Master P is apparently going to stop swearing in his raps. Great. Now his vocabulary is limited to three words – “ugghh,” “naaa” and “na na na naaa,” which is not to be confused with “naaa.”
Romeo’s going to stop cursing in his music too. The big surprise there is that I didn’t even know Romeo made music.
The dynamic duo is also going to release a father-son album titled Hip-Hop History. Technically, how can that be hip-hop history after Birdman and Lil’ Wayne? Maybe Perc and Romeo are pulling the biological card as they leave their mark on history forever.
Here’s a great line from a press release on Huey, not to be confused with Nelly, Jr. “Huey ain’t all just ‘Pop, Lock and Drop It.” His new single ‘When I Hustle’ featuring Lloyd offers another side and sound of Huey. The track is on it’s [sic] way to radio and is sure to explode!” You’ve got to love the overeager publicist who abandons musical taste for the check at the end of the day. I know everyone has to get paid, but on the morality scale, it’s probably better to sell cigarettes outside of an elementary school than promote Huey and any Huey-related matters.
You’ve got to love the fact that we get to see “another side and sound” of Huey. That’s just what we need. So we’ve seen the buffoon side with his first song and now we’ll see the grimy street side of good ol’ Huey.
You’ve also got to love how publicists tell you how a song is going to “explode.” Every publicist that’s ever promoted any song has ever said that. It really doesn’t work anymore. You can’t say everything is going to “explode” or “blow up,” because even those 16 year-old kids with pube mustaches who run fireworks stands for a couple of days in July can’t guarantee that. Note to publicists – no matter who and what you represent, saying something is going to explode is like that hooker telling you she’s clean. Sure, she may be, but the other 10 you bought last month probably weren’t, no matter how many times they told you they’ve never popped Valtrex and rode bikes in the park.
Huey’s album is titled Notebook Paper, which is what his advance check should have been written on.
Note to everyone who plays basketball. No matter how bad Game wants to run one if he’s in your area, just say no and run away, fast. Dude allegedly pulled a gun on a dude during a game. Imagine how that one went.
“Dude, that’s a foul.”
”Foul? I didn’t touch you.”
“Nah, that’s a foul. My ball.”
”Geez, Game. Your next album should be The Referee’s Advocate.”
“I got fouled like Magic against Bird.”
”Huh?”
”Or like James Worthy and AC Green!”
“Oh, it’s the name-dropping.”
“One foul! One foul! One foul! One foul! Da da da da da.”
“Please don’t sing, Game. This is a basketball game, after all.”
”Basketball? What? I am the Game!” (Game reaches for his gun, everyone runs. Game wins by forfeit.)
Good to see Diddy getting his politic on and performing at a Princess Diana tribute concert. What better way to salute her highness than by performing “I’ll Be Missing You”? Just switch the word “block” for “castle.” I also can’t wait to hear the remix “It’s All About The Diana’s.” Is there anything better in hip-hop than Diddy performing at tribute concerts?
Since Puffy is performing there, does that technically make him the King of New York?
Kanye and his mom are putting out a book about the sleepy driver. No comment.
Bow Wow and Omarion are working on an album together. It’s the first time an album has ever come with a guarantee that every heterosexual male who listens to the album from front to back will soon develop a craving for belly shirts and George Michael CDs.
Some people will just never go away. Everyone’s least favorite video “vixen” (that is the correct term today, right?) is getting her own TV show. It’s reportedly going to give viewers a glimpse into her everyday life, which apparently includes “taking trips to a Land Rover dealership, top-secret magazine cover shoots and making public appearances.” First off, no matter how good or bad your Land Rover is, what are you doing taking trips there all the time and what are you doing when you get there? I could see going down there once in awhile to get a part fixed or replaced, but everyday? And how about those “top-secret magazine cover shoots”? I know every time I get to a newsstand all I see is Superhead’s grill plastered on every magazine, from Time to Newsweek to XXL to Sports Illustrated. And this is every week. Impressive. Seriously, what top-secret” photos shoots are going down? And by the whole “public appearances” thing, wouldn’t it have just been better for the publicist to put in “bachelor parties”?
As long as we’re talking about publicists in this column, I think it’s only right to shout out the publicist with the most difficult job – publicizing Twista. His camp has been sending out press releases lately and I can only imagine the trouble that dude has getting those press releases ready to send out.
“Twista, can I please get a quote about your new album?”
”Myalbumissodopeyouhavetocheckitoutbecauseitisreallythetruthandifyoudontyou’llreallyregretitbecauseishowedalotofgrowthonthisone.”
”When is the album coming out?”
“Thanks, Twista. That’s all for now.”
In a cloud of dust, Twista disappears.
And last but not least, how about Jared the Subway guy allegedly running an adult version of Blockbuster out of his dorm room? Some of his classmates allege that the only reason he ate Subway was because it was in the basement of his dorm and he was too lazy to go anywhere else to eat. It’ll make you think twice before ordering the Jared Mayonnaise the next time one of those “sandwich artists” don the plastic gloves.
05/13 - 
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