Another week and more talk about how hip-hop influences bigots to spread their bigotry. As Bruno would say, “Grrreeaaattt.” And it’s not like it’s surprising or anything, but it still gets me every time, no matter how unblindsiding it is. Let’s keep in mind that rap CD’s with explicit content come with an explicit material logo. You know you’re purchasing a healthy dose of foulness every time you pick up a CD, be it rap or not, with that black and white label. Imus does not come with that logo unless it’s taped under that played out cowboy hat.
Another show that doesn’t come with that label is Desperate Housewives. For a show that comes on early on a Sunday night, they sure put a lot of explicit material in their show. ABC apparently doesn’t have a problem showing a bunch of horny women trying to get laid by any and everyone just so they can gossip about it later. If you have an extra hour that you don’t know what to do with on a Sunday night, tune in and see if that’s something you’d feel comfortable watching with your kids. At least rappers just talk about hoes, ABC shows them in all their ho-like glory. But it’s so much harder for you mainstream media bigots to look into the mirror and risk seeing something you don’t like.
And let’s just touch on the topic of hoes real quick. Has anyone ever thought about the hypocrisy in rappers when they’re bragging about getting hoes? Is that really something to brag about? The reason why they’re called hoes is because they are hoes. Anybody can have them. Getting a hoe is like getting a doughnut. If you have the money, you can have one or a dozen. And like a doughnut, there’s no insurance plan. Kripsy Kreme’s not throwing in a treadmill the same way your local hoe doesn’t come with a trial-sized bottle of Valtrex.
Rappers should also brag about how they can go through the drive-thru at McDonald’s and come out with a bag of food. Of course you can. You pay, you get service. That’s how McDonald’s works. That’s how the radio works. And that’s how hoes work.
Come to think of it, Krispy Kreme could at least give you a trial pass to Gold’s.
Rich Boy had the right idea – “A lot of hoes holler at me but I never call.” And why should he? Why should any of us? They’re hoes. They have sex to get ahead in life. They have sex with anyone and everyone to make their lives better. A psychologist could make a million dollars in this business trying to figure out why all these rappers promote meaningless, disease-riddled relationships with the scum of the earth like it’s the cool thing to do. Billy Madison would rather be cool by peeing his pants. And frankly, I would rather be cool like that too. And if the only way you can get girls is by impressing them with your money, connections or jewelry, then you are a loser. There’s really no way around it.
Mike Jones probably doesn’t agree with me.
I never really understood why rappers didn’t talk more about how they could turn out all the good girls, or as they should be called, the “non-hoes.” But then again, that’s like promoting the same shit with a different flavored urinal cake.
What we have to admit is that there is a lot of low-grade, low-brow hip-hop out there. As Brother Ali would probably say, “There’s a lot of individuals out there with no class.” And as the consumer, you have that choice whether you want to support people who view women as third-rate members of a society or support people who make the music that is much more positive. Even if you do support the more misogynistic rappers, you still need to be able to draw the line between what’s real and what’s not. If you listen to Royce da 5’9”’s freestyle over “Feelin’ It,” he talks about all the different hoes he gets but he does it in a way that the seasoned rap listener can tell that he’s only joking. Royce has talked about having a wife, and either she’s cool with his extracurricular activity or he’s just playing around with lines like, “I want to fuck a Pussycat Doll before I retire (‘Hit ‘Em’).” But according to Bill O’Reilly, dude is just being a pervert. But we all know how Billy feels about sexual harassment, right? Besides, he’s too slow to catch any of Royce’s good lines.
And surprisingly, presidential candidate Barack Obama doesn’t like songs like that. He said songs where rappers “degrade their sisters.” What’s next? Are we going to find out that Obama doesn’t like people who sell crack and molest children?
I was hoping Obama would come out to Young Jeezy and R.Kelly’s “Go Getta,” because that is what he’s doing right? Metaphorically at least. Never mind the fact that you have a rapper who likes to go to jail and sell drugs and a singer that would rather prey on young girls to be his future urinal cakes. It’s the message and the meaning of the song, right? I mean, you can apply the theory of trapping all day and playing all night with anything. Anyone can do it. Just replace “trapping” with whatever your job is and replace “playing” with “going home and going to sleep to get ready for the next day.” An example would be: “I crunch numbers all day, porn it up all night/This is the life of a/The life of an/Accountant/Accountant (Yeahhhhhh)!”
But enough about that. On to more important matters, it seems that the vegetable soup Domingo was sipping in Urb Magazine wasn’t actually vegetable soup, or so he claims. He says it was fruit sangria, but the last time I checked, carrots and peas weren’t fruit. Either Domingo’s extremely confused on his food groups or he’s not really trying to give out any of his production secrets. If Domingo really does believe that vegetable soup is fruit sangria, then it’s amazing he got this far, and not just in hip-hop, but in life. This dude probably thinks he’s the King of the South as he’s downing his vegetable soup and bumping the demo tapes from the early days of the St. Lunatics.
I already mentioned Brother Ali, but I have to really give him his due props. Dude’s been off the album scene for a minute, but he came back hard with The Undisputed Truth. And then he gave a great interview about the album. Honestly, if you’ve never heard Brother Ali’s music, you need to check out The Undisputed Truth. That’s an album you can buy and an interview you can read and appreciate it for what it is.
One thing I really like about Brother Ali is that he makes very mature music without telling us that he does. He doesn’t have to tell us a million times that he’s “getting his grown man on.” He just does it. How many times did Jay have to remind us that he was “getting his grown man on” and that all it took for you to get your grown man on was some corny buttonups, or buttondowns, depending on what part of the world you’re from, and some open-toed sandals. Throw in a champagne company with a questionable background, a laptop commercial and a suit with a Yankees hat and you’ve got your grown man on too. You’re mature. Congratulations. Welcome to adulthood.
How many times have you ever seen a father dropping his kid off at school and hearing him proclaim to the secretary, “Did you see that? I just dropped my son off. Yep, all by myself. I’m getting my grown man on today! Maybe later you can come over for some Spaghetti-O’s.”
And that’s not to put Brother Ali against Jay-Z because I’m not here to argue that Brother Ali is a better rapper than Jay-Z. At this point in my life, am I enjoying Brother Ali’s music more than Jay’s? Yes. Does that make him better overall? Not at all. But that’s beside the point. What does matter is that Brother Ali is nice on the mic and he doesn’t feel the need to keep telling us that he is. He quietly does his thing, almost to a fault. So if he’s going to be quiet about it, the least I can do is tell you that if you’ve been having doubts about Brother Ali or about picking up his album, I’m telling you that you should do it.
Another dude I have to give props to is Elite. Talk about having MySpace on lock. First he was one of Diddy’s best friends and then he shared and maybe still is sharing some time on the tandem bike with E.Ness. I don’t know how dude does it, but a lot of people seem to want to be his friend. I don’t know what qualities he has that makes him such a great pal, but I’m going to the drawing board to figure it out. Doing interviews and all that is cool, but I don’t know if it’s as fulfilling as being on other people’s MySpace pages. I mean, what better way to show everyone how popular you are if you’re not on their Top Friends list? I’m about to start cutting deals with fellow MySpacians to get more popular. Whoever said high school had to end?
Obviously everything I’ve written about so far doesn’t really matter that much in the grand scheme of things. Honestly, look at what just happened at Virginia Tech and what’s been going on in Iraq. It’s bigger than hip-hop. But this column is a great distraction for me with all the serious things going on and hopefully it is for you too.
05/13 - 
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