6/22/2009: Poison Pen Journal Entry #44 Yo, I’m looking for some parmesan cheese., I can’t find that shit though. You guys like the record though? I actually did a record with M.O.P and there was no yelling and it was hot. It leaked on the internet and it wasn’t intentional but we couldn’t stop it so we decided to make it intentional. Shout out to my PR dude Semp. It’s the first leak off The Money Shot album and it’s called “Magnifique”. I don’t even say that word once on the track, but I already get enough comparisons to Rick Ross, being a fat motherfucker that occasionally rocks a beard and shades, and he has a song called “Magnificent” so I decided to change it. The people are digging it and it’s on all the major sites and blogs. DJ Self on Power 105 is blasting it off. It’s a good look so far. It’s a free download and the fact that so many people are speaking about it makes me feel good. Honestly, when I do these records, it’s to keep people talking. Why do you think I used the word “Swagnificent”?  That word is ridiculous.  I knew people would have shit to say about it!  I don’t need to prove anything to anyone.  All I have to do is entertain.  Yall can keep those 4000 bar verses to yourself and the mirror you spew that bullshit in front of. Shout out to Danze and Fizzy. I’m making music and that’s pretty much what it’s all about. It’s the first leak off the album and hopefully the whole album doesn’t leak because then I’d make less money.  One thing I didn’t capitalize on last time was web promo when I dropped Pick Your Poison: The Mark of the East. Now, I got five videos ready to go. We did have a successful journal on HipHopGame but I didn’t have any other online presence. I get a lot of support at shows and people come out but I didn’t have a huge, huge internet presence. Now we’re working on building that up so I can maintain visibility with whatever I do. It’s early on but so far, so good. We’re doing a listening session for the press and everybody has to come out. Good looking out to The Source and XXL for spreading the word on Pen.  The Brooklyn Hip-Hop Festival is coming up in New York. I was actually trying to go for a spot to host the second stage and I had stepped to the main dude behind the scenes, Wes, about hosting because you know, I’m a known figure in Brooklyn and I do have a project coming out. I figured that it would be a good look to host, being that’s what I’m known for besides the music. he gave me the whole industry “holla at me” and I figured that being a nigga from Nostrand he would keep it 100 with me. How foolish of me. Industry dudes being true to form, he wouldn’t return my manager’s calls even though he said he had a discussion about the gig. After an insane amount of emails he finally hits my manager with a one sentence email about going with Homeboy Sandman for the hosting slot. That’s cool. I’m actually a fan of Sandman.  Check him at the Nuyorican Poet’s Café “All That” series. The AOK Collective is on the come up heavy. My thing is, if the homie was your choice from jump, keep it 100 like someone from N.A. should. Don’t act like you’re considering me. That’s some real sucker shit. But go and support Sandman and Torae. He’s gonna be performing and all the Boot Camp niggas. Support Brooklyn hip hop regardless. Keep in mind I’m not an industry dude. I’m a real dude.  The borough needs something of this magnitude.  Shouts to Mr Beatz & The Sleepwalkas.  They should be able to rock too.  We will see how it goes.  I’ll be in Toronto at NXNW.  I always have a backup plan!  I got a few videos done. I got one done called “Face Breaker” with Swave Sevah. Everyone knows I dabble in wrestling. We did a video at a wrestling event with Butterbean and I actually got in the ring and took a few bumps for the video. Special thanks to Eric Tapout, Urban Legends, Balls Mahoney, Knowledge, Kevin Chung, Chunk & E.O.Doug.  Hopefully you’ll see it and like it. We just did a the Soundset show with the whole Rhymesayers squad, Freeway, Jake One, One Be Lo and the Cunninlynguists were there also. That was a real fun event. Shout out to Mr Peter Parker. We might do a mixtape together. I told myself I wouldn’t do mixtapes anymore. I might have to do a WeGoinIN.com mixtape too for 730 even though I’ll be making fun of him the whole time. I might also be planning his honeymoon.  Pumpkinhead changed his name to PH because I destroyed him so bad in my column here. Actually I have to give him credit for battling Dizaster from the Fresh Coast. He flew out to The Town (Oakland, Ca if you didn’t know) alone, took the win and rocked a show by himself. Give My g credit for that! He’s my dude and he’s recording his album right now. I’m going to jump on on the project and give him some herbs and spices if the budget’s right. I might write for him because he has trouble rhyming “nigga” with “trigga” and “bigger” some time. WeGoinIN.com. We goin’ in.  To be honest I haven’t even been following blogs. I followed the major sites and I didn’t know about none of these blogs until a couple months ago. I didn’t even know they existed. I give some of them respect because they actually reached out to me on some respect, like Kevin Nottingham. Shout out to him. Shout out to 2DopeBoyz.com. It’s funny because the blog site supports me but they’re a part of OkayPlayer and everybody at OkayPlayer.com hates me for some reason. Maybe because Questlove hasn’t cosigned me or all my beats don’t sound the same. It’s funny. But I’m not a blog expert yet so I can’t weed out what’s what yet because when you see one of them most of the others just follow what they do. The small blogs follow the larger ones. Whatever. This Italian bread is immaculate, son.  And let me go on record and say this. I think Twitter is the dumbest shit ever. But as an artist that has to promote things and keep people updated, like nowadays artists have to be more personal with their fans and before you didn’t have to. Now all these social networks let you keep in contact with the people who support you and it’s personal but it’s not too personal. It’s cool. That means a lot to these kids. It means a lot. I have a lot of followers already and I don’t request nobody on that shit unless I know them. The fact that I just signed on and people want to know what I’m doing, that’s kind of ill. But it’s also kind of creepy, dog. I’m not telling you where the fuck I’m at all the time. I don’t need people tracking me down on GPS or that you took your pet to the vet. I don’t need to hear everything in your life. If I didn’t do music I would not have a Twitter page, straight up. Why do I need people to intrude that much on what I do? If you know me, call me. I would have absolutely no need for this shit. But the shit is entertaining.  I can crack a joke on some of my colleagues. The fans see that and it’s cool. Watching Alchemist & NORE go back and forth is classic.  But people put their personal life on their and it’s crazy. Someone in New Zealand knows what you’re doing on your block and you don’t think the police read your fucking Twitters? “I’m about to roll this weed.” “I’m about to fuck this bitch.” “I’m about to pull a jux on 93rd & Rutland.” Twitter is the ultimate way to fuck yourself and snitch on yourself. It says in the intro, “What are you doing?” A dude’s crib got robbed because of Twitter. The fucking idiot went on Twitter and was saying he was going on vacation and people knew that he lived by himself. They broke in his crib and stole everything. You gotta think twice. You never know who’s watching you, dog. It’s 2009. You really gotta watch what the fuck you do and Twitter’s not helping.  With that out in the open, follow me @poisonpenBK.  What a fat hypocrite.    If you go to motherfucking White Castle, ask for a gallon of sweet tea. Put it in your freezer for 45 minutes, ‘til it gets real slushy. Throw some Henny, some lemons and a little scratch of Amaretto in that motherfucker. That’s that Poison Pen shit. In a minute!

[4] REACT TO POISON PEN'S JOURNAL ENTRY

4/8/2009: Poison Pen Journal Entry #43 It’s been a long time since I’ve expressed myself to the patrons, to the supporters of HipHopGame.com. I took a brief, or a long, I should say, hiatus. There are a few reasons I was laying low actually. For one, I’m not a journalist in the classic sense of the word “journalist.” People might call them “bloggers” or whatever you want to call it. I’m not that in the classic sense of the word. I just do this as an outlet. 730 came to me with the idea and I just used it as an outlet to talk to the people and express myself. The people who do hear my music, they hear a lot of tough talk. I like to have fun and sometimes it doesn’t always come across in the music and I wanted you to see a different side of me. The music is very real but everybody’s not running around like that all day. The rap shit is entertainment. Don’t get it twisted, I ain’t no sucker, but this shit is entertainment. This is just another side of who I am. Both sides of me are very real. The shit you hear in the music is very real and the more humorous side of the journal, that’s very real too.  Anyway, I was doing the journal and it was kind of taking away from me doing the music. I had dropped Pick Your Poison: Mark of the East on June 19, 2007 and it actually did well. It made me some paper and it took me halfway around the world and shit. It was cool. So when it was time for me to come back in and get cranking on the new project, I didn’t really have any time to write a journal. People were actually mad at me like all I did was sit around and think about things to put on HipHopGame.com. I have a life outside of that but at the same time I appreciate everybody who wanted to read it. I had other thins to do. I’m actually an MC. I’m not a journal writer. I’m an MC. I rhyme. I had to record an album. Motherfuckers pay you to rap and motherfuckers pay you to drop CDs.  I actually make bread doing this shit now, which is cool. I actually had to fall back and make music. I had to get in the lab with my boy Ariel, the Argentinean dwarf who I made very famous on this website. He owes me some ASCAP checks and some royalties for that. We were in the lab for seven or eight months doing some songs. I actually released a mixtape last fall for some performances and shows. I didn’t actually sell that shit online. I did a whole CD last year and then I got this new album that’s coming out in August. So that’s what I’ve been doing. I’ve been in the lab and I’ve been recording. Now it’s time to get this new album “The Money Shot” out there so I’m back to talking to everybody. I might try and do this video journal also. I got a new video camera courtesy of my brother Kevin Chung so I might bless y’all with that also.  Since I've been gone I’ve recorded about 60 to 70 new songs and eight new videos. Y’all haven’t seen any of them yet. I’ve been on the road also. Since the last time I spoke to everybody, the recession thing has been happening so everybody’s attention has been on that and the shows don’t come as frequent as they have. Thank God I’m still a part of the few who get shows and still can pay rent. We all feel the pinch, so to speak. Ever since the recession motherfuckers have been falling back and doing other things.  Catastro from North Carolina hit me up telling me to tell them what to do about the recession. There’s a lot of hip-hop artists who do things outside of rap. You gotta pay bills and you gotta make an honest living. Do what you gotta do. There’s a lot of shit that motherfuckers do now that they wouldn’t have done last year. I know attorneys who don’t have jobs. I know attorneys who are tending bar. These dudes are fucking bartenders right now because they can’t get a job at a fucking law firm. That’s real. No disrespect to bartenders but how are you an attorney with a fucking degree and you’re tending bar? People are just doing what they gotta do to scrape by. It’s 2009 so people gotta do what they gotta do. A lot of people have just been getting their side hustle on to make ends meet. That’s basically that.  I’ve been chilling. I’ve been recording a lot of good stuff. The people that do follow me know that Pick Your Poison really was as strong as an album. In my opinion it was more like a mixtape album and there were four or five songs that were released prior to the release and that’s what they paid me for. The Money Shot is an album. It sounds totally different and it sounds a lot cleaner. I’m about my bread and I’ve expanded, so to speak, and not just in the gut region. The final master of the album has 16 tracks and five guest appearances. I didn’t want there to be a dude on every track but I got some strong guest appearances of people I fuck with.  People kept asking me for years when I was going to link up with Lil’ Fame and Billy Danze to do this M.O.P. record. I linked up with them and it might be the first single. It might get picked up in rotation, which would be cool. I never had a song played in rotation on Hot 97 and Power 105 and on mixshows. Shout out to Peter Rosenberg and Dr. Dre and all them. They play my shit but to have something in rotation is totally different. There’s a chance I might be in light rotation. I’m not a major fucking celebrity but that’s all I’ve been concentrating on – making this music and making sure that it’s a good summer for everybody out there.  A few of my colleagues are dropping CDs also. Torae is dropping his CD in early June and Pumpkinhead is working on his album with Illmind. Silkk the Shocker is working on his album. Chino XL is working on The Ricanstruction and The Secret. These are all people I rock with. They’re all trying to keep roofs over their heads in the recession. A lot of bullshit has been going down but I haven’t been paying attention to none of it.  I’ve also been going to the gym. I’ve been getting my cardio on. I’ve been getting my weight training on and all that, you know? I lost a little weight since some of y’all seen me. I’m still a fat motherfucker. Don’t get it twisted. It’s not the best diet when you wake up to a two liter of Mountain Dew in the morning. I’ve been working. I gotta head back. The last few weeks I’ve been in the studio every day, getting everything taken care of as far as this CD. I’ve been in the gym though. Lil Cease is supposed to get up with me in the gym and film me looking like a fool for the world to see. I’m not totally sold on that idea yet.  Shout out to my man Juan Diesel. He’s a professional bodybuilder and he’s been training me. I think by the summertime I should be pretty insane. That’s only if I follow this diet. It’s hard, man. It takes a lot of discipline. That shit takes more discipline than a little bit. I didn’t realize that and it’s been a difficult task but when you get older you want to be able to look down and see your dick when you’re pissing and all that and not have your heart fall out your fucking mouth when you cough, you need to get to the gym a little bit. I go to the gym and I see a lot of these niggas looking like I don’t know what. They don’t look human and shit. I don’t know if that’s all exercise. I see them drinking a lot of shakes and I don’t know what’s in them. But I’ve been in the gym and staying to myself and doing a lot of cardio. My man Iron Solomon is in the gym too and we give each other a little inspiration. I’m just trying to turn my life around and do something cool. Yep.  And we’re going to get back up on the road and shit and have some fun in these troubled times. I’m trying to entertain people. A lot of things are going on. Wrestlemania just passed. I was going to go out there but I couldn’t fly like I did last year. I know wrestling is fake but I don’t care. It’s like rap. Wrestling is probably more real than rap. Trust me. A lot of these niggas is fraudulent. Just look at Worldstar. Word up.  And don’t ask. I don’t got no more cool drunk stories. I think my tolerance is too high and I ain’t been drinking too much due to my diet or whatever you want to call it. My man put me on a strict diet but I kind of unstricted it, if that’s a word. So I ain’t been drinking as much but I don’t got no drunk stories. I told y’all last year that I was going to fall back from all that. Y’all didn’t believe me? I did. I still get popping. Don’t get it twisted. I still get it popping. It’s just not what it is.  How is The Heartbreak Kid Sean Michaels 50 years-old? I don’t know no kid that’s 50 unless it’s the Tortoise Kid. He’s got hair plugs and all that. There’s nothing wrong with being an older person in entertainment but I do have a problem when older motherfuckers try so hard to be cool to the younger generation. If you’re an O.G., be an O.G. Don’t try to act like you’re 17. I set trends, I don’t follow trends.  I was in Manhattan all day and I’m a heterosexual male, as the majority of my fans are. And if you’re gay, whatever, we crack gay jokes but it’s cool. I don’t give a fuck. I ain’t rocking with you on a personal level but that shit don’t really bother me. I’m cool with that, man. But you know, at the same time, hip-hop is kind of homophobic. I’ll admit that. I tend to say shit in my rhymes. It’s just funny when I see guys that swear they are straight but their whole wardrobe, they don’t understand that their whole wardrobe is based off what homosexuals do. I literally saw these kids, I was walking on Broadway in Manhattan, I saw these four acting real tough. They walked past me and shit and they were like wearing the straight up leggings, yo. Them shits wasn’t even jeans or pants. Them shits was man’s leggings. All they needed was them big socks over them shits. Niggas could’ve tried out for the Broadway revival of “Footloose” with them things on. On the real, if the motherfucker would have farted he would have blew the whole back out his jeans. They were that tight.   Now don’t get me wrong. Just because you wear tight pants don’t mean you’re gay, but it’s not the most heterosexual thing to do. Maybe I’m just mad because I’m fat and I’m a hater. Fuck it. Call me a hater. It’s not ’96 and you can’t wear pants 5 times bigger than your actual size. That wasn’t that cool either but I was young and I did that. Back to the motherfucking story. The kid was walking down the street and fuck the fact that he had some tight-ass pants on and was posted up. He had some Louis Vouitton slip-ons on as well, looking like slippers. I actually thought those were kind of decent, but that’s beside the point. He was strolling down Broadway while wearing leggings and Louis Vitton slip-ons. The worst part was this. The man actually had the little change purse in his hands and was holding it out so everybody could see that it matched his shoes. The dude literally had a purse! He was out there talking tough and acting with all that male bravado but he had on slip-ons, leggings and a purse. I’m not lying like he had a purse. He had the shit that my sister has. He was walking so everybody could see it. It’s worse than the whole duffle bag shit. That’s not a duffle bag, that’s a pocketbook, son. I go to the gym and I know what a duffle bag is. That’s a purse. Call it what it is. You have a pocketbook. Whatever, man. Maybe I’m getting too grown. I don’t know, man. You don’t have to wear pants four sizes too big. That’s not cool. But when you and your girl are wearing the same jeans, fuck it. You could be the same size as your girl, but when you’re wearing the same clothing, that’s a problem. Maybe I’m crazy. I’m not going to rant no more, just realize where your style came from and don’t act like you’re tough when your clothes are tighter than my sister’s. Don’t do that. Stop it.  But I’m back. I’ll have more journals for you in the future. Maybe I’ll write one when I’m stuck on the A train shuttle bus. That shit takes an hour to get to Utica Ave when it should take only 15 minutes. Follow my rants and ramblings on http://twitter.com/poisonpenbk  The original journal is back! I made this shit cool. Fresh Daily told me this, so it must be gospel.

[12] REACT TO POISON PEN'S JOURNAL ENTRY

11/18/2008: Poison Pen Journal Entry #42 Whatup, readers, this is Pen's manager, Azar, the Pocket Size Pimp (a moniker the big guy gave me). I called Pen this morning and asked him where his journal was on HipHopGame. He gave me some lousy excuse (as usual) about how he's busy making music so he can write about it. So I decided I'd do what any good manager would do and write it for him. First, let me preface this by saying, I'm not as funny as Pen so expect a little less humor (I do get it in with the fat jokes though) and a lot more facts.   A lot has happened since your boy's last journal in 2007!!!!!!! He has a new deal with Gold Dust Media, so expect a bangin' new album (The Money Shot) in 2009. He's been busy recording with the likes of Prodigy, DJ Muggs, M.O.P., Gillie Da Kid and Silkk the Shocker. Yes, Silkk the Shocker. He's been touring the U.S. and even crossing over to Bogota Columbia briefly where they were swarmed with fans. Columbia loves the fat man :)  A lot more has changed since his last blog. The world is a different place and I know Pen was feeling lovely on November 4th. I called him right after Barack Obama was announced President Elect! Pen was on the street in Brooklyn after hearing the chaos from his crib. He sounded drunk (as usual) LOL. It was a good time. Sadly, the night before, Pen lost a good friend and fellow MC, Jax of Binkis Recs. It was a painful loss for all of us. RIP Jax!!   So that's about it, I'm sure Pen has a lot more to say and maybe this post will motivate him to come back with some short jokes.   :) Azar

[18] REACT TO POISON PEN'S JOURNAL ENTRY

12/14/2007: Poison Pen Journal Entry #41 Yeah, man. It’s been a long time and shit, man. I was handling a lot of business. I took a brief hiatus from the journaling game. It was a silent boycott. I was a little salty over the HipHopGame politics and the head man playing me funny-style like my video wasn’t worth a mention on the main page when J-Hood calling Jadakiss “Jadapiss” is worth a headline. It’s bugged when someone who puts in work for the site doesn’t get the look. That’s not the reason I fell back but it didn’t help. I just thought it was corny how I couldn’t get a mention when other sites who I don’t even have an affiliation with throw my shit up on the main page no questions asked. I didn’t feel that at all. I know this ain’t the street and all that, but I’m a loyal dude. When another website approached me about doing something, I approached 730 and I decided not to do it, but when the favor can’t be returned and I couldn’t get the video up, I thought that was real ass, so fuck that. And I’m saying it in a journal on the site. WHAT? I’m here, I’m back. Whatever. I’m chilling. I had a real busy time of the year. The springtime is always busy for us. We’re going to head out West because that’s pretty much the only spot where independent hip-hop is thriving, so we’re hitting up California, Denver, Portland and a lot of other things. We’re doing ballrooms and all that. I’m bringing my group Da Circle and J-Arch out there so that should be dope. A lot of people have been asking us to come out and I’m just looking forward to going out West and rocking for the people. I’ve never been out to Portland before and I’m excited about that. That’s what’s going on. Here’s the tour information: 03/07/2008 07:00 PM - Belly Up Tavern 143 S Cedros Ave. Solano Beach, California 92075   Cost:$18 adv/$20 ga Description:Immortal Technique, Poison Pen, DJ Gi Joe, Da Circle & J Arch 03/08/2008 08:00 PM - oasis Locations 940 S. Hill Street Los Angeles, California   Cost:$25 adv $30 ga Description:Immortal Technique, Poison Pen, DJ GI Joe, Da Circle & J Arch 03/09/2008 07:00 PM - The Filmore 1805 Geary San Francisco, California 94115 Cost:$20 all Description:Immortal Technique, Poison Pen, DJ GI Joe, Da Circle & J Arch 03/12/2008 08:00 PM - neumos 925 East Pike Road Seattle, Washington 98122   Cost:$15 adv - $18 ga Description:Immortal Technique, Poison Pen, DJ GI Joe, Da Circle & J Arch 03/13/2008 08:00 PM - Wonder Ballroom 128 NE Russell Portland, Oregon 97212   Cost:$15 adv - $18 ga Description:Immortal Technique, Poison Pen, DJ GI Joe, Da Circle & J Arch 03/14/2008 08:00 PM - Cervantes Masterpiece Ballroom 2637 Welton St Denver, Colorado 80205   Cost:$18 adv/ $20 ga Description:Immortal Technique, Poison Pen, DJ GI Joe, Da Circle & J Arch 03/15/2008 08:00 PM - Belly Up 450 South Galena Street Aspen, Colorado 81611   Cost:$27 adv - $30 ga Description:Immortal Technique, Poison Pen, DJ GI Joe, Da Circle & J Arch March, 16 2008 at Fox Theatre 1135 13th street, Boulder, Colorado 80302 Cost : $20.00 ADV-GA/ $22.00 DOS-GA www.foxtheatre.com Doors/Show: 8:30 pm / 9 pm Tickets: $20.00 ADV-GA/ $22.00 DOS-GA W/ Poison Pen, The Circle, J Arch and DJ GI JOE I’m preparing a new video for “Fif N Da Morning” because as much BS is surrounding Pick Your Poison, it’s still selling and considering I had nothing behind it, I’m very happy. I more than tripled my paper off that and I’m just waiting on my checks. I’m putting this momentum into this new CD. I did the “Murdafest” video as a segue way between Pick Your Poison and The Money Shot but people are still buying Pick Your Poison and radio stations are still adding songs off Pick Your Poison. So we’re doing a video for that, whatever. The response is great and we’re having a great time. My birthday week just passed so I’m having a whole lot of fun. I’m drinking every day, trying to get back into knockout shape. That’s it. We’re on the road and we’re working very hard. Oh yeah, I’m back on my wrestling shit. I’m performing at wrestling matches now. I know what you’re thinking. I’m just a rapper! I’m not wrestling anyone. Umaga already took my spot. I’m doing a joint with some ECW dudes. I’m performing in the middle of the ring. I might take off my shirt and do the Kamala situation and get it popping. The Road to Wrestlemania is here, kid. I might have to do a HipHopGame journal live from Wrestlemania and do a little feature or something. But I’ve been staying real busy and I’ve just been having fun and making it happen. I went out to vote on Super Tuesday. I’m not going to spew any conspiracy shit out to anybody, but I did go out to vote at the Primary’s to make my voice heard. A lot of people tried to get me to vote. Fuck voting for Barack Obama just because he’s Black! I really don’t care what color he is. I might vote for him if he’s actually the democratic nominee, but it’s funny how a host of people are like, ‘You gotta vote for Barack.’ Why? ‘Because he’s Black!’ It’s like it’s my obligation and my duty as a Black person to vote for Barack Obama. Whatever. I’m not going to tell you who I voted for. Well, actually, when I went to vote my name wasn’t on the list so I wasn’t allowed to vote so I have to re-register. Whatever. I didn’t get to vote. I did go to vote but I wasn’t able to vote. Barack lost New York but he’s doing his numbers now. Hillary is getting molly-whupped out. It is ’08 and people should go out to vote. Register now and if you’re not sure, just register. You can’t double-register, so whatever. And don’t worry, I won’t come kill you if you don’t register like Puff Daddy. My shirt is going to say “Vote, you’re going to die anyway.” I can get a shirt that says, “Don’t vote, you’re going to die regardless.” Puff crept into people’s windows who didn’t vote. He might have been waiting outside my apartment because I didn’t vote. I’m going to be back at the Slauson swap meet, posted up as I always am. We’ll be in San Jose, Watts, Compton and everywhere else. Please come out and support us and rock with us. Did you see Floyd Mayweather come out and punch Big Show in the face? Yo, Floyd Mayweather came out on WWE. He made his triumphant return and Big Show picked a fight. Son’s like, 7’0” and he said to Floyd, “Let’s go” and Floyd really punched him in the face. You can watch it on tape. He really rocked his shit. I don’t know if they’re trying to hype Wrestlemania but I’m good. Anyone in Orlando that needs a fat slob on their couch for Wrestlemania Weekend, holla at me. I won’t make much noise. You might hear me rummaging through your fridge or something or sifting through your porn collection, but other than that, I won’t bother nobody. You might find some used condoms in cereal boxes, but I won’t bother nobody. Anyone wants a fat roommate for Wrestlemania Weekend, holla at me. I’ll pay. I’ll give you a Bed Stuy Best Buy shirt, burn you a copy of the album and give you some In N Out coupons, courtesy of Toast. That’s what it is. Are school shootings becoming a trend? That’s a little unsettling. What’s going on? I could stay on the block to get that. Shout outs to DJ Self. I was on Sirius with VIP Satellite. That was a good look. They got 3 million records. They got to hear my ignorance on the air and we got drunk and I spit a few verses. In San Jose, we’re going to be doing a live interview on March 9. We’re going to be out there then. I forget the radio station, but we’re doing that. That’s about it, son. I’m just staying busy. Smoothe Da Hustler’s got a new project. He inspired me with his metaphors and his level of lyricism and the way he breathed Brooklyn. He was Brooklyn all the way. I looked up to that dude. Show and A.G. have to be 40 years-old but I heard their new CD and it was really pretty dope. That shit sounded kind of hot. Most of the shit I’ve been hearing has been trash but that sounded really good. Are you surprised by 50 Cent allegedly being on steroids? I think the feds getting involved is totally unnecessary. If they were smuggling or distributing it, then get involved. I’m not advocating it, but they’re doing it to themselves. When people do coke, they don’t broadcast their names and that shit is way more powerful. I don’t give a fuck who is doing steroids. The only name I was surprised at was Mary J. Blige. Mary J. Blige is doing steroids? I don’t care who’s doing steroids. That shit ain’t got nothing to do with me. It’s like a public outing when they find someone who did steroids. Professional sports is one thing. That’s a different story. But if you want to take that shit to look more sexy and get cut up and get muscles, I don’t care. I wouldn’t do that. Prednisone is a certain steroid for people with asthma. You gain weight when you take them. You have to take less and less each day until you’re off of them, but if motherfuckers want to do them, I don’t give a fuck. Timbaland’s on steroids. Are you surprised? The motherfucker was fat, then he was skinny, then he was diesel. His body is changing more than a bulimic. Females get implants and fake eyelashes and fake teeth and now motherfuckers are getting fake asses. People are getting old and they want to look good. Don’t get it twisted, I wouldn’t do it, but I don’t think you have to sit there and point fingers. Almost no one out here is 100% natural. I’m back! Stop fronting on me! Word.

[16] REACT TO POISON PEN'S JOURNAL ENTRY

12/14/2007: Poison Pen Journal Entry #40 I’m actually waiting on the soul food spot to deliver my food, but they’re late as usual. They’re going to make me give my money to the other man. I call them back and they don’t answer the phone. It’s fucking ridiculous. I’ve been waiting for about an hour and they’re still not there yet. When you call the black shops, you have to anticipate. If I called the pizza spot, it would have been here in 10 minutes.  But yeah, man, it’s been a hectic week and it’s been a while since we did the journal. I went out on the road and everything. That was an interesting trip, to say the least. It was supposed to be a tour but there were a whole lot of hang-ups and difficulties and shit. Shout out to the people who did come out in Minneapolis and Walker, MN, Baltimore, DC and Delaware. The show out in Minneapolis ended up with a near brawl with a bunch of girls. Diabolic decided to get gully and hurl a bottle at some chicks (they deserved it though) and they wanted to get physical after the show. We had to fend those bitches off while security did nothing. Great job, security. It was a great trip. The next day we go to go rock out in this casino in the woods in Walker, Minnesota.  They said if I wandered out too deep in the forest Sasquatch would make me his bitch. Needless to say, I didn’t go outside much. I’m from the ‘hood, not from the woods. The highlight of Minnesota was me winning $70 at the blackjack table and rocking for the people. We rocked out there and we still dealt with the bullshit. We almost missed the plane flying to DC. We flew back to the east side and we attempted to do a show and even got onstage to perform, but the promoter who promoted the show, he must have had his head up his ass because the club got double-booked. It was like an open-mic situation and there were bunch of people rapping. I didn’t get that. We went out there for no reason. I watched 40 people perform and they all sounded like Young Jeezy. Everybody had the same hooks with the slowed-down shit and everybody was jumping around onstage. One of these dude’s hooks was “Rape a stripper. Rape a stripper. Rape a stripper.” That was something I never expected to hear in hip-hop, a song advocating rape. Me, Hasan Salaam and Diabolic went out there to chill. It was a pretty uneventful tour, but we got paid so at the end of the day, it is what it is. I’ve been back home, back on my grind and getting it popping.  We finished the video for the “Murdafest” shit with me and Nems.  It’s holiday time. We’re getting ready for the family and all that shit. I’m getting back on this music shit and that’s pretty much it. A word to aspiring MCs – if you ever plan to go on the road, get the shit right and get a contract. Leave your asses covered. A lot of things didn’t go how they were planned, but people’s words were their words and we still got paid. It’s not all about the money with me, but I have to pay my rent and I appreciate that.  I went to the Jumpoff Battle and judged a few rounds of that. I won’t get into the politics and the missing battle tape situation here. It’s not worth my typing time or energy. Oh, my food’s here. Hold on.  You always have to check your food before they leave.  Back to the Jumpoff Battle. There were a few questionable calls made, but you can read about it on their site.  Shout out to Evel Kneivel. He taught me how to stunt!  Stronghold is doing the Secret Santa. Every year we put names in a hat and we give gifts according to that. Personally, I told some of my people what I wanted. I’m looking for a membership to Crunch. That’s what I’ll take, because personally, I need it. I’m trying to get chiseled for ’08. I’m trying to get in knockout shape. Anyone online that wants to send me donations to the PayPal account, you can send it because I’m trying to get chiseled for ’08. I’m trying to sexy up my image.  ’08 is going to be big. We got The Money Shot. I got a lot of filming to do. It’s bad enough that the camera adds enough pounds as it is. I figure if I can drop some weight, I’ll look like I do now. These motherfuckers need to donate to the PayPal. Times are hard on the boulevard right now. Or get me a buddy pass. I don’t care what gym it is. I need to go. That’s the first step, admitting that you have a problem. I’ve admitted it. But I don’t have no cholesterol or high blood pressure so I’m straight.  I’m going to get Diabolic some anger management classes for Christmas and I’m getting Immortal Technique some driving lessons. Actually, I need some myself. I’m too old to not have a driver’s license even though I live in Brooklyn. I travel all the time and I’m hardly ever in Brooklyn.  My two goals for ’08 are to get a license and hit the gym.  This is some good food.  Diabolic really threw a bottle at a chick. In all fairness, they did start it and there were a bunch of them. What happened, happened. We’re still here today. No big deal. I have so much to talk about and I can’t incriminate anybody in the journal.  I haven’t seen Ariel since he went on his honeymoon. Ironically, we saw each other at the airport. I was flying to San Jose and he was flying to Oakland. We hung out in the airport and that was the last time I saw this dude. I’m pretty sure he has to mix my songs that I recorded a year ago. He’s too busy trying to win the Scott Storch Lookalike Contest instead of mixing my music. He’s pretty close to winning it. He looks 5% cooler than Scott Storch. That’s not saying much though. That’s like being 10% cooler than Michael Jackson. Scott Storch looks cool because he got gwop. They’re like, ‘Yeah, that’s dope! He’s filthy-rich and he has beats.’  I’m going to start getting healthy in ’08 so I’m going to spend the rest of ’07 being a fat slob. I’m going to sleep, wake up, eat again. I’ll probably eat while I’m sleeping and make it happen. I’m going to make sure ’08 is a busy year. I’m going to chill. I got two sessions coming up at the end of the year and I’m going to lay low.  I was also sick for Thanksgiving. I’ve had a real bad week or two, but hey. Oh, I did jury duty a few days ago. That was fun. Being that I’m a registered voter in the county of Brooklyn in the state of New York, it’s my duty as an American without a felony to stay in the court for six hours, watching Fear Of A Black Hat on my iPod and waiting for them to call my name. That’s all you do and they pay for it. I got to sit for six hours doing nothing and they paid me $40. Brooklyn has wild criminals! The clerk asked if anyone had a felony and half the room got up. I felt left out. Then they asked who didn’t understand English. The other half got up. I don’t know how the folks understood the question, but hey. The state tries to take action if you don’t go to jury duty and then you go there and you don’t do shit. It’s only my second time doing jury duty, but whatever. I’m glad I got off after doing one day in King’s County Supreme Court. http://myspace.com/poisonpen

[12] REACT TO POISON PEN'S JOURNAL ENTRY

11/8/2007: Poison Pen Journal Entry #39 Before I start, I'd like to apologize to the people that came out to the CMJ show at the Bowery Poetry Club a few weeks back.  I was scheduled to perform, & due to *ahem* circumstances beyond my control, performing wasn't an option.  I owe the people a show.  I got some dope pictures to send from Ariel’s wedding. That’s gotta go up here. The wedding was dope. Congratulations to my homie on that. It was a nice, traditional Jewish wedding. I didn’t have my yarmulke, but it was all good. It was dope. I got some footage. I was going to put it up on YouTube, but I figured he might try to sue me. It was cool. It was cool for me to see the homie take that step with his wife. They’ve been together for a long time. Way, way, way before I even knew him. So congratulations to the homie.   The "Stoopid/ Bed Stuy" video is out now. I know it’s going to get out there because it’s a dope video. It’s got a story that goes with the song. It’s not just a bunch of motherfuckers looking mad. Why didn’t we look mad? I’m not the typical angry rapper. I smile. When people step to me on the street, I smile. I got nice teeth. Them shits are straight. I never had to put braces on. Fuck it. I’m not showing my teeth in a coon-type fashion. I’m just showing my teeth in a jovial-type fashion.  The hood video for "Poison Murdafest" featuring me & Nems will be out in about a month.  Shouts to O'Dwyer projects & Surf & 33rd.  You'll find all the typical Brooklyn hoodlumities (is that a word?) in that video.  But back to the subject. Ariel’s wedding was cool. It was a nice day. The sun was out in the woods and shit. It was a real dope event. At the reception Ariel and the Mrs.walked out to “Lodi Dodi,” which I thought was real cool. It was a Jewish hip-hop wedding. MC Serch would have been proud. And did Ariel luring us all out to the woods worry any of us? Being that he was getting married, it didn’t really register. Maybe if I was drunk, it would have raised a flag.   It’s been a good few weeks. I got invited to see Jay-Z perform at the VH1 Storytellers taping. They gave us real good seats. We were 4 rows away from dude. I’ve spoken to Jay on a few occasions, but it’s not like that’s my man and I know him like that. But we’re both from the same neighborhood and I spoke to him when I was a little dude. I’ve spoken to him quite a few times. I got to be a fan instead of a fake industry motherfucker. I got to see somebody rock who’s albums I’ve purchased and is from my neighborhood. It was dope. I watched a bootleg American Gangster afterwards. It was a wonderful thing.  Honestly, I haven’t had a chance to soak in the new music to give you my full opinion on it. Seeing son performing live with the band made that shit sound insane, so I might have a biased opinion. The last few projects, I didn’t really trip off of. I didn’t trip off of Kingdom Come and I didn’t really trip off The Black Album. people thought I was crazy for not tripping off that. I could never say Jay is garbage, but at the same time, I wasn’t running to the record store when Kingdom Come came out. It wasn’t that “next-next-next” shit that made me want to wild out in the club. Maybe I’m just used to waiting for that retro Jay and when he came with the adult contemporary rap, I didn’t know what to do. This album isn’t really about singles. It’s really more about a piece. The only single is really “Blue Magic.” Everything else really flows into each other. It kind of tells a story without telling a story. I can appreciate that, especially in a world of ringtone rap and all these “here today, gone tomorrow” motherfuckers. Name five MCs from this year. I bet you won’t see any of them next year. None of those motherfuckers will be back next year. At least a dude like that has staying power. If nothing else, I respect that. That was cool that I got to witness it. I appreciate that on some fan shit. I remember when I paid to go to a Jay-Z show and I was sitting in the mezzanine and he looked like an ant. Now I go this show and I’m cracking jokes back and forth with the motherfucker. It was ill. One day I’ll be at a Jay-Z show and the next day I’ll be at a Little Brother show and the next day I’ll be at an open mic. I’m everywhere all the time.  I’m almost done with this Money Shot shit. I’m almost done with this shit. I secured a few features on there that people have never heard before. I’m back on my grizzly, son. I took a little brief hiatus.  Ras Kass is free, finally. Why would these people hold him if they had no plans to put his music out? That’s vindictive. That’s the biggest “fuck you” response of all time. What do you have to lose by letting me go when you don’t even want to do anything with me anyway? These motherfuckers are so selfish. They would rather not have him go somewhere else and blow up and make them look like idiots. That dude is one of the most talented lyricists out and I’m glad that he’s out of his situation. He’s getting back in the forefront in some way, shape or form. Hopefully that shit will translate into dollars. Hopefully people will talk about son again. Congratulations.  No comment on the T.I. shit. There is so much more behind what’s going on. There’s always stories behind stories. I don’t think dude, even if he was guilty, a lot of times I find it hard to believe what the media tells me is going on. It’s hard to believe what goes on. I’m not saying son is innocent or guilty, but son could not have been that lacks to go out and wild out like that. It just doesn’t make sense. He’s at the status where he can have people that do that for him. I just don’t think it adds up. He’s going to meet somebody in a parking lot to get machine guns and silencers. I’m not a part of that situation. I just hope it works out. If he’s guilty, he’s finished. He’s a seven-time felon. Well thats what he said in "Rubberband Man"  Let’s just hope son’s money is long enough. If there’s one thing I learned in this world of entertainment, the longer your money is, the more innocent you are. If his money is long, he’ll be fine. I don’t know. 12 guns and 5 silencers and all that…They even had the nerve to print his address. How are they going to violate dude like that? He probably thought he got punked again. I just hope dude is good. He has so much going for him. Even if son was doing that, there are so many levels of the game and you have to realize that there are certain things you can’t do anymore, not because you’re scared or you’re a sucker. You just can’t do that. You can’t just walk to the store and get milk anymore. It’s just not a possibility. It just doesn’t make sense. There are certain levels. Even if you used to fight your own battles, when you’re a person on that level, you get somebody to handle that for you. You just can’t do that shit anymore. You have to do your job and feed your family. A lot of that other shit is unnecessary. Give me half of what he has and I’m shaking everybody’s hands. I don’t want any problems. I’m buying an amusement park and all my cousins and brothers and sisters are going to play on one side and the adults are going to have picnics on the other side. There’s gonna be no fights. If we have problems, we’ll have water gun fights or laser tag. Give me half of what these guys have and you’ll never see me again. I’ll spit a verse at Benihana’s on Karaoke Night. You won’t see me on my block. What block? I’m going to buy me a block and name it after myself. That’s the block you’ll see me on all day.   The truth will come to light. I hope son is smarter than that. It could have been a set-up. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t. Who knows? I wasn’t there.  I’m about to open up a Paypal account so everybody can donate. My cable’s out. Check out my video to “Stoopid” and “Bed Stuy Best Buy” if you haven’t already. The album is still selling consistently, so I'm straight. I may do another video or two just to keep it out there so when my next project drops, it’s like I never went anywhere. http://myspace.com/poisonpen

[10] REACT TO POISON PEN'S JOURNAL ENTRY

10/11/2007: Poison Pen Journal Entry #38 What’s ‘hood? What’s going on? It’s been a little while since I’ve spoken to the people out here. I’ve been on a little hiatus. Basically a lot of personal shit has been going on. I got some things I don’t want to get into on the journal. You read the journal to be entertained, not to hear the side stories going on in my life. I’m glad to be breathing. Thank God. Let’s get it popping, man.   I’m finishing up The Money Shot album. I should have that done before the holidays start. I should have it done by then but you guys probably won’t get to hear it until March or April of 2008, but yeah, I’m still recording it. The response so far has been pretty positive to Pick Your Poison even though it’s a mixtape album. I’ve been getting reviews and most of them are positive. A lot of people understand where I’m coming from. That’s what it is.  I’m dropping the “Stoopid” video on HipHopGame. I can’t afford video promo. Do you know how many people I know died this month, son? It’s crazy. It’s fucking insane.  Anyway, the video is done. The video is circulating and Rest In Peace to Mark from R&R Video Promotions. Big shout out to my big brother Breez Evahflowin’.   Other than that, I’ve just been really, really determined to keep pushing forward and everything and stay focused on these future projects. I’m working on the label dates and all of that. Since I’ve come back from the West, I’ve really been sidetracked. I hit the lab and laid some things down. When you’re an adult you have to keep things moving. It’s all good. We’re just pushing on right now. Sorry this journal entry might not be as entertaining as others, but life happens sometimes. I’m back.   We did the birthday bash for my man J-Ronin out in Brooklyn. Tash from Tha Alkaholiks came out. It was cool to meet him. I’ve been a fan of his since I was in school. They’re one of the groups that made me want to rhyme. We got to perform together. Shout out to Killah Priest, Killa Sha and all of them.  I’ve been trying to take care of family and things of that nature. A whole lot of other shit has been going on lately. We have the Jena 6 situation. Black people staged walkouts for the Jena 6 brothers. A big Rest In Peace to the entire New York Mets and Yankees baseball seasons. Oh, man. That was horrible. Maybe next year. Whatever.  What do I think of LL and Jay-Z going back and forth? I think they’re two rich motherfuckers and need to worry about selling records. Whatever, man. Honestly, none of them has anything left to prove anymore. LL has been an icon forever and a lot of slack has been cut his way with his songs for his ladies and for not keeping it hardcore anymore. He’s 40 years-old. Both him and Jay are practically the same age. LL helped build Def Jam. He was the first solo superstar in hip-hop, period. What other solo rappers that came out before him can you think of that had that impact besides Kurtis Blow? I respect him but I can’t go to the store and buy a Kurtis Blow tape. LL was the first hip-hop superstar on the solo tip and he’s still doing it and he’s still relevant. The average 15 year-old knows who he is, the average 25 year-old knows who he is, the average 35 year-old knows who he is and the average 45 year-old knows who he is. He transcends hip-hop. I think it’s cool that they’re trying to throw jabs at each other, but is it really going to help him sell records? You’re beefing with the president of the label that puts your shit out. He’s like an employee with a fully-vested 401K. He doesn’t really need to keep the job but he wants to. He can talk shit to the boss and it doesn’t even matter. He saw the boss come up. All in all, Jay’s still the president of Def Jam. At the end of the day, he can put the kibosh on everything he does musically. He still wouldn’t be taking any food out of LL’s mouth. Whatever. It’s two rich, grown motherfuckers. I heard that they battled back in the ‘80s. I don’t know if it’s true or not, but I heard that they battled before in the street. I don’t know if it’s true or not. Whatever.  I didn’t even understand the excitement of Kanye and 50 going at each other due to the fact that they’re two different artists. They are two of the biggest figures in hip-hop right now, but as far as artistically, they’re nothing alike. The competition didn’t really make sense to me although I was surprised that Kanye had beaten 50 so decisively. I would have never expected it since 50 has been such a powerhouse over the last few years. I’m not discrediting Kanye West, but nobody has ever beaten 50 sales-wise before. I was shocked. Kanye’s sales have never matched 50’s sales before. We’ll see what 50 comes out with next. I think 50’s got some tricks up his sleeve. He’s too calculated and he’s too smart. He’s not going to just fall by the wayside. But you can look at his numbers and see that sales aren’t what they used to be. Nobody’s buying records anymore. Everybody’s downloading. Nobody wants to go buy CDs anymore, man.  Speaking of CDs, my boy Dave goes into Best Buys every week and takes my CDs out of the Immortal Technique section and puts it in the Poison Pen section. He’s probably got some people fired already. Every week he does this shit. On Saturdays he goes to the Best Buy and moves the Poison Pen CDs into the “P” section. I don’t have my own divider but I can make some homemade ones and put them in myself.  Besides The Money Shot, I don’t know when you’ll hear some new material from me. I’m going through some adult shit. Rhyming is not high on my agenda or list of priorities right now. I’ll cut some shit soon but I haven’t really been writing as much.  Congratulations to Ariel and Julie. She puts up with you and your belligerent ghetto friends, myself included!  Check the “Stoopid” video. If you dig it, drop me a line, leave a comment on YouTube, whatever.  Check my man Rahiem Drinkwater’s newscast too: http://myspace.com/rdrinkwater. I promise you won’t regret it! If you hear a motherfucker that sounds like me, slap him and ask him where the fuck he got his damn rap from. http://myspace.com/poisonpen

[7] REACT TO POISON PEN'S JOURNAL ENTRY

8/31/2007: Poison Pen Journal Entry #37 What’s up? I’ve just been staying busy, man. What’s good to everybody out there? All the loyal readers and supporters, whatuptho? I’ve just been in the cut, working and shit. I’m headed back out on the road in a few days and everything.  I have to get The Money Shot submitted before October. I’m supposed to get it done by then. Let’s see if I can abide by a timetable. Lord knows I can do that, but let’s see if I’m built for this. I took a small hiatus from writing. I was so busy making sure that this shit went decent and everything that I hadn’t been writing. But I jumped up in the lab with Chaundon and we did a song for Chaundon’s project. He has a big show at SOB’s on September 5 with Sean Price, myself, Skyzoo and Torae. I might be forgetting somebody, but whatever. We’re getting ready to do that.   Labor Day in New York City is like none other. Everybody up here knows what it is. They shut down Flatbush Ave. I have to give a special shout out to all my Caribbean people out there, all my Haitians, all my Trinis…It’s a big weekend for y’all and I know it’s going to be incredible, but I’m not going to be out here. I have to go out of town to get that money. Mufuckas treat Labor Day like Christmas out here. It gets that crazy out here, but I have to pass on it this year to get that money.  That’s really it. I’m just lounging. I have a few more joints to work on. I have a Beatminerz track I’m working on and I have to get up with Scram Jones.   The “Bed Stuy Best Buy/Stoopid” video is ready. It’s bad enough that you have to pay people to service your record and you have to pay street teams to get the record out, flyer the place up and get posters up, and now when you get a video out, you have to pay people to do video promo. Everything costs money out here. I’m just getting the video promotion straight. I’m just trying to utilize my resources and everything. That’s what it’s about right now, getting the video out and getting the album done so that it can be out in ’08. Damn, it’s already almost 2008. People have short attention spans and I already hit them with one project and I have to stay on them now right quick. That’s what I’ve been concerned with right now as well as trying to maintain my 300 pound stature. I lost about two pounds, but that’s because I took a shit earlier, but it’s all good.  I haven’t really been eating any crepes lately. I’ve been on a Chipotle binge. I’ve been eating wild Chipotle burritos. I got one right here. I get the chicken joint with the rice, black beans and guacamole. You have to tell them to give you extra chicken because they will only give you a teaspoonful of chicken shavings in a $7 burrito. Get a Nantucket Nectar and you’re good money.  My man Mic Terror is getting married. We’re going to bring the whole squad down for that. I have to get my suit ready. I know a lot of you have only seen me in my t-shirts and jeans, but my suit game is very up-to-par. I’ll take a few flicks from there so you can see how we get down on some adult shit. But congratulations to my man Mic from Stronghold for getting married and DJ Static for celebrating his one-year anniversary.  But I’m just trying to get back in the lab so I can bang some of these joints out. I had to patch things up with Ariel. He didn’t like the things I said about him in the interview I did so he locked me out the studio until I apologized. Was it a sincere apology? Fuck no. It’s like when you’re 12 and you apologize so you can get some candy or something. It’s like talking to the girl in the classroom. You have to put your arms around her so she’ll forget you were passing letters to the other pimple faced girl across the room. The same things apply even though this is not a romantic situation.  I came back from California a few weeks back and my Soundscans actually went up 25% after I did the Rock the Bells situation. I shot back up it. I sold more records and it’s going good. It’s actually going good. I recouped and a lot of people don’t actually do that nowadays. As I said in my HipHopGame interview, it’s definitely a moderate success. It’s not crazy, but my feelings aren’t hurt in any way, shape or form. It just shows that a lot more can be done because a lot of people didn’t even honestly know that the album was out. Staying on the road is obviously a big factor and doing these big events definitely affects these sales. I did two huge Rock the Bells shows in New York and then I went out to Cali and did those. I’m not going to say that my sales went through the roof, but my sales jumped 20% and most sales are going down in hip-hop. For somebody to jump back up, that’s not normal but that was kind of cool. That’s what’s up. Somebody was paying attention. I’m just going to see what we can do with this album so that we don’t have any screw-ups. There’s always going to be a mishap somewhere and nobody is ever 100% on the same page as you are, especially when you’re the artist, but we’re going to see how it happens and get things placed the right way. I’m just hoping that no more relationships turn sour. I’m just about building and making it happen. I’m just trying to hold things down within my cipher. That’s the situation that I’m in right now. It’s decent. I’m far from a star and I ain’t paid yet, but I’m definitely all right.  My whole take on the Michael Vick thing, if that is what he did…Well, it is what he did because he pled guilty to it, but when you attain some status and you’re in the public eye, you have to have somebody in your corner tell you that that is not the thing to do. Not to pull the race card, but if you’re a black man, you’re already under the microscope. A lot of people aren’t happy with what you’re getting because of your talent. Some people are, but some people aren’t. A lot of people don’t even look at us as being equal. But when you’re making $130 million over ten years, you’re not a regular dude anymore. There are certain things that you can’t do, even if you have done it before. When you get to a certain level, you are now public property and everything that you do that’s wrong or deemed inappropriate, you’re going to get ripped apart and you’re going to be put through the ringer. If it was Michael Vick the Factory Worker getting arrested for fighting dogs, that shit wouldn’t have made the news. And honestly, this shit has nothing to do with football so I don’t understand why they’re trying to take his bonuses back.  My personal opinion, dog fighting is cruel. If the dogs don’t fight well, you kill them. I don’t see how that’s a sport. I also don’t see how hunting is a sport and I don’t see motherfuckers getting arrested for hunting. You turn on ESPN and you have these motherfuckers laying in the bushes, waiting for a deer to walk by so they can shoot it. That’s not a sport. That’s fucked up. Laying in the bushes waiting for an animal to kill it, that’s just as fucked up to me. At least the dogs had a chance to fend off the other dog so one of them could live. But what they’re doing is they’re running Vick through the mill and there are just as many other things in the world that are cruel that are viewed as a sport. Catching a fish with a hook and then throwing it back in the water is not humane, dog. Killing animals for anything other than nourishment is cruel. If you’re going to crack down on Vick, then you need to crack down on all of these motherfuckers because what they’re doing isn’t right either. I’m far from an angel and I’m far from a Bible-thumper, but the First Commandment is “Thou shall not kill.” Does that only apply to people? I’m pretty sure that if God is paying attention, He’s not like, “All right, well, shooting that deer in the head and hanging him on your wall, that’s cool.” I’m pretty sure he’s not saying that. Michael Vick’s career may have been cut short, but it was due to his own actions. It is what it is. I just hope that they don’t try to run him through the ringer for the rest of his life. He did it, he’ll serve time and it’s whatever.  It’s just something to throw in the public’s eye. Whatever, man. I don’t even know if he has any remorse. What went down is serious but it’s not that high on my radar. There are a lot of other more important things in this world than Michael Vick fighting dogs. He might not be the only player involved, but at least he’s keeping his mouth shut and he’s being a stand-up dude, but whatever.  We have senators attempting to jack off and sword fight other dudes in airport bathrooms. Why is the planet so enthralled with Michael Vick? Matter of fact, I’ma be at that airport in a few days. Guess I’ll be skipping the latrine over there. What’s popping with the unisex bathrooms though? That was the best part of going to that old club The Tunnel back in the day. That’s another journal entry though.   What else is good? Life’s good. Toast is good. Cap’n Crunch is good. Ava Divine is good. My video is good. My coach airplane seats aren’t good. Minneapolis-St Paul airport’s men’s restroom is not good. My dunks that get scuffed three hours into wearing them, that’s not good. Getting into a scuffle in VIP in the club when there’s nothing but ass around, that’s not good neither. I’m what’s good. Poison Pen is what’s good. That’s it. http://myspace.com/poisonpen

[11] REACT TO POISON PEN'S JOURNAL ENTRY

8/24/2007: Poison Pen Journal Entry #36 What’s going on? What’s cracking? What’s been good? Shit, man, I just came back from Cali again. We did the Rock the Bells event out in San Bernardino and Chula Vista. That’s near San Diego. And I did the QN5 Megashow with my brother Good Time Slim from Da Circle. I met a lot of supporters, sold a lot of records and introduced myself to a lot of people that might not have been familiar with the fatman. I’m feeling real lucky right now. Our business is straight with Spire Candidate so I don’t have to worry about twerps like DJ Phantom and shit. Shit, man, I’m just chilling.  I’m just flying back and forth and that has my body going like crazy because I don’t know what time it is no more. I keep looking at my watch and I’m on New York time but it’s funny when you wake up and you have to ask people what time it is and what city you’re in. A lot of people don’t understand that. When you’re traveling all of the time and you ask a gas station clerk where you’re at and what time it is, they look at you like you’re joking but I was serious. I didn’t know what time it was, what day it was or where I was. I didn’t know what time zone I was in. Bugged out, right?  We’re just getting this music out there. We had that tornado out in Brooklyn a little while back. That shit was tearing down buildings in Bay Ridge but not too many people were hurt. Now I’m back on my shit in BK, back in NYC and back on my regular shit. It was just cool doing what we do, man. Rock the Bells is an experience. There were like 60,000 people out there. So to be out there in a show of that magnitude, that shit meant a lot, especially rocking with a lot of the people that I look up to like the EPMDs and the Wu-Tangs. Those are brothers that I look up to. It was cool to be out there and perform with people of that caliber of legendary status. It was good to perform with Cypress Hill and Talib Kweli. I bumped into my fellow journal writers Strong Arm Steady. I didn’t get to speak to them like that but I nodded at them. I just won $2 on my win for life lotto ticket, so I broke even. I just won $2 in the lotto, kid!  But yeah. Shouts to Psycho Realm’s Jack. His album is coming out in September. Sick Jacken and Muggs have an album coming out. Shout out to them. They showed me mad love when I got out to California. It’s always good to have a crazy motherfucker on your team.    The San Bernardino show was crazy. I’ve never seen so many people at a hip hop event. I’ve been to Summer Jams and award shows and I’ve been to enough hip-hop shows to know that this is the biggest hip-hop crowd that I’ve ever seen, period. So that was just an experience. I have some footage of it. There was a tussle on Sunset Boulevard thanks to a wonderful friend of mine. I have the footage. But it’s whatever. I’m just back home. I’m chilling. I’m jetlagged and tired and that’s what’s up. The next time that anybody wants to book me, make sure that you put me in first class. I’m too fat for the coach seats. I’m back there and I half to wait an hour and a half for a shot glass of Coca Cola and they look at me like I asked for the square root of 56438857 when I ask for a whole can of soda. The flight cost $500! That’s the airlines for you. I have to find another way of traveling other than flying. Not because I’m scared of flying but because flying is not comfortable for a fat nigga such as myself. Soon as scientists make a safe harmless way to teleport, I’m all in!  I’m just looking over this contract and I’m back to recording my joints and getting it popping. It’s good to come back and get this reality check and see everybody with their jaded mentalities. That shit keeps you grounded because I ain’t no star. I’m just a regular dude who raps. I got bills that are already two weeks late. Now I’m back. That’s pretty much it, man.  The San Diego show wasn’t as crazy as the San Bernardino show, but it was decent regardless. It’s crazy when you do a show with 60,000 people and then the next day there’s 3 or 4,000 people. That shit makes a big difference, but it’s still cool and I’m still happy either way. But that’s that, man, you know?   The QN5 Megashow was successful. We went out to L.A. and performed and got busy! The Cunninlynguists, Pack FM, Tonedeff, Substantial and Session were out there. And I did the damn thing. I went out on stage and fell flat on my ass. It was cool. I’m too grown to get embarrassed. I rocked out with Session and got drunk. My publicist Echo held me down. Me and Session went out to the Saddle Ranch out on Sunset, just talking to people and having fun and shit. It was an interesting turn of events. We chilled out over there. Actually this journal entry doesn’t sound as fly as it should. This journal entry doesn’t sound that hot.   You know what’s wack? When you spend $20 in lottery tickets and only win $2. Hey, I won again. Now I have $4. Oh, shit, I won again. Now I have $6 and I only spent $20 to get it. I don’t play Mega Millions and shit like that. The chances are that you’ll never win those shits. I play these because you can win something like $1,000 every week for the rest of your life. You can chill off that. That’s about $52,000 a year minus taxes. That’s not riches, but as a supplemental income, if you still did your thing and had an extra $52,000 coming in off top, that’s pretty fucking dope, son. You can punch the clock and still do what you do and you still know that you have an extra $1,000 a week popping up in your pocket. That’s great. You can’t beat that with Barry Bonds’ corked bat. That’s why I play the New York Lotto. That’s what’s popping. I like to gamble. Cee-lo games got too violent so I had to retire my dice. I try to bust people’s hands in spades but I have to take it to the lotto. I’m fucking tired.  I got a good response from the list. I always tell people that if you have any requests for lists to hit me up on my MySpace. Hey, I won $2 more. I won $8. Hey, I won again. I won $10. I won $10 and spent $20. That’s success. Yeah, man, that’s what it is. Reminds me of the music biz.   I’m working on a video journal for HipHopGame so that people can see what I’m doing when I’m out chilling and so people can see what I’m doing when I’m out chilling and doing regular shit. You can catch me at the Slauson Supermall trying to haggle prices. One thing that’s different is that in New York, everybody haggles and everybody tries to bust the price down. I went to the swap meet in L.A. and they’re selling white tees and I walk up to the lady and I ask her how much it is for a white t-shirt. She says it’s $10. I ask how much it is for 10 t-shirts. Usually when you buy in bulk they bust it down. I have an addiction for Pro Club white t-shirts. They only seem to sell them on the West Coast. I’ve looked online. They do not sell them in New York, and I think buying t-shirts on eBay is just retarded. So I go to the store and I ask the lady how much for 10 shirts. I figured the shirts would be cheaper. She tells me it would be $66. So as I’m pulling out the $66, she tells me it’s $100. So we’re going back and forth, beefing about the price and shit. I guess her man comes in or whoever the dude was in conjunction with her at the booth, he comes out yelling at me, telling me that I’m too fat to get that price because my shirts take up too much material because they’re like blankets and shit. I end up arguing with the dude and he ends up busting the price down a little bit, not to $66, and then he has the nerve to want to take a picture with me with my camera. He got over. He’s lucky that I can’t get these shirts out in New York. The last time I was out at the Supermall was a year ago and they had the exact same Yankee jacket in the booth this time that was hanging there since last time. It was hanging there with mad dust on it since I was out there last year. I don’t think nobody wants a New York Yankees jacket out in Compton, but that’s just me.  So yeah, I was out there in the ‘hood, chopping it up. Shout out to my homie Demics for being hospitable as usual. That’s my brother right there. Shout out to the whole Albuquerque, Denver and Arizona. But yeah, man, that’s it. I’ll probably be back out in Cali next week. I have a few things that we need to take care of and we need to get this paper straight. I’m going to have to debut the “Bed Stuy Best Buy” video on the site in a couple weeks. That’s what’s popping, man. The record is still getting mixshow love. They’re still playing the joint. So we’re still moving with the record. It’s still moving and it’s still going well. I’m just working out this new situation. It’s looking real good for that so far. I’m excited. I’m just trying to stay consistent because now that I have a record out, it’s a whole different ballgame. I have to keep putting shit out because somebody else will take your spot real quick. You have to be on your pivot and let them know that you’re ready to go. I’m going to pivot hardbody and my defense is up to par. It ain’t shit to me, man. It ain’t nothing. We’re warriors and shit. That’s what’s popping. I’m tired. http://myspace.com/poisonpen

[5] REACT TO POISON PEN'S 36th JOURNAL ENTRY

8/9/2007: Poison Pen Journal Entry #35 I’m trying to eat and write at the same time. Let me pour some juice and let me get it popping. Word. Sorry, it’s hard to maintain my figure when I’m running around as busy as I am. But yeah, it’s been a minute. I’d like to start by saying, “Peace and Godspeed.” Whaddup, everybody? Everyone that caught me out in LA last week, it was a wonderful experience. Shout out to Percee P, Demics and Chief Icono. Love to the people that respect what we do. I’m back. I’m popping. I’m selling records. I’m selling more than a lot of your favorite underground rappers and that’s a wonderful thing. I’ve been chilling. I’ve been on these runs and I’m the only one pushing this project. My publicity company, Echoing Soundz, is keeping me real busy. I was out in Cali last week doing it up.  Of course I always have a story to tell. My flight got delayed seven hours and the motherfuckers didn’t have a room for me out there. Mind you, everything has already been paid for and I don’t have a room. So after enough bitching and moaning, they decided to put me up in the Grafton. That’s a hotel on the Sunset Strip. So they decided to put me up in the Grafton for free. That was a good look for me. A free hotel on the Sunset Strip when you’re out of town is always a good look. Everything is moving nice.   Shout out to Pete Rosenberg up at Hot97. They’ve been playing “Stoopid”. Shout out to Hot97. Shout out to Mitchy Slick. I saw him out there.  Then we came back out to NY to do the Rock the Bells situation. David Banner was supposed to be on the tour and he decided to drop out for reasons that will remain undisclosed right now. Thanks for leaving us with the trailer. That’s a real good look. But Rock the Bells was a real dope experience, especially doing it in New York City, even though my name wasn’t on the bill. We did “Peruvian Cocaine.” There were 30,000 people out there watching us. That’s the biggest show I’ve done in New York in my life. It was a dope show. Hip-hop was in full effect, but it was really a Rage Against the Machine show. You saw people there that you would never see at a hip-hop show, but we had a good time. I moved the CDs that I had. I sold out of everything that I had. I would have had way more material, but your man DJ Phantom was very unreliable, so I couldn’t capitalize on my movement like I should have. Thanks for coming through for me, duke. The professionalism is unparralelled. I still made money and spent time with the people. I stepped off stage and ran right through the crowd. Most people step off stage and go to their trailer. We’re not stars like that. We get our love by chilling with the people. That’s what we did.  Peace to Hell Razah and Timbo King. They requested that I put a picture with them in the journal. I didn’t even know that they read the journal. Shout out to Wu. I’ve known Hell Razah and Timbo King for awhile. That was real dope. To receive the love that we received from everybody was real cool.  Unfortunately Rock the Bells was the same time as Rocksteady. You know, I’ve always been supporting Rocksteady forever. 730 knows about that. I met 730 at a Rocksteady event. But I had to go where the money was. But shout out to Crazy Legs, Sab and everyone else. I’ll be back next year, most definitely. I went to the afterparty at BB Kings and I got up with Thirstin Howl.  I’m just staying real busy and recording new things. I recorded a heatrock with Chaundon for Chaundon’s project. Shout out to Chaundon. He has The Peter Parker Mixtape coming out. He has a big show coming up September 5 at SOB’s. We’re all performing up there. Skyzoo and everybody is going to be there. Everybody in New York that’s popping on the indie grind is performing up there. Shouts out to all of them.   I’m going back out to Cali this week. I have to go out to where it’s at. The California movement is very strong and they’re definitely about what we do. We’re doing the QN5 show out there. That’s on Friday, August 10. We’re doing the megashow out there and then I’ll be doing the Rock the Bells joint with Tech. That’s what’s up. I’ve been in the cut just making it happen. Shout out to Murs and Slug and Paid Dues.  And shout out to Saigon. Everybody hears a lot about the bullshit that’s going on with his situation. I want to shout him out because that’s my man. There are a lot of dudes that are signed and are supposed to be the next big thing from New York. I don’t want to call anyone that, but the homie Saigon is a true artist. “Come On Baby” almost got me arrested the other day. That record almost got me arrested. That’s the only record that’s come out in a long time that had me risking my freedom on the strength of the record, so good job, Saigon. Good job on making that music and spitting from the heart. I’m supporting that shit.  I’ve had a lot of requests for lists. I might have to freestyle it right now. Are you ready?  You know me. I’m a student of the game and I study what’s going on. I’m going to try to freestyle this list. In listening to as much hip-hop as I do, I see a reoccurring theme. There’s people dropping names and it’s like a plague in hip-hop. Keep in mind this is a freestyle list. I know there are a lot of fly-by-night fans that just like the ringtone rap. You have a lot of dudes popping on the mixtape scene and whatever and you’re listening to it all and you’re like, ‘Why did he say that again?’ So what I’m doing right now as I’m writing this journal is I’m compiling a list of the top 10 names that should never be spoken in a rap song again. Never again.  This is in no particular order. But if I hear one more motherfucker mention any of these fools’ names, I’m going to fucking regurgitate.  1 – I know this is a classic movie and it spurned a wonderful hit series and it opened up people’s minds to other stuff that’s going on in society, but nobody should ever use Neo from Matrix in his/her lines ever again. I think that everyone that’s been rapping since ’99 has used Neo’s name at least once.  2 – This guy could have been No. 1. Every single rapper and comedian mentions him. This guy should never be mentioned in another lyric ever again. Leave Michael Jackson alone. Leave that man, well, I don’t know what he is. Leave that being alone. I don’t want to hear Michael Jackson’s name again unless it’s on his own song, but then you wouldn’t hear it anyway because he’s not a rapper and doesn’t have to say, “Michael Jackson on the track!”   3 – I know this is a big tragedy and it ushered in a whole new world order. We’re all familiar with the September 11 situation. Bin Laden should not be mentioned again. “I’m the rap Bin Laden,” “I’ve been hot like Bin Laden,” “I’m underground like Bin Laden”…All of those references and the people who say them should be buried with him in that bunker. I don’t need to hear that.  4 – 6 – Now we’re into the basketball section. Never mention Yao Ming, Shaq or Michael Jordan ever again. Your man Jay-Z mentioned Michael Jordan in about 15 songs. Okay, we get it. I do not want to hear Michael Jordan’s name in another song, or Shaq or Yao Ming.  7 – Even though son is from Brooklyn and he’s a beast, leave Mike Tyson’s name out of your bars. Mike Tyson metaphors are so ’92. And hey, I fell victim to a Mike Tyson metaphor myself. Saigon said one in a song. 730 said he had a Yao Ming reference too when he read this. We’ll let Saigon slide. But I said a Mike Tyson line. Like I said, I’ve fallen victim to this shit before. Two people on this list already, I’ve fell victim to this. I’m not perfect. I’ve used a few of them too. But I’m making a conscious effort now to not ever use them again and you should do this also.   8 – All you people who are like, “I don’t really rap. I be on the block. I’m the kingpin. I sell this and I sell that. I got the block on smash. I got weed. I’m a trapper. I got weight. I move this…” They’re the dumbest people in life. All you aspiring drug dealers/rappers, please do not mention Tony Montana or anyone from the cast of Scarface in your rhyme ever again. No Tony Montana and no Sosa. Chill. Do you remember what happened to Tony Montana? He fucked himself over. Why would you want to end up like Tony Montana? He was a lunatic. All of those drug dealers or mobsters, if you’re talking about Corleone and Tony Soprano, you’re stupid. The mob dosen’t fuck with Negros. They don’t like you. They don’t fuck with you. Stop paying homage to them.  9 – Now we’re in the home stretch. This brother has been dead for 30-something years and the impact he had on society is unparalleled, but dammit, son, Bruce Lee does not need to be mentioned in another rap song, ever. Okay?  10 – A brother from Brooklyn is also on here and he used a lot of people on this list. Yes, he’s a legend and yes, he’s filthy rich. But if you’re not affiliated with him, not on Rocafella or Def Jam, and you don’t know the brother, then please, stop mentioning Jay-Z in your songs. Jay-Z does not need to be mentioned in any rap song. You don’t need to say, “Hov, I’m a problem.” He doesn’t care about you. He has other problems to deal with. He’s trying to figure out what island to buy for Beyonce. He’s trying to figure these things out. I’m not on his radar and you’re probably not either.  11 (bonus) – People have bastardized them since their untimely demises. They’ve been gone for 11 years and change. Everybody was a friend after they passed and everybody has a story about these dudes, but there were a lot of people they didn’t fuck with when they were alive. You know the two rappers that I’m talking about. If you didn’t mess with these brothers when they were alive, then you have no reason to ever mention Notorious B.I.G. or 2Pac in your paltry rap songs. I mean, people even do collabos with these two! Leave them be and stop diluting their legacy.  I hope people take heed to this like they took heed to my 10 Commandments of Internet Thugsterdom and my 10 Things to Never Do at a Live Show. Am I the best MC ever? No. But I know what I’m talking about.  And that’s courtesy of your friendly neighborhood fatman. Word. Poison Pen, Mark of the East is in stores now. http://myspace.com/poisonpen

[15] REACT TO POISON PEN'S 35th JOURNAL ENTRY

7/23/2007: Poison Pen Journal Entry #34 Where do we start? What’s good? The album’s been out for about three weeks. The album came out on June 19. We did a few in-stores and they were pretty successful. The Cop Shop out in Long Island was crazy. I gave a performance and there were a lot of fans there, even though I got there an hour and a half late due to circumstances beyond my control. I blessed them with a performance, met a lot of cool kids and signed them up for the contest. I’ve moved a few thousand of the album so far, which is dope considering that you haven’t seen one banner on the internet anywhere, thanks to my wonderful investors that are doing their job so well. But the label is very happy and very satisfied with the sales. Honestly, I’m not, to keep it funky, but you have to deal with the hand you’re dealt and your own situations. So far, so good. I’m going to keep grinding with these performances.   We did the album release party at SOB’s. It was packed there and that felt good. I’ve done a million shows but I don’t headline all the shows that I do. It was dope that everybody came out to see me. I was the main attraction there. I gauged how the album would go depending on how the album release party was. When I tore up SOB’s, there were people lined up around the block to see me. I went in there at 1:30 in the morning and the place was packed. I’ve been doing it for a long time and the acts I’ve worked with get a lot of attention and I get associated with them, but this just proved that Pen has an audience and Pen has a crowd also.   We did the Brooklyn Hip-Hop Festival too. The crowd responded real well. I was up there with all the other Brooklyn acts performing. They tried to give me the sucker spot and make me go on early, but I got on a little bit later, after the Kidz in the Hall. It’s just funny because all of the acts were good artists, but I rep that ‘hood shit. Not the gangster shit, but the ‘hood shit. All these motherfuckers were wearing tight tees with pastel colors but I brought the ‘hood out. I know a lot of people may have felt uneasy, but it was the Brooklyn Hip-Hop Festival. I had to bring Brooklyn with me. Saigon, Boot Camp, Sean Price and all the homies were there. Jeru was there. We had a lot of fun. We’re just trying to keep it rolling and I’m on the path to recoup my money, which is crazy.  Motherfuckers are downloading my album like crazy, but fuck it. Best Buy took 3,000 of them off my hand up top and they already ordered more. That says a lot since I don’t have a video, any singles in rotation and I only had one ad. That speaks volumes. That’s just a testament that proves that I have fans and people supporting and that really means a lot to me because I’m not a star or anything, but whatever, people are listening to the stuff I have to say. It’s amazing how many records I sold on the West Coast when my shit is saying, “Brooklyn, Brooklyn, Brooklyn!” That’s just me rhyming about what I know. That’s how it was back in the day. I didn’t buy an Ice Cube record because he repped or sounded like he was from New York. I bought an Ice Cube record because I wanted to hear about where he was from. He didn’t sound like the New York niggas because he wasn’t. Some people say it sounds too New York. How do you want it to sound like? Like it’s not me?  I have some things lined up in The Source and XXL. That’s cool. I’ll be out in LA this week with my publicist, doing a lot of radio. I’m doing mad radio and public appearances. I’m selling records in California. I actually sold more records in California than I did in New York, which is hilarious. The suburbs are feeling me! I guess they want to take a piece of the ‘hood home with them. I guess that’s what I am. This is going to help The Money Shot. It wasn’t perfect but you have to deal with the hand that you’re dealt. So far, so good.  Rock the Bells is coming up. I’m doing about five of those shows. We’re going to go back out there again to do Rock the Bells. The QN5 Megashow was moved out to California so I’m going to do that too. I’m just trying to keep my appearances up. The few people that are listening, I have to keep their ears. I just did this Stronghold song with Immortal Technique and Swave Sevah produced by Buckwild from the world-famous D.I.T.C. for Immortal Technique’s Green Lantern mixtape. We’re passing the mic back and forth and showing that crew unison that nobody shows anymore when they rhyme. They just do one verse and the hook and that’s it. That’s basically it.   I haven’t been getting drunk. I’ve been chilling. There’s a lot of bullshit going on. I’m trying to hang on and if I can’t, I’m going to take it to the lawyers. At the end of the day, the record is in stores.   AllHipHop gave me a perfect review. I didn’t think it was perfect, but I’ll take it. But let’s cut to the chase on all that. Let’s cut to the fucking chase. There’s a lot of miscommunication and a lot of misinformation being thrown around. This whole “Immortal Technique Presents” shit never should have come out like that. He was supposed to host it. I guess the label wanted to ride off of his name like he put me on. Let’s be painfully clear. He’s my brother. Son ain’t financing my project. Let’s be perfectly honest – if it was Immortal Technique presenting my project, then it should have been coming out on Viper Records. If you thought he was presenting me, you were misled. I read the review and I don’t trip, but motherfuckers need to know what it really is. That’s my brother and that’s my friend, but son is not my mentor. Son did not teach me how to rap. Son did not put me in the studio. Son did not finance my project. We just happen to be in the same clique and he’s very popular right now. I guess people want to use his name to get people more attached to it. It’s a good business move, but it’s misleading people. Immortal Technique is not my mentor and he did not executive produce my project. That is so far from the truth. I’m not going to elaborate on it.  We’re together all the time and you can’t blame the label. They’re opportunists. These motherfuckers are not here to be your friend. They’re here to make a dollar off of you and if you’re smart, you’ll make a dollar off of them. My record is filed under Immortal Technique’s section in some spots. Can you believe that? His record is The Middle Passage. That’s that record label bullshit. There’s a lot of trickery going down and I ain’t a part of the trickery. I mean, it’s my record and it reflects on me, but Immortal Technique as my mentor? That’s hilarious to me. He’s my brother and he’s my people. That’s that. We’re all equals in Stronghold. We all learn from each other, but the brother is not my mentor.  Shit, if anyone, Breez Evahflowin could be considered my mentor. I learned a lot from him. Son taught me how to make songs, taught me to stop writing 1000 bar verses and taught me to stop breaking niggas’ faces when I was upset. Son taught me the ropes in the studio. He’s not even a celebrity in that matter. People know his name and he gets respect, but if anybody could be considered my mentor, it could be him. It could also be Supastar Billy Gram and Supreme Court. I learned about rapping from watching them and they don’t even rap like that. Immortal Technique is my brother and my homie. End of story.  I take reviews with a grain of salt. They bigged me up so it’s all good. People will say what they want to say and you’ll always have sideline slanderers. People will always have their opinion of me. You put yourself out there on the plate for public scrutiny when you do this. This is the path I chose and motherfuckers are going to feel the way they’re going to feel. The next record that you see will be Poison Pen Presents Poison Pen. No fucking cosigners and no motherfuckers standing behind me. I don’t need that. I don’t need none of that. I fly on the strength of myself. That’s what it is.  Transformers was the shit, yo. I mean, Bumble Bee wasn’t the beetle, but I wasn’t mad at that. I didn’t see no green screen nowhere. It’s amazing how they hooked it up. There was so much stuff going on. The robots were massive. They were of mammoth proportions. They were humongous. They’re fighting and I’m looking all over the theater. I understand that I’m going to have to watch everything two or three times to catch everything. I arrived late and sat in the second row. I still have kinks in my neck. As someone that grew up on the Transformers, I was thoroughly entertained. They didn’t stray too far from the original story. They threw some good extras on it. Not like, ‘Why the fuck did they do that?’ Sometimes when TV shows turn into movies they lose a lot. I thought Michael Bay exceeded all expectations. Steven Spielberg had a watchful eye over it. I’m glad I spent my money there. It was a dope flick. I’m not going to get all into it because I know a lot of people haven’t seen it yet, but it’s worth it. That’s all I’m going to say. And it leaves a perfect opening for a part two. The movie was hot. Between that and Spiderman, I don’t know what’s coming next. I don’t know if anybody can top those right now. Between Spiderman and Transformers, that’s like childhood dreams. Unless Vanessa Del Rio makes a comeback, I don’t know.  Remy Ma is in a class by herself. Poppin’ her homegirl, then crashing the v and escaping on foot? That’s the ghetto triathlon, yo.  The “Bed Stuy Best Buy” video is done. I’m trying to figure out how to debut that in a nice, official manner. I’m trying to figure out how to do that. The video is done and I’m going to sit with it for a week to see if we need to do any changes. You’ll see it first on HipHopGame. It’s an interesting video. I enjoyed it.  I do have one thing to say about artists that want to talk on the sideline about other artists. If you make music, you put yourself up for public scrutiny, but for artists, there’s an unwritten code unless you have a problem with another artist. A lot of artists want to go online and talk shit about you under aliases. I just think that’s wild pussy. Coming from a dude such as myself, I keep it so ‘hood and I’m thoroughly respected. Even if you’re wack, I’ll give you the credit for having the balls to at least attempt something. Motherfuckers are so quick to critique but a lot of people don’t have the heart to stand up on stage and do it. It’s cool, but when I hear artists talking this recklessness, I know I should really smash their jaw for it. I know who they are. Should I take the high road or just bust somebody’s face open to the white meat? I’m just putting it out there. I’m just letting it out. All you wonderful artists, if you really have something to say, just say it to Pen. That’s all I have to say. Let it out! If you feel some sort of way about the kid, just say it to Pen. That’s all I got to say. Say that shit to Pen! If you feel some sort of way about the kid, say it to me.  All you artists know how to get at me. I’ve had the same cell phone number for ten years. It’s my first cell phone number. And this is for artists, not fans. If you really feel some sort of way, it’s nothing for you to pull me aside and air out your grievances. Don’t get online and let your fingers do the thugging. That shit reeks of estrogen. That shit ain’t pretty. That shit reeks of estrogen and d cups. Handle your business, boy boy. That’s all. There’s plenty of artists I might feel some sort of way about, but they’re artists and I’m going to let them live. There are a lot of dudes I don’t listen to because I think they’re wack, but I let them live. Don’t speak about me when you’re not half of me. Sell your records and whatever. If you want to take it somewhere else, we can compare wallets too. I don’t care what it’s about, but we can get it in. If you can’t match up to me in any way, then don’t say nothing. These guys can’t match up to me in any way anyway. I’ll say it for you – Poison Pen sucks. Word. That’s what it is. http://myspace.com/poisonpen

[11] REACT TO POISON PEN'S 34th JOURNAL ENTRY

6/19/2007: Poison Pen Journal Entry #33 Shout out to DJ Quik, AMG and Saigon. There was a Sucker Free showcase out here last week in New York City. The Fixxers came out here for a show and AMG was eyeing my Bed Stuy Best Buy t-shirt. Come to find out, he was born in Brooklyn. I’m going to get him that T in a 4X immediately. Shout out to Smack DVD and Don DeMarco from Desert Storm. Saigon’s my dude. Shout out to all of them, especially AMG and Quik, the Fixxers. They did it up out here. They got love. Quik has mad classics. In the back of your mind, you’re not really thinking about it, but he’s got a lot of classics. He didn’t perform “Dollars and Sense” though.  It’s whatever right now. The frustration is there, but I’m still having a good time. I really am. There are just some things out of your control at times and some people aren’t man enough to handle business like they agreed to. It’s all good though. If you’re not my family and not my blood, at the end of the day, why should I expect somebody to be on the up-and-up with me?  I was watching the internet and I saw your man Akon throw a dude ten rows into the crowd. I didn’t know the Toothpick could do that. My publicist showed it to me and I said, “Oh, word?” I figured he just pushed someone off the stage. She told me to watch, and this dude really threw this motherfucker. No, he hurled him. He hurled him ten rows into the crowd. I’m not saying I condone it or that it was intelligent, but I understand why he did it. I’m not a tenth as popular as Akon is, but I know how it can get. You’re standing there and some faggot in the crowd thinks he’s going to blend in and be anonymous and throw some shit onto the stage. He thinks he’s going to blend in. I understand why Akon did that from an artist’s perspective. When you’re on stage and people say that fly shit to you, they think you’re not going to hear that and that they’re going to blend into the crowd. If you’re really that thorough, stand behind that shit. Don’t throw some shit and then hide so you can’t be found. That’s real soft. Dude’s a fucking asshole for that shit and he got served. He got what was coming to him. Akon should have handled it with a little more finesse, but I understand why he did it. I’m not saying “good job,” but I understand why he did it.  I’ve jumped into the crowd plenty of times. There was a time last year in Pennsylvania where a dude had to jump out a bathroom window. I was ready to kill that motherfucker.  I’ve been laying low on the porn lately. I’ve been focusing on making this music pop. I try to keep “abreast” on certain things, but that’s not my focus. Porn is cool, but fuck all that right now. I’m not doing shit right now. I’m not looking at porn, I’m not fucking (and it’s not because I can’t get no ass. I’m a fly, fat nigga) and I’m not drinking as much. I’m trying to make this project go as far as I can. Fuck these chicks that just want to be around for the sake of being around. I’m not out doing anything except focusing on getting this project off the ground. I just recorded my first song in two months.  Although I did take a break yesterday. I’ve actually been through a lot of shit. I went out to the Fight Klub with Nems and Iron Solomon. Jin was out there too. That’s my homie. I watched Nems battle. And in my opinion, not because I know the motherfucker, I think he got jerked. He lost to this dude from Harlem.  And then I got to see what Iron Solomon did to Jin. I’m pretty sure you heard about that. Iron Solomon prepared for battle and he came out victorious. I love Jin and he’s my brother, but I don’t think he went as hard as he could have. Solomon was prepared and Solomon smacked him. That’s what happened. I think it’s pretty decisive what happened. Jin did well, but for whatever reason, he didn’t do as well as he could have.  Hopefully now people recognize my man Solomon as somebody on the come up. People look at Solomon as a rapper, but he’s really a producer. That’s his bread and butter. Solomon has a studio out here in BK. He’s a triple-threat kind of guy. I got music with Solomon and George Burnz. It’s just corny how people get recognized for battles. You get more recognized for winning a battle than for having a dope show.  Me and Nems ransacked the Puerto Rican Day Parade with his Fuck Ya Life t-shirts. We were wilding out up there. There were a lot of beautiful women out there. Shout out to that lady cop giving me that wonderful eye. I was hoping she would put me in cuffs but not incarcerate me, if you know what I mean. She was banging though. Shout out to the female officer out in Central Park. You were doing your damn thing and you are very attractive. I should have gotten my NWA on and fucked the police, but I’m not working on that right now. I’m chilling.  All I need right now is a nice, healthy dosage of toast. That’s another story. All I need is a nice, healthy dosage of toast. Dry toast. It’s all good. I’m from Bed Stuy. Everybody in Bed Stuy has toast, but I like a special toast.  Don’t think I’m not a degenerate just because of this album coming out. It’s just a lot of stress. I’m going to have to streak Times Square for publicity when this album comes out. That will make all the chubby chasers happy. I have to do something crazy. I’m built for this. I’ve proven it. Keep in mind this is just a mixtape album. It’s just a continuation of the Pick Your Poison mixtape from last year. It’s official music, but it’s not the official album. I stand behind it though. I still think it’s dope.   And don’t forget about the Bed Stuy Best Buy giveaway. Remember that.  The Sopranos ended and a lot of people are talking about that, but I don’t watch it.  That Akon footage is really hilarious. The bouncers pass the kid through the crowd like a collection plate to put the kid up on stage and then he gets thrown ten feet. I’ve done that before. I’ve thrown motherfuckers off the stage. I’ve been thrown off the stage. I’ve thrown motherfuckers around many times in many places. Most of the shit I get into happens off the stage, like in Pennsylvania.  It happened awhile ago and I don’t remember where I was, but this one kid was just overzealous and I threw him off on some ‘just get out of here’ shit. He was one of those overzealous Immortal Technique fans, running up like crazy. When we do big events, we have security. When we do smaller shows, events and venues, we are our own security. It’s a fucked up, crazy world we live in and everybody doesn’t love you. Some people will do what they will to prove their point. Some people don’t care, as evidenced by the old Cannibal Ox/Vordul story. There was a mention in Vibe magazine about that recently.  The album is out. That means the contest has begun. http://myspace.com/poisonpen

[7] REACT TO POISON PEN'S 33rd JOURNAL ENTRY

6/15/2007: Poison Pen Journal Entry #32 I have one point to make – no one will care about your project more than you. Q-Tip said it best, “4080.” Maybe I need to spaz out, but when you’re an adult, you try to handle business correctly. So I can’t run around like a wild savage, but I expect people around me to handle their business. But when your hands are tied behind your back and your back’s against the wall, what are you going to do? Are you going to roll over, get fucked and die or are you going to fight for your life? I think I’m just about at that point.  I’m still happy about some of the things that happened. I have a video about to drop and a commercial about to happen on TV. I have a spot running on the Uptown Music Network for Black Music Month. They syndicate black cinema and I did a TV spot for them. I paid tribute to KRS-One in the spot while Mecca paid tribute to Big Daddy Kane and Pack FM paid tribute to LL Cool J. That spot has been airing all over the country and I’ve been getting a lot of emails about it, but don’t ask me why they put horrible music behind us and made us look like a group of offbeat rappers.  We recorded it accapella.  Shout out to Echoing Soundz, Mickey Knox, Lord Sear, Whoo Kid and DJ Self. The satellite DJs are showing me love. They’ve been supporting what Pen does. I have some more things coming up soon, so even due to the incompetence of others and things beyond my control, you will see me in various print magazines and websites in the next couple of months. I have a lot of publications coming out soon, from The Source, XXL, Vibe and Scratch. That’s cool. On the strength of that, it will help keep me afloat. I wish there were more, but it’s good. Don’t trust anybody. None of these people’s words are worth shit. If you didn’t come into a game with somebody and they never gave you a reason to trust them, then don’t trust them. I only trust a motherfucker as far as I can throw them.   We got the Bed Stuy Best Buy giveaway contest and the Bed Stuy Best Buy t-shirts for everybody that’s been supporting. The release party will be at SOBs on Varick St. in NYC with Diabolic, Immortal Technique and Da Circle. James Watts will be there. It’s going to be popping. Motherfuckers need to spend $10 and come out and support. I also have a Fat Beats in-store lined up June 19 at 7pm and a Cop Shop in-store lined up for June 21. Connecticut has been showing me a lot of love. Chum and Apathy are out there. They’re both my brothers. Can’t you see the resemblance?    I’m staying busy and just making sure that I’m doing everything in my power to make sure people hear this record. I’m pushing hard. The “Bed Stuy Best Buy” video is coming out real serious. I was in Bed Stuy filming it on one of those hot-ass summer-like days. We also did a shoot for “Stoopid” where I was a classroom teacher showing everyone what was “stoopid.” My brothers Swave Sevah and Ed the Derelict are in the video. So is Access Immortal. He’s my homie and he’s got an album coming out, so I made sure he was in the video. That video will be out soon.  The whole entire Rebel Army (Da Circle, Akir, Technique, J Arch and Southpaw) showed up too.  They were whining and bitching, but they were there.  I’m also doing the Brooklyn Hip-Hop Festival June 23. Sean Price is doing that too. I’m going to bring the whole ‘hood out to that area of Brooklyn, because that area of Brooklyn is not the ‘hood at all. We’ll keep it real thorough out there. We’re really looking for a summer push for this product. I have a DJ Superstar J mixtape project coming out too. That should help push the project too.  Why hasn’t Pumpkinhead been sabotaging my journals lately? Pumpkinhead’s been busy. Honestly, he’s my brother and he knows I’m going through some shit, so he’s chilling for now. On June 24, he has a show at a wrestling match with Samoa Joe, Abyss, all these TNA dudes. After the Brooklyn Hip-Hop Festival, I might do a guest spot with Pumpkinhead there where we try to fuck some dudes up. He’s my brother. An hour ago I was cooking dinner and watching Monday Night Raw. Kennedy and Snitsky are going to Raw and Chris Benoit is going to ECW. I’m shaken up a little bit.   I heard Stack Bundles got killed. I never met the brother, but he was a brother out here making it happen, so Rest In Peace to him. I don’t know what he was into besides rap, but Rest In Peace to the brother. I don’t know if his album is done and what’s going on with that, but another hip-hop artist is gone due to the bullshit. Rest In Peace to the dude. Nobody said “Ssssquad up!” like dude. Rest In Peace. It sounds cliché, but I hope he’s in a better place. I don’t know the brother, but I respect what he was doing on some rap shit and I have to shout him out. http://myspace.com/poisonpen

[66] REACT TO POISON PEN'S 32nd JOURNAL ENTRY

5/25/2007: Poison Pen Journal Entry #31 None of my journals have ever been wack. I don’t do that. I can’t write a wack journal if I tied my hands behind my back and let Pumpkinhead run away with my notebook. No matter how wack my journal is, it’s still better than most of the crap you read. How hard is it to have a good journal entry? Man, all it takes it life’s wonderful comedy. All you have to do is pay attention to what’s going on around you and document it.  I was in the club this week with Stelfindex and Dawgstarr Ent. They have the monthly showcases I host every month. I’m stuntin’ on stage with a root canal. In the club with a root canal!  Also the chick we paid for publicity took my money and jumped ship. She’s great. Stay away from her. I won’t even mention her name to give her any attention. Never take one of your projects to her because she’s a fucking crab. Her name is even on the CD. She’s a loser. Shouts to Echo Hattix from Echoing Soundz. A real PR firm. I should have been fucking with y’all from jump! Also shouts to Quik and AMG. The Fixxers! Don Hills, NYC, May 29.   Anyway, whatever. So I’m in the club, chilling and trying to promote this album which hopefully more than 10 people will buy when it comes out on June 19. At the end of the day, I already got paid, so should I even care that much? But I do care that much.  People are constantly asking about the journal too so I have to keep this updated. Everything I write about in here is true. Nothing is made up over here.  I’m getting ready for the Brooklyn Hip-Hop Festival. That’s going to be a good look. I’m trying to see where I fit in. Ghost is headlining and Consequence and Tonya Morgan will be there. And oh yeah, they got Poison Pen to perform. I’m looking forward to that. We have a lot of spot dates too. I’m just preparing for that and getting healthy. My week’s been horrible.  I was at the DMV the day before they violated my mouth. That was the worst experience in the world. Have you ever had a fucking root canal? I’ll write about the DMV first because that was hot. That was actually cool. As much as I’m a regular dude, being Poison Pen does have its privileges. You know how the DMV line is ridiculously long? I’m in the DMV, chilling with my iPod and all that, expecting to be there for 15 hours. I’m standing in line for a few minutes and I finally get a seat. I was in there for 15 minutes up to that point, which wasn’t that bad. They gave me No. A375 and they were at like No. A81 or something. It was real ignorant. So I’m sitting there, waiting for them to take my number. I think it’s going to take about 16 years. I hear somebody yell, “Hey, Poison Pen!” I see a dude behind the counter with his business attire on, looking real professional. It’s the manager of the DMV. The manager of the DMV calls me over. As I’m looking, I see that it’s my dude G who used to throw shows back in the day. This dude skips me in front of everyone. This dude skips me in front of the whole freaking Brooklyn. This dude takes care of me, chops it up and I’m out of the DMV in 15 minutes. Being Poison Pen has its privileges.   Sometimes it doesn’t, like when you have to climb on an airplane and sit in tight-ass seats. It’s also not cool when the train is crowded and I have to squeeze my 300-pound frame into one of those seats. But being Poison Pen does have its advantages when you’re at the DMV.  Now onto the root canal. I hadn’t been to the dentist in years because I was allergic to the stuff they used. They told me to keep my teeth clean and that was that. All I knew was that lately my tooth hurt. I didn’t realize how much they violate you in the dentist’s office. These two female dentists were there. They were freaking doing x-rays of my mouth and they told me I needed a root canal. I was like, ‘Okay, fine.’ I didn’t know what to expect from the dentist being that I never really needed any dental work. I had gotten a checkup and they told me I was good. That was awhile ago. I was sitting there and this chick pulls out a needle that’s like four-feet long and she sticks that shit in my jaw. That’s an experience, dog. Then they insert the gauze and I’m drooling like an idiot. Then she calls for backup and then they bring another dentist in there. One has her hands on one corner of my mouth and the other one has her hands on the other side of my mouth. And they’re drilling through my mouth! When they hit my nerve, I kicked the table. I just wanted to leave. I was like, ‘You can let this shit hurt, B.’ I left and I had to go back in a few days. They gave me some excellent painkillers and I’ve developed a dependency to them. I’m kind of like floating with them and if you drink them with Bacardi, you get a nice little sensation. At least I got some drugs out of it. The dentist sucks. I’m glad I didn’t have any shows because I couldn’t perform. I had to cancel my studio sessions. I couldn’t even speak into the phone. But it is what it is and here I am. They fixed it because I don’t feel any pain anymore. They did their job. Word, son. Word.  June 19. The album is coming out, but you wouldn’t know that by going online or looking for ads. The only people who know it read the journal and know it because I said it’s coming out.  I am holding a contest. I have a brand new Blackberry to give away. At least five of my friends have already asked to be the winner, but we’re not playing that game. Here’s how it’s going to work. My album comes out June 19. To enter the contest, you have to send me the white sticker that comes on top of the album as proof that you bought the album. For every sticker you send, your name will be written on a piece of paper. That’s an entry. All pieces of paper will then be thrown into a hat. I will select the winner on HipHopGame TV. The winner will then receive the Blackberry. A lucky runner-up will get the chance to guest star in the official Poison Pen Journal. That’s right, you get an entire entry to yourself. More details will come out, but that’s what it is right now. 730 is my new Marketing Director.  I’m filming another video this weekend out in Brooklyn. It’s gonna be real sick. For more info, hit me on the MySpace.   http://myspace.com/poisonpen

[13] REACT TO POISON PEN'S 31th JOURNAL ENTRY

5/4/2007: Poison Pen Journal Entry #30 I have a list! My fucking allergies are killing me. It’s a good thing I’m writing right now and not talking. Everything’s been moving. We have our street teams working out in New York, Boston and LA with the posters and the t-shirts. The single’s going to be serviced to radio and the video’s going to be dropping. It’s not going to get on BET but it’s gotten picked up other places and that should pop off. I’m like a one-man street team myself. If I’m not out there hustling my own shit, then who am I to have somebody else do it? I’m on the front line hawking my own shit because I feel it’s worth it. I’ve basically been out there getting the word out. We got a big promo run coming up. Before you know it it’s going to be June 19 and the mixtape album’s going to be out. I had a few interesting things happen this week. We did SUNY New Paltz Sunday night. What’s the word I’m looking for? We had an “unusual” fan in attendance. The mayor of New Paltz, Jason West, was in attendance. We did this thing called Rock Against Racism. The mayor came up and he gave us a lot of love. The mayor is 29 years-old. He hung out with us and I’m not going to get into any details. He’s up for reelection and I think he actually won. I’ve hung out with a lot of different people, but never a mayor. Then he took us to the bar and we started banging tequila shots together. I got drunk with the mayor. Shout out to the mayor. He’s a good dude. I might move out to New Paltz and be your comptroller. He first became mayor at 26. That’s amazing. I was trying to take a picture with him for the journal but my camera wasn’t working. These allergies are going crazy right now. You should see my eyes. But I told you I have a list. I’ve been getting a lot of requests for lists lately. I gave you one list four or five months ago and now I have another list. I think I’m a respected authority on this thing due to my grind and due to what the fuck I do. It’s my life. I make a living performing these shows. I’m going to give you some of my expertise. A lot of people read the journal and they’re not rappers but they’re fans of hip-hop. This list is particularly for the rappers/performers/whatever you want to call yourself. People don’t want to call themselves “rappers” anymore. They’re “motivational speakers,” “trappers,” “instructors,” “hustlers” and “street poets.” It’s like it’s taboo to be called a “rapper” nowadays. I’m a rapper. Fuck it. I’m a goon at the same time though. This list is dedicated to all those people that are rappers, whether you call you call yourself one or not. 10 Things Not To Do At A Live Show 1- If you’re at a live show and you’re performing, do not curse out the sound man. This is very important. You have to put this in perspective. If you’re insulting this dude and he controls your sound, do you think he’s going to make you sound good? You should become acquainted with the fellow and buy him a drink. After you say, “Fuck you, sound man, you bitch-ass nigga,” if I was the sound man, you would sound like your school PA system. By the time I was done sabotaging your shit, you would sound like you were being called down to the principal’s office. 2 - Do not diss the town that you’re in. That’s ridiculous. These people come out to see you and when you call them suckers and pussies, they’re not going to give you any love. They might rush you off the stage themselves. 3 - I know this is difficult for a lot of people, but do not get on stage with 150 niggas. Every show you might have an entourage around, and if they have to be on stage, have them play the severe background. The stage is for MCs. If they’re not even a rapper, having them on stage is not a good look. 4 - If for some odd reason you have insecurity issues and you must bring 150 people on stage with you, please do not give them all microphones. Your man that just came home does not need a mic. The chick you just met at the bar does not need a mic. The merch dude hawking your t-shirts does not need a mic. The cameraman for your DVD does not need a mic. Save the mic for you, your hypeman and your DJ and whoever else is rapping. That’s it. 5 - I’ve fallen victim to this one before and I’ll try to never fall victim to this one again. Do not get so high and/or drunk before you perform that you don’t know the words to your own shit. Do not do it. That’s pretty self-explanatory. 6 - This one is for people with status who have headlined shows and have contracts and can demand things in their writer. This isn’t for everyone. Don’t act like a bitch when everything you ask for isn’t there. If you ask for Doritos, don’t throw a hissyfit because they gave you Bravos. As long as your accommodations are decent, you’ll be all right. 7 - This is another one for people with fans. When you’re on stage, don’t get lazy and get comfortable just because the people know the words. They came here to see you perform. If you’re just going to hold the mic out for them, they could have stayed home and listened to the CD. 8 - This is for people coming up. If you’re not the headliner, or even if you are the headliner, do not overstay your welcome. If you’re not the headliner, nobody wants to see you on stage for 90 minutes. Do not do the first eight songs from each of your first five albums. Keep it like a gay midget – short and sweet. If people are checking their watches and it’s silent, save face, say thanks and walk off. They came to see someone else. You’re not going to body every show. That’s just what it is. 9 - Steve Harvey said this one the best. I’m not going to lie, I’m not the hugest Steve Harvey fan, but Steve Harvey said it best – do not yell into the microphone. I know you have to make yourself heard, but do not sound like you’re at a fucking auction. Either your track is going to back you up or your hypeman that you pay in weed and liquor should have you. You have to practice. My people know where I’m going to stop so we don’t go over each other and sound real stupid. We know exactly when to stop and exactly when to go. That’s how you do it. 10 - A lot of people might not agree, but I come from the school of real performances and real MCing, so if you’re not filming an episode of Soul Train, stop rhyming over your own songs because you don’t have breath control and you don’t know what the fuck you’re doing. If you don’t know what you’re doing, you shouldn’t be on stage anyway. There’s nothing wrong with TV tracks with adlibs and hooks or a backup track. We don’t need anyone lip-syncing. If I see you doing that, I’m going to throw a tomato at you. A lot of these new cats, that’s what they do. They run around grabbing their dick and bouncing around like jack in the boxes, looking real stupid. Milli Vanilli Rob and Fab-ass lames. Didn’t one of them dudes body himself? That shows you what fronting gets you. That’s just game spit from me. Hopefully it helps and heed what I said. I do know what I’m talking about. Anymore list suggestions, hit me on the MySpace. Yesterday I got up with my man Nems Murdafest. They were doing this DVD interview with DMC. I got up with the brother and he dropped a lot of jewels about the industry and how they made it. I personally thanked DMC for getting us out of that fucking spacesuit, big leather suits, Indian headdress era. I thanked him for bringing us into the jeans, t-shirts and hats that niggas still wear today. I thanked DMC for ushering us out of that questionable-sexuality era of hip-hop. Run-DMC are the first people to wear what they wore on the block onto the stage. Props to them for not spiking and perming their hair and wearing skin-tight jeans that you have to put on by lying on the bed. You’ll see me thanking him on camera. I think he thought I was going to thank him for his contributions, but I was just thanking him for ushering in the change in clothing. My cuz Bamm is out in Miami looking for my friend I met I South Beach that I spoke about in my last journal. Good luck, sun! A TOAST to maintaining celibacy. Keep it in your pants, perv! Cam, ‘member what the drunk dude said on Broadway? You paid him! Don’t get too tore up at Fat Tuesday’s. Happy bornday, Jazz! Happy bornday, Chum. It’s Da Bears! Emveez! Early! Happy bornday, Antlyve. Emveez! Pick Your Poison: The Mark Of The East June 19. Remember that. http://myspace.com/poisonpen

[15] REACT TO POISON PEN'S 30th JOURNAL ENTRY

4/23/2007: Poison Pen Journal Entry #29 I’m back! I went on the road with The Rebel Army. That’s Technique, Diabolic, Da Circle, Akir, J Arch, DJ GI Joe and myself. We did Orlando and Miami. It was kind of interesting. As far as performance-wise, we got very busy, but that doesn’t matter as long as I get paid.  In Orlando, Diabolic and me get back to the villa. I reached over to get my ring, and mind you, this is a big, custom-made Emveez ring that I’ve had for a long time. There’s only two rings in existence and everyone else has the tats. My skin is too fly for tats. So I put the ring on and it’s all dented. I don’t know if that can happen in a mosh-pit, but I don’t know what the fuck happened. I don’t know if I have to repair it or something, but something has to be done. I don’t know how it broke. It was like $1400. I’m going to have to fix this. You know what? I can’t even put this shit on.  I just sent 730 a promo video of some Foul Play shit for HipHopGame TV. Watch that shit on here, YouTube, whatever. It’s important that you have more than my torso on there. I’m still getting used to sending the large files. I don’t even know where to start in this journal. So much shit happened and I know people want to know about everything. I’ve been getting asked about it everywhere.  When I got home, I dropped off my bags and my mother and my sister came to take me to dinner and a brother goes, “You’re Poison Pen!” My moms goes, “You really are famous!” I told her I’m not but it was actually pretty cool. Mom dukes thinks I’m famous. And no, it wasn’t Chum shouting me out. Chum lost a lot of weight. I’m proud of him. He’s off the doughnuts. He lost about 40 pounds. He’s trying to get trim and sexy. I guess he’s just trying to live off his newfound radio fame right now. He’s got a new car, lost some weight and got his haircut game up to par. I guess he’s trying to be the radio sex symbol of Connecticut now. Son gettin’ that Jammin 107.7 WWRX paper!  But we’ve been on the road a lot. A lot of fifths of liquor have been wasted and we met a lot of new faces. I got a few new fans. The album comes out June 19 now.  We did Boston and your man Akir kept on getting out of character. I had to eat his ribs and bring out the tenderizers. I had to rough him up. It was all in fun though. I apologize for putting that hole in the dressing room wall at the Middle East nightclub. Oops!  And South Beach is a wonderful, wonderful place. I have a video I want HipHopGame to post from there. It’s a 20 second clip. This broad at the spot was all in my face out there. I’m not going to go into the gory details, but Diabolic was like, ‘Yo, not for nothing, but she keeps on looking at you, yo.’ South Beach is where all the fly clubs are. Miami’s kind of ‘hood, but South Beach is like the trendy, cool area where the money and beach is. That shit is crazy. There’s like 50 or 60 bars and clubs lined up. It’s real laid-back. You can take your drinks from spot to spot and drink it in the street and the police don’t fuck with you. It’s kind of ill.  So it’s like 3 or 4 in the afternoon and it’s starting to get light outside. We’re walking down Ocean Drive. I’m just trying to go where the ladies and the liquor is. There was this chick and I wasn’t really peeping her. I was just trying to go inside. Diabolic kept telling me that everywhere I went, she kept on staring and looking. My wardrobe game is up to par. I don’t look like the average dude out there. My wardrobe game is sick. I see that she’s peeping me and I walk inside the spot. She follows me inside. Then I go to the bathroom to wash my hands and she heads my direction. We start talking. Then my people come inside like Diabolic, Tech and GI Joe. DJ Semp was there too. So me and this chick just start talking. She’s giving me her whole life story. She was in the club and dancing and all that. I was just thinking that she was trying to get me for my money and get mad drinks. I bought her one drink. I’m not going to spend my whole check on a chick, but I can get her a drink.   So we’re just talking and she’s all in the mix. And her body was one of the most popping in the spot so everybody kept looking. She kept on coming back to me and coming back to me. Three other chickadees walk into our spot and we start talking. You know how you just start talking to see how far you can go with it? This chick tells me she’s down for whatever. I tell her to go get the other girl that was following me around. They start talking and then she kissed the other one on the neck. It was on and popping. So I said I would buy her a drink too. Fuck it!  Now Technique and Diabolic are looking at me. So one of the chicks bends down like strippers do. Both of their asses are in my motherfucking face. Bow bow bow! The whole club is looking at me. I got the spot and it ain’t nothing for them to come back with us.  To make a long story short, one of the chicks got rowdy. One was 22 or 21 and the other one was 28. The younger one got kicked out of the club for fighting with the bouncer. The other one told me to come out to her car because she had to feed her meter. She said she wanted to get something to eat so we go down the spot to get some grub. I wanted to see if she wanted me to pay for her. I don’t buy pussy. I’m celibate right now anyway. I might put things in motion to make it easier for me, but I don’t buy buns. If you’re my girl, everything I have is yours. That ain’t nothing.    So I wanted to see what would happen and if she was going to try and get me to pay. She paid. I was like, ‘That’s what’s up!’ I had some money on it but I’m not one of those “make it rain” motherfuckers. We just had an east coast run of shows and sold wild merchandise, but I don’t walk around flashing stacks. I don’t do that dumb shit. So she bought the food and she got points for that. Her ass was just rotund and we’re just chilling. She had the little shorts on and she turns around to show me her back because she thought she had a spot on them. So she bends all the way over with her ass in the air and her hands on the floor and just keeps clapping her ass in my face. Mind you, this is a spot where people are eating at, son. She just keeps clapping her ass in my face. I didn’t know what to do so I was like, ‘Fuck it!” I was just going along with the motions. So I took her little shorts and…NOTHING. I won’t get into that. My celibacy is maintained! It was mad grimy, son son! We’re in straight public!  Then I said, “Let me chill. I can’t be doing that shit in public.” Keep in mind I’m celibate. I told her to go get me some napkins and every dude was like, ‘Respect! Respect! That’s you? Respect!’ Then we left and I’m not going to get into any crazy, extra shit but I got some extra footage of her booty clapping in the street. She made the booty clap. The cameras really need to follow me.  But I did bump into another reality show. Kelis was filming her shit. Nas wasn’t there. I said, “Whaddup?” to her and kept it moving. She’s the homie from high school with my cousin Bamm and PackFM and all them fools. That’s been what was going on with me along with some delayed shit. Sorry for keeping y’all waiting!  I guess Imus is the new Kramer. It’s funny because they want to make him the new symbol for freedom of speech. His comments were made in bad taste. I don’t want him to apologize. Imus has been on the radio longer than I’ve been alive and I’ve heard him on the radio. His character is Howard Stern-esque. They’re cut from the same cloth. He’s not sorry for what he said. He’s sorry he got caught. That’s how he really felt. It might have been him trying to be funny, but it was in really bad taste.  It’s not like it’s a double standard when black people can say things and white people can’t. I’m justified in saying that. It’s true. When a white dude says, “Whaddup, my nigga?” you’re about to flip. It’s a control thing. The funny shit about it is how they’re making an attack on hip-hop and blaming hip-hop for what Imus said. Those phrases were around before hip-hop. Anytime somebody white says something to bring the black community out in outrage, they blame hip-hop. “If you can say it, I should be able to say it too.” It just doesn’t work like that. He got fired. Whatever. I could care less. There are plenty of other things we need to be worrying about. Rutgers didn’t even win the championship. What he said was foul and it was obviously racially-tinged, but we have bigger fish to fry than worrying about Imus. There are plenty of people worse than Imus who still have their jobs. Imus will still be paid. Fuck Imus, okay, but get over it. It’s not the end of the world. Keep it moving. He’s ignorant and he caught a bad one. Let’s move on. Whatever. Word.  It’s been a long time since my last journal entry. I apologize wholeheartedly to everybody, but I was actually being a rapper. I was actually doing my MC thing. It’s not like I was sitting on my ass at home and not doing anything. I think I became a hip-hop personality now. I think that should be my new title. I’m a hip-hop personality, but at the same time, if it weren’t for me being an MC and a rapper, I wouldn’t have this journal. I MC and it just so happens that I have a lot to say that’s entertaining. Feel free to bark at me on my MySpace page. I’m back like I never left. All of these other journaling dudes, I got my spot back. I’ma let Skyzoo breathe a little bit. That’s the homie. 730 knows nobody was stressing this journal shit until I started doing it. Am I right? http://myspace.com/poisonpen

>>Watch Poison Pen's video, 'Foul Play'

[14] REACT TO POISON PEN'S 29th JOURNAL ENTRY

3/22/2007: Poison Pen Journal Entry #28 I’m still waking up. Please excuse my grogginess. Whaddup, son? I’m fucking beat. Hold on, I have to yawn. I’m a little delirious. What it is?  So far, so good for my week. Shit. I just had a very busy day yesterday. I had to do my press photos for the publicity for the album and all the covers I’m going to get when I start doing interviews. We’re getting everything mastered. I shot a little, quick promo video for the project. HipHopGame TV should have that soon. Now everyone can see my wonderful face. I did a little video for Foul Play too. It’s an old song.  It’s the independent grind out here. A lot of independent artists know. We tend to do things from the grassroots side. What happens is we form an underground network for whatever we need. A lot of times it’s way cheaper to do it that way. It’s kind of like an underground railroad of some sorts. I have different people everywhere. My dude Kevin, who actually directed the video, had another job during the day. As I’m doing my press photos, he calls me up and tells me he has all his equipment ready and that we should do a video. I had already been up for 18 straight hours and then he had me come through for that. It took a few hours to film it but I think it came out cool. I’ll have that in a few weeks for you to see. That should be fun.   Waking up threw my equilibrium off. I’m not used to sleeping at this time. I’m a grumpy dude when I wake up. Usually it takes me four hours to wake up. And no, then it’s not time for another nap. I’m not that lazy.  I’m supporting Brooklyn Academy and their new mixtape. My brother Pumpkinhead actually extended the olive branch and invited me to their show at the Lyricists Lounge. HipHopGame journaling alumnus Joell Ortiz performed along with Jin and Blitz from Brooklyn. My man’s GC Soul Mafia was there. It was dope. PH and Block McCloud invited me over there and they totally annihilated their performance. It was real dope. I fucks with Brooklyn Academy. I fucks with them hardbody. They had the performance of the night. Everybody did their thing for the most part. Some kid was trying to heckle my little dude Jin up there. Of course when Jin called him out, he didn’t do nothing. That night was definitely a Brooklyn thing though. I’m just glad that Brooklyn is doing what it is we do. That’s what’s popping.  I see the people on the comments are enjoying my “beef” with Pumpkinhead. I’m getting something better to do. I don’t have beef with nobody. All this shit is fucking TV. I know Pumpkinhead did say I was “jealous of his life.” Whatever. It is what it is. I know the truth.  I was fucking asleep. What the fuck? What do you want me to write about? I wasn’t even having a dream to write about. Sorry.  Shout out to Domingo for reading my journal. I went to his release party for The Most Underrated. You know how I do. I sneak my own bottles in. I snuck it in and gave him my congratulations for the album. It’s a very solid album. Domingo has classics. As I’m perusing the tracklisting for Domingo’s album, I see that the last song on the album is a Poison Pen song. That song is banging. But there’s one big problem about the song: it’s not on the album!  What’s crazy is Pumpkinhead got his first taste of journaling success when we were working together on the track for Domingo’s album and I let him borrow my pen. Domingo is indirectly responsible for starting this whole thing. Domingo is the reason I sleep with a 12” blade under my pillow, hoping Pumpkinhead doesn’t jump through the window and accost me. I am glad Domingo put my name on the album. It’s kind like a flyer for me now. It’s like when you bought Snoop’s Doggystyle and you see “The Next Episode” on there and it doesn’t come out until 1999. But you thought the song sounded hot. Shouts out to Domingo.   I’ve been training for my WWE debut for awhile. Mark Henry retired and Kamala left, so they need another fat, black dude. I’m trying to make my entrance. They’re saying Melle Mel is going to be in the WWE but he’s like 50 years-old. I guess anything’s possible. I guess if I can’t wrestle, I can still be a wonderful mouthpiece (pause). I can be the dude who starts shit and occasionally wrestles. See, most rappers start shit and never fight. I could at least fight some of the time. They talk about it, but most rappers don’t fight.  Throwing tables and chairs is like a family reunion for me. That’s right at home for me. I’m the Son of Kamala. Put me next to him with my shirt off. You’ll see the resemblance.  And don’t worry, I would never rock the spandex. I’d be one of those dudes with the unitard. Give me the one-piece. The hip-hop angle is kind of overplayed because Cryme Tyme is there and they overdo it. They overdo the “yo yo yo’s” and the “son’s.” I respect their gangster though. They say they’re from NA Rock. I hit Shad on MySpace and I asked him where he was from and son never hit me back. I’m going to smack him with a monitor because he said he reps my ‘hood and he doesn’t. I might get stomped because he’s 6’8”, but whatever. I don’t want to be the pathetic wrestler who puts up half a fight every night and then he loses. I’m not going to be the Brooklyn Brawler.   I don’t know what my special move would be. I don’t even fucking know. I’d have to do something like choke people with my durag when the referee isn’t looking. I’d have to do something real ignorant but I couldn’t do anything too stereotypical. Wrestling is mad stereotypical. I don’t know why I love the shit when it’s so blatantly racist. All the black wrestlers are criminals, shucking and jiving. Every black wrestler from the past is portrayed like a straight-up monster. The only reason the Rock ever got over is because he’s half-black. He had the Negro appeal but he came out like Elvis. He wasn’t an angry black man. He wasn’t like your pops. They made Tony Atlas into Saba Simba, an “African warrior” and made him step into the ring in so-called “African garb.” Even the white people have the rednecks and the hillbillies and the white trash. For whatever reason, the shit is entertaining to me.    I wouldn’t hit the gym for wrestling. I can’t be diesel. I just want the solid gut. I want one solid piece of mass. I wouldn’t do the diesel thing. My appeal is more like Chubb Rock. I’m strong already. I don’t have to be diesel.  I know I’d be getting some ringrats if I was wrestling. That’s what they call their groupies. I don’t know how many I would get because I’m not a wrestler. I’m sure every form of entertainment has their own form of groupies. There’s only one way to find out…  I know this sounds funny, but there are girls who go only after ministers. Newsflash: Poison Pen came up in the church. I don’t know what you’re doing in church trying to screw a minister. That seems kind of counterproductive.  Freddie Foxxx would be my tag-team partner. He was already on WWE with John Cena. I would be the bad guy going after everyone I thought was weaker than me. We’d first go for Bow Wow and Pack FM.  Doing photo shoots are crazy. The project is dropping in the summer and I’m taking promo pictures now. I’m outside now because it’s real sunny outside, but what people don’t realize is that it was 27o yesterday. Due to the fact that it’s dropping in the summertime, it would look stupid if I’m out in a bubble vest and North Face. I was taking pictures outside but I couldn’t be outside in them because it would look real stupid for people to see that in mid-June. I had to do everything with a hoody on and it was mad cold outside.  You also feel like a fucking fruit. You’re out there posing and they’re telling you to “hold the smile.” The end result is proper so it is what it is. I’m not used to all that but I do have the million-dollar smile. I took some hot pictures. Around the way in the Stuy, they have a mural on Ol’ Dirty’s old block. I live right there. There’s a big mural of the whole album cover. I took some pictures by the Ol’ Dirty mural. It was kind of hot. I took a gang of pictures yesterday. Shit was mad cold.  I have to meet with my publicist Christina and pay who we have to pay for it. I have to finish up this mixtape. It’s funny how I have a mixtape album promoting a mixtape album. I think that’s kind of humorous, but whatever. At the end of the day, the mixtape is going to have newer shit than the one I’m doing on Fontana. You’re going to hear the new shit first and then you can go and get the old shit afterwards. It’s kind of funny.  We’re about to hit the road again. We’ll be out in Amherst on March 31, Boston April 1, and New Haven, CT on April 2. We’ll be a bunch of places. We’re going to be in Florida too soon, son. April 13 in Orlando. We’re going to be out in Miami April 14. It’s going to be me, Immortal Technique and Diabolic. I need people to come out. It’s going to be really, really serious. Florida always shows love. I’m not even worried about it. I could do journals entries alone off the wonderful things that happened in Florida. I could do journals only on that. I’ll also hit the beach depending on what’s on the beach.  I feel like shit, son. I’m sorry.  I was mad at 730 because I thought he edited the diarrhea part out of the journal last week. For all his Tubgirl talk, I couldn’t believe it. Then I called him and he read it back to me. He didn’t edit it out. And he sounds mad funny when he’s reading my journal back to me. Him reading my shit just sounds hilarious. He gets busy. That’s a good way to end this one.  Or, as Ice Cube would say, “Fuck all y’all.” But that’s not nice and I could never say that. http://myspace.com/poisonpen

[12] REACT TO POISON PEN'S 28th JOURNAL ENTRY

3/12/2007: Poison Pen Journal Entry #27 Hope you liked reading about my laundry last week. That was an exhilarating experience. Laundry around here in the Stuy, you get your bag back and it’s like weeding through a box of cereal to see what prize you can find. Every time I come back, there’s always something that’s not mine. I pulled out a bra one time. Sometimes I pull out baby clothes. Hey, man, in a world where we’re all addicted to convenience, it is what it is. I really want a magic wand where I can just wave and get shit done, but that won’t be available for another ten years.  I just had a meeting with my publicist tonight so we could get the publicity rolling for The Mark of the East. We’re going over a lot of things and how we’re going to market this project. Publicists are very expensive. It’s not like I’m just pressing up a CD and handing it to motherfuckers. It’s different now. Before all I had to do was be nice and record. That was it. That’s a small percentage of that now. Now you have to put out a mixtape to promote a mixtape just to hope you move a few units and get a few shows booked. It’s ridiculous. For whatever reason a few years ago, I decided this was what I wanted to do. I don’t know what made me decide that, but I’m not a quitter so it is what it is. We’re just keeping the ball rolling now.  I’m also getting my appearances up. I just worked with C.Rayz Walz for his projects and I did QN5’s Asterisk 4. Everything’s good. I just make sure that you want to listen.  I see people are already throwing shade on “Oh Snap,” the song I did with Session for QN5’s Asterisk 4. That shit comes with the territory. I’m convinced there’s a We Hate Poison Pen organization out there. Membership fees, t-shirts, weekly meetings and all that. Half these motherfuckers don’t even deserve to be on the site. My computer buzzing sounds better than these motherfuckers. And if I’m honestly that wack and if you’re not feeling me, suck my dick from the back while I’m on the toilet suffering from diarrhea. Word up. I’m supposed to quit rapping now?   I’m not the best rapper on the planet, but I gets busy. If you’re that much better, do half of what the fuck I did and then come back to me. Then say something. Word is bond. You’re not seeing me in any way, shape or form. And the funny thing is I know what people are going to say before they say it so I say it. I said it on “Oh Snap”.  Words out Poison can’t really rap/ But I can really scrap/ Don’t care where we at/ You’re fuckin dead like necrophiliacs.  If it’s not your cup of tea, that’s fine. It doesn’t really matter to me. You can read my old interviews. I rhyme for the people that want to hear that Poison Pen shit. I’m not rhyming in the hopes that you would accept me. I rhyme for the people who want to hear Poison Pen. I’m getting busy, homeboy. I’m not here to impress you. But do better. Do better, son. Outspit me on the corner or wherever. Outspit me, do more songs than me and put something out. Put something on the Audio Page of HipHopGame. You’re just mad you’re a karaoke rapper. Get the fuck out of here, son. I got better shit to worry about. You’re worrying about me and I’m worrying about how I’m going to spread this budget out. I’m worried about my release date and you’re sitting there analyzing my shit. Get a fucking grip.  I don’t go to your mother’s job and kick the dicks out of her mouth. I don’t go to your pop’s job and take the spatula out of his hand and flip the burgers for him. I don’t do that. Let me do what the fuck I do and you do whatever it is you do. Honestly, something would be wrong if nobody was talking about me, so the more people that talk shit, the better. Keep telling people how wack I am. They might be inclined to want to hear the shit themselves. Tell people that. Talk about me. Fuck it. Tell people how fucking wack I am. You’re not going to tell people how soft I am. Say what you say on the IP address. I don’t have a problem with you. Just spell my name right and don’t forget my release date.  Borat’s out on DVD this week. I don’t get it. The dude just doesn’t entertain me. There’s no deep reason behind why it doesn’t entertain me. I can watch something and chuckle, but even the Ali G shit doesn’t get me. My cousin used to try to force it on me and I would sit there and everybody was laughing and laughing and laughing and I didn’t know what the fuck we were watching. It wasn’t funny to me. I saw Da Ali G movie and I laughed at a few things, but overall, it’s not something that I would enjoy watching, but there’s things that I watch that no one understands, like Hangin’ With the Homeboys. I think they should put The Warriors on Broadway. I think they should make a musical out of Goonies. Everybody has their own opinion. Motherfuckers think Borat’s funny, I don’t. A lot of people think I’m wack, a lot of people don’t. To each his own. To be honest, I don’t even like a lot of those Wayans brothers movies and everybody likes those. The last one I can recall that I liked was Scary Movie 2.  I did go and see Reno 911: The Movie. I’m a fan of the TV show, as you probably know. Niecy Nash’s ass is wild big, son. She was wearing a bikini half of the movie. That’s a raunchy-ass flick. It wasn’t a classic. I’ve seen episodes that were better, but that brand of humor is hilarious to me. I enjoy Reno 911. That shit makes me fall out. The movie was mad short though. I bet when the DVD comes out, there’s going to be so much shit in there. When the DVD comes out, it’s going to make it worth the wait.  Let me tell you what I saw on the train. It was so hilarious. Early in the morning I had to get up and make my runs. I hopped on the A-train on Nostrand Ave. I’m standing there with my iPod on. I’m basking in the greatness of my 6,000 songs that I got on there. I’m nodding my head and the train is mad crowded in the morning. All my commuters know what it is. I’m nodding my head to Strange Fruit. It’s one of my favorite joints. Pete Rock did his thing on it. I’m nodding my head and taking in the city’s ambience. This dude in front of me is nodding his head and I reach in my pocket to change the song. I pull out my iPod and he pulls out his walkman. When I say “walkman,” I don’t mean “MP3 player” or “compact disc player.” When I say “walkman,” I mean “tape.” The dude had the nerve to pull it out of his pocket and flip the tape. Your man didn’t even have the auto-reverse. He had the three-button joint with play, fast-forward, which is really play with no volume, and stop.  I don’t know what museum that dude broke into to get that. You don’t have to have an iPod or anything because I was rocking with the CD player a few months ago. I had the CD case in my pocket pretending I had an iPod. That was me practicing for my iPod. But the dude had a tapedeck. What killed me is he didn’t even have auto-reverse. I shot dude the most confused look. I looked so confused that you could have just asked me for the square root of 933. The dude kind of had an ashamed look on his face and he sulked off. I was about to take up a donation for the dude on the train because walkman’s don’t cut it no more.  It’s crazy though. I don’t think we realize how addicted we are to convenience. If you think about it, everything we do is related to convenience. As a child, I didn’t have an answering machine. If motherfuckers called and you didn’t pick up, you had to wait for them to call back. There wasn’t email. There was a post office. It’s funny how you can’t live without things today. I remember when I got a beeper. Now if I go out of the crib without my cell phone on me, I feel like I’m dying. It’s ridiculous. Motherfuckers depend on this shit so much. Emails were always important, but now it’s so pertinent to people. It’s amazing. Unless you were born in ’92, most of us have lived life without these things. Anybody over 15 has at least lived without these things, but now it’s like you just can’t. It’s amazing to me. It’s fucking crazy. I’m going to take it back and get a rotary cell phone with no camera.  Motherfuckers are so lazy. An hour to develop film is too long for niggas now. It’s crazy. I mean, there were cell phones when I was a kid but they were the big ol’ New Jack City shits. I never used to carry one on me. That was a big deal. Now it’s like I NEED this. Motherfuckers don’t even have home phones no more. They just have cell phones. I have three cell phones. I’m back to three but they’re free for me so it doesn’t matter.  Shout out to my man Prime. He sent me his new mixtape Class Is In Session. I like what I’ve heard so far.  Pumpkinhead is just mad that I stole his Avirex jacket in 2001 and never gave it back to him. That jacket has been handed down to every member of Emveez since and he’s never gotten it back. That dude sits there and practices snaps to say to me. That Forest Whitaker line he used is from 2001 as well. He’s recycling lines just to get cheap laughs. He can use premeditated snaps and throw rocks at the journaling throne, but I have half a bar for Pumpkinhead – Get a life.  HipHopGame needs to give him a journal to get him out of my hair. Give him a journal, some Altoids and some clothes that fit and he’ll be all right. You give Pumpkinhead Halloween and now he wants to take Easter and April Fool’s Day. He can’t get enough. Whatever, Pumpkinhead.  I’m pretty sure there will be more attempts from other rappers to try to Tonya Harding my journaling hand so I can’t write no more, but I will prevail.   Here’s Diabolic’s journal:    I got drunk. I got into a fight. I wrote a rhyme. The end  What’s a Pumpkinhead journal?    I did a song. I did a show. Nobody likes me. The end.  Who the fuck wants to read that bullshit? Give me a fucking break.  The more people that keep subjournals, the merrier. That’s all I can say on that. The subjournal is like a bonus cut on the album when you think it’s over.  I do these journals to give people something to laugh at during their day of work when they hate their boss or when they’re chilling. I got a lot to say and I can’t help it. I like to hold court. That’s what I do for a living.  The mixtape’s coming soon. Mix and master your music so it doesn’t sound like you recorded it at a McDonald’s drive-thru. I’m out. I have this strange yearning for dry toast. Don’t ask. http://myspace.com/poisonpen

[67] REACT TO POISON PEN'S 27th JOURNAL ENTRY

3/5/2007: Poison Pen Journal Entry #26 I’m cleaning up in preparation for the housekeeper. She doesn’t need to know how I really live. I’m going to the Laundromat to pick up my clothes too. Shit is crazy right now. It’s funny because I’m going to pick up a 40-pound bag of clothes and I’m dropping off another one. They’re all white tee’s. So how the fuck have you been?  We are grinding out with this BARS DVD shit. Our podcast game is stupendous. Check it out at http://barsdvdradio.podomatic.com. Amplafire is a genius, yo.  I went to Atlantic City and got my ass whooped at the fucking table at Bally’s. Then I came back with a vengeance. I was playing Spanish blackjack and within an hour and change I lost my shirt. Then I went to the 40/40 and 9th Wonder was spinning. My man Sha from Corona invited me out. I finally felt like I could win my money back so I went back to the casino at 3 in the morning and I guess my wishes came true because I won my money back. I guess that’s kind of sad when you’re happy you break even. I didn’t really do anything too crazy there though.  I’ve been celibate. I’m keeping my penis in my pants. I love the ladies but I’m not stressing it. I love the twat, the triangle, the box, furburgers…I love that twilla, the snatch, the choch, the cock pocket…I can go on for days.   I’ve actually been trying to get my situation straight with Fontana so I’m not really stressing all this female shit right now. I’ll be good. Maybe I’ll wait until marriage (right). What’s wrong with waiting until marriage? There’s nothing wrong with that.  I could watch Jennifer Hudson perform in slow motion over and over again, honestly. She’s a sight to see. She’s a wonderful specimen. It’s funny that everyone’s saying she didn’t thank American Idol at the Oscars, but they kicked her off. In essence, you probably wouldn’t have heard of her if it weren’t for that, but I would be salty too and I wouldn’t want to thank them either. American Idol didn’t give her Dreamgirls. That was acting. That was a role she played and it was a period role which is more difficult than a regular role in modern times. American Idol helped put her name in people’s mouths, but she’s the one that made it happen. Respect to Jennifer Hudson and if she reads the journal, hopefully I won’t be celibate for much longer.  I’m just clowning. I think she’s a beautiful lady and she has her head on straight. I love smuts as much as the next man, but I do have younger brothers and sisters. I’m not saying she’s an angel and everybody has a raunchy side, but her positive side is what shines. She seems to be a good role model. Respect to Jennifer Hudson. Keep up the good work.  Eddie Murphy was upset, but if you want an Oscar, don’t do a bullshit movie during Oscars season. You can’t do a trash movie like Norbit and expect to get an award.  You caught the domestic Pen tonight. Even hooligans have to wash their drawers sometime. Actually I’m just dropping off my laundry.  It’s funny how everybody is running the city now, but the last one to really run the city was Biggie. I don’t get it, but I guess people like hearing that shit. Juvenile said a hot line on his album when he said, “Everybody wants to be the king something/I guess I’m the king of hustling.” You can be the king, the mayor, the emperor, but I’m the borough president. I walk around and hug the ladies and kiss the babies. I’m helping the old ladies across the street. That’s what I do. And I’ll have sex with them in about 40 years. I don’t do the granny sex. That’s fucking disgusting. Fuck.  I’m writing in the journal as I’m carrying my laundry so I can’t throw it on my back like I normally do.  I have to send shouts out to Athens, Greece and South Africa. A lot of South Africans read this shit, son. South Africa is in the building. Shouts out to South Africa. Shouts out to my man P.Casso.  I’ve been taking a hiatus from doing shows in New York and I haven’t been performing much anywhere because we have a nationwide tour coming up. I naturally have the urge to spit because I’m an MC, so I just spit at my people’s shows. My man L.I.F.E.long had a show with Akir the other night and I was chilling, supporting my brothers. But damn, son, I’m in there with a fifth because Pen stays with a fifth. Everybody who knows me knows you don’t call me on stage after I’ve been drinking. L.I.F.E. calls me on stage for an impromptu remix and I spit a rhyme from 1999. I spit six bars, stopped. Another three bars, stopped. Then I finished with eight bars. People seemed to like it so it wasn’t a bad look. When I get drunk I start to ramble, so I grabbed the mic when Akir was rocking and I started rambling. Then Akir had to hit me on the back and I spit a verse before stumbling out of the place. I didn’t ask everyone to go streaking with me though.  Then I went to a party my dude Karneige threw where Evil Dee was spinning. I didn’t realize there were two bars in the place. I’m standing there for ten minutes waiting for a bartender. When I realized there was no bartender there, I kind of hopped over the bar and grabbed a bottle myself. Them Evil Dee got off the turntables and asked me not to steal bottles. After a few minutes of apologizing and sulking, I put the bottle back. I was going to pay. Maybe I should have put some money down on the bar. I woulda copped it, but there was no bartender. I guess that kind of justifies it in a way, but when your colleagues are working, it can make you look bad. Watch how you steal or maybe don’t steal. It is a Commandment. If you’re going to steal, don’t get caught.  It’s funny that somebody named Evil told me not to steal. You know you’re doing something wrong when somebody named Evil tells you to stop.  I know Evil Dee didn’t want to mess his event up. I used to do the same thing. I would break up fights even though I’m not the most peaceful dude on the earth. I do advocate people having common sense, so that’s kind of like advocating peace. I would jump in the middle of fights to break them up because if the event doesn’t happen, I don’t get paid. I remember one time at the Lion, Papoose and his people tried to kill this dude in the club and I didn’t know the brothers like that, but I jumped in the middle to simmer things down. I was trying to get paid! Niggas shut shit down, there goes my rent money. I’m about my paper, son. I like to stay draped in nice things. I like things. I love nice things.  I see that Brooklyn Ac has a new song up on HipHopGame. That shit is bananas, but I think it would have been better if Pumpkinhead just did the adlibs and got his Freaky Tah on or something. He grates my soul. It’s like when a teacher scrapes her nails against a chalkboard, that’s Pumpkinhead rapping. The song is my ringtone but as soon as Pumpkinhead starts rapping, it stops. Pumpkinhead bothers me. He wants to keep his subjournal in my journal.  Stronghold just did a song for Killah Priest’s album. That’s going to be hot. I don’t think there’s ever been one song with all of Stronghold on it, Immortal Technique included. We did a song called “Fire Rain” for his album. We should do a HipHopGame Battle of the Journals.   I’m about to drink some Cuervo to celebrate doing my laundry and walking up and down the block and coming back in one piece. You have to pause for the cause.  I’m going to be doing the video for “Who Are You” and “Stoopid.” I also have the deal with Fontana and Universal. That’s cool. I’m happy that everything came together. When you do things yourself, even though I have people helping me, it’s hard. We had to grind out to get this deal. That’s cool because when you work hard yourself, the payoff is ten-fold. I got paid and I got a budget behind me. It’s not crazy but it’s better than what I had. These deals don’t grow on trees, especially in this climate where nobody is selling records. Hip-hop is the voice of the youth but only two artists went platinum last year. Everybody’s online and everybody’s downloading. Getting a deal is a tough task.  Fontana/Universal is a good look. We just hope it works out according to plan. Hopefully everyone will be entertained by it. I’m not the type to say I hustle and I rap. I’m proud to be an MC and I lived this hip-hop life a very long time. It’s great when you can make money off your love. I do make money off my love. Everybody has more than one hustle, but honestly saying, my love is hip-hop and that is very, very real. There’s no health benefits here, but hip-hop really paid my bills and I’m very happy to say that. And that’s with people hating and only a few thousand people knowing who I am! When the project drops, we’ll see how far it goes. I left those Cleopatra people alone. They’re a rock label anyway. They still owe me a check too. I will collect when I touch down in southern California. Trust me. Pick Your Poison: The Mark Of The East in stores 5-29-07 http://myspace.com/poisonpen

[18] REACT TO POISON PEN'S 26th JOURNAL ENTRY

2/16/2007: Poison Pen Journal Entry #25 First of all, let me give a shout to my man Inf from Inf Designs. My man designs some ill apparel and today’s his born day. He gave me a few hoodies and I’ma rock them in the journal. We’re going to toast it up and do it up the right way.   Everybody’s been hitting me about the last journal and if the female in the last journal was true. I promise you, I don’t make things up. These things really happen. I have other things to do than to sit around and think about things to write in the journal. I lead an interesting life. I swear, if the cameras followed me, I would be a reality TV star, guaranteed. The things that happen to me are too amazing.  I’m working on getting some clothes other than white tee’s. It’s a gradual progression. I’ll post a picture with something else on.  730 said somebody told him we should collaborate on a journal. If Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson could do it in 1985, then we can do it this year. We can stop all the blog hate on the web. It’ll be like Bloods and Crips banging on wax if we came together to do the journal. It would be for the union of people. I don’t think anything like that has ever happened before.  I’m popping these Airbornes like they’re candy. They’re a lozenge. It stops you from getting a cold before you get it. If you feel like you’re getting it, you pop these. They’re like Alka-Seltzer and you have to let it dissolve. It basically fights germs in your body. If you feel a cold coming on and you have the early symptoms, pop these every three hours. I pop these like a motherfucker. Every time I get on a plane, I take these. If you’re already sick, it’s a wrap, but if you’re a little buggy, this will help you. You never know who has the Black Plague and the clap.  If you leave milk out for a week it looks disgusting.  By the way, these Airbornes taste like flat soda.  I should have gone into the field of medicine with all this advice I’m giving you. I could be a medicine man with a bunch of home remedies. I am an oral gynecologist already.  If you were wondering, we didn’t go crazy when Nems got out. He has to honor his situation, so we decided to drink for him. The Bed Stuy Best Buy got him no girls since his girl was waiting, so it’s all gravy.  Don’t ask me to pick sides between G-Unit and the Diplomats. All those motherfuckers have more money than me. Millionaires beefing, give me a break! It’s whatever. Shit, if I had that much money, I wouldn’t be getting at anybody. I would be the most polite motherfucker in the world. The videos are humorous though.  Cuuuuuurtis! “Funeral Music” was tough.  It’s looking like WWE right now.   That’s one of the things with New York. As long as shit like that keeps happening, New York isn’t ever going to be back on top because everybody wants to bring everybody else down. Niggas in the South hardly ever do that in the public eye. Of course there are some exceptions, but for the most part, all the big artists in the South support each other. You would never know if they didn’t like each other. It’s just funny that everybody up here wants to beef with each other. If you’re getting money, great. I’m not the beef-on-wax-type of dude. It’s whatever. That shit doesn’t matter to me. To each his own…  I personally like a gang of Cam records and a gang of 50 records.  All this beefing is bugged out. Just do you and let them do them. If son has money and you have money, congratulations. I don’t have any. They’d laugh at the deal I got. Get the fuck out of here. I could buy a car, but it’d be a hooptie like a mufukka. These guys beefing with each other, come on, dude. These niggas throwing money around in videos are beefing and I’m trying to keep my lights on and stop my ceiling from leaking.  Bow Wow’s Valentine’s Day MySpace video contest was brilliant. I’m going to do that next year. Thanks, Bow Wow, for the idea. Maybe I’ll do that tomorrow. Bow Wow is a midget sex symbol. Chicks love that dude and all those other questionable-sexuality-looking motherfuckers from Miami, Pretty Ricky. That Scream Tour is some hardbody money, son.  I’m going to organize my own Scream Tour. There’s going to be a bunch of little clones dissing the real Scream acts, since beef is in now. I’m also going back on the road in a couple months. That’s going to be great. We’re going to be doing a nationwide tour.  Time for some more Airbornes, son.  Pick Your Poison: The Mark Of The East in stores 5-29-07 http://myspace.com/poisonpen

[14] REACT TO POISON PEN'S 25th JOURNAL ENTRY

2/9/2007: Poison Pen Journal Entry #24 What’s poppin? I’ve been living and breathing. I viewed the Turnover (Super) Bowl and I’m enjoying this Arctic Chill weather. We got homeless people freezing on their park benches right now. I’m outside pissing and it froze before it hit the ground. It’s not real healthy but we’re all getting through it. Dress in layers! Honestly, I’m happy it’s cold because it was 70 degrees last month and it’s supposed to be brisk. It’s wintertime. It’s great to see winter. As long as I have heat in my crib, I’m good money.  I got tickets to see that Eddie Murphy flick. I got tickets to an advance screening of the Eddie Murphy flick. The flick was horrendous, by the way. I’m not even going to get into it. I’m a little disturbed that this is the third movie he’s playing a fat, black woman. I think he’s trying to slowly come out of the closet. It’s kind of disturbing. I thought his time was up when he got caught driving a transvestite hooker home because “she needed a ride.” People let that slide for years the same way they forgot about R.Kelly pissing on a girl once he made some hot records. I think Eddie Murphy has a fat, black woman inside of him waiting to come out.  I personally think that it’s an alarming trend that every black comedian that wants to be accepted by the mainstream feels the urge to dress like a woman. It personally disturbs me. If you’re funny dressed as a man, what’s this drag shit about? I have my own theories on that situation, but whatever. That’s too deep.  Look at Martin Lawrence, the Wayans brothers and even Chris Rock. Jamie Foxx played a woman. I never saw Jerry Seinfeld play a woman. I never saw Tim Allen play a woman. I remember the Chris Rock movie but I can’t think about it. It wasn’t pretty. A man in drag is never pretty, but this one was particularly unpretty.  I went to a Super Bowl party the other day. I saw something that I have never seen before. I’m not going to mention any names and I’m not going to mention where I was at. Let’s just say it was a place I was at. People that know Pen know the places I frequent. Let’s just say I was at a place for the Super Bowl and at said place, said entertainers were doing assorted things. Let’s just leave it that. And I thought I saw it all. I thought I saw it all.  Let’s just say that I’ve seen a lot. I’ve been going to uh, let’s just say gentlemen establishments since 1995. It’s 2007 now. Let’s just say I’ve been going to these spots for awhile. I’m not just talking about spots with poles. I’m talking about anything goes spots.  This one girl, she came out on stage and she’s doing her thing, showing her shit off and dancing. To make a long story short, she pulls out some lube. It was some fucking KY or whatever the fuck it was that she had. She starts rubbing it on herself and she pulls out a flashlight. A regular flashlight. She puts a condom on the flashlight and she proceeds to insert the flashlight in her orifice. No, her whole body did not light up. She puts the flashlight in her shit and she leaves it there. You know what the fuck she does with her flashlight with no hands? She turned the flashlight on!  I’m not even finished. Everybody was going, “Ohhhhh!” Then she throws the flashlight at this motherfucker. She threw the flashlight. She shot it out of her fun box! Yo! The shit flew. It hit this dude in the face. I can’t make this shit up. I’m not even finished. Then after that, mind you, that was one thing I had never seen before, she grabs a guy. It was just some random dude. Of course he wanted to be a part of the show. She puts him on a table and puts a blindfold on him. I bet dude thought he was gonna pipe shorty down. Hell to the naw! She takes his shirt off and lays him on the table. She had these two candles that are lit. So the dude is blindfolded, laying on the table, and she takes the hot candle wax and pours it on this dude. She turns him over and pours it on his back. Mind you, it’s lit. She takes the shit and pours it off her tongue onto the dude’s body. How the fuck do you put hot candle wax on your tongue? Whatever. BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE! She then proceeds to go and grab this can. It was like shaving cream. It was some shit. She sprays it on dude. She sprays it in little hearts on the dude. Yes, she sprayed it with her hands. Then she gets a fucking lighter. Dog, she lit the shit on fire, son. Do you hear me, son? Son, she lit the shit on fire!  I’m still not finished. Then she turns him over and does it on his back. In hindsight, what happened was the candle wax she poured on the dude acted like a buffer. She was like the Criss Angel of the adult entertainment world, yo. I didn’t see dude jumping like he was on a barbecue or nothing. The shit lit up and she blew it out. Needless to say, there was still a fire on the dude. I guess the candle wax just kind of blocked it. The dude wasn’t burnt or nothing. He just got up and that was that. Tell me that wasn’t some shit, son. I’ma book shorty for the next run of Universoul Circus out this bitch. I look at that, said, “Ouch.” None of that for me, son.  Ouch. My chain is caught in my hair.  I also went to the Pyramid for the End of the Weak festivities. Later on I got up with Persia from the White Rapper Show. She performed and I performed after her. She was pretty decent. She’s definitely the best motherfucker on that show. I don’t know if she’s still on it. Don’t even tell me if she is. I’m watching it tonight.  I got up with her and she wanted to do a song. I fucking rocked that night. She was with my dude Iron Sheik. I stepped off the stage after one of my, you know, award-winning, liquor fueled, ridiculous performances, she ran up to me saying, “We have to do a joint together.” She was mad amped. I was like, Let’s go.  730 told me he ran into Spike Lee down in Miami and ran up on dude to get a picture. Spike declined. He didn’t call him all sorts of racist terms for white folks, but I’m pretty sure he knows some good ones.  I met Spike Lee once. It was nothing major. I was in the Village in Manhattan. Spike Lee is a brother from Brooklyn doing his thing as far as cinema and black people and whatever, whatever. That’s Spike Lee. I was a fan. He does some great cinema.  Where I saw him was not the ‘hood by any means. The corner of 6th Ave and 8th St. in Greenwich Village. Where I was, there could be a bunch of rappers on the corner. There could be a bunch of homos on the corner. And hell, there could be a bunch of homo rappers on the corner. I was walking up towards Electric Lady and he was walking towards me. You know me. I’m the type of person who speaks to people. Everybody knows Poison Pen is a jovial, Santa Claus-type motherfucker.  I’m not going to run up on you and go crazy and ask for an autograph. I was cool with nodding my head at the dude and keeping it moving. The only autograph I ever got is Kane’s when I was 10 years-old and I have a Flavor Flav and Rob Base.  So I’m walking down the block and he’s walking towards me. I said, “Whaddup, Spike, how you doing?” on some real cool shit. This motherfucker looked in my eyes and had the look of fear. I can’t even say this motherfucker ran across the street. “Ran” isn’t the right word. He almost got hit by cars.  And I was standing there looking like an idiot. You’re doing all this pro-black stuff but you’re scared of a young, black man trying to give you respect. I wasn’t even acting a fool. I just stuck out my hand. This dude ran like I had that thing on me! I can’t take him serious. I just extended my hand for a pound and to give you respect. Ever since then, I’ve seen Spike Lee as a sucker. A man that is so pro-black, so Bed Stuy and so for the people can’t say “whaddup” to a brother in the street without thinking I’m going to steal his purse. He could have had a purse the way he acted. But, you know, whatever. Power to the people. He still has classic flicks. I’ll still support a dope flick of his. And nobody likes Pumpkinhead. They tolerate Pumpkinhead. They tolerate Pumpkinhead to get to me.  Will I ever let anyone else jack a journal from me? Nobody’s ever jacked a journal from me. I allowed Pumpkinhead to get some shine because I’m a giving person. That was journal charity. I’m a very nice guy. You can see it in my smile in the pictures.  Speaking of which, I have to take some new pictures. I noticed one thing in the pictures. There is one common trend in every picture. I don’t know if you noticed it, but there is one thing that remains the same with every picture. There is one thing that remains constant in every picture. The sunglasses are my prescription. And I’m not drunk in every picture. I’m drunk in a few of them, but that’s not what it is.    What is it? I got a white t-shirt on in every picture. I looked at it and I said, “Damn. I got a real big wardrobe. Why am I only wearing this? I have to change the fuck up for the next picture.” It freaking looks like my wardrobe is mad limited or the only thing that comes in my size is a white t-shirt. They make other colored moomoos. They are crispy every trip though. They’re very, very crispy.  Shouts to the Slauson Swap Meet and the Pro Club t’s. This journal has kept me laced with a lot of free porn. The journal is treating me well enough. I got into a clubs free. I got free drinks at the bar. I never expected this level of success from the journal. It’s funny because when I perform and people say my name, they ask if I’m the same guy that writes for HipHopGame. I’m like, Yeah, that’s me. “You’re a funny motherfucker.” Thanks. I don’t know why everybody thinks I’m so funny. I don’t think I’m that funny actually. Well, I think I’m humorous. I need a password for ScoreLand. That’s what I need. If anybody has a password for ScoreLand, let me know. A box of Newports and Puma sweats are in it for you. The laptop is gone. The Genesis and VCR are also gone.  Pumpkinhead just called and asked to do the journal. I told him he could write his journal in my comment section. http://myspace.com/poisonpen

[20] REACT TO POISON PEN'S 24th JOURNAL ENTRY

1/26/2007: Poison Pen Journal Entry #23 North Carolina was decent. By the time y’all read this, my boy Nems will be home. We’re throwing a big party for him at The Knitting Factory. I’ll be glad to see my dude back. I hope he stays on this side of the walls and maintains and does what he has to do. We’re going to make sure he’s straight when he comes out.  Back to North Carolina. That was a very interesting trip.  Shout to J.U. and Champion. I couldn’t check into the hotel because a Clint Black concert was here and him and his whole entourage had the whole facility on lock. I had to go to seven different hotels. I had no idea how heavy Clint Black was. Shout out to Clint Black. I’ll have him write the journal next week.  I was supposed to get up with Chaundon and record but we didn’t do that. I just kicked back and relaxed being I didn’t out of town for my Vegas fiasco. We just took some time and chilled.  As I check my MySpace and peruse these emails, I see an alarming trend on YouTube. A lot of rappers are getting punched in the face on camera. There are a few things I have to say about this. There are a few people out there doing their thing and I realize that there are a lot of good characters in hip-hop, but just because you’re thugged out, it does not mean you’re nice. I’ve seen a few different videos of rappers getting punched in the head when they’re rapping. Anytime you get sucker-punched, it’s not a good look. Does that make you a better rapper if you can sucker-punch someone?  It’s also started a new inside joke to everybody on the internet where people get mad when they’re “stylin’” on you. People are mad their rhymes aren’t nice and if motherfuckers are rapping, I saw this one instance where one kid got too close and touched him with his hat. I would have told him to back off me too. All these other instances are rappers getting punched in the face and these dudes are getting real extra with it and real overzealous.   What’s the next thing you’re going to do? A snuff film? Are you going to shoot motherfuckers and put it on the internet? Where do we go from here?  The most ignorant shit in the world is when somebody rings your bell and they already have the keys. Fucking idiots.   Anyway, I don’t know what you can do next to prove that you’re tough other than murking somebody on tape and putting it on the internet. What these fools don’t realize is that they’re making us look worse. We already get looked at as buffoons and idiots as it is. I might not be the picture of perfect and positive in society, but motherfuckers are running around with the word “Ape” (Bape hoodies) on their chest acting like wild savages. We fought to not be called simians. Let’s be real. Sometimes you have to scrap, but come on. If you’re battle rapping, leave it to the rhymes. I’ve scrapped at shows, I’ve fought on-stage and I’ve brawled in audiences. At the end of the day, that was all provoked. I never planned to punch somebody in the face.  And if I got drama with somebody, I’m not going to be spitting verses with him. This isn’t back in the days when we can go to the park and b-boy it off. It ain’t like that no more. If we got drama, we’re going to handle it in our ways. But if you got drama with somebody, don’t rap with them. These motherfuckers who are just rapping are playing themselves. Half the time the motherfuckers don’t even know the punch is coming. Anyone can drop anyone with a sucker-punch. Who cares? Fuck all that bullshit.   And let’s not get it twisted. This shit is very entertaining. I’ve been watching these for weeks and it’s got me on the floor in the crib. But we get looked at in a bad enough light as it is. Motherfuckers are getting beat up at awards shows and clapped up at parties. Can we make music? Sometimes you don’t have a choice, but a lot of the time you do have a choice. Avoid it if you can. Even if you win, you’re going to wake up in the morning feeling like you lost.   I’ve been watching other DVD’s and there are dudes getting props for being bullies. I know plenty of dudes who are big in the street and they’re not on there. A lot of rap isn’t real. I don’t spit bullshit. I’m rowdy, I get drunk and sometimes we fight, but that’s not all that I am. It’s like, I see you’re a G, but now you’re making records? You got people scared of you but your records still suck. Now when your album drops, I have to buy it now because you’re real in the hood? Who cares? You’re real. Let’s keep it moving. At the end of the day, as a man, you should be real. You should stand for what you stand for. I didn’t know being real warranted a record deal and allowed you to rap. I’d rather take the dude who’s obviously an entertainer. If you’re spitting entertainment and you don’t believe that shit, but you’re spitting a story and it sounds good, then I’ll listen to it. I don’t want to hear somebody with a story who doesn’t know how to tell it. Not everybody is meant to rap.  Who cares if you’re a thug?    Punching somebody on the face and robbing them and putting it on the internet is the most ass-backwards shit nowadays. Nowadays people snitch on themselves. A lot of these dudes might be on the streets but they have no street smarts. A lot of these idiots can’t even cover up their own shit. It’s stupid. Whatever.  Pumpkinhead is crying because he couldn’t join me for this journal. Pumpkinhead is banned from HipHopGame. I want to send a shout out to all the people that spammed him. Spam Pumpkinhead as much as humanly possible. Send him as many gay porn links as possible. 730, send him Tubgirl. Thanks for that.  My dinner’s getting cold.  I haven’t seen Ariel in a week so we’re neutral right now. I haven’t recorded in like two weeks so it’s all good right now. It’s good until he acts up again.  If Nems wants a bunch of girls when he gets out, he’s got it. Whatever he wants, he gets. I see him Thursday night and if he wants me to get him some hoes, that’s what he’s going to get.  I have access to a lot of things. I’m the Bed Stuy Best Buy. You can get your extended Poison Pen warranty and ‘round the clock service as long as you put money in my pocket. I’m going to make sure the Bed Stuy Best Buy exceeds whatever standards you may have.  My cousin wants me to call somebody a faggot in the journal because he knows it gets around everywhere. He can type it in the comments section. Somebody’s a faggot.  But whatever you need, I got you. I got some things I need to get off right now. I got the Todd MacFarlane Spiderman’s. I got a Movado for sale. I got a Sega Genesis in a box right now. I got a laptop and some cable boxes.  I got the Criminal Minded wax with the songs spelled wrong.  I got the “I’m Bout It” t-shirt signed by Master P with the copper dog tag included. If you’re an aficionado and a collector, I got those. For the old heads, I got about four VCR’s. I got the first season of Sanford and Son still sealed. I got about four pairs of Timbs. I got the Italian leather Air Force 1’s in the box, crispy.  I got some street signs. Whatever you need, I got access to it. I might change up from the Bed Stuy Best Buy to the BK eBay.  If you want to make an offer, hit me on the MySpace. If you really sound legit like you really want to get something, I might give you my real email so we can work it out.  My dinner’s getting cold. http://myspace.com/poisonpen

[11] REACT TO POISON PEN'S 23rd JOURNAL ENTRY

1/19/2007: Poison Pen Journal Entry #22 I’m very disappointed. As you all know, I was scheduled to be in Vegas for the AVN Awards and the Convention and for a few meetings and other assorted activities that I won’t mention on the website. My boy didn’t pick us up at the crib on time. He came to pick us up at the time we were supposed to be at the airport. We got to the airport a little late and we figured we could board the next flight, but then we were told that it would cost more than the cost of the original ticket just to upgrade to the next day. We didn’t think it was worth it so we didn’t go. It would have been decent. I would like to thank all my people that were out there antagonizing me with the picture mails and the text messages and the video mails of all sorts of sordid acts. I appreciate the love and what you do to friends. I’m pretty sure I’m going to get a few postcards in the mail too.  I had to drown my sorrows this weekend. I saw my boy Torae from the Coalescence perform with Skyzoo. It wasn’t Las Vegas but it was cool nevertheless. Stimuli was there. It was a cool event. I laid back and got a few drinks. I did my partying thing for the rest of the week and basically tried to look like I was in Vegas even though I was in New York and New Jersey. There you go. I didn’t go to Vegas, therefore I don’t have any wild stories to tell.  I‘m going to North Carolina this weekend with J.U. I promise I will have a wild story for next time because I know people want to hear stories like that. I do my best to appease my loyal supporters.  Me and Pumpkinhead are working on this song for Domingo’s album. I’m writing this as I’m writing that song. It’s coming out hot so far. We’re going to finish that tonight.  I’d like to make a disclaimer right here and right now to all people who I do songs with and all people whose albums I appear on. If I do a song with you and especially if I cut you with the homie rate, the least your ass can do is give me a damn copy of the fucking CD. I mean, shit, is that too much to ask for, son? I’m on motherfucking albums and I have to go to Best Buy. I have no problem supporting, but I shouldn’t have to buy something that I’m on, especially after I give you the homie rate. If you don’t support your own, you can’t expect anybody to support you, but you have to give the person the finished product. I think that’s disrespectful. That’s the least that you could do for someone who gives you the homie rate. You can’t tell motherfuckers, “I’m going to send it to you!” Those are the little things that grow into large mountains and make me not want to work with you. I keep these things in the back of my head and the next time you need something, I might not be as accommodating.   The problem is I’m not an industry dude. I’m a regular guy in every way, shape and form. That industry shit doesn’t apply to me at all. Just keep it funky and keep it 100. I expect you to live up to your word. I understand unforeseen situations, but that doesn’t apply to putting a CD in a mailbox.  I’m still waiting on my copy of the Molemen album and those beats. Fuck it, I won’t hold my breath.  Another thing that bugs me is cosigning. I blame it on consumers not being educated. Unfortunately, it doesn’t matter now if you’re dope or if you’re wack. It’s all based on who you’re affiliated with and who you run with. It matters who your boss, brother and homie is. It’s fucked up when you can’t just come in the game and fly on your own merits. Unless a person allegedly cosigns you and writes your rhymes, it doesn’t mean anything. That’s why I laugh when consumers are that way. It’s like, Fuck it. You have to do it yourself.   I did my project and of course being affiliated with Immortal Technique, I’m pretty sure that plays a part in people listening to me. He doesn’t write my rhymes. I’m a grown-ass man. We support each other. People don’t understand that. I read comments like “Immortal Technique signed Poison Pen.” We’re grown men. Son never signed me. I got Immortal Technique on the album because we’re family. If that garners extra attention, I’m not mad at that. Now more people will look at that. But at the end of the day, if you look at who executive-produced that shit, you see “Poison Pen.” I’m the one that controls my own destiny. I’m the one who writes my rhymes. I’m the one that puts myself in the studio. Nobody A&R’d my shit. I know how to hold a microphone and I know how to project on stage. Of course I’m not perfect, but I studied the game and I have learned.    Pardon me, I have to flush the toilet. I’m in the Oval Office.  Hey, it’s I Love New York. My boy Trends has been eliminated for giving out his CD’s. He only made it to the second episode. Dammit, son!  We were all solo artists before we were working together. I’m not nobody’s protégé. I’m not Sean Price’s protégé. I’m not Immortal Technique’s protégé. I’m Poison Pen. Nobody put Poison Pen on. Nobody executive-produces Poison Pen’s shit. I own my own masters and I still get paid. If you want to look deeper into it, that’s on you. We come from two different cloths, but we’re from the same mind. Our music is nothing alike. That’s my brother and I think he’s one of the best dudes out, period. I know I hold a spot in his heart, but he’s going to do him and I’m going to do me, regardless of if we roll with each other or not. That’s not going to stop him from completing his project and that’s not going to stop me from completing my project. We hold each other down. I don’t have a protégé or a young gun. Fuck all of that. Poison Pen has been on the scene since high school. I’ve been on the scene. It’s 2007. Anyway, whatever. Fuck all that.   We’ll see what’s what. Let the music speak for itself before you see who gives the thumbs-up for it. I remember when Jay-Z was talking about Memphis Bleek being the new and improved Jay-Z. I don’t think anybody believed that. I don’t even think Jay-Z believed that. That put more pressure on Memphis Bleek and it hurt him, even though he gets busy, in my opinion. That cosigning shit hurts you. I have to believe you’re dope. You can’t shove an artist down somebody’s throat and make everybody bite. It’s not going to happen. At the end of the day, if people like you, they’re going to purchase your shit.  Sometimes we do the road-trip thing and I’m going down to North Carolina to find myself. Maybe find out the meaning of life. I’m going down there so I could find me a Zaxby’s and partake in some of those chicken fingers and that toast they got. I might check my man Breez. I’m pretty sure I’ll be drunk. And that’s that.  These journals get me in trouble.  That New York show is entertaining. I find it funny that she thinks guys aren’t good enough for her. How good do you really have to be for New York. She talks about not disrespecting her in her mansion. I didn’t know she had a mansion. You didn’t have a mansion in Flavor of Love. You must have had a great financial windfall between the last episode of Flavor of Love and the first episode of I Love New York. I only watched it to keep up with my man Trends.   The moral of the week is if you’re traveling somewhere, make sure you have your own itinerary. That’s definitely the moral of the week because you could end up assed out, sitting on the curb when you should be flying in the air. Then that dude that has those standby tickets is in your seat, eating your roasted peanuts, drinking your apple juice, & setting up a date with that chick sitting in the row in front of him.   I actually have a surprise for you this week. I’m going to give you something special. Ladies and gentlemen, I now present to you the one and only Pumpkinhead. Let me go get him. He’s watching I Love New York.  (Pumpkinhead takes the pen from Poison Pen in a pen-passing ceremony)  What’s up, HipHopGame? For everyone out there wondering, Halloween is not my favorite holiday. 730 always asks me that so I had to address that. I hate that holiday. That’s not why I’m Pumpkinhead! My mom gave me that name because I was hard-headed when I was a kid. I’m sorry if that’s like finding out Santa Claus isn’t real and if I messed up your childhood dreams.  I’m maintaining. I’m going through a lot of personal issues right now. I’m trying to keep my head above water. I think change is good. I’m going through a lot of changes. My New Year’s didn’t start out so well. My grandmother passed away on New Year’s Eve. She was a pillar in my life and she’s gone now.  I’m still making music and working on the Brooklyn Academy album. Pen is complaining in the background. Anyways, I’m working on the Brooklyn Ac album and that’s about it.  Hanging out with Poison Pen can get annoying when he falls asleep and starts snoring. He snores very loud. He also gets drunk and spits on my hand. He gets belligerently drunk and passes out and you try to wake him up and that’s the thanks you get. That’s the only annoying thing about him. He bought me my dinner tonight. He bought me a chicken burrito so that’s a good guy.  Walking around with Poison Pen is actually pretty cool. It just looks like he’s my security. He looks like a big, ghetto FBI undercover security agent in the ‘hood.  We’re really pushing the Brooklyn Academy thing right now because we want to focus on that. We don’t want to do the solo thing right now. I might let a couple of songs leak here and there. I’m working on some things with Illmind, who’s signed to G-Unit. Me and him are working little by little on an album. There will definitely be some heavy, rapid-artillery lines coming out even though I’m trying out new styles and new flows.  What else is going on with PH? My son is now 3 years-old and I have a new baby boy who’s 2 months old. His name is Royce. I’m being a family man. I’m spending a lot of time with my family and trying to better myself in life. I’m trying to get back into my healthy ways. I’m trying to stop eating the fast food. Hopefully midway through February I’ll be a vegetarian. We’ll see what happens. I need to get healthy.  I used to play a lot of sports. I played baseball for 15 years and then I played a little football here and there. I was always in shape and healthy. It’s very true that when you have kids, the man gains weight too. Hanging out with Poison Pen is also not a way to lose weight. He’s always eating. He always has a bag of the soft-baked cookies in his mouth. He’s always got the snacks in his pocket and his hands are always greasy. It’s impossible. I’m trying to lose weight and out of nowhere comes Poison Pen asking me, “You want a Twinkie, son?”   I haven’t seen Pen carry any tots in his pocket yet. He’s carried a couple of fishsticks in his pocket, but no tots.  I think Napoleon Dynamite is a funny-ass movie. It’s one of my favorites. It’s not like blatant, hysterical comedy. It’s dry humor. Whoever can catch the dry sense of humor, it’s going to be a crazy movie for them. It’s a great flick. It’s going to be a classic.  I have never hung an action figure out of the bus on a string and watched it bounce on the road, but I have taken He-Man and tied it to my yoyo string and dropped it out of my fourth floor window to knock on the third floor window. That was about two weeks ago.  I’ve known Pen since high school and Tech gets more shout outs. I’m jealous.  Here’s something for you. Pen didn’t get girls in high school because he was too busy slapping stickers on walls and being a street team member to bang chicks. I’m sure he got his fair share. He just admitted he wasn’t getting any! Oh shit!  Wow. This dude on I Love New York just said, “I wouldn’t mind his skinny little ass staying around a little longer so I could pound him out when nobody’s looking.” Wow. I actually got approached the day of the Rocksteady Basketball Tournament in the Village. I didn’t sign up because I’m doing the family thing and I would be being untrue to myself because New York is definitely not hot.  Vote for me to take over the journals and kick Poison Pen out! Look out for the new projects and holler at me. Any collabos you want to do or anything, holler at me on the MySpace.  http://myspace.com/pumpkinhead  Note from Poison Pen: Pumpkinhead is an opportunist. Using my journal to shill collabos and plug his MySpace. Spam that nigga! I’m out. http://myspace.com/poisonpen

[10] REACT TO POISON PEN'S 22nd JOURNAL ENTRY

1/12/2007: Poison Pen Journal Entry #21 My New Year’s…man. I was toasted on New Year’s doing two shows. I actually ended up passed out downstairs in the club due to the gallon of Bacardi Apple and the fifth of Hennessey. That was my New Year’s…throwing up on the floor, missing the second event. I’m watching the liquor.  Uh oh, I’m watching New York on VH1 right now. The dude with dread’s is my boy Trends, from ITAKKS. Son gets busy on the rap shit. I’m writing this during I Love New York. I can’t be distracted.  New York’s mom looks like a motherfucking drag queen. Her mom looks like a dude. Whatever.  I guess I can’t be a great journaler while watching television.  I can’t really tell you much from my New Year’s. I was pretty much unconscious from 12:45 am and on. I paid for it. I threw up an unprecedented ten times. I actually lost weight. I’m a special make. I didn’t make it to the other show so it was a very prosperous New Year, lol. I just hope it’s not an indication of how I’m going to spend the rest of the year. I knew I was going to get nice but I can’t make a habit out of it. That’s what it is. I haven’t even drank since that day. No liquor for me until I get to Vegas.   Poison Pen is going to be reporting live from the AVN Convention. AVN is Adult Video News. They’re having a convention this week and I’ll be in Vegas at the same time. I’m going to have my camera on me and I might get a few drops and hopefully I’ll get a few more other things. I look at it like this: if you watch porno and everything, you might as well go all out!  I also have a few meetings that JUST HAPPENED to coincide with the AVN situation. Hopefully I’ll be able to meet a few of my dreamgirls. Maybe I’ll just bump into Flower. I know we’ll have something to talk about. I’ll be back in New York next week sometime.  Last week I was too busy recovering from my liquor-induced rampage to make a list, but I’ll make a list while I’m in Vegas.   My man Amplafire’s new BARS DVD is out. Be on the lookout for that. My boy Amp has a lot of good artists on there like my man Chaundon.  I see Ron Artest has a journal now too. I’m going to start playing basketball now.  I’m getting ready for the trip now. I’m wondering what they’re going to take from me at security this time. You can’t bring lotion and lip balm on the plane. You can’t bring anything on the plane. You can’t even bring deodorant on the plane. I wonder what’s going to be taken from me next and how long it’s going to get through the security.  And for all my readers wondering why I’d need lotion on the plane, get your mind out of the gutter. I’m black. My skin gets ashy. Anytime I wash my hands, my skin gets mad dry and I need that shit like baby oil and Vaseline. Well, I don’t carry around Vaseline because that would look suspect. I’m not obsessive-compulsive and I’m not a neat freak, but I like to wash my hands a lot in public. You’re touching things on the train and shaking people’s hands…My hands get mad dirty and every time I walk into a place I wash my hands and then I put some shit on my hands so I don’t get the white knuckles.  Most people should wash their hands after speaking to me. I’m a grimeball! I like to wash my hands after hearing myself speak.  The video iPod is treating me very nicely. I’ve been on the train watching movies and I’ll just start busting out laughing by myself. Then everybody gets up and moves. I’ll forever have a seat to myself if I bring my video iPod because no one will want to sit next to me. I was watching All About the Benjamins today with Ice Cube and Mike Epps. I guess they’re like the Laurel and Hardy of our generation. If they did a Friday with Ice Cube, Mike Epps and Chris Tucker, that shit would be so fly. I don’t know if it would fly because they’re all in their late-30’s. What can they do in Friday Part 4? Debo’s like 50 years-old already. Whatever.  730 stays asking me off the wall questions. He asked me what it would take for me to sleep with Rosie O’Donnell. What would it take for me to sleep with Rosie O’Donnell? It would take a strong sedative, a paper bag and five motherfuckers pushing me. That’s what it would take. Actually it would also take a consent slip from her girlfriend. Vince McMahon called her Yoko Zuna on TV on WWF. That was a 500-pound wrestler from a few years ago who died. When he introduced Yoko Zuna he had a picture of her up on the screen. It was humorous.  I could never do Star Jones though. When it comes to women, I got willpower, but I couldn’t do Star Jones. When she lost all that weight, she looked mad weird. Losing all that weight for anybody is not healthy. That shit is more unhealthy than not losing that weight. Now you’re walking around looking like E.T. That can’t be healthy.  Sean Price’s album is sick. I hope it does well. I know it’s going to do well because people are talking about it who aren’t the typical underground supporters. I think it’s going to do pretty good as far as independent numbers. I think it’s probably going to do more impressive numbers than Monkey Barz. When the last album had dropped, a lot of people didn’t know Sean Price as a solo artist even though he’s been doing his thing for years. Honestly, people don’t even look at him as a solo artist and then he had that album come out. But when he dropped Monkey Barz and it incredible, now it’s like people are in tune with it. We’ll see what happens when this drops. I hope it hits the Billboard. That would be so ill. Murs cracked the Billboard when he dropped with 9th. If Murs can do it, Sean P can do it. They’re both dope. If he can do 10,000 in the first week, that would be very, very excellent.  Ariel is a buster. That’s all I got to say. Ariel is a buster. Fucking Ariel needs to step his game up. We got sessions and he’s busy trying to make another MySpace page. Who cares about his MySpace page? He only has about 12 friends on each page. I’m trying to record and he’s trying to make another MySpace page like he doesn’t already have one.  We’re doing a special BARS DVD to go with the album. We’re doing a Poison Pen version of BARS DVD. It’s going to be me and all my fam on there.  I am one of the three drinking champions of hip-hop along with Diabolic and Slim from Da Circle. I don’t think anyone could hold their weight with us. Going against us is tough. To go against us, you would have to be an Alkaholik like J-Ro, Tash and E-Swift. I don’t really think anyone can hang with us. It would be worse if I were an everyday drinker. I don’t drink every day. It’s just that when I do it, I do it well. If I drank every day, I would have a big problem. I can’t do that. Flavor Flav can hang. We drank Hennessey at 10 in the morning at that event we were at in Seattle. That was one of the most interesting experiences of my life.  You know I got an email about being in the New York show. People ask me about that now. If you do something like that, you might be pigeonholed as the reality TV person. I don’t want to be labeled as that yet! Maybe after I drop six albums and I have nothing else to do I’ll go on there for Surreal Life Part 13 with Laura from Family Matters, Zack Morris and Prime Minister Pete Nice. I’ll get to meet Lisa Lisa and Money B from Digital Underground and Bud Bundy. It’s going to be hilarious. I strive for greatness.  I’m a worldwide journaler. My journaling game is so incredible. Honestly, son, on the real, I don’t know how the journal became so popular. How does that happen, son? I wasn’t born to rap, according to some fuckin’ idiots, but I was born to write a journal. I got stopped four times today about the journal and people were saying, “I hate those fools in Times Square with the CD’s!” My man Musik G hit me with that too. I just give people the everyday. That’s all.  Maybe I’ll get some t-shirts made up. Would you buy one? All my wonderful supporters who talk about how wack I am can get the one-size-fits-all-haters with studded rhinestones. It’ll be one of those real long t-shirts with the ass cut out.  And for the record, I don’t wear those rhinestone shirts and the all-over faces. I come from Bed Stuy. I’ve been privileged enough to have encountered Big and Jay-Z on numerous occasions. I don’t need their faces on my shirt.  A resolution in 2007 in hip-hop is not to spit any dead motherfuckers’ lyrics. No MC should recycle any dead MC’s lyric, period. The second resolution should be that these rappers should stop doing these alleged songs with people that they never met and don’t know in their fucking life. Stop putting these mismatched songs up with accapellas from 1998 and you’re spitting your verse like you know that motherfucker. We know you don’t know that motherfucker. We don’t need any more remixes. These guys are diluting Biggie’s legacy more and more. He got murdered and he will go down as one of the most influential MC’s in the history of hip-hop, but the more people come out with records with his verses, the more his legacy gets polluted. Let his legacy live on. You don’t have to do another verse on a song that we all know and love. It kills it for me and makes me not want to hear the original version of the song anymore.  Another rap rule of 2007 (I am making a list, even if it’s a half-list): if you have a woman in your clique, please don’t call her “the first lady.” I think every woman that I’ve ever heard that rapped was the first lady. There’s only one first lady. And don’t ask me if I would do the first lady.  Another rule  is New York rappers shouldn’t make crunk records.  And the last rule for today is that if you don’t live in New Orleans, stop making these “heartfelt” songs about Katrina. They’re so contrived. Capitalizing on a national tragedy doesn’t make you a deep rapper. It makes you an opportunist. We did a song about Katrina (“Louisiana Purchase” from Akir’s album Legacy) when it happened. It’s now 2007. There’s a multitude of things you can rhyme about in 2007 if you want to be deep. Albums these days have three hot street records, three hot collabo records, three songs for the girls, the club records and now it’s like they have to have the one deep record. Get the fuck out of here.  I’ll see you in Vegas or I’ll see you in Bed Stuy or I’ll see you somewhere in between. I’ll be posted up on the ave somewhere like I always am when I’m not being an excellent journaler or MC. I’m still hood with a Macbook, dig? There’s nothing sweet about Pen. Don’t take my keyboard game & sense of humor for being pussy. Don’t take me for a sucker. http://myspace.com/poisonpen

[547] REACT TO POISON PEN'S 21st JOURNAL ENTRY

1/3/2007: Poison Pen Journal Entry #20 My holidays were pretty good. My little brother got straight A’s and was at the top of his class, so we spoiled him and got him PSP’d up. We got him a bunch of games and all that. I came up in the church. People might not realize that. I don’t really stress this holiday. I was chilling, but at the same time, you do get caught up a little bit. I saw the family and Mom Dukes hit me with a flatscreen TV. That’s pretty dope. I got that in the crib now. I slept ‘til 4 pm.  Me and my cousin Bamm had a hip-hop Christmas. We went to Sean Price’s crib and met up with Sean Price and Agallah. We had a fish fry at the crib. I know Sean Price has a line in the “Heartburn” song about how his shorty can’t cook, but she can cook. Shout out to Sean Price and his wife. We had some fun. We drank a little Petrone and that was it. I laid low. I didn’t see my family until the day after. That was cool. It was a real quiet holiday for me. I know New Year’s is going to be real hectic. I got one show on the Lower East Side to bring in the New Year and then one in Williamsburg at 3 am. I can’t get too drunk because I have to be able to perform. That’s about it.  And if you’ve been wondering if I have any drunk stories, I’ve been sober and I’ve been eating salads every day. I’ve been on my salad grind. I’m getting that into my routine. I read a comment where somebody said I should tell some weed stories. That’s pretty hard since I don’t smoke weed. I could tell other people’s weed stories, but they wouldn’t be mine. I’ll bring a guest star like my cousin in and he can tell you stories. I’m sorry I can’t give you a marijuana story. “I don’t get high, Pen ain’t a liar.” I don’t get high. I’m not going to say I haven’t been high, but I don’t get high.  Maybe I should start a new organization. RADR – Rappers Against Drunk Rappers. Actually I can’t do that because I’m still going to get drunk. It’s going to be a crying shame how fucked up I get on New Year’s (read about that in the next journal). I can’t get nice every day. That’s not healthy. I’m not the picture of health, but I can’t do a fifth every day. I guess I’m cleansing myself so when New Year’s Eve comes, I can drink. I can’t even get too drunk then because I have to perform twice. Just drink in moderation.  I just came from Foot Locker. They got the buy one, get one free sale. Hopefully they have that in your area. I just came from there with some crisp Timbs.  For everyone who says the KKK shit about Timberland, until you prove it, whatever. They keep your feet nice and comfortable. Until I see anybody in their white dresses and their nice Champion pointed hoody on endorsing Timberland, I’m going to do what I do. You could look back on any old company and their funding is probably so dirty that you wouldn’t even want to look at it. Look at all these politicians. If you really wanted to get to the bottom of it, you’d be ass-naked running around in leaves. You have to pick and choose your battles.  If I found something that was so blatant and unacceptable, I wouldn’t wear it. If the KKK does support Timberland, then I definitely helped buy a few crosses and a few gallons of gasoline. Maybe Jay-Z should say something about them so everybody stops wearing them. Whatever. I do what I do. I’m from Brooklyn, son. I was born with a pair of Timbs on. When I didn’t have Timbs, I would draw the symbol on my ankle.  Timberlands are our uniform in Brooklyn. I used to play ball with my Timbs on. I used to ball out in my Timbs. I wasn’t great, but I was decent. I wasn’t the last one picked. When I would take my Timbs off and put on sneakers, I would have some extra hops. Honestly, we used to scrap a lot and if you have your Timbs on, it helps a lot. You could break an ankle trying to stomp somebody out in your Filas. The Timbs are good money for that. They kind of help you out. You’re good money with the steel toes or the 40 below’s that go up to your kneecaps. That’s when everybody put the burner in it. That’s what Timbs are for. I’m going to remake “That’s What Friends Are For” and make it “That’s What Timbs Are For.” Maybe I should get Timbaland to produce it. We went from Eastland to Northlake to Timberlands. I don’t even know what will be next. Some of the Nike ACG boots are cool, but I don’t really rock with those too much. The Dolomite’s are official tissue. The Dolo’s are official. The only problem with Timbs is they get bodied so quick. If it rains and you have on black jeans, the black dye just goes everywhere. That happened to me the other day.  Rest in Peace to the Godfather of Soul. James Brown is the most influential dude in the history of hip-hop. George Clinton and P-Funk are right next to James Brown. Then there’s Bootsy and the Isley Brothers. I don’t even know how hip-hop would sound. People have to respect that James Brown didn’t turn his back on hip-hop when everybody else did. A whole new generation knew who he was because of that. I can name at least 100 records off the top of my head that are James Brown samples. James Brown supported us and we supported him. And he lived a crazy life with the drugs, the women and the police chases. I was thinking about seeing him on New Year’s at BB Kings. Without him, I don’t even know what hip-hop would sound like. I have no idea. He’s the backbone of this shit. He’s the Godfather of Soul and he’s the Godfather of Hip-Hop and he’s the Godfather of Music. If people took a page out of his book as far as performing and giving the people what they want, there would be a lot better performers out there.  I keep seeing his picture after he got arrested and his hair is all messed up with that perm. That mugshot is how my mugshot is going to look in 35 years, except I’ll be fatter. People already think my hair is permed now and it ain’t. When I get older, I might just get it and go all out. It’s crazy that James Brown passed, but he was 73 years-old and he had a fulfilling life. If there is a tribute to James Brown, all walks of life and all forms of music would be there. And a James Brown sample never gets old. For real.  This is kind of a milestone. This is my twentieth journal entry. I should have done the list but I forgot. I’ll do it next time.  Did you see the Justin Timberlake video on Saturday Night Live? I think they took the link off YouTube but it was hilarious. He did an R&B spoof like Color Me Badd. The song was called “Dick in a Box.” It was about what girls wanted for Christmas and it was about what was in the box. Me saying it isn’t that funny, but you have to see it. It’s one of the most hilarious videos ever. The video of the week goes to Justin Timberlake.  What’s going on with Def Jam dropping all these albums and nobody’s buying them? I don’t understand how you can drop all these albums of all these prolific artists and there’s no promo, no ads and no video. Do you expect folks to go platinum without anything? I saw the numbers on Ghost, Styles, Trick Daddy and Clue and it was crazy (I know, I know, Trick Daddy and Styles aren’t Def Jam artists, but it still applies). I didn’t even know these guys were coming out. I only knew SP was coming out because I was at one of his shows. How do you expect these artists to move units if nobody knows they’re out and there’s no videos and no push behind it? It’s crazy.  The internet definitely plays a huge part in that, but at the same time, there’s still ways to make it work. If you’re at a powerhouse label like Def Jam and you can’t get a one-page ad in the Source and you can’t get any cross-promotion, what are you on that label for? You might as well get on some indie and get more money. Think about it. I download shit before I buy it now. I know people who haven’t bought albums in years. I’m not even an A-list celebrity, but I drop my mixtape and when I came home from tour, the shit was online. It was on RapidShare and all these file-sharing sites. I think it’s cool because there’s a demand for my music and somebody wants to hear it. At the same time, it’s like, Damn, you’re really taking money out of my pocket. You can’t force people to do anything.  If you download somebody’s music, the least you can do is go see them when they come through your town. That’s how a lot of artists make their money. That’s how I make my money. It’s cool that there’s a demand for your music, but at the same time, they’re taking your money. That’s why you have to find other ways to make money. That’s why all these albums are actors now. They can make an album and then do a movie and make half a mil. Redman was getting $200,000 for each episode of Red and Meth and that show got cancelled before the end of the season. I did the voiceovers in the video games. I did the Grand Theft that’s out now. It’s the new one. I got voices in that as usual. I do a lot of voices for Rockstar. There are lots of ways to get that money. Don’t just stay rapping. If you just stay rapping, you’re going to be fucked in the game. I love rapping and I can’t stop it, but if that’s all I did, I’d be a broke motherfucker. Get that show money. Get a booking agent and go on the road. That’s where it’s at.  Stay out of NY. This is a severe warning to anyone walking in Times Square. If you walk in Times Square, you will be harassed and intimidated by rappers trying to coerce you into buying their CD’s. No less than ten. What makes it worse is they’ll sit there and try to tell you they’re the hottest thing in the street and they’re selling you a blank CD without a glossy cover. It’s just a CD in a jewel case and they’re trying to charge $10 to $15 for it. I’ve talked about how to present yourself before. I don’t like being followed down the block by somebody trying to make some money. Don’t spit in my ear. I love hip-hop, but don’t follow me three blocks. Don’t harass me to buy your CD. You’re going to make me want to choke you. I’ll support you if I feel you’re worthy of my support.  If you’re walking in Times Square, try to look like you’re not a hip-hop fan. Go for the Garth Brooks look. Put on some overalls. If you don’t have willpower, you will be out $70 by the time you go down Broadway. Most of the shit is wack, which is why it’s not in stores anyway. Some of the music is good, but I’m not trying to figure out what’s what. If you don’t have the willpower, stay away from Times Square.  Shout outs to my man DJ Self. He’s doing the Sirius Satellite Saturday night and I’m going to go up there and rock with the Prince of New York. That’s what it is.  And I used to have a fly pair of overalls. I’ll wear anything. I can make anything fresh.  I haven’t been watching any porn on my iPod. I’m trying to turn over a new leaf. I’m going easy on the porn and easy on the liquor. I’m hitting the salads. I’m trying to add three extra weeks on my life.  The lists are coming next week. Get ready. I might even drop two lists. Hit me with your ideas for lists. And shout out to my peoples in South Africa reading my journal.  2007 is here. Happened kinda quick, huh? http://myspace.com/poisonpen

[59] REACT TO POISON PEN'S 20th JOURNAL ENTRY

12/15/2006: Poison Pen Journal Entry #19 I just got back to the crib. I had a tough time catching a cab. They don't stop for me and it's not because they're afraid I'm going to make crumbs in their backseat. I guess I have the look of the average nigga.  Some funny shit is that I left the studio with Ariel. You know how that goes. He tries to be slick. 730 hit him with some funny comments, trying to be slick too. Funny guys. I left the studio in the early morning. I'm a New Yorker and we take the subway. Everybody knows the G-Train is the most unreliable train in the city. I have to take three trains home or my only other choice is to take a yellow cab. Everybody knows how hard it is for melanin-rich people such as myself to get a yellow cab. I've gone to a lot of hearings for them discriminating against me and I've won. I know driving a cab is a dangerous job and some people give us all a black eye by sticking up cab drivers, but my thing is this: if you chose that profession, it's your duty to stop. Say you walked into Subway to get a sandwich and you're like, “Yo, let me get a turkey, a little Swiss, some tomato, oil and vinegar.” And the dude goes, “No.” “Yo, dude, make my fucking sandwich!” Who are you to tell me “no”?  If you don't want to drive certain people, then you need to pick another line of work. Get another vocation. I didn't tell you to be a cab driver. I'm not disrespecting cab drivers, but you can get a job where you don't drive people around. I personally wouldn't want to stop for anyone, therefore, I wouldn't be a cab driver, but if that was my duty, I would be obligated to take patrons where they wanted to be taken. Don't ask me for my money before you pull off and don't ask me where I'm going before I get in. I do the trick where I hop in the cab at a red light. Or I have to get somebody like Ariel to hail a cab and hold the door for me while I jump in. They hate that one. Another trick is when I tell them I'm going to a nice neighborhood and then I bring them to the hood instead. I just want to get home. I got money and I'll tip you, just stop for me.  Ariel needs to build a studio closer to where I live. Fucking Ariel.  I just got a video iPod. I bought an 80gb video joint the other day. I doubt I'll watch porn on the subway. I doubt that. I'm using this program called Handbrake (good lookin', Ill Answer) to download movies into the iPod instead of going to iTunes and paying for them all over again. Handbrake takes the DVD's that you got and it converts it into MP4's. Not that you care about that, but I thought that was dope. I'm a trendsetter. It's in my nature to be a trendsetter. I can't help that I'm a trendsetter.  I'm not the first to do it, but dammit, I make it look good. This is for all my ballers on budgets, that got iPods even before they got computers! I was in that boat too!    I've been practicing my menacing scowl. I've been learning from the best ice grillers in the game. There's the look where you stand there like you don't care about anything out there. That's the stone face. You just stand there and look like you don't even care. That was too passé for me.   Then there's the “I got to take a shit” constipated grill. That's not for me either.  Then there's the sensitive ice grill, but all the homothugs use that one.  I studied Amerikkka's Most Wanted. That's the best ice grill right there. Ice Cube is the ice grilling champion. The ice grill he had in the “Eazy-er Said Than Dunn” video with Eazy-E was great. You have to learn from the champions. A lot of these Southern dudes are good at ice grilling. Although, if I had as much money as they say they do in their rhymes, I wouldn't be ice grilling.  The Billy Danze ice grill is a good one. I'm trying to combine all of those. There's also the “you just stepped on my new Timb's” ice grill. That's a good one.  I'm putting the first season of Reno 911 on my iPod.  I'm going to combine all these ice grills. Everybody has an ice grill when someone steps on their new Timbs. I'm going to make a hybrid ice grill. I'm trying to make a new ice grill. I have the papers to patent it and all that. If Jay-Z can own a color, I can own an ice grill. I'm going to license it out to all the action figure manufacturers and rappers that seek direction.    I was invited to this Christmas dinner with some colleagues. I was dressed as I usually am. I had my Carhart's camoflauges on, a du-rag and hat and a hoody. They gave me the address to the spot and I walk in there with my my man The Kid from the Bronx and the Corona kingpin, John V.  To say we weren't dressed for the occasion would be an understatement! I had Timb's on and my bubble vest and hoody and bandana and all that. It's in the World Financial Building behind the World Trade Center. Can you believe that it was a first-class restaurant where it's $100 a plate? The whole place turned their heads when we walked in. I didn't want to be there. It felt like Trading Places. The filet mignon was excellent though.  The mashed potatoes that were seasoned to a wonderful t.  They couldn't have been the “just add water” joints. The steamed broccoli was poppin'!  It was very intriguing. I had fun. I think we turned the restaurant out. I also had mad shots of Patron.  They just told me to come through and eat. I can get fresh. Getting fresh is academic to me. I thought it was funny. I guess I should have realized what it was when they told me where the place was. I'm pretty sure the waiters get more money there than I do rapping. I guess I should change professions.  I got the Superhead video on the iPod and I got the last episode of Yo! MTV Raps on the iPod now too. I'm doing pretty good now. 730's still not convinced that I'm not going to be one of those weirdos sitting in the corner of the subway watching porn, but I can't do that. I can't let people see how many disgusting videos on there so I have to pass on that. Then they'll look at me like I'm a weirdo. And with Superhead, everybody fucked her already anyway, so it really doesn't matter. I'm actually trying to fall back on the porn thing. I'm trying to fall back.  I'm not tryna go blind, yadig?  I'm going to make some Poison Pen Journal t-shirts. I just hope people pay attention when the album comes out. And no rapper is just a rapper. Other rappers have clothing lines. I have a journal. Rhyming is what I do and rhyming is my passion, but doing video game voices and having a journal is not a bad thing. I'm an excellent journaler. I know that's not a word!  Don't correct me, dammit!  I have the Blues Brothers Soundtrack. I have no idea why.  A lot of people don't know I had records out before Technique's Revolutionary Volume 1 and that one of my songs (“Top Of The Food Chain”) was remixed on the album. I was rapping on MTV before BET's battles. I hosted the most popular battles in NYC, the Hookt.com battles. I've done a lot of shit. Hopefully that shit will all come to fruition and pay off. It's not that I'm doing it for a payday, but I've been on my grizzly ever since high school. I'm not some new dude that just popped up last week. I've been doing this shit dumb-long. I really don't stress it because everything happens for a reason. I've had deals from stupid labels but it really wasn't time for me to do that. Now it's different. I got joints out and I've been performing for years. I've been getting money doing live shows before I had a record out. I was doing shows out in Europe before I had a single out. Chino XL shouted me out in his interview because he had an album named Poison Pen. Now we're doing music together. Google me!  I'm in New York all day and I'll win everyone over.  I'm not stressing it.  I've been getting a lot of messages on MySpace. I'm going to post the best ones. There are some that say, “Hey, sexy” and “Hey, cutie.” Then they don't have any pictures up and any information. I'm not answering those. We don't deal with that. They could be 12 and you holler at them and then Shaquille O'Neal is going to be knocking on your door. A lot of those pages are fake. A lot of dudes pose as girls and a lot of people use other people's pics because they look like dog shit. You have to be careful who you talk to.  We also filmed Akir's video for “Treason” and “Apocalypse” off Akir's album Legacy. The concept is real ill. We had fun doing that, except for when Southpaw decided to mosh for no apparent reason and scuff my Timbs.  I had to pull out the "you scuffed my timbs" ice grill out the emergency glass case after that one.    Love goes out to the Homecookin' radio show in Baruch college. J.U., Mike G, Ojah and Ak Boogie. We had a ball on the air the other night with the prince of NY, DJ Self, dusting off the vinyl! No Serato was in the building and no mp3s were sighted. I thought we were back on WKCR on some Stretch and Bobbitto shit.  And here's some philosophical words for you: no means no. If she wants to stunt, find somebody else. It ain't nothing. Word. http://myspace.com/poisonpen

[63] REACT TO POISON PEN'S 19th JOURNAL ENTRY

12/5/2006: Poison Pen Journal Entry #18 I got the streets reading! I got dudes going to the library getting a library card just so they can read my prolific thoughts. Hopefully you all had a prolific Thanksgiving. I celebrated the holiday in Long Island with my family. I always invite everyone to come pour gravy with me but everyone wants to stay in their own borough. Nobody wanted to make the trip with me. And I didn’t get any leftovers this year. I’m watching what I eat. I don’t know how many readers of mine are in Brooklyn, but if you’re out there, the police are out there crazy. They’re out there in abundance. I guess it’s because of the Sean Bell incident in Queens. I guess they feel they have the right to use whatever authority they feel is necessary. They figure in some twisted way they’re doing what they have to do. They’re definitely getting really excessive with it. I saw thirty cops on my block the other night in Brooklyn. That’s insane. They were out there looking for anybody and everybody. I know it’s the flatfoot’s job to be out there, but at the same time, everybody out here is not a crook. There’s a lot of injustice that goes on. They’re taking their frustration over their $25k a year salary out on me because my pockets are heavier. Dog, that was your decision to join NYPD. You make more cake working the night shift at Staples then being on the beat, real talk. Do your research if you think I’m just being facetious. I’m not trying to preach about good cops and bad cops. Not all popo is corrupt and all corrupt cops aren’t white. Cops are supposed to be a beacon of light in the community but instead they like to use their force and, at least in New York, they like to use the intimidation factor. I don’t feel at ease when I see Jake. I’m automatically on the defense, even if I didn’t commit any wrongdoing. You can look at the issue in Queens. These dudes fired 50 shots at three guys coming out of a strip club. They didn’t even have guns. They were unloading so much, they thought the victims were firing back! What kind of bad swat movie shit is that? If I sit here and complain about the police, all it’s going to do is go to internal affairs. What’s internal affairs? Cops policing cops. It’s nothing. You just have to be careful. Don’t give a police officer a reason to bring you trouble. Be a man and stand up for your rights, but don’t be an asshole. Don’t give them a reason to lock you up. Be respectful. Don’t give them a reason to flip on you. Then Bill O’Reilly said the shooting in Queens wasn’t a race issue. Bill O’Reilly is oblivious to everything going on in urban America. It’s obvious that he doesn’t represent what I represent. There’s a difference between book smarts and street smarts. The police officers are always profiling you by how you look, how you dress, how you act, your gender, your sexual orientation, anything really. They profile and had a very unfortunate incident. The band of police officers was multiracial, but it’s obvious that these men were profiled. Do you think this dude was really at the strip club to start beef? I’m a strip club connoisseur and the last thing on my mind at a strip club is to beef with another dude. It’s all about the choch, the flower, the twat, the box, the vagina, the beaver….oh yeah, titties too. That’s what’s on my mind. I’m not in the club trying to start beef. These police were definitely profiling. Look at the history of police officers and African-Americans in New York City. Look at the facts. Some of these motherfuckers are profiled. It’s fucked up in this world that at the end of 2006 that a lot of things are seen in black and white. We have to get through that. That’s why I’m glad I have this forum. If I don’t like you, I don’t like you. It’s not because of race. There’s white devils and there’s black devils. Devils come in all shapes and colors. Shiestiness has no color. If you want to get deeper in this to the upper echelon of the caste system of this world and society, none of us are shit. Green is the color and if you’re broke, you’re broke. You’re nothing. And then there’s Kramer. At the end of the day, the dude said what he said. He’s a comedian. The problem is that it’s obvious what he said wasn’t a joke. He said that shit and left. He went on a freaking tirade and left. Your dude melted down! He must’ve been tight at Newman or something. There was no punchline. Therefore, it wasn’t a joke. That shit was really how he felt. I wasn’t there, but apparently some dudes were acting up and he got tight. When he got tight, what he spewed had nothing to do with comedy. I’ve been to plenty comedy shows and heard a million race jokes. There’s white jokes and there’s black jokes. I’m in underground hip-hop and the majority of the fans are white. Kramer wasn’t joking? It’s obvious that it wasn’t a joke. Am I mad about what he said? No. It’s whatever. You would be surprised at how many people feel that way. If you noticed, people were still slapping their knees laughing until he totally flipped. I was shocked because I didn’t expect that to come from him. I thought it really showed his ignorance. He said something about 50 years ago hanging from a tree with a fork up your ass. I heard he was Jewish, I don’t have confirmation on that though. They had the internment camps 60-something years ago. That’s much worse. There was Auschwitz and all that. How are you going to say that about a black man? We’re in the same boat. What he said showed that he was obvious he was upset, but he had a breakdown and that’s what it was. He showed the people how he felt. I don’t care if you go to Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson or anybody else. Your apology means nothing because you’re only apologizing because you got caught. Son is apologizing on Jay Leno. Way to reach the black community, Al Jolson! The only reason he apologized is because he got caught. Honestly, that whole thing is only going to make him more popular in certain circles. What he uttered is what other people want to say but they’re too scared. Other people will look you in your face and smile but they feel the way Kramer feels. This will only make him more popular. This shit ain’t hurting him. It’s whatever. Oh yeah, Seinfeld’s new DVD is in stores. Coincidence, huh? After all that you probably need a drunk story. Sorry. Maybe next time. I was at Popeye’s the other day and somebody ran into the employee restroom. He had a blade in his hand and all that. All these workers ran down after him. Are you going to stab a dude at Popeye’s? Is it that serious? If I’m working at Popeye’s and somebody runs up on me trying to rob Popeye’s, they can have all the chicken they want and all the pies in the world. We don’t have any problems! It ain’t that serious and I’m not that gung ho for the $7 an hour, yo. I read about Snoop getting arrested at the Jay Leno Show. He has an album coming out so it shouldn’t be too surprising. What is surprising is how many good albums are coming out this year from major labels. My favorite album to drop recently is the Fat Joe album Me, Myself and I. That’s a great album. Snoop album is very good. The Jay album is ill lyrically. I like The Clipse album so far. Pack FM’s shit is dope too. Ariel is fired again. He got a new studio and it’s a lot nicer than his old one. That shit’s decked out! What he fails to realize is that I made him who he is today. I made Ariel. I can take him away. Shout out to Swave Sevah, Harlem’s most fabulous hitman! He’s been running through all the battles lately. He’s Stronghold’s secret weapon. Camille, you can do it. Don’t quit now, son. Friends, stop asking me to add you in my Top 24 on MySpace! I honestly don’t have the room. Maybe if they make a Top 50 you can make it. There are only so many slots and I can’t give one to everybody. If I actually call you on the jack and we see each other beyond cyberspace, you already know what it is! What I’m thinking about doing is making a new MySpace page. I’ll get the baby oil out and make it a sexy page for all my female friends. I’ma be looking like a sunburnt Michelin man, but sexy. My come hither look will be in total effect! It would work a lot better if I had one for the ladies and one for the dudes. The one for the dudes is gonna have me with wild guns, strippers and weed. I’ve been practicing my menacing scowl. I have my Amerikkka’s Most Wanted poster on my wall. That way everybody could get a slot and there would be no complaints. And shout out to Shorty Ranks and John V. in Corona. Happy birthday, slaps! Time to get back to my Popeye’s. My chicken breast is getting cold. http://myspace.com/poisonpen

[9] REACT TO POISON PEN'S 18th JOURNAL ENTRY

11/16/2006: Poison Pen Journal Entry #17 It’s a good thing I don’t have to talk my journal out. I have a nasty cold. I’ve been doing a lot of shows. We did Baltimore and we just did the Nokia Theater on Saturday. That was a real big show and that was real fun. The drinks were purchased. A lot of people that support Poison Pen came through and bought drinks for the kid. I met a few nice ladies. It was me, Immortal Technique, Diabolic, Akir, Pumpkinhead and J-Arch. Being on the road with Diabolic and Tech means there’s a lot of yelling. If anybody actually heard us talking, they would swear that we don’t like each other and that we hate each other’s guts. We love each other. Diabolic is a special case though to go on the road with. He likes to start bar fights and stage dive onto girls’ necks. It was actually Diabolic’s birthday this weekend so we had an extra special mission for him. That night it was a fifth of Henny, a fifth of Bacardi Apple, three bottles of Patron and mad beer. I don’t even drink beer, but you know. We did it up for Diabolic to make sure he had a wonderful send-off for his birthday. In my presence, Diabolic has never broken a girl’s neck. Diabolic is the best representation of white people. He’s a foul-mouthed jerk who knows how to rap. That’s all that matters to me. He tried to lock me out of my room but it’s all good. Baltimore was great. On our way back up we got to stop at wonderful places like the Chick-Fil-A and Cinnabon. I’m upset because New York is a big, wonderful city and they don’t have a Cinnabon except for the one at King’s Plaza Mall. King’s Plaza is not close. Why the fuck do I have to hop on the 44 bus to the 41 just to get a caramel pecan Cinnabon? I’m going to open a franchise up in the hood. I’m going to get my rap money up and open up a Cinnabon/Chick-Fil-A. I’ll have Cinnabon value meals, diet Cinnabons, diabetic Cinnabons, I’m going to have weed brownies…shit like that. Jaywalking is illegal to and everybody in New York does it, so I don’t think I’ll have any problems with weed brownies. It’s business. And the toys in the kids meals will be 16k memory cards for their computer where you could put two songs on it. I’ll also give them coupons for more Cinnabons so they can keep me paid. Every state and every club I go to, somebody asks me about the journal. They ask me about my Hamburger Helper techniques and if my door is fixed. People really come up and ask me about the 10 Commandments. It’s really bugged out that it’s catching on like that. I told everyone that I would shout them out, but I always forget their names. I have to shout out Pumpkinhead. He just had a little boy. We got another Brooklyn Ak member. Have you been watching wrestling lately? It’s all about Cryme Tyme. This is real TV. You have to watch WWE and you have to watch these dudes called Cryme Tyme. I think they’re still in 1984. The stereotypes they come up with are ridiculous. I’m not going to lie, the shit is entertaining. The Cryme Tyme tag team says they’re from Brooklyn. Two black dudes from New York. The first dude comes out talking Park Side and Nostrand, son! Another dude says he’s from N.A. Rock. They look like they’re stuck in 1996. One dude comes out with his one pant leg rolled up like he’s late for LL Cool J’s In the House auditions. The dude has his one leg rolled up, a grill in his mouth and a doo rag. He does the Yung Joc dance when he comes to the ring. Nothing says Brooklyn quite like the fake grill, the one pant leg rolled up and the Yung Joc dance. Those dudes are still hilarious. They throw the “yo’s” and “son’s” around like crazy too. Me and Chum are going to go up to Mohegan Sun for Monday Nite Raw for some Cryme Tyme times, yo. I might get a picture with them for the journal. How you love that? I’m the best journalist in the game. I have the best journal in the history of journals. I think Ariel leaving hip-hop is a plus for all of us. I was tired of his unprofessional attitude and I’m tired of his ramblings of Argentinean soccer. But he’ll be back. The game’s going to keep calling him like Pookie. If 730 comes to the crib I’m unplugging the internet. There is not going to be any tubgirl on my computer. I guess I might as well give you a music update. I am a rapper after all. The Pick Your Poison: Mark of the East album is done. It’s 75% new shit. There’s only four old songs on there. Everything is a go with the label. I did another version of “Who Are You?” because they thought they would get sued by The Who. They told me I couldn’t use that. Now I have to do some other shit. When you’re dealing with labels, and I’m not going to lie, I give my man Phantom mad props and respect because he allowed me to do what I do, but at the same time, when you sign paperwork and a contract, it’s a give and take. No matter how good a relationship is, you’re going to have to do things you don’t want to do. “Who Are You?” was a hot song. I’m eating the garlic and onion Wise. I was at my man Wildchild’s crib the other day and the motherfucker had a bag of Bonton’s. I hadn’t seen Bonton’s since 1995. He must have gotten them out of the Smithsonian. He had the honey barbecue. I thought Utz took over Bontons. I got a session on Thursday. Hopefully Ariel is back in the game by then. This cold is killing me. And please don’t ask me if I saw Borat. That humor is not funny to me. The Molemen’s Killing Fields album is out now. Check that out. For everyone who finds me obliterating myself hilarious, you should like this story. I was at a party for Urb Magazine and they had an open bar. They had Brugal. I’m in the building with my regular squad. Son, they just kept on feeding me these big ass glasses of Brugal. I’m getting nice. Then we had to go to BB Kings for this Scion Beat Battle and we pass a liquor store. I said, “Why not get some liquor?” I went and got a fifth of Bacardi Apple and went to BB Kings. Some more people were hollering at me and that was cool. Then I get some Cognac, Rum and Bacardi. I’m mixing the lights and the darks. I’m doing my thing, son. Then the next thing you know, I’m chasing this girl down 42nd Street muttering something about “68 and I owe you one and I like your toes.” Something to that extent. I get back to the car and I don’t know what time it is. I’m just calling people for no reason. I’m drifting in and out of consciousness. We get back to Brooklyn and my man kicks me out of his car. Next thing I know I wake up on my couch, fully clothed including my jacket. I’m a phone guy so the first thing I do is reach for my phone. I reach for my phone and it’s nowhere to be found. I look in between the couch cushions and on the floor. It’s not there. If I left it outside, do you think it would be outside my apartment by the time I wake up? You do the math. There’s a reward for my phone. Whoever fines my phone gets a bucket of chicken and pizza rolls. I would like my phone back. The moral of this story is not to chase girls down the street complimenting their toes and talking about owing them one. You could wake up on your couch without your phone or even worse, you could wake up in the hospital. http://myspace.com/poisonpen

[19] REACT TO POISON PEN'S 17th JOURNAL ENTRY

11/2/2006: Poison Pen Journal Entry #16 What's going on? I'm chilling. Shout out to all the Buffalo, New Yorkers who understood what I said. I've been to Buffalo and I know Buffalo is hood. What I was saying was that chick New York ain't hood. That's what I said. What I said got taken out of context. Shout out to Buffalo. I'm very happy with the response to my 10 Commandments to Internet Thugsterdom. Honestly, it shows that people are reading the journals too. The response was crazy. Shouts to my people from Australia once again. They held me down through Crocodile Huntergate. Yesterday was Halloween and I had to go to a performance at Café Wha in the Village. I'm a regular dude. When you live in certain areas, you pay attention to certain things and you don't pay attention to certain things. They had the Halloween Parade and I didn't know how massive that shit was. It's normally a 15 minute trip to get to the Village from downtown Brooklyn. My cousin had a show there. It took three hours to get there. We had to cut through crowds and there were dudes dressed up as women and guys were making out with guys. My stomach hurt. There was one dude dressed as a MySpace page. The dude made himself a piece of cardboard with a friends list and he had his face sticking out. There are a few costumes that need to be retired and never worn again. Osama bin Laden masks are played out and Superman costumes are played out. We were at a Halloween party and none of us had costumes on so we all put on bandanas around our heads and said we were NWA. Another time we said we were Wu-Tang. Halloween is real special. Personally, I don't celebrate Halloween. It's just not my thing, but I don't think there should be an age limit on who can wear costumes. You have to be slick with yours if you're going to do it, otherwise it's just corny. You have to really finesse it and come up with some real shit. I saw this dude dressed as Tyrone Biggums from the Chappelle show. This kid who was whiter than talcum powder was Flava Flav. I was a rapper for Halloween. If you want to be Poison Pen for Halloween, you need a fat suit and a Ronald McDonald wig painted black. You also need a 2-way, an iPod and two cell phones on the hip and a sandwich in his pocket with mayonnaise, salt and vinegar. It has to be Boar's Head. I don't do nothing less than that. I'm a rapper. You also have to sag the jeans just right and you have to say my catchphrases. The best Poison Pen catchphrase…hmm…that's a good question. You have to have the voice too, otherwise it doesn't really work. It's like "yaaooooooo." Everybody always imitates that. Or just put "son" at the end of every sentence, nah mean, son? Definitely emphasize it like "yo, son, I went down to the store, son. They didn't have no liquor there, son, nah mean?" You also need a fifth of Henny to be me, son. And I'm always accepting applications to my street team. Start applying. All you have to do is know that I'm a rapper. Most people don't. I don't care about race, creed or color, but you can't be no sucker. You have to be able to stand up for yours. When something pops off, I don't want everybody to be running. You also have to be able to get in the moshpits. And don't ask me about Brooke Hogan. I can't speak about her. Hulk Hogan may come through and bodyslam me. I never even watched her show, all I know is he's got one of the Nasty Boys on there looking real out of shape. I remember when I met that dude when I was 12 or 13. He was in a Friendly's or Denny's and we were walking out and he was walking in. He was like 8 feet tall. I was younger so obviously I was shorter. I kept on looking up. They were so high in the sky. They smiled and shook my hand and I left. They didn't kill me. I remember when I was 10 and I was in North Carolina, because that's where my family was, and I met Ric Flair. That was the defining moment of my life. He was walking in the mall with mad girls. This is when he was younger with that long, blond hair. He was looking real fresh with three chicks. He was doing it tough. I'm just biding my time until I get my own reality show. If Flavor Flav and Hulk Hogan can do it, I definitely can. It'll be called Pick Your Poison. It'll be a bunch of chicks hollering at me and we'll do a bunch of stupid stunts. It'll be like Fear Factor meets Who Wants to be a Millionaire meets the Spice Channel. It's going to be me and C.Rayz Walz doing the most outlandish shit you can imagine. We'll have mad guest stars. It'll be on community access. I don't know if cable will pick it up. 730 can be a sidekick too. We'll end each episode with a journal entry. Then the next day everybody can go on HipHopGame to see the journal entry. I'm going to have all my street rapper friends on there too. All my hooligan goon rappers will be on there. We'll show you how to grab your nuts appropriately, how to get that real rugged voice and how to jump over the turnstiles when nobody's looking. It's going to be the Hood Olympics. We can time the turnstile jump. There will also be the broad jump. You know what that's about. I'm not surprised Alchemist and Prodigy got pulled over for guns. They're living their music. I was just disappointed they got caught with .22's. Also don't forget to get rid of all your leftover eggs. Please dispose of them properly. I remember we used to have to buy our eggs two weeks early and leave them in your locker because in Brooklyn they check your eggs two days before Halloween. And no razor blades in candy. That's not a good look, but Halloween's over, so whatever. Holiday season is coming up so it's time for me to starve myself so I can get ready for everything. And look both ways before you cross the street. http://myspace.com/poisonpen

[61] REACT TO POISON PEN'S 16th JOURNAL ENTRY

10/19/2006: Poison Pen Journal Entry #15 I now present to you Poison Pen's 10 Commandments to Internet Thugsterdom. There is nothing wrong with internet thugging but you have to thug right. You can't half-ass your internet thugsterdom. The 10 Commandments to Internet Thugsterdom is presented by Poison Pen featuring Chum, Supreme Court and iCon the Mic King on the help out. After long, hard thoughts and discussions on internet gangsters, we compiled a list. 1 - When you type, make sure you type with an ice grill. Why? Because you're a thug! 2 - You can't live within 10 miles of said internet target for fear of retaliation. 2.8 - If by chance you happen to see said target in person, avoid all contact, eye contact or otherwise. Keep in mind, you're only an internet thug. 3 - When you're typing, no smiley faces. Use only the angry avatars. The furrowed brow is my favorite. No matter how happy you are, use the furrowed brow as your avatar. 4 - Use multiple screennames to throw people off of your trail. You can also use aliases and other screennames to back your own ridiculous, jaded, foolish, idiotic thoughts or opinions. Example - Yo, son, I saw when he did that! He really fucked niggas up for real! You can use your various screennames to back up your wonderful thoughts. But be careful. This can lead to multiple personalities. 5 - Keep saying things like "I'm a real nigga. Don't let this internet shit fool you, son. I pop shit for real in the streets." Keep saying things like that. 6 - When you're typing on the internet, type in all caps. ALWAYS REMEMBER, EXCLAMATION POINTS ARE ESPECIALLY INTIMIDATING IN THE INTERNET WORLD OF GANGSTADOM!!!! 7 - Spelchek iz fo pussiez. You can spell "gangsta" like "ganksga." And make sure you substitute your "s's" for "z's." Never end words with "-er" either. It's much better to end it with an "a." 8 - When you're online, make sure your spyware is off. You don't want Ma Dukes in the other room to see what you're typing. 9 - Use multiple computers. You don't want your IP address traced. 10 - No webcams. Let's be real. You don't want said target to see how soft your pussy-ass looks. And if you take a picture without a shirt, make sure you have your drawn-in jailhouse tattoos in. I think I need to make lists more often. This was very entertaining. Life is decent right now. There's a new chick out named Cleo. I've been porning. Cleo's got it. When it comes to the porn, I have to shout out my man Slurz out again. He's the hookup. If I ever see him, I'll shake his hand. Well, I don't know if I'll shake his hand. I'll give him the nod of approval. This dude specializes in porn. I'm fucking tired as a sumbitch. The whole album should be done and mixed by tomorrow. That will be a wonderful thing. It took long enough. Recording the shit is one thing but getting the word out and getting it to the right people is a whole 'nother issue. Maybe I should shoot somebody. I'm also working on Apathy's mixtape and Sean Price's mixtape. How 'bout Fab getting shot in the parking lot right next to Justin's? They're taking it back to the '80's. Weapons are getting popped. I'm glad I'm an underground rapper. Nobody cares about me (Ed. Note - HipHopGame cares about Pen). I like being under the radar. It's a beautiful thing. But son got popped and then Sebastian Telfair got robbed. Motherfuckers are getting it. Don't go to Justin's. I've been there mad times. I wasn't there then so I don't know about the exact situation, but all these dudes do is wear their chains and brag about how rich they are. When motherfuckers from the hood are starving, when they see you, they're going to get you, straight up and down. A lot of dudes are flossing like they can't be seen. I'm not saying it's right for somebody to get robbed, but what do you expect? It's unfortunate but it's real. I got robbed once in 8th grade in Flatbush. I got surrounded by like twelve dudes for a dollar. This was like 1989. I was a young dude. I was walking and these dudes surrounded me like, Yo, you got money on you? I'm like, No. They say, If you got money, I'm going to slice me. I'm like, Word? I had $75 on me and I pulled out a dollar and I was very upset. I started hitting inanimate objects. Props to 730 aka Brian for interviewing Diddy. He's a fucking journalist and that's what he's supposed to do. Motherfuckers are mad at him for interviewing Diddy. Are you serious? You can't let your personal opinions sway what you do in journalism because that's not real journalism. That's being biased. Diddy's done a lot of real shit in hip-hop and he's somebody to be spoken about and be spoken to. You can't tell me Puff ain't motherfucking hip-hop whether you like him or not. He introduced us to Biggie, Craig Mack and Mary J. Blige. Are you saying because he didn't write his rhymes, he's not hip-hop? Biz didn't write his rhymes. Are you going to say he's not hip-hop. If you didn't want to read Puff's shit, just scroll down, motherfucker. They still read the shit and then hate. Fucking idiots. Good job, Brian. A lot of people who write their rhymes still aren't real, so it doesn't even matter. A lot of these motherfuckers suck when they write their rhymes. Maybe they should have somebody else write for them. Me personally, I've never had a rhyme written for me in my life. I call myself an MC and my name is Poison Pen. That wouldn't be a good look. But if your goal is to entertain people, who cares. Get a grip. I bet you half these motherfuckers that were typing angry emails were wearing Sean Jean jeans and bought a Biggie album. Shut the fuck up. You put money in Puff's pocket anyways. At least be honest about your shit. I think it's great that Brian interviewed Puff. That's a big move as far as hip-hop journalism is concerned. Think about it. How many people get to do that? Writers at school papers can't do that shit. Puff only does major magazines and websites. That's a big look for HipHopGame. He may not fly 730 to the Hamptons to go skeet shooting but it's a great look. I felt bugged out when Kool G. Rap called me on the phone. I was like, Who's this? Kool G. Rap. N'uh uh. Who's this? Talking on the phone to Puff is fucking gangster. That's fucking excellent. That's a great look. Good for New York for getting rejected. She was acting like her moms. How do you tell a man who's 46 years-old that you're there to run shit? He handled his business. Well, I don't know if smoking crack and getting locked up is handling business, but he did his thing. She should just shut the fuck up and be easy. But she's got her own TV show on VH1 so she's good money. I would have picked Deelishis. Have you seen her backside? It doesn't even look normal. That is exactly why I would have picked her. I like hood chicks. She's got scars, she's got the ghetto booty and she paints her eyebrows in. That's hood. That's hood gold right there. Deelishis. It gets no more hood gold than Deelishis. New York is from Syracuse or some dumb shit. That shit don't count. She's from some dumb shit like Buffalo. She is so not hood. It's obvious Flavor Flav is ghetto. I like that Deelishis didn't pay New York no mind. These other chicks let her get in their head. A lot of people are saying that the show is minstrelsy and blackface and racist. If I hadn't have encountered Flavor Flav myself and if I didn't know Flavor Flav before VH1, see, a lot of people didn't know who Flavor Flav was before this. A lot of people aren't hip-hop knowledgeable. Flav is a real dark-skinned motherfucker wearing top-hats and he's real spastic with his actions and he's bucking his eyes. If I didn't know where Flavor Flav was coming from, I would think that. I can honestly say that I chilled with Flavor Flav drinking Hennessey at 10 in the morning in Seattle. I chilled with Flav. I can see why people would say why the show is racist. The show is all about ratings. If everybody was into cow-tipping, they would do a show based on cow-tipping. It's not about integrity and it's not about artistry. It's not about hip-hop culture. It's not about none of that. They picked somebody who they thought they would bring in high ratings. I'm just surprised how none of these dumb chicks didn't know who Flavor Flav was. I know that's really him. I know that's not him acting some sort of way for the cameras. I can tell you that's not Flavor Flav acting. That's really him. He's really acting like himself. Honestly, drugs do that to you. That's him. That's Flavor Flav. They just threw him in a position where people could see his actions more. Think about it. Public Enemy was the perfect yin and the yang. If it was just Chuck preaching, nobody would have listened. They had the court jester who brought energy and was just straight clowning. That balanced out the whole Public Enemy thing. What's missing on Flavor of Love is that balance. Flavor Flav is just a big kid at heart. Big shout out to Flavor Flav. I'm hoping his solo album will come out now. I've been waiting for his solo album to come out since 7th grade. Flav plays the piano and when I was in Seattle with them, he jumped on the drums and that motherfucker was a beast. Beyond all what you see of Flav, he is a talented dude, straight up and down. He's extremely talented. Don't count Flavor Flav out. Fucking postcards. Ariel and DJ Static are fucking hilarious. They sent me postcards from the Bahamas. I fired Ariel but I'm going to hire him back. We're working out our differences. He's got Baha Men money. Baha Men money is longer than Poison Pen money. I had more fun at the VH1 Hip-Hop Honors than watching it on TV. I think I was caught up in the moment. I'm such a hip-hop fan and it is my whole life and I couldn't believe I was witnessing all this in front of my eyes. Ice Cube is my No. 1 MC of all time and he's coming out still doing what he does. He is my all-time favorite. And you heard Rakim do a song that my friend DJ Static made. This dude produced my whole fucking album and Rakim was doing a song by the same dude and I'm in the room watching it. It really meant a lot to me to see the Beasties Boys do "License to Ill" and MC Lyte do "Paper Thin." Yo Yo came out and that shit was incredible to me. I was surprised by how bad the audio was. They shot the Beastie Boys a few times. I was just happy to be there, but when I watched the performance, some of these motherfuckers acted like they didn't want to be there. They were just chewing gum, walking back and forth. I enjoyed the show so much because I was in the room with so many people that I looked up to. Watching it on TV was cool. It was whatever. I thought the editing was kind of choppy but I'm not an editing genius myself. I appreciate the fact that this is even on television. I know people are mad that Wu-Tang got nominated so fast and Tribe Called Quest and EPMD haven't even been nominated yet. They do these every year. I just appreciate the fact that they have something like this on television. I remember when I was young and people were saying that hip-hop was a fad and that this rap stuff wouldn't be around and now this rap shit rules the universe. They're playing Jay-Z's video at halftime of Monday Night Football. We have to ride the wave because there will be something new coming up that will pass hip-hop eventually. Hip-hop will be like rock and roll because rock and roll is still going strong and that's 50+ years. Overall, I respect what they did and I think it was represented. I heard about some bad things happening. I thought it was represented very well. I don't understand how they didn't have Dre speaking on Eazy-E and how Ghostface wasn't there. It's never going to be perfect. I was just happy to be there, honestly. I was so fucking ecstatic. I was so happy to be there. And I really appreciated the free liquor. I really appreciate Evan the Bartender keeping me laced. I've gotten drunk lately but I don't have any stories. I just get drunk and be easy. Sorry. Maybe this week. http://myspace.com/poisonpen

[63] REACT TO POISON PEN'S 15th JOURNAL ENTRY

10/12/2006: Poison Pen Journal Entry #14 Hold on a second. I'm making the hood bachelor's classic. It's the Hamburger Helper Classic with the extra noodles. I got the government subsidized, no frills bag of noodles. It's a hood classic. It's wonderful. You can tell I'm a bachelor. If I had a wifey, my cuisine would be much more exquisite. What would she be making me? Whatever I told her to. In large quantities. She could also clean the crib. Cleaning the crib is nice. When you're a dude, it's funny. You will clean up your shit and you will swear that it's sparkling and impeccable. Then a chick will come by and be like "What is that?" You'll be in the crib wallowing in your own filth and dirt, and a female that you might not even be having sex with or be in a relationship with will come by and be like, "Oh no. No. You go get some Ajax, a mop and some Lysol." I'll come back and I'll be like, "Good looking." Shit is looking excellent. When your crib smells like mad pine it's a much better look. A lot of times a bachelor pad will smell like wild testosterone and 80 proof. That's why we need that female touch. Sometimes we get too manly and you walk in the crib and you trip over Xbox controllers. I got the new Xbox on top of the old Xbox. Tell me why I have two Sega Genesis's. I also got two Xbox's, an Xbox 360, two PS2's, a Sega Saturn and a Dreamcast. Why do I need that? Am I going to get rid of that? No. I'm laughing because the Xbox 360 blew out when my cousins were playing Madden. It blew out and they tried calling Microsoft. They're crooks. They said there's only a 90 day warranty. That's how you know when they're coming with a faulty product. Right now they're trying to play the PS2 version and it looks like Coleco. It looks mad funny. Motherfuckers ran that shit into the dirt and now it don't work no more. Honestly I'm not a super-duper gamer. I play the games that I have voices in so I can hear myself and laugh and beat myself up. When I found my character in Grand Theft Auto, I was punking myself. I was trying to steal my wallet. I was walking around waiting to hear myself talk. I do it when a chick is over. She says, "That sounds like you." That is me! The Haitian has left the building. Superstar Billy Gram has left the building. I'm tight. All my Emveez are going to the Bahamas this week and my ass is going to be stuck here in Brooklyn. I can't play the Xbox because the Xbox broke. And Madden was the only thing played on the Xbox. I'm straight ass-cheeks on that. My cous likes to play with Atlanta so he can cheat with Michael Vick. That cheesy bastard. He likes to scramble with Vick but that's like cheating to me. I play Warriors still. When the new joint comes out that I'm in, I'm going to play that shit. I only play games where my voice is in it. I'm not a gamer. I enjoy it, but I'm not bugged out. The last game I mastered was Fight for New York. I would just punch motherfuckers in the head. Then when I would see them, I would tell them I fucked them up in Fight for New York. I told Bless and Crazy Legs. I thought that was funny. You can't tell King Koopa that you stomped him. But I did see this bitch who looked exactly like King Koopa. I could tell her I beat her and took the princess. I didn't tell you about my worst-worst woman story. It happened in the same house the story I told you about happened in. That was a wonderful house as far as ignorance and debauchery are concerned. I started drinking in that house and I started fucking everything I could touch in that house. Keep the blue light out of that house. If you run a blue light over that room, it's over. You will see shit on the ceiling, on the blankets, on the mantelpiece, on your sweatshirt, on your toothbrush…there was a room just for fucking. You'd need one of those body condoms from Naked Gun just to eat cereal there. Me and 730 were talking about his wonderful experiences at college one time and he told me about some dudes in his hall who jerked off and left their rags on the RA's door. I would have snuffed those kids. They didn't even get thrown out of housing. Then I told him how we used to pee on car door handles in the wintertime when it was cold out. After I told that wonderful trick of the trade, he told me about a kid in middle school who would poop in garbage cans and kick the shit over. Who would shit in a garbage can? Do I have anything nastier than shitting in a garbage can and kicking it over? I have some nastier stories than that but they're all incriminating. Too many people read the journal. My boy in Philly read the journal and told me I never shouted him out. He's actually in the church now. I don't think it's a good look for him to be associated with me right now. Crazy. I had an excellent experience at the VH1 Hip-Hop Honors. Shout out to the End of the Weak people. I represented them there. I was nominated for best underground rapper that nobody's heard of. Nah, I was really nominated for rapper most likely to catch a heart attack. It was me and Bonecrusher. Since he lost all that weight, I won by default. Anyway, we rolled 80 deep and I got the wonderful VIP seats. I was sitting right above Wu-Tang. I had a lot of free liquor. The Beastie Boys chose an odd group of MC's to represent them. It was Puff, Fabolous and Q-Tip. I thought that was a weird mix to represent them, but it was good. It was very entertaining and I was very excited. I'm a big Beastie fan and a big fan of hip-hop in general. To see the Beastie Boys doing shit off of License to Ill was crazy. The Wu-Tang was moshing with my Emveez on the floor. Ice Cube was there and he's actually one of my favorite MC's of all time. I was like a kid in the candystore but I got too drunk. By the time Wu-Tang came on I was unconscious. Question: How does somebody roll 80 deep? Answer: They're from Brooklyn. Most people don't know 80 people. When it comes to us, it's very easy to roll 80 deep. Half of the floor was with us. We were very, very deep. I got to see a lot of people I was fans of. It was cool. I'm trying not to spill on the journal. I'm eating my Hamburger Helper now. This is some good shit. I had a talk with Buckshot recently. I was too drunk so I don't know what we talked about. Ariel is fired again. He tried to smudge my character in his interview. I can't have that. I'm not hiring him again. Actually Ariel is going to be in the Bahamas this weekend too. Him and DJ Static are going to be out in the Bahamas doing a Baha Men record. Who let the dogs out now! The 10 Commandments of Internet Thugging are coming next week. http://myspace.com/poisonpen

[60] REACT TO POISON PEN'S 14th JOURNAL ENTRY

10/5/2006: Poison Pen Journal Entry #13 I'm just getting down to some R&B. Of course I get down to R&B. I got the joints off the Time Life commercials. I have to have that to go along with my crib, which seems to be the epicenter for all debauchery. Thanks, Pack, for blowing up my spot. Everybody comes through to just wild out. They partake in whatever they feel like partaking in. I've never had any jello wrestling contests for the females yet, but true story, we have a pole in the backyard. We do try to have competitions of that nature. You can do the pole vault. My crib is where it's at. Everybody comes to the crib to pop off. My crib is becoming the new Amsterdam minus the he-she's. We don't deal with women with "surprise packages." And if I don't know you, you're not getting in the crib. If females send me a nice jpeg of your titties, your ass and your pussy, I'll consider meeting you. First we'll meet at an undisclosed location, probably a hotel and I'll blindfold you as we drive back to my crib, even though I shout out where I'm at on every song. And if said fan doesn't have a pussy, they can stay wherever the fuck they're at, far away from me. I got enough male friends. I got enough homies. I don't really need anymore. If you respect me, I got respect back for you, but I don't need more dudes to hang out with unless you bring something unparallelled, like your pops owns a liquor distribution company and you can get Patron and Bacardi Apple. Then we can talk and hang out. You can parade me around your friends and say "I know a rapper" or "I know a black dude. See? I got one right here." See, my friendship is worth a lot. I go all out for my peoples. If we got drama, I'm there. If there's a party, I'm there. If you met this bad bitch and her friend is a fucking deuce or a deuce and a half, I'm not saying I'll fuck her, but I'll hang out with her. I'll drive her around the block while you do your thing. You could have that fly 600 or the '81 Datsun. They both get you where you need to go, one just gets you there better. If you're chilling and this girl is bad and her other friend is wack, I'll occupy that time. I'm not necessarily saying I'll have intercourse with her, but I'll definitely entertain her while you get your business done. I bet you want to know about the ugliest girl I ever had relations with. Back in the day when you're young and you'll have relations with any female that's breathing, I went to visit my boy at Temple. When shit wasn't happening here I would just get on the bus. It was happening in Philly. I'm on the bus coming home from Philly. I see this chick in the back of the bus and she was peeping me dumb hard. It wasn't that serious. I get off the bus and I walked through Port Authority to go take the A-Train back to Bed Stuy. This chick gets on the train with me and she starts talking to me. I dug her disposition. I don't mess with ugly broads, but there are some that are cooler than others. I only hung out with deuces so my peoples could do their thing. The lowest I'll go is a five or four. She was chunky but she had a huge-ass rack. I got her number and I go to Philly two weeks later. I met up with her when I got back and I took her back to the crib and just slutted her out. Most women like when guys have stamina. I take her to the crib and I'm fucking around with her. We're popping off. The funny shit about her is she has some big-ass titties but she wouldn't let me play with her titties. She wouldn't let me suck them. What's the point of you having these titties if I can't do nothing with them? That's like dangling a steak in front of a pitbull and then pulling it away. She left the titties in her shirt and wouldn't let me touch them. The pussy was ok. I give it a strong six. It's whatever. I fucked her and I go back outside with my peoples. Then my dick got hard again and I go grab her and she goes, Again? That's the first time I ever saw a chick get upset when a dude wanted to do it again. I guess she was worn out. She was acting like she was dying and shit so I left her alone. She wasn't that strong. She was about a five and a half. I don't fuck random broads anymore. Let me give a shout out to these dudes in Australia who read the journal and want to book me for a show. Make it happen. I know I got the wonderful Crocodile Hunter feedback but he said they weren't even feeling Crocodile Hunter like that out there. Shout out to everybody reading the journal and shout out to John V. from Corona. He's going to the Poconos and he's bringing his laptop up there so he can read the journal. It's bugged out how many people know me for my journal game. They're like, He raps too? It's cool. Love is love. I'm here for the people. It's not like I'm some clown here doing foolish shit to entertain you. If people are entertained by what I do, then that's a good look. One dude emailed me saying that between me and 730, he wastes about 45 minutes at work reading our stuff. If you can read my journal or 730's column and smile, then our job is done. That's cool. People can see a different side of me from what they hear in the music. My music is a real side of me, but I also like to have fun. I want people to smile and have a good time. I spit tough. I ain't no sucker, but I'm not running around all day trying to out-thug anybody. These fucking rappers need to crack a smile sometimes. I'm smiling. I'm alive and I'm healthy. There's a lot of terrible things going on in this world but it could always be worse. If you have access to get to a computer and read somebody's shit, you're one-up on everybody else already. If you can read about the exploits of a fat, black, underground rapper, then cheers to you. So for that, the next three people who come to me and say they read the journal when they see me out, I'm getting you a beer. Get it while I still have money in your pocket. You have to say, "Pen, I fucks with your journal." You have to say those exact words. You can't say anything else but those words to get the Corona with lime. I saw Jin the other day and he asked me if I got my door fixed. I almost had a drunk story again…wait, I do have a drunk story. It's not that crazy. It was me, Diabolic and Good Time Slim, my partner from Da Circle, we were out in Long Island drinking. There's nothing else to do out there. This is another one of those overzealous doorman/bouncers. This bouncer apparently didn't like black people. He said we couldn't get in because we had sweatpants on. Nobody had sweatpants on. Everybody in the club had on t-shirts and polo shirts. Diabolic started to berate this gentlemen. He went to school with Diabolic and I guess he didn't like Diabolic because he beat his ass a few years ago. So I guess it wasn't a racist thing. He just didn't like Diabolic. We got outside and that dude spit on the door and spit at people. Hanging out with Diabolic is great because he's like a raging madman. We killed some Bud Ice and had about eight shots of Cuervo and about three shots of Hennessey and we got some SoCo, some Southern Comfort, and we got so drunk. We dropped off Diabolic and I don't even remember that. We had to pull over on the highway on some Ennis Cosby shit and sleep on the highway so we could get home safe. I didn't throw up on myself or go to jail, so it was prosperous. It wasn't a very cool drunk story. Terrell Owens. That motherfucker. Don't believe everything you hear in the media. The media is controlled by a few select people who put out what they want people to believe. Think about it. Why the fuck would a dude of his status try to commit suicide. If I was TO and I got dumped by my fiancée, I would call five more fiancées. That motherfucker is in movies, he's got books, he's basically a sports phenom. I basically don't believe it. He's got the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders. I know he's all injured and fucked up over that shit, but TO trying to kill himself? I think that's BS. Of course I wasn't there, but I think that's BS. Get the fuck outta here with that. I would expect suicide from ex-child stars. I'm surprised Drew Barrymore made it this far. She was bringing millions of dollars into her corrupt parent's lives. She was ten and doing hardcore drugs. How are you doing drugs at ten years-old? That's a shame. You have to hit rock bottom to come back up. Shout out to Drew Barrymore. But TO? I highly doubt it. When you come from nothing and get something, you appreciate it more. If you're older and you come up, you appreciate it so much more because you didn't have shit. All that poor shit about collecting bottles and struggling for the next meal, that's all real. This world is a crazy place and there is nothing real about Hollywood. I've been there. You have to really be grounded in this world. Anyway, that's my rant for no reason. I was never a child star. It's funny that I'm so outgoing now. When I was a kid, I didn't speak to anybody. I didn't speak a lot and I didn't want to be in the spotlight. Then I got older and everything changed. I had no aspirations on being a child anything. I was a nerd. I was into my books and passing my classes. This week I'm finishing up the Pick Your Poison project. We had a few problems with it because my wonderful producer from Stronghold, Stelfindex, gave me a beat and I got Ras Kass on it (before all the shit). When he gave me the track all tracked out, he gave it to me five BPM's slower than it was supposed to be. I have to rerecord that. I'm also working on some new music with Da Circle. I'm also trying to let everybody know about Pack FM's album, WhutduzFMstand4? I hope that people buy the record and put us back on tour. Skyzoo's shit is out too so make sure you cop also. That's my dude too. http://myspace.com/poisonpen

[8] REACT TO POISON PEN'S 13th JOURNAL ENTRY

9/27/2006: Poison Pen Journal Entry #12 It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you, without a strong journal to step to. That's a nice way to start the journal. That's hot. How long has it been? When was the last time I did a journal? It seems like a long time ago. I got emails asking me if I stopped. I only missed a week. This dude comes up to me in Florida and was like, You're that dude from HipHopGame. If I remembered his name I would give him a shout out but I don't remember his name. I just got back from Florida, recording with Nino Bless. I got some songs for you next week. I'll put it up myself because I'm part of the staff now. We recorded a bunch of joints. I'm just finishing up a few projects. We did some stuff for MTV's True Life. I was out there with DJ Lennox. I stayed up in the crib with him. The highlight of my trip was when I was at the crib. We were playing spades and he was my partner in spades and we ran a Boston on these dudes. If you know spades then you know Boston is unbeatable. He's good money with me now. I'm working on a 10 Commandments to internet thugging. I think these motherfuckers need some rules because they're hitting me up but they're not doing it right. How to be a Gangsta Rapper Handbook is coming real soon. There need to be some guidelines. We went clubbing. One club was cool and Club Sin in West Palm had an overzealous doorman. He was just overzealous for no reason. It cost $10 to get in the door and it's nothing for me to pay that. I don't know why he was so overzealous but he missed out on about $500. I hate overzealous security. I don't know. Maybe his overzealousness stems from the fact that it's football season. The news of the week is Kurt Angle leaving WWF for TNA. How you love that? Oh, you don't know about that? Fuck that. Kurt Angle is on TNA now. He's been the best wrestler for the past ten years. I know Vince McMahon is very upset. Everybody's going to watch Spike TV now because Kurt Angle gets busy. The Pack FM album comes out this week. Make sure you go out and buy that shit. And don't ask me what FM stands for. FM stands for…nah, I can't diss him. Hopefully it will stand for Fucking Millionaire. It could stand for Free Money. Funny Midget. Fellatio Master…His album comes out this week. Avatar dropped the ball so they get a big Fuck You. Pack's still going to do his thing. Pack got a 4 in Rolling Stone and Busta only got like a 3. Urb gave him a 4 ½. That's cool. Pack really worked hard on this and it's not just a bunch of punchlines for no reason. Shout out to Pack FM. Hopefully everything goes right with the project. Shout out to the homie Ras Kass too. I know you want my take on what happened. There's three sides to every story. There's the two peoples' sides to what happened and then there's the truth. I can't really comment on it because I wasn't there. I just hope it gets resolved. Ras Kass is my man. I just hope shit gets resolved. And to the fans who say, I've never heard Ras Kass's music…How could you say that? That just sounds stupid. Let's just hope that everything resolves itself. Honestly I just hope that people check his record now. I hope people buy his record because he's my man, my brother DJ Static did tracks on it and Ariel mastered it. So go check Ras Kass's shit because my whole family's a part of it. Hopefully he can flip this situation into people checking out his music. Maybe this bullshit will turn into something positive for him. Pub is pub. A lot of people who weren't paying attention are paying attention now. Eat or Die is in stores! I've been hit in the head with a bottle before. It was in a mosh pit. I can't tell you how it felt so I honestly don't know how it feels to get hit in the head with a bottle. Somebody threw it and it wasn't really that serious. I was like, I just got hit in the head with a bottle. Oh shit. I remember one time at the African-American Parade in Harlem on 7th Ave I saw this dude get busted in the head with a Moet bottle. Do you know how heavy Moet bottles are? This dude broke a Moet bottle on this dude's head. Do you know how hard you'd have to hit the dude? I felt bad for him because he dropped like he was dead. I didn't know him so I proceeded to step away. Bottles, garbage cans and bricks are all dangerous. Getting hit with a bag of ice hurts too. Try it over the summer. Remember the Source editor who hit people in the head with a backpack full of rocks? I'm sure that was a very painful experience and I didn't have to fill a backpack up with gravel to figure that out. Old school New York City shit was when we'd take our combination locks off our locker and put it in our socks and swing that shit. Now you got a weapon. There's wild weapons you can make from regular household utensils. You'd be surprised what you could do with a match and some aerosol. I haven't really talked about ghostwriting yet. Ghostwriting is actually a funny thing. I don't need a ghostwriter. Maybe twelve years from now on my first comeback I'll get that girl from "Chicken Noodle Soup" to write for me. By that time she'll be overage because she's like 12 now. It's funny because people view rap as being so real, like "these are the realest motherfuckers." They don't realize that most of this shit is fake. If somebody's writing somebody else's music, should I really be upset? Is the integrity of the music hurt? A lot of people look at Run-DMC as being the greatest group of all time. The Beastie Boys wrote a song for them. Kane was writing Biz Markie's rhymes. Eazy-E said, "Ice Cube writes the rhymes that I say." If you don't write your rhymes, just don't front. If you're just doing it for entertainment and people like it, don't be calling people out. Then you're just playing yourself. I love Roxanne Shonte but then she started dissing these other girls and she didn't even write her rhymes. Granddaddy IU was writing her rhymes. I can't call you nice if you don't write your rhymes. You may be able to recite it nice. Ghostwriting has been around since the beginning of rap so who cares. Look at "Rapper's Delight." Grandmaster Caz wrote that for the Sugarhill Gang. Personally I can't spit something that somebody wrote for me just for the simple fact that I call myself an MC. I've battled and I've been in the trenches. I've freestyled. For me to have somebody else writing my rhymes wouldn't add up to myself. How can my name be Poison Pen and I don't write for myself? I'll write for people. I don't care. I used to run around with another kid when I was younger and these other dudes would come around us when we were rhyming. They used to ask us to rhyme for them and of course we spit hoping we could get on with them because they were older than us. They were only asking us to spit so they could take our rhymes. I was thinking I would be on but the next time I heard one of their songs there was four lines that I said. They were biting my shit but it's whatever. It's cool. Fuck it. It is what it is. I don't care. I got better rhymes now. If you can't spit it right, it doesn't matter. A lot of shit around ghostwriting sucks. There's one particular ghostwriter who sucks who's always saying, "It's a secret, I can't tell you who I wrote for." When you hear that, they're lying. How come you can't make a hot record for yourself? You're playing yourself. Get the fuck out of here. Some of the motherfuckers are telling the truth and some of the motherfuckers are lying. Word up. Thanks to Nino Bless I missed my flight yesterday and I had to fly back from Atlanta. That shit was very corny but it was actually cool because I got to eat some Chick-Fil-A and a Cinnabon at the airport, so actually good looking out, Nino. I got the caramel pecan bun. That shit is official. Kurt Angle is the news of the week. He's in TNA now. I like fights. I'm a dude who likes altercations. And yes, I know the wrestling shit is fake. There's some real bang-out kickboxing shit where they have to fight four times in a night. Have you ever seen Bob Sapp? He's Warren Sapp's brother. He's the big, doofy dude on The Longest Yard. That doofy, big black dude is 6'8", 340 with 3% body fat, and he fights. He fights! Who wants it with that dude. He actually lost. It's not because he got his ass kicked. It's because you have to fight more than once in a night. This one dude kept kicking his legs and after awhile the dude couldn't stand up anymore. He fights. That's scary. Shout out to the MySpace thugs. Continue to thug. I don't mind you getting at me, just be creative with it. Don't waste my time with the bullshit. Go play checkers if you can't do it right. It's funny seeing them say this shit and then you go to their profile and they're 14 years-old with braces. We mashed motherfuckers out for real. You have to laugh because you have to be an adult. You can't be mad at everybody. Me and Sean Price were talking about doing some shit like Jay and Silent Bob. There was a movie within the movie and there were motherfuckers just shitting on them on the message board so at the end of the movie they showed all their IP addresses. I can relate to that. You got to check the movie. It's completely hilarious. But be creative with your disrespect. I'll appreciate it more. http://myspace.com/poisonpen

[14] REACT TO POISON PEN'S 12th JOURNAL ENTRY

9/12/2006: Poison Pen Journal Entry #11 We had a show for 9/11 last night with Immortal Technique. The show was dope. It was dedicated to the whole 9/11 situation and the truth behind the whole situation. There are so many theories. It's like a whole soap opera is going on. The people who created the Loose Change movie were there. The brother from PrisonPlanet was there also. They presented the movie and he spoke. Then we got on to perform. I was holding it down for Tech, making sure nothing stupid went down. I remember when the attack happened. Who doesn't? I was walking my little brother to day care and I looked up because I could see it directly from my window. He was a little dude. I looked up to the sky and directly out the window you could see it. I could see the sky was mad black over that one area. I was like, Damn, what the hell happened? I walked my little brother up the block to his school and I walked into the bodega to get a hero, because I eat heroes at 9:00 in the morning. I asked the dude what happened and he said a plane crashed into the building. I thought it was fucked up but the fact that it was a terrorist attack was furthest from my mind. I felt badly but I didn't think it was a terrorist attack. I just walked back to the crib and turned the TV on. This was my old crib on Nostrand. I'm looking out the window and I'm watching the TV at the same time. The next thing you know, the other plane hit. I was like, Oh shit. It was scary. I thought the world was over. I thought it was a wrap. Nobody's cell phones were working and the landlines were crazy. I couldn't find one of my mans for two or three days. It could have been a lot worse, but we did what we had to do the day after. Stronghold went out and volunteered down over there at the site. We came out with our shirts on and we got as close as we could. The other building collapsed the day afterwards and when that happened, they said we couldn't do nothing. We tried to do our part for that. Yesterday we just did the joint and today at the site a lot of people are out there with their Investigate 9/11 shirts. They're trying to get answers. That's what's popping out there today. It's the fifth anniversary of doom. I missed Flavor of Love Sunday night because of the show. I'm a little tight because brothers in the hood don't have Tivo and I still have a VCR but I'm not good with the timer. I heard New York came back with a vengeance. I keep getting stopped on the street because of the journal. I got stopped on the street, I got stopped in the club and I got stopped at the show. I'm a hot boy right now. I wonder if 730 gets that kind of attention. It's not a very flattering picture of him up there. I don't have any crazy stories to tell you this time around. This is a note to the people who felt I disrespected Steve Irwin in my last journal. I didn't say anything disrespectful about the Crocodile Hunter. I didn't clown his death. All I said was ever since he dangled his one-month old baby in front of an alligator, he had it coming to him. I didn't have high-five my homies or cry when he died. Death could be a horrible or wonderful thing, depending on your beliefs. All is said was he had it coming to him ever since he endangered his son. If you want to endanger yourself and you're an adult, that's fine. Look at David Blaine and the dude who put pins in his back and flew over the Grand Canyon. Look at Michael Jackson and his face. When you start jeopardizing other people, that's not cool. He dangled his son just to get some oohs and ahhs out of spectators. Rest in Peace. I didn't say anything disrespectful or laugh at the dude. You reap what you sow. Crocodile Hunter, Rest in Peace. I'm going to start giving him shout outs. I can't believe Puffy made a come-back record to 50. It was pretty funny because all he was really saying was he was richer. I've never understood two hundred-millionaires beefing with each other. Get a grip. 50's a smart dude and he's the type of dude who never forgets. He probably still has grudges from when he was on Trackmasters. Now that he's on top of the world, he's a lot of the industry's worst nightmare. 50 was never wack but he was in a bad situation, people tried to kill him and then he got dropped from his deal. I would be the same way too. Shit! Now he's just getting at everybody. I think he's a smart dude. I think there's a method to his madness. I don't think he does stuff just to do it. I can't take beefs seriously. Personally I don't see myself wasting my breath and energy rhyming about somebody else. Whoever I diss is giving them light. That means I dedicated my writing and studio time to talking about something else. That's like a tribute song for somebody else. I would never say never, but I don't see myself wasting time trying to diss somebody on tracks. This goes for rappers and regular people. If you record something or you type something on a message board, you should be able to say the same thing to the person's face. The problem is these motherfuckers turn into groupies when they see you. Plus most of them are closet rappers and closet fans. If you're really dissing somebody, keep in mind, I take shit literal. We used to do battles in the street. If you say, My guns do this, I'll shoot you like that. Let's be real. I'm battling you and you're saying you're going to shoot me. At the end of the verse, if you don't shoot anybody, you're lying. You're a sucker. Spit something that's real. Get out of here. I don't want to hear about your motherfucking Phantom when you're a bum with fucked up Timbs and a brown ring around your white t-shirt and your du-rag stinks. You can't be serious, son. If you're telling me you're going to pop me when you see me and you're going to do something to my kids, I'm taking that as a threat. That's why I don't waste energy on these diss records. A lot of the shit is mad entertaining but there should be certain parameters. When I used to battle and somebody said some fly shit to me, I'm not going to start a fight. If you call me fat, whatever, we're battling. I know we're in a battle. I'm going to try to get you on some rap shit but I'm not going to try and fight you. I have good sportsmanship. But at the same time if I'm walking down the street and somebody says the same fucking thing, I'm going to take that as disrespect. I also heard Buckwild took herself out of the competition when Flav brought New York back in the house and she apparently lost her accent. When you do something fraudulent, it always comes to the forefront anyway. It's not my duty to call out who's real and who's not in hip-hop. I could care less. Any time you're fraudulent, it's going to come to light. Look at all these motherfuckers on some "gangster gangster murder death kill crack" rap. These motherfuckers from the '90s are straight hood. Look at Treach. Look at all their famous records. Happy rap. Heeeeyyy, hoooooo! They did happy, party rap but motherfuckers knew. The records they're known for they didn't cover that stuff but they were mad thorough. You have to take hip-hop with a grain of salt because a lot of these motherfuckers are entertainers. If you entertain, you entertain. Whatever. The problem is when they start to believe their own hype that they spit. That's when it becomes an issue. You know you're not a gangster but you're spitting that gangster shit. That's when that shit comes to light. That's why these motherfuckers end up getting beat up and shot at, because they weren't being themselves. Rocky was a role. Sylvester Stallone didn't run around punching people in the head. Come on, man! It's entertainment. Me personally, I have to keep my shit as truthful as possible. Of course people embellish just for the sake of music, but I can't talk about shit I'm not doing unless it's just so outlandish you know I'm just bugging out. Whatever. It's entertainment. It's just funny. This week I'm finishing up some mixes and I'm going out to Florida to record some tracks with Nino Bless aka Questchon. I'm going to fly out to Tampa and make a few things happen. Big shouts to everybody that reads this motherfucker. Big shouts to everybody. Bed Stuy, I reps that. Anybody who doesn't believe that, come talk to me. http://myspace.com/poisonpen

[18] REACT TO POISON PEN'S 11th JOURNAL ENTRY

9/5/2006: Poison Pen Journal Entry #10 The Crocodile Hunter died. No disrespect, but yo, it's about time. He got killed by a stingray. Rest in Peace, man. Dude had it coming to him ever since he dangled his kid over an alligator. His days were numbered since then. If you take stupid risks, look what happens. I'd rather take risks doing shit that's fun like getting pussy. That motherfucker was crazy. Give him a ride at Great Adventure or something. This motherfucker was running around teasing wild animals. I'm surprised he lived this long. It's about time it happened. I'm not saying it's a good or bad thing, but if you play with fire long enough, your ass is going up in flames. I know on the other side there's a lot of wild crocodiles and stingrays and mooses and kangaroos ready to bust his shit. I saw a raccoon one time in my garbage can. I kicked the garbage can. That motherfucker looked at me like he wasn't phased so I walked in the crib and went inside to let him finish up. I have no problems with him. I saw a dude get attacked by squirrels one time. How do you get attacked by squirrels? I had a cat one time. I fed him. He was cool. He was fat like me and he was real friendly. Leave those animals alone. If you were meant to be an animal you would have been born an animal. I don't have any pets now. I have a few hairy broads. I bet you want to know where I draw the line on hairiness to females. If you have the line from the bellybutton on down, that can be fun. It's like a trail of pleasure. If you can braid your back, we have a problem. If you have one long cornrow from your head to your ass, that's not cool. I kind of encountered that. I realized I had to leave her alone. Nothing ever happened. This was a few years ago. She was trying to holler at the kid. She was decent in the face. She wasn't ridiculous. She had a big ol' rack. That was when I was in my big rack phase. I still love a big rack. So she had a big ol' rack and her face was decent. She was cool. We were talking and we had made plans to get up at this party and do some creeping. I got up with her and she was partying. She was looking decent. We were doing us. She leans in to give the kid a little slobber, a little kiss like that. I was like, Whatever. I grabbed her face and under the neck was wild stubble. Oh, man! I was so disgusted. I be grabbing chicks by their neck sometimes. That's a whole 'nother story. But I felt stubble! I was petrified. I kind of pulled back and played it off. I never called that chick again. That was a morbid experience. That was mad horrifying. Chicks with beards is a no-no. There's surgery for that. You can get the laser zap. It's all good. It's Labor Day! I'm in Brooklyn on Labor Day. It doesn't get no blacker than this! A lot of people are getting trampled today. Everybody's out having a good time today. I'm not partying today. I have to record. I'm doing a new version of "Bottle In My Lap" today. They got rid of the big girl on Flavor of Love. I like big girls. I don't mind big girls, but she wasn't all that. I mean, she had a cool attitude and she connected with him as far as attitude, but he wasn't attracted to her. Being attracted to Flavor Flav is a task unto itself. She got her big girl lingerie out and he started laughing. Then he made a song about it and it was kind of funny. All these girls are such slutbacks. I've always said there's nothing faker than reality television. He tells these girls to entertain his friends. They're bending over for them. One girl shows them her titties. This other retard is diving into the pool with her clothes on. I don't condone hitting women and I don't hit my women, but I would shake the shit out of her for doing shit like that. This chick is showing her titties to the dude! I said, Entertain my friends, not slut yourself out. You want to be my wife? These girls have tons of issues. That girl Nibblz looks like the creature from the Black Lagoon when she wakes up. She looks like she got hit in the face with a spatula that was hot with oil on it. She is subpar! Her body is crazy though. That's what it is. Flav likes the body. I'm not going to be attracted to a chick who talks like a dude who beats people up but her body is sick. Buckwild is another one! She started crying because Like Dat was getting at her. I think she tries to hard but she's funny. She tries to hard. That's why everybody thinks she's fake. She throws on that extra black talk so people think she's a fraud. I think she means well but I think she tries to hard to fit in. I think I would wile out with that chick. She's not that banging though, at all. Buckey and Bootz and then there's Delishis. Wow! Delishis has the backyard that won't quit. Her ass is stupendous. Flavor Flav hit the jackpot with this show. He hit 4-5-6 when he rolled the dice. Now this dude is an icon. There are Flavor Flav fans who don't know Public Enemy. It's amazing. I bet you about three to four of those chicks didn't know anything about Public Enemy when they came on the show. Flavor Flav is damn-near 50 years-old. These girls are in their mid-20's. When Public Enemy was popping, these girls were mad young. What's the last Public Enemy joint you remember hearing on the radio? "Shut Em Down"? You can't count the track for He Got Game. That was like '93 or '94. I think Like Dat knew about Flav. She knew what was good. Krazy fronted like she knew Flavor Flav's music and she didn't. Then Toastee gets called out for porn. They knew that. I got an email from VH1 to be on a show. I think they're giving New York a show like Flav's. I'm not going to be on some show fighting for a smutbucket. I want my own reality show where we just punch motherfuckers in the face. I would have a house with people punching each other in the face. That's the whole show. I haven't sent Chum any new porn lately. I got a lot of requests for the 24th slot on the MySpace but money talks and bullshit runs marathons so nothing's changed yet. I'm going to have an artist spotlight. Keep trying. Try to get that 24th slot at http://myspace.com/poisonpen

[18] REACT TO POISON PEN'S 10th JOURNAL ENTRY

9/1/2006: Poison Pen Journal Entry #9 What's up everybody? I'm in the process of sending some naked pictures of a lovely, lovely lady to Chum. My man got married the other day and we had a bachelor party and I ran into a wonderful, lovely, lovely lady named Pandora, like Pandora's Box. When people do right by me, I like to reward them. Chum just hit me with a great remix and I have about fifty pictures of shorty in all her glory, all her natural nakedness, just how God intended her to be, that I'm sending to Chum to thank him. I would also like to thank everybody who helped me on all my inquiries about my videos the past couple of weeks. I would like to thank my man Flurz who hit me with some wonderful videos for my personal enjoyment. I would like to thank the whole entire HipHopGame community for helping Poison Pen, for free, search for free debauchery. Now I can do productive things like write rhymes. And people always ask, What kind of chicks are you into? My thing is this: as long as you're of age and there's grass on the field, then play ball. I don't have any personal preferences. The only thing is you can't be skinny. There's nothing wrong with being slender or slim, but if I see ribs and you're looking like Nicole Richie, I'm tossing you eight burgers. I can't stand that, especially with my fat ass. You know what they call me in the hood? Ellis Island. I take them in all shapes and sizes regardless of race and creed. Honestly, I love my black women but I don't pigeonhole myself. When you're an underground rapper on the road, there's two black chicks for every five cities, so sorry. I don't stick everything but I definitely get it popping. I was just out in BK shopping for fitteds with my cousin. Not the ones that fall down on your face but the ones that actually fit. They got these cigarette papers that are transparent. Those shits are transparent. They burn mad slow. I personally don't smoke but everybody in the cipher gave it a full thumbs up. Look for those transparent blunt wraps coming to a hood near you. I didn't see Flavor of Love this week. I heard they cut the white chick out this episode. Whoever did the research on Flavor of Love knew she did porn before. That's probably the best show on TV right now. The crazy thing though is how all those girls act like they love Flavor Flav. He's a recovering basehead, but he's an entertaining basehead. When I was in Seattle for a conference, me and Flavor Flav were running through the hotel drinking Hennessey. I know Flavor Flav because I'm a hip-hop head, but these chicks are too young to remember Flav. He's living kind of large. Rick Rubin must have hooked him up with a good deal. Let's see how Spliff Star's mansion is in ten years. And for the record I don't watch anything on TV really besides wrestling and old school music videos. Seinfeld and Fresh Prince are cool. There's this one show on USA I like but the only reason I know about it is because it came on after wrestling. It's mad funny and entertaining. "Can you put me in Immortal Technique's Top 8?" What do I look like, his secretary? I'm glad he's on people's minds and he's my brother, but still… And what do you have to do to crack my Top 8? Nothing. It's all people I actually know and am actually cool with. Everybody in my Top 8 is motherfuckers who have been to my crib and who I actually call. You can pay…if I put you in my top spot, you will get more hits. I got a Top 24. I'll rent out the 24th spot like a mixtape DJ. I'm trying to download some music. I can't find this Prodigy/Alchemist joint. I have enough porn. I feel like the dude in the Taco Bell commercial. I'm full! I was going to set up shop as Garage Band Records. It was going to be a hostile takeover but then I realized that it wasn't going to work. I'm getting the Pro Tools, the MBox and wonderful mic, so it's going to really be popping in a minute. I'm not trying to take anybody's job. I took away Ariel's job and I just gave it back to him. Have I been mistaken for Rick Ross lately? No. Why? I don't have a beard anymore. I cut my beard off! I got the fly baby-smooth skin. I don't need Proactiv. I'd rather show my sexiness. I didn't tape it like Busta Rhymes did. My beard grows back so fast it ain't nothing. My face looks like a bald pussy. My mom started laughing when she saw. That hurt my feelings. The thing is, I had this line in my song. I don't remember it verbatim, but I said something like, I let my beard grow, they say I look like him/I cut my beard off I look like him/I let my 'fro out I look like him. When I had the goatee and I let my 'fro out, I looked like Bonecrusher. When I had the beard I looked like Freeway or Rick Ross. Every fat, black rapper is me now. I don't want to look like these dudes. These motherfuckers look like trolls. I'm going to record some more this week. Foul Play is doing a hook for this Slim Thug shit. Stronghold also just did a mixtape with this UK crew Colony. Shout out to Conspicuous. No drunk stories this week. Sorry. I'm off the wagon. I was going real hard. I figured I would just take it easy for a minute. I like drinking and shit, but it's really nothing for me to not drink. It's not even a big deal. You know what it is? When you throw up two or three times a month, you drink too much. I made a pact with my cousin. If he fell back from smoking, I wouldn't drink nothing. I stuck to my word. He's getting high right now. I will probably get drunk this weekend. It is Labor Day Weekend and all. I probably won't get too twisted. I was going to drink this weekend. I was out in Corona at some after-hours shit. Me and my clique were the only black motherfuckers there. I didn't want to drink and end up as an extra on American Me. I didn't end up drinking. It's Labor Day Weekend, son! I'm about to party. I got a session and it's party and drinks, but I'm not going to drink too much. Brush your fucking teeth. I don't like motherfuckers talking to me with their wild tarter mouth. Your mouth should not smell like an asshole. Brush your teeth. Try to get that 24th slot at http://myspace.com/poisonpen

[7] REACT TO POISON PEN'S 9th JOURNAL ENTRY

8/24/2006: Poison Pen Journal Entry #8 Man, Buckwild is gully for no reason. I would get at her but I wouldn't brag about it. I think she would be a good piece. I think that's because of the things she would say during intercourse. I think she would be highly entertaining. What should I eat now? I'm trying to find some grub. I think I'm going to go with the chicken parmagiana. Do you want to know how Scribble Jam was? Why are you asking me about Scribble Jam? They should change the name to Please Listen to My Demo Jam. Everybody and their grandma was shoving a CD in my face and a lot of them became highway food. A lot of them littered the highway all the way back to Brooklyn. We made a game out of it. It was me, my man GMS from the Plague and Pack FM. As soon as somebody said a wack line or a wack beat, we fast-forwarded. If it got three fast-forwards, it hit the fucking pavement. I was there one whole day. I was there Saturday and we left early Sunday afternoon. In one day I would say I got about 75 CD's. Out of the 75 CD's, about 50 of them hit the freaking interstate. About three of them were actually good and another seven or eight of them were decent enough for me to not throw it out the window. Some dude from Detroit had a decent mixtape. I got a good beat CD too. That's very rare that somebody gives you a beat-CD and they're almost all good. I was pretty happy about that. The battle was whatever. It wasn't as climactic as it's been in prior years. There was this one dude ripping everybody. He's a big, black dude from Chicago with this deep voice who is crazy nice. And he's a rocket scientist. Really, he works for NASA during the day. I also saw C. Rayz Walz out there. We got money out here. I think the problem with the audience is that they expect one form of music. What everyone needs to realize is that hip-hop is mad diverse. I'm not just talking about people there, but there are a lot of elitist hip-hop fans out there who don't really know that much about hip-hop. NWA was dope because they were dope. They weren't just shooting at police, the beats were crazy and the rhymes were crazy. At the same time you have NWA popping, X-Clan was popping on some more positive shit and Tribe Called Quest was popping. Now it's like, I can't listen to that backpack shit and, I can't listen to that radio shit. Hip-hop is all that shit. People act like one type of hip-hop is the only type of hip-hop that exists and that's not true. Sometimes these elitists, whether they're for the backpack or commercial look at other MC's who's not their style like they're crazy. It's whatever. I went out there, made my money and drove back to NY and went to a party. These drunk Canadian chicks spit in my face. No maple syrup. I think her boyfriend was getting mad I was talking to her. He was giving me the eye but I don't think he really wanted that. I give all dudes respect in hip-hop. I give Sage Francis respect. He's a cool dude and he travels to get his money. He was rocking a show for 10,000 people and I'm rocking the side stage for 2,000. MF Doom, who everybody thinks is the overlord of the underground, was rocking the side stage. I've run around and done work with Liveson and Redman and I'm not trying to pigeonhole myself. The only reason HipHopGame won the Best Website Award at the Underground Music Awards was because of the journal. They would have gotten a distant second if it wasn't for me. I can't help being the rock that built HipHopGame.com. No new drunk stories this time. Shout out to my brother DJ Static because he got married last weekend. I was very, very spectacular. I wanted to show respect to him and hold him down. I helped organize the bachelor party and I didn't want to be fucked up. I wanted my boy to enjoy his wedding. This weekend was for him. I didn't want to be at the wedding all hungover and smelling like liquor. We got down on the electric slide and these kids were doing that chicken noodle soup, whatever the fuck that is. I hired Ariel again. My garage band demo didn't go as planned, so he's hired again. He actually found out I fired him by his girl reading the journal. He came to me like, I'm fired? Yeah, you're fired. But he's rehired. When you try to download porn from Limewire, it gets hazardous. Do not try to download porn from Limewire. It takes forever and it is hardly ever what you want it to be. You have to preview it when you're downloading it and if it's not what you want you have to delete it. I put in one thing and got another. Downloading porn is not my expertise nor do I need to further these skills. That's not my bag of tricks nor do I need to look any further into it. Limewire's a no-no for porn. But 730 was wrong. I've had my computer for more than a week and I didn't fuck it up. I bought a hard drive so I could store everything on the hard drive so my computer still operates at wonderful speeds while storing everything. I didn't tell him that. This is wonderful. I received a MySpace threat the other day. An overzealous young fan told me to never come back to his town again and he proceeded to tell me how much I suck and that me and Immortal Technique should go somewhere to "suck eggs." Those were his exact words. Mind you, I've been to his town three times in the last year and sold out every time. I'm pretty sure he could have come to me to express his grievances. Only three or four months after we leave his town in the Southwest does he tell me to go suck eggs. Mind you he requested me as a friend first and then insulted me. Is this the new era of gangsterism? How do you go online to tell somebody they suck? Did you high-five your boys over your keyboard after you did that? Did you feel that much better? I looked at his page and he's 17 years-old and a buck-oh-five soaking wet with a brick in his back pocket. I'm not Superman but I'm far from soft. I don't go back on there typing comments but I'm glad he took time out of his busy schedule to comment on mine. Make friends with Poison Pen at http://myspace.com/poisonpen

[8] REACT TO POISON PEN'S 8th JOURNAL ENTRY

8/15/2006: Poison Pen Journal Entry #7 I just got the MacBook! Shit is on and popping. Fuck a record label! I'm working on my garage band demo. It's going to be on Garage Band Records. I got a microphone/camera/whatever. Me and my man Ed Hoarse are working on it now. I got Final Cut Pro and Pro Tools. I got everything on here. I'm just sitting here experimenting with shit. It's bugged out. This is going to take demos to another level. I'm going to start emailing mad tracks now. We just started fucking with it an hour ago. I just got the computer two days ago. Breez is teaching me a lot and I just got some beats from my man Omid. He did joitns for Fabolous and Paul Cain, "Why Wouldn't I" and Paul Wall. We went to school together. I'm just wiling out recording. The MacBook is making life easier. I can check my email on a regular basis and I can keep my cyber-girlfriends happy. Word up. All I have to do is turn the lights real low, go on my little websites and saran-wrap the keyboard. I went to Rocksteady last weekend. It was different. Shout out to the whole Rocksteady Crew. It was cool. It just felt so different. It's in Jersey now. I've been going to Rocksteady events since I was a little dude, since it was in Rocksteady Park in like '93. Honestly it was fun but it's not what it was. There were a lot of legendary performances. Q-Tip came out for a surprise performance, Large Professor, Freddie Foxxx and Pack FM. Me and Immortal Technique were there chilling. It was cool for the community. It's dope that something positive can come to the community, but it honestly felt like something was missing. I got to build with Freddie Foxxx again and say whaddup to Premo. But it just felt different. Maybe because it's not on the Pier anymore or because it's not 10,000 strong. It just felt different even with Big Daddy Kane bodying it. He still gets busy like he's 20 years-old. My people from End of the Weak hosted it. The MC Challenge was hot. It was a real local crowd. It was more hood than normal. I think a lot of people were deterred from coming. A lot of people hear "New Jersey" and say, "I'm not going there." It's 35 minutes from my crib in Brooklyn. There were a lot of people who came out, don't get it twisted, but it was real local. I'm going to Ohio tomorrow for Scribble Jam. We got the white guy driving so hopefully I don't get pulled over. We're trying to get that money. I think Kane is going out there too. Kane is going hard. He did the Scribble Jam shit and the Rocksteady shit. I saw "Smooth Operator" on VH1 last night. And yeah, I'm going out to Scribble Jam. People might see me and think certain things about me but I go where the support is. I go where the support is and I go where the money is and if people are willing to shoot down supporters and fans then they're fucking idiots. They need to keep rapping in the basement or something. It's obvious that I'm from Brooklyn. It's obvious that I'm black. It's obvious that I'm from the hood. At the same time, do I have to stay on my block? I'm going to go where the support is. I'd rather get supported by long-haired white kids with sandals than sit on my block acting tough and being broke. I'll be at any event from a Flex party to a DJ Eclipse party. It's nothing to me. I go where the love and support is. Anybody in their right mind should go where people support them. At the end of the day, I'm not going to stop how I rhyme or who I rhyme for, I'm going to rhyme for my people and I make shit for the moshpits. How many black people do you see in moshpits? Black people don't want their Timb's scuffed, their shirt stained or their fitted messed up. Whiteboys don't care. I'm wiling out with them then. Am I white? No. Do I live in a white neighborhood? No. Motherfuckers got love for me so I got love for them back. If they want to book me for a show in Iowa or Wyoming I'm there. I need to get money. I need to get some more programs for my MacBook. Word is bond. Long live the long-haired whiteboys. People got it twisted at those Scribble Jam events and things like that. There's a lot of brothers up there too, but who cares? Support my shit! 730 said my Mac would last a week from getting porn viruses. You have to practice safe cybersex. I beat off with a condom on. It's nothing for me. I put a little extra protection on the screen. I'm good money. Plus Mac's don't get viruses. I picked a wonderful device. I just take what other people downloaded so it doesn't fuck my shit up. I also got a few passwords from some of my friends. I got the bangbus.com password and the bootytalk.com joint. Mind you I'm not even online yet. They have to come to the crib and hook it up. I should have the internet when I come back. I'm not going to give a porn site my credit card. I'd feel like a real pervert doing that. They might put me on one of those sexual predator lists with my freaking name and address. I like sex as much as the next man but I'm not abusing it. I just talk shit. When you're walking by with your 12 year-old daughter, you don't have to worry about me doing nothing. I got respect and I don't get down like that. You're not going to find me hiding in a woman's bathroom stall taking pictures. I'm not in a woman's bathroom stall unless I'm in there with a shorty. I'm going to pounce on her and bounce on her! You've got to do the pounce and bounce. I'm nobody yet but let me tell you about this. This chick took my number because she heard I was in the Chappelle movie. If you blinked, coughed or were laughing from a previous scene, you would have missed me. She recognized me from a millisecond. Shorty wanted to pop off. You know how the story pops off. Imagine if I was really a fucking star. I could only imagine. I'm anticipating. If you're going to holler at me because I was in a movie, imagine if I wrote the skits or chilled with him! I don't know that dude like that. It's just funny when people see you in certain situations and assume it's more than it really is. I'm on the fucking train every day. Who am I to deny anyone though? If you heard my voice on a video game and want to get with me, who am I to say "no"? This is the benefits of my hard labor. Have you seen the new Vibe Magazine cover? I've been in love with Janet Jackson my whole life since I was a little kid and she was on Different Strokes. Even when she was a fat girl and they took the extra rib out so she could be a not-so fat girl...I just saw the new Vibe Magazine and I would still handle my business. She's looking eerily more like Michael Jackson every year even though Michael doesn't look like a male or a female. He's like a hybrid of a male and female. I used to really want to run through Janet but this cover she's looking more like Michael and I'm scared. This garage band demo sounds hot! Ariel is fired. I called him earlier. Ariel is fired. I got a MacBook, son. Ariel was fired due to Poison Pen's MacBook acquisition. That dude cares about soccer more than any human being on the face of the earth. All he has to do now is go outside and find another fat rapper and he'll be all right. Now that everybody knows I'm fat I have to eat more. I wake up at three in the morning and get a bunch of Twix and eat them and get a Starbucks Frappuccino with extra caramel, drink it and go back to sleep. I have 11:00 steak dinners. I have to uphold an image. It's Fatboy P! Get your weight up not your hate up because you might get ate up. I enjoy being cuddly. The hoes enjoy me being cuddly. I'm on the Fatkins Diet. I'm just playing with my computer. I'm getting ready for Ohio for a few days. I'm going to come back and record some more shit. I'm going to be laying down so many tracks and demos. If anybody wants to host a mixtape I'll have the drops back in fifteen minutes. And my shit came with a free printer! I can print out the porn frame-by-frame and I'm going to put it in my pocket and make a flip-book. Anytime I get bored I can look at it. Shit when I was in school...I think everybody in Brooklyn used to boost. It didn't matter what it was. It was a sport. We used to play Street Fighter there. They had mad porno mags at the newsstand. There was this kid and he wasn't that popular but he was nice. I wasn't always all that popular but I had my clique and I was always outgoing. Some of the motherfuckers I'm still cool with today like DJ Self. I'm not going to say this dude's name even though I know he doesn't read HipHopGame. He was one of those dudes you'd always borrow a dollar from. Everyone is horny and no one's gotten pussy yet. I used to go in the store and steal the Score and the Hustler. The kid used to wait by the lockers at lunch every day and he would buy porn from me. When I say "porn," I do not mean a magazine. I would rip out the pictures and sell him a picture at a time. I would charge him a dollar a picture and $3 for a centerfold. By the time I got through this magazine that I stole, I had made $35. He would meet me every day by the lockers or the bathroom. What kind of a hustle is that! He would come to me every day like I was selling drugs. "You got the stuff?" He would meet me every day. I couldn't believe it. I saw the dude a little while ago. He's bald and he looks like he's 40. He's a chef. I don't think I'd want him touching my food because I know he was spanking it all of the time. He went bald. He's got the retarded sunroof like crazy. You guys probably want another drunk story. That probably means I have a problem if I'm always expected to have a new drunk story. It's not as fly as the other ones. I had some Brugal's, it's a Dominican rum, and I had a fifth of the Cuervo rum and some other shit. Then we went to the Brooklyn Museum. Real niggas go to museums. Real niggas eat crepes. And real niggas drink Starbucks. I was with a few of my dudes and we were just getting fucked up beyond recognition. Something told me to get something to eat. Believe it or not, even though I'm a fat boy, I don't eat all the time. It was midnight and I hadn't eaten all day. When you're out there grinding and you don't eat, you don't even think about it. I went to a Chinese restaurant. I don't eat at Chinese restaurants I don't know. I just get french fries. How can you fuck up motherfucking cut-up potatoes? Kung Kau is my place in Brooklyn by the way. That's my place. I just got some french fries. Of course when you've drunken three fifth's it doesn't matter. All of a sudden two chicks come out of nowhere and grab my ass and another one is rubbing on me. Then I black out and next thing I know I'm at an African party. I don't know how I got there but all I know is I'm sitting there with the same chick. Did she ride with me? I don't know. Did she take a cab there? I don't know. Did she run there? I don't know. Did we get physical? I don't know. I don't remember. We're sitting by the door and this chick stumbles in and falls on her face at my feet. I guess she had a better night than me. Then I laid down on the couch and you know how that ends. I was vomiting on an empty stomach. When you vomit on an empty stomach it's like your mind is like, "Yo dog, I don't have anything in there" and your stomach is like, "I gotta get this out." Imagine you're sitting there vomiting and nothing's coming out, You lay down and you start vomiting again. Next thing you know you're vomiting colors you didn't know existed. I'm going to take a small break from drinking. That wasn't a classic story. I don't think anything happened there because if I did, my genetilia would have felt different. Make friends with Poison Pen at http://myspace.com/poisonpen

[9] REACT TO POISON PEN'S 7th JOURNAL ENTRY

8/3/2006: Poison Pen Journal Entry #6 Damn they just pulled out that old cobra clutch from the '80's. Hulk Hogan looks like a fucking piece of leather. He has an orange glow to him. He's nuclear. But what's good? Hulk is hulking up, son! You know what's funny about Hulk Hogan? Every match I can remember since I was a kid, the match has gone the exact same way and the crowd acts like they didn't know it was going to happen. He gets fucked up, Hulks up, comes off the ropes, hits you with the freaking clothesline, hit you with the leg drop and pin you. I love wrestling but it's funny when the audience acts like they didn't know it was going to happen. I should grow a mustache like Hogan and look like a porn star. I don't watch his show but it's better than showing up on The Surreal Life looking like a washed-up Chyna. This week was good. I had a lot of fun this week. I went to the Mobb Deep/Boot Camp show with Raekwon. I was very happy because Raekwon remembered 70% of his rhymes. The last time I saw him he only remembered 30%. I think the soundman was in the bathroom taking a shit when Boot Camp was rocking but they still killed it. Some dudes from Baltimore opened up. The crowd went crazy when Sean P came out with "Onion Head" and they did some of their new joints. Mobb Deep came out and they're not known for their stage show but they came out and rocked. They could have done all their joints. I felt like a little kid. I was a one-man moshpit. My white tee was all brown because I spilt my fifth of Cuervo on it. I was happy to see them rock because a lot of people think they're not hot. They have so many joints. When you have that many joints, you don't have to be great performers. Just be audible. Don't cup the mic and don't have a 180-man entourage. It's funny when there's one dude rapping, forty dudes with mics, and 100 people just ice-grilling the crowd. They just had three people on stage. Shit was hot. I was glad to see that. My man Diabolic had a show with Rack Lo and all that. They were wiling out there. That shit was fun too. I'm just chilling trying to get this photo shoot done for the album. I went in the closet and I picked out the old cross-color purple jeans and the first Karl Kani shirt with the script on it that I got at the Black Expo in '91. I had my Reebok Pumps. I was killing them. No British Knights for me. I stopped wearing them after Hammer did those wack commercials for them. I'm not going to lie, I love Hammer, but he lost me after he was dancing for the popcorn chicken on television. I can't cosign a black man dancing on TV for chicken. You can't cosign a black man dancing on TV for chicken. I see why Dave Chapelle didn't want his skit to run with the black pixie. I saw that shit and it was a little iffy. I watched these last few episodes and it's whatever. I wasn't even that intrigued. I was watching but it didn't make me laugh like the other ones. That's probably why he left. It's kind of like the rap game. When you go hungry for so many years and you don't have shit, that's your motivation to succeed at all costs. But once you hit that apex and you're getting well-received, you don't really have that motivation and drive. I'm not saying he lost his drive, but you just don't have that motivation anymore. Think about it. Dude was struggling for all these years. He did Half-Baked which was good but it wasn't that big. Now that he has $50 mil, what's his motivation? If you had $50 mil, what would be your motivation? You don't have to do shit. What's your motivation to be funny? That's why a lot of rappers' shit changes once they get on because they can't rap about being broke and struggling and being on the block. You can't rap about that shit no more. What's the point? Dave Chapelle is still a young dude and he already reached his apex. He's going to have to switch gears and find something else to do. I laughed at the new episodes but it's not the same as before. My shows on Comedy Central are Mind of Mencia and Reno 911. Mind of Mencia is hilarious. It's mad technical to decipher when a joke is funny and when a joke is racist. It's like using the word "nigga." All I know is I know it when I see it, like, "That's fucked up." You can tell when something is said with a joking intent or a malicious intent. You can tell. It's hard to put it in words. You just have to see it. A lot of things are better off not said. At the same time, there's a big double-standard. There are double-standards when it comes to women, black people and white people. I can say, "Whaddup, nigga," to a whiteboy but if he says it back to me, I'm ready to flip. It's just how it is. It's the same thing with women. They get mad sometimes when I hold a door for them, but then they want you to change the water cooler in the break room. They say they can't do it because they're a fucking girl. Women don't really want to be treated equal. They want to be treated like women with perks. I'm not going to lie. I spit tough but I'm a gentleman. I hold doors open for ladies and I give women my seat on the bus because deep down in my heart I have respect for the women who deserve respect. I give you respect first but then I call it how I see it. Women want to be treated equal until it's convenient to be a woman. "Oh, can you carry this bag for me?" "You had it, you're good. You carried it this far. Oh, it's because you're a girl. Oh, right!" "Can somebody change the bottle of water in the break room?" "You're thirsty. Call your man up to do that dumb shit. Oh, shit, that's the Rock back when he was black! But people use that shit whenever they want. When I'm driving and I'm with a whiteboy and we get pulled over, it's mad convenient for me because I know I'm not going to jail. I've been in cars with white people and cars with black people, and it's mad different. 730's driving me to Scribble Jam this year! When I'm with a whiteboy and we're driving and we get pulled over, it's nothing. The car could smell like weed and all that and it's nothing. It's true. White people do have a place in hip-hop! Get a white road manager and you'll be all right every time. And if all you can say about me to insult me is I'm fat, damn think of something constructive. If you're sitting at home and you're 30 and I beat you in a battle in '97 and you're sitting at home with your cornball friends and calling me fat makes you feel good, feel free to do it. You can say who I sound like, but nobody knows who you sound like. It's funny. I see these comments and a lot of them are hilarious. It's obvious that a lot of the things people say are by people who know me. It's nothing about my music. If you're 30 and you have rap dreams, give it up. If it makes you feel good to diss somebody on a website, feel free. I'm not going to get in a fight over internet comments, but we can always discuss our grievances in person. I don't think that will happen because the internet thuggery is on the rise and the internet crime rate has risen. It all comes with the territory. It's all gravy, man. If writing about me under a fifth alias makes you feel good, go ahead and do it. I should start dissing myself. Let's get it out of the way. I'm fat. What else? I can't rhyme. That's fucking ridiculous. What else can you say about me? What else can you say about me besides I'm fat? That's the best thing. Oh yeah, I sound like Ghostface, Freeway and Stack Bundles. I don't even know what Stack Bundles sounds like. I look like Bonecrusher. I sound like M.O.P and a fake-ass Freeway. Oh yeah, I wear funny glasses. They're cracking on my stunnas. If you want to hate, email me and I'll give you a bunch of different things to say about me. Ahmed Johnson just pinned the Rock like crazy! Yo, I got another great drunk story for you! This just happened the other night. I was out with my homeboy Pack FM and we were chilling. I'm out drinking and all that with him. See what happened is my man Lyrics and the drinks were wild expensive and I was drinking Cuervo. My man Lyrics snuck a bottle of vodka into the spot. I don't drink vodka but it was free so son started giving me mad vodka. I'm drinking and I don't even remember when I got home. I get home and I go to sleep. I have a dream that I threw up in the hallway. Mind you I'm drunk and I slept from 4 in the morning to 4:30 in the afternoon. I'm asleep for twelve and a half hours. I look at my shirt and it's clean and I don't have vomit breath. I feel good and I'm good money. My cousin's walking out with a friend of his. As he's walking out, he yells out, "Yo, you threw up in the fucking hallway?" "Nah, I didn't throw up in the fucking hallway!" "Somebody threw up in the fucking hallway." Needless to say I walk out into the hallway and there's some nice thirteen-hour old vomit in my apartment. Mind you it's 95O so it smells very, very lovely. I had to clean that up. That was very serious. This is part two of my T-Mobile rampage. I'm tired of penis enlargement and performance-enhancing emails. I'm tired of spam. I don't need to have a better sex life and I don't need a pill to do that. I don't need somebody giving me a hot stock market tip. I don't need that. I got an email from somebody telling me my car was selected for Pimp My Ride. How is that even possible when I don't have a car? They were asking for my credit card number. I didn't eat spam when I was little and I hate it even more now. That's my rant of the day. Shout out to my man Breez Evahflowin'. He's doing a podcast and all that. I was a featured artist on that show so if you fuck with the iTunes go find that. That's about it for now. Make friends with Poison Pen at http://myspace.com/poisonpen

[20] REACT TO POISON PEN'S 6th JOURNAL ENTRY

7/18/2006: Poison Pen Journal Entry #5 I went to Ihop today. I thought I was hungry but I fooled myself. I went up there thinking I was hungry and I got me a country-fried steak. The waitress looked at me funny because I asked for crepes like a dude from Bed Stuy can't ask for crepes. I put some extra cheese on the eggs and all that. It's a wonderful thing except I wasn't that hungry. I ate like half of it. Everything else is cool. The Boot Camp album is coming out. They're on the road. I'm supporting those dudes. I'm not on the tour or nothing, but you know, whatever. The album is tight. They have a lot of good joints on there. They're doing the Nokia Theater with Mobb Deep and Raekwon on the 19th. That's what it is. I'm just recording more joints so more people can stop asking who I am. It's only cool when Mike Jones does it, and it's not even that cool when he does it. I'm out here like a politician at every spot in the city from the underground spots to the R&B spots to everywhere else right now. I'm trying to keep everything moving. The mixtape is going to drop in '07 because they want to put a good push behind it. We're going to push it like an album. We're going to be doing singles and ads, real official ads for once in my life. We want to get a good push behind it. It's looking like it's going to be in January. I did a few new joints for that, so people who have this version of the mixtape don't feel like they got cheated. I didn't want to just put the same thing out twice. A lot of stuff is the same, but I did a few new songs for it and took a few out. It's a greater version of the first one. There's no industry beats on there. The ladies are beautiful. That's been moving along quite nicely. That's all I can say. I did go to the club last night and met this freaky old chick trying to get her groove on. I was at the club because I was bored. It's the only place I can go at 3:30 in the morning. I was out there at like 3:30 in the morning and there was just some wild, old chicks. The chick asked me how old I was and she told me I was young. Her son was 36. I was like, "Wow." I stepped away from her. I'm 300 pounds and she's got a good 50 on me. That wasn't a good look. I'm trying to make love not bacon. I left her immediately and practically ran home. I took a shower. I definitely had to shower because I was feeling a little icky. 50 years-old is kind of pushing the envelope a little bit, nah, scratch that, a lotta bit. Who was President when she was born? Roosevelt? When you get older, the years really start to fly by. A lot of people couldn't see past 2000 and now it's 2006. You can learn about the year 2000 on the History Channel. The time flies by so fast. It's like, oh snap, it's the weekend again. I have to write another journal. It seems like I just did the last entry. You really have to grab life by the horns. Whatever you do, you have to seize the opportunity because time flies. I refuse to live as one of those coulda, shoulda, woulda-type dudes. I have to make this happen whether it's with Stronghold, Duck Down, or Cleopatra. If you don't take advantage of these days, you're going to be a very disappointed dude one day wondering what happened to the rest of your life. I refuse to be that dude. David Blaine is a freaking nutcase. I do not understand him. There was that other dude who was up in the sky with the pins in his back. They flew him over the Grand Canyon with his iPod on so he could listen to his music. These motherfuckers are crazy. I don't know what drives certain people to do certain things. Those dudes are bugged out. What's going on with David Blaine? What possesses you to submerge yourself in water for a week and when he got out he said, "I don't know what I was thinking." I could have told him that before he went in. That's a dude you don't want to throw hands with. He's probably got some crazy moves. You could be throwing down and he could do some acrobatic move and stab you with a pitchfork. Then there's that other guy who was picked up with a helicopter with pins in his back and flown over the Grand Canyon. They picked him up by his skin. I don't even cross Queens Boulevard with the light being green. Trying to cross the street out here is like playing Frogger. I don't even go to the corner store after 12. There's other shit we have to worry about here than putting pins in our back and flying over the Grand Canyon. Have you ever watched curling? That's the dumbest fucking sport, ever. What is curling? They're shaving ice. They're playing scully with ice. Scully's more competitive. Is there even a curling season? I would turn on the TV and everyone would be watching curling. What's the phenomenon with shaving ice? There are a lot of things I don't understand, like rowing. To each his own. I like to eat my Captain Crunch with vanilla Haagan Daaz. I'm going to start a new sport. I know they already have the yodeling championships. What's the other thing I was watching? I'm going to start the Indian Burn Championships. Word up. I'm going to start up the Indian Burn Championships. Everyone's going to come out with sandpaper and gloves and all that shit. There was some dumb shit I saw and I can't remember it. They had a referee and all that. [Ed. Note: Soccer?]. 730 told me I should enter those lumberjack contests with the flannel and all that shit. I could do the wood-sawing championships. There are so many retarded sports, like the World's Strongest Man Competition with dudes pulling trains. What made you realize one day that you could pull a locomotive? How do you realize that like, "Damn, son, I can pull a locomotive!" If I could do that I could knock somebody's block clean off. That shit is crazy, son. I've tried to pull a train after shows when I'm drunk. I've attempted to pull a few trains. I have a lot of drunk stories. Last year, I was so tore up and the only reason I remember this is because my man taped me on his video phone. I didn't believe it. I got so drunk I laid out in the middle of Broadway on the sidewalk. I laid out like a homeless dude. I didn't want to walk anymore. I laid out and put my hands behind my neck like I was in bed and chilling. Then I went into a restaurant and while we were ordering I spit on the waiter. I spit on everything. I can't go back to the restaurant. Dude was wiling but we were twenty-deep in the restaurant. It was a bad look. I'm not going back. I can admit when I played myself. I played myself. That's why I can't drink like that. I drink heavy, but I can't drink to the point where I don't remember what happened. When you can't remember what happened, that's a bad look. Score DVD's are great. Those are the porn joints with the real big-titty bitches. They're like the silicone joints with the airbags. And I see a lot of people hating. You don't have to like something, but when you hate for no reason other than to hate, that's just corny. If you're mad I have a journal and you don't, then it sucks to be you and don't read it. If I don't like something, I ignore it. I'm not going to waste my time reading it and then say something negative about it. They're not going to say that to me in person. Worry about yourself. I got something else to say: T-Mobile fucking sucks. T-Mobile fucking sucks because they sell you these faulty devices like the Sidekick 3. They keep freezing. I didn't even pick one up yet. I'm still on the 2. When people have something wrong with what they bought, you should fix that. They shouldn't make you go through insurance and pay $110. Their keyboard bubbles up and it's a known issue. It's not like I smashed it and want to get a new one. They're selling a faulty product. I hate those people. They can suck my dick. If I didn't have a contract with dudes I would have been done with them. I didn't really do anything too special this week than record and chase a few people down the Ave. Lying out in the streets definitely gets you some cool points. I really am out in the streets! The streets hold me down! It's 500 degrees out here and I'm hot. My other door broke again. Word.

[22] REACT TO POISON PEN'S 5th JOURNAL ENTRY

7/11/2006: Poison Pen Journal Entry #4 I just got my new cable with the music channels! They're playing Hammer! Oh shit! I need that in my iPod. They're not ready for that. They don't play no Hammer on HipHopGame. I liked him. I don't give a fuck what nobody says. "Turn This Mother Out" was that shi