Found a bar on craigslist. A giant wet bar. That sounds dirty..
A bar from the 70's, L shaped, copper top... gorgeous. Just right for the new apartment.
Called.. thought for sure it wouldn't be available..
IT WAS YAY!
Can I come pick it up the next day? Fuck yeah I can.. Yessssssss!!!
Call my favorite moving guy.....
Due to unfortunate stupid circumstances, had him waiting for an hour and a half.. but he's cool.. he waited.. (paying for wait time of course)
Get there.. see it.. Hug the guy selling it.. It's AMAZING.. PERFECT! All that shit..
Load it in the van.. It's damn heavy..
Rode in the back of the van all the way. Sitting on the floor. I didn't care, i was just excited about having the damn bar. I would've rode on the roof, held on by ropes to get that thing home.
A good Idea.. would have been to measure the door.. elevator.. and the bar.. you know.. to make sure.. right.
Just though, "EH.. it'll happen cause I say it'll happen"
We try one way.. NO GO.. bring it back out.. it's just smashing into the wall now and not getting through the door.
Take it back outside..
Did I mention this this is FUCKING HEAVY?
Also, it's 90 million degrees out. So.. a great situation for everyone involved.
Now in all of this moving, thee is a tiny Jamaican man, with a very large head scarf. Scarf is about the size of his torso.
He seems concerned about us getting the bar in the door. He stops. Offers advice.
"Na whie you gwan turna ting that way now? Ya turna ting thees way now fa the dahr is hin de way, then ya juss poosh it. Poosh."
We stop for a second and look.. and translate.. and kinda think. Wait.. he could be right about this.
We try it his way. The bar goes in the door!
This is when you resist saying, "Thank you Jamaican moving fairy!!' YAAAY!" and waving. Cause he DID disappear. Only way it would have been cooler was if he just imploded, like *thhhhhhhpop* and all that was left was his scarf, dropping to the floor.
SO here we are in the lobby..
Uh oh.. how are we...this is NOT going to fit in the elevator.
And there's no effin way that we are going to carry this thing 4 flights up.
Well, fortunately, I have experience in knowing that sawing a bar in half is OK!
The last one didn't have the plumbing and sink... but we can just get that out.. saw off the corner... and then move it in two pieces.. Put in back together upstairs, glue.. paint. SPLADOW! Good as new.. BETTER even!
Anyone have a saw?
No one has a saw.
Well, I know some friends who do stuff like that!
Said friends are too late.
We left that bar in the lobby. for 1 1/2 days.
Spent the day doing home shopping, Home Depot and such..
Came in the door.. The bar was gone. Just gone. Vanished. Like the Moving Fairy.
The sadness of this realization and anger start to kick in.. ... 'But.. But.. YOU CAN'T JUST TAKE IT!..or or.. THROW IT OUT!! OR THINK THAT WE WERE THROWING IT OUT!"
Who in the hell would be throwing a bar out of their apartment in a brand new building? Everyone just got here! It's not like in one of the apartments, there was a bar in the middle of the floor and someone was like oh no.. we gotta get that outta here. and furthermore.. there was CLEARLY, NO WAY that it could have COME FROM upstairs. Impossible.
Unless the bar was made out of Kiddy Pride parts... which I don't think it was.
SO.. at this point, the story is.. The Super dismantled it (Which is impossible..unless he had the hammer of Thor or a SAW...which he does NOT) and threw it away.
I think not.
I think someone is enjoying our bar right now. I hate them.
The worst part is.
The countertop is just here. On the floor. Like a chalk outline of a dead bar.
What the fuck am I gonna do with a Giant Copper "J"???
Bar.. come home.. you are missed.