work with every
character. I went the complete opposite route this time so hopefully I'll
be getting some good news about this one. It's actually a much bigger
film than Thirteen Ghosts was (definitely has some Oscar undertones).
If I get it, I'll be a damn-happy camper.
I also want
to say in response to some of the comments, because I do read the journal,
I just want people to know that I did not intentionally wait six years
to put out an album. I want everyone to know that I really, really, really
did not ask to be put in this position. It's unfortunate that I can't
really tell each and every individual everything that's going on and make
them understand the politics of this business. For one, it's really hard
when you're a female and two, it's hard when you're a female and not blatantly
selling sex. The MC/lyricist, there really isn't a big crease in the market
for us. And now it's even hard for the sexual rappers. Kim can barely
go gold, Missy can barely go gold, and these are two of the biggest chicks
in the game. It boils down to the labels not wanting to invest in females.
It costs three times as much money to market a female than it does a man
because of the make-up, hair and all that. Ultimately, they feel that
the best a female rapper can do is gold. Platinum is like wishful thinking.
There hasn't been a female rapper to go gold for a few years now even
when they have the hottest record on the radio. They're just not taking
their chances with chicks. And quite truthfully, I don't think people
are buying the albums. It's not even what I think. The proof is in the
Soundscan's. An even more heart-wrenching realization is the world is
actually starting to refer to female rappers as Nelly Furtado and Fergie.
No disrespect to them, they are both good friends of mine, but where does
that leave female emcees like myself and Shawna and Babs and Remy? I'm
really sticking around because I have so many fans that show me undying
loyalty and I can't let them down but being totally honest, I make WAY
more money from movie residuals than any royalty check I've ever received.
It doesn't even measure, people, trust me when I tell you. Don't forget
if you want my new music, you can always check my website.
And I also
wanted to respond to the comment about how going to the range is not "feminine."
Let's be clear. I'm not going to the range to go out and commit armed
robberies. That's not feminine. There are a lot of things that women do
on a daily basis that is not classy or feminine in my taste but I'm no
one's judge (shout out to "dat bitch" in the comments…she's100%
with her comments…and my nephew Roc…lol). It's a hobby of mine
and self-defense is important. It has nothing to do with femininity when
women and children are raped and killed in their own homes every day.
I don't do it to boast about it and try to be a tough guy. I do it for
my own personal pleasure. I do it so I won't be the dumb ass getting killed
because I forgot to take the safety off or shooting all the bullets and
missing or hitting innocent people like the jackasses in the hood that
don't know what the fuck they're doing. At the end of the day, I'm nothing
but ladylike and feminine, but I have to let you know that if you think
for one second that you can play me out, or rob me for the things I've
worked so hard for, you got another thing coming. You're not going to
get the typical "lady behind the counter screaming" response.
If you think I'm going over the top on the gun thing, everybody's entitled
to their own personal opinion, but I see more women at the range than
men, and they're very rich, sophisticated, "you're not stealing my
rubies" ladies, most of them as old as your grandmother. Don't forget,
I live in the wild, wild, west now. "When in Rome, do as the Romans
do." Not to mention the bears that casually stroll through my yard
and even invade my neighbors houses when they smell pies and cakes baking.
It would be a travesty to have my daughter outside playing and getting
mauled while I boo-hoo like a helpless victim…WRONG…BANG…BANG…BITCH!
(Didn't that just happen to a women and her two kids in Jersey? Yeah…they're
DEAD too). And I certainly don't have to remind you of the defenses I
have to put up when I go back to the hood to "give back to the community"
ya know. Don't we rappers always get accused of forgetting where we came
from? Respected or not, I'd be STUPID not to go back strapped!
Hopefully
the next time I write this journal I should be having some good news about
the role.
ey,
I'm back. I'm updating my journal. It's been a minute. I actually skipped
a week. As you know I had a rough week or two from when I got home. I
was in a reclusive state. All is well. Everything is back to normal. I've
been very busy on the music tip.
I completed
a remix project with Chocolate Thai. She was featured on the Showtime
battle show Next. We're actually in the process of preparing a tour overseas.
We did a joint so we could perform it together. We're putting this out
prior to the tour just to add to the buzz. When they hear us performing
it on stage it won't be so foreign. Babs was also recently added to the
bill. That should be a nice little underground, thug chick run.
As you know
I spent the whole summer out in LA beating up the streets. I'm pretty
much starting from scratch since it's been a minute since I did 13 Ghosts.
Everything is going well. I'm actually studying four different scripts
right now.
I've been
working overtime recording a whole new batch of Rah Digga joints. They're
coming quite well. The popular consensus amongst all of my peers is that
it's my best work to date. I know getting some of that fresh Cali air
put a new perspective on life and things and it's got me flowing a whole
'nother way right now. I can't get wait to get these done and up on the
website, which you guys must tune into! RahDiggaMusic.com!
Make sure you click that link.
I've been
doing a lot of back and forth to Jersey. I'm very active in the real estate
game. I'm getting ready to close on a couple of properties. Forgive me,
guys, I am definitely a slumlord! I'm getting ready to rack up on some
more properties. That's always a good thing. The music industry is inconsistent
and the mortgage still gotta get paid every month. I'll always have things
to fall back on. That's pretty much what's going on. I'm heavy in the
studio with it and within the next month or two I'll be back in California
shooting one of these projects I got lined up. Stay tuned because you
never know what's going to happen in a day in the life of Rah Digga.
I went to
the range yesterday because that's one of the only things to do in the
Pocono's. I don't claim to be some gun-slinging chick, but my aim is so
tight right now! I actually did a song about going to the range. It's
crazy because in the beginning, I used to be one of those people who was
scared of guns. I didn't want guns around my kid or in the house. My dude
being the street guy that he is, he taught me how to use them. He's always
giving me pointers on how to use it and he makes sure I can use it when
I'm by myself. For awhile it was going in one ear and out the other. For
awhile I thought I would be a deadass because I would be firing with the
safety on. Once I started going to the range and started meeting people
who shot for sport and hobby, it gave me a whole new outlook on it.
See where
I live, people don't dress up glamorous or hang out at tapas bars. There's
no mall, there's really not even a popping movie theater out here. You
go to the range and Wal-Mart and hunt. Ammo shops are as frequent as sushi
bars in Cali or Starbucks in NY. The activities are so limited out here
that going to the range has replaced going to the mall for me. I'm surrounded
by people whose little kids are getting their first rifles and shotguns
before they're 10 years-old and everybody's wife and grandmother knows
how to shoot so I figured I better get up to speed. I live in a very rural
part of PA where hunting is very much regarded as a holiday. School is
closed for the first day of hunting season. It's really serious with the
gun game out here. When you're in the hood and you're obtaining guns illegally
and the best u can do is a 9mm or some punk ass 25 or u waitin for somebody
2 get some new guns from down south and shit, it's different than here
where you can buy a machine gun at Wal-Mart with a driver's license and
no criminal record.
I actually
get to purchase and shoot guns that aren't even accessible in the hood.
It's real crazy. So far I own about seven of them. I have an AR-15. I
have a Mossberg shotgun. I have a Winchester 30-30 rifle. The shotgun
is supposed to be used for turkey, ducks and trap shooting. The 30-30
Winchester rifle is what people shoot bears with. I have this other rifle
called a 300 Magnum. That thing is so powerful that they don't allow you
to hunt with them unless you're hunting for elk or other crazy-sized animals.
Ironic as it is, they consider that overkill and torture in hunting. I
really don't like to shoot it because the recoil on it is so bad that
you can get thrown on the ground just from the kickback. My shoulder was
badly bruised for almost a week. I have a .22 that I use for target practice
and the AR I use to "investigate strange noises". I have a .40
cal (the chick version of the .45 I call it lol) but I don't really care
4 glocks. They're hard to cock back, especially when I got my nails done.
I like my revolver. I have a .357 Magnum revolver that converts to a .38
as well. When I first got it, they told me to use the .357 bullets so
I could get used to the recoil and the .38 bullets wouldn't be so bad.
Well I shot it and it literally took the skin off my hand. The kickback
was so crazy. The instructor told me to stick with the .38 bullets. The
.357 is a little too powerful for me. I keep it with the .38 bullets and
that's the gun I usually travel with. I even got some World War II shit
for fun that I have to stuff with black powder.
That's my
gun collection. Don't fuck with me because I have a license to carry all
of these things. I'm also a proud card-carrying member of the NRA so I
get a whole side of perks with my gun use.
On my MySpace,
the gun I'm holding is my AR. That's what I use to investigate a strange
noise. I'm not doing this to be thug or to try to prove a point in the
hood because technically I'm not even allowed to bring these things to
the hood. The handguns are cool with my permits but the cops would definitely
be in my ass about the rifles specially since there are no elk running
around in the bricks.
Where I live
can be creepy and every other day in the news now u hear about kids get
kidnapped right out the house w/ the parents home. You hear about the
Jon Benets. It's one thing to live with violence in the streets but where
I live, the man who installs your ADT can know how to bypass the system
at night. There are so many other dangerous elements going on outside
in the world besides gangs. There's all the Jeffrey Dahmers and Charles
Mansons out there and with me living next to a camp with a lake I may
even have to worry about a Jason Vorhees! Fuck that. I'd rather have them
and not need them then need them and not have them! At the end of the
day there's absolutely no crime out here because everybody knows what
time it is and you can pretty much assume everyone's packing. So if you
see me wandering around the hood dolo like I usually am, don't get any
funny ideas.
ey,
guys, it's Digga Digga checking in. I'm a little late with this week's
entry. I'm just getting back in town from my extended West Coast trip.
Ever since I've come home I've been hit with bad news. I'm sure everybody
heard about the deaths in Newark with the five people getting shot. It
turns out the youngest victim is the daughter of one of my girlfriends.
Another good friend of mine, Kip, was involved in the making of Carmen.
He was killed on a motorcycle. It's been back-to-back bad news. I've been
out of touch for the week.
I do apologize
for fans logging on. I'm back at the homefront in PA. Things are real
quiet out here. I live in a real rural part of time. There's not a lot
to report. I had a wonderful LA trip. Actually right before I went on
the plane I recorded a banging, banging track. I think it's going to bring
me back. It's a new and improved "Party and Bullshit." It's
going to run through the channels and we'll see what it does.
My daughter
is just starting school so I'm back to being a soccer mom at home, cooking
for the family. I'll keep you guys posted on any other updates. Keep your
eyes and ears tuned in. You might catch me doing something on Broadway.
I have to keep my acting going.
You can also
catch me on Charon Don's single also featuring Lil' Scrappy. I'm looking
forward to that. I haven't really been out and about but I'm dealing with
a bunch of wakes and funerals. Nothing fun to report, but stick around.
hat's
up everybody? It's the first lady of the Flipmode Squad. As we bring the
summer to a close I've teamed up with HipHopGame to let you know what's
going on with me. I'll cover a couple things that I did this summer and
what my plans are for the rest of the year and the upcoming year.
I am currently
in Los Angeles right now, which is where I've been the entire summer.
I'm getting myself back into the film world. Digga's still acting. I got
a lot of kudos in Hollywood for what I've already done. You may remember
I did Carmen with Beyonce where she's playing Dorothy Dandridge. I'm pretty
much picking up where I left off and still doing the music.
I still got
RahDiggaMusic.com.
I got a lot of songs up there. I have new songs and old songs. Go check
that out, there's music DJ's don't even have up there.
I recently
attended a birthday party for Robby Reid. It was supposed to be a cookout
but it was more like a club. There were 1,000 people there from Magic
Johnson to Cedric the Entertainer to Anthony Hamilton. One second, somebody's
calling…
I just got
a call from some engineers that live in the same area. I have some time
to record. I also have to go prepare for as how tonight with Slum Village
at the Long Beach Convention Center. It's special to me since I'm going
to be performing "A Day at the Range" which was produced by
J.Dilla. That's another joint you can get on the website!
I've done
so many things out here. You're really living life day-to-day out here.
You run into a-listers at the thrift stores, the bagel shop and the mall
out here. Just how easily you can run into a rapper in New York, you run
into actors out here. This is a great place to be if you're trying to
make it in Hollywood. I spend half my time out here and half my time in
New York.
I can't keep
on rambling on because I have to get ready for my show. This is the start
of a wonderful thing. I'm sure you're all wondering where I've been and
there are people who have never gotten to hear the work I've recorded
over the years because mixtape joints only go so far. If you log on to
this you'll definitely be exposed to the world of the freshest female
lyricist on the planet! I'm signing out. Tune in next week.
02/08 - 
All
the News 
Home
HHG
on Myspace
Hello to all. Hope everyone is having a blessed new year thus far. It's been a second since I hit y’all with a journal and I do apologize. I've been extremely busy making preparations to move out West permanently (sob sob). My friends are acting like they're gonna miss me so much when none of their stinkin' asses visit me in the {oconos...lol..,They all say it's too cold up here so I gotta come to da hood. Come to think of it, isn't Newark always the hottest fucking city on the weather channel? They might have a point. 
Don't
forget to log on to 
hat's
up, everybody? I hope all is well with you. It's been a couple of weeks
since my last journal. I've really been on the low and there's not much
to report. I'm still auditioning for roles and getting feedback. The last
role that I was ranting and raving about in the last entry is being held
up right now because one of the principle characters is out of the country.
I'm still waiting on some news from that one. Other than that, it's been
really quiet.
ey,
everyone. I'm having a very splendid week. For starters I've been getting
a lot of phone calls from my agent about different castings and things
going on. Because I'm on the East Coast, it's a little bit harder because
out West I can just walk into the offices. I've been fortunate to be able
to take some of the auditions at home, which actually gives me a better
advantage because I can pick the times to get into the role and prepare.
