I don’t know if any of you saw the McDonald’s High School All-American game last week, but I have to send a shout out to my Oregonian brother Kevin Love from Lake Oswego High School. I guess it’s not fair to say he’s my boy, even though I did go to the school for one year. I was looking back on some of the people I went to high school with, and it’s actually a pretty dope list.
Salim Stoudamire – University of Arizona, Atlanta Hawks, straight baller
Me – Editor of HipHopGame
Brett Elliot – Set all sorts of records in D3 football and led Linfield to a National Championship, cut by the Chargers last summer
Me – Editor of HipHopGame
Drew Stanton – We were on the same freshman football team. He started, I didn’t, but luckily the first team was so good that all of us second-teamers got to play at least a half every game. An interesting trivia fact ten years from now could be that not only was I second-team tight end, but I was fourth-string QB, which meant that if most of the team got hurt, I would get to play quarterback. Anyway, Drew moved to Michigan and went on to start for Michigan State and is now one of the top QB’s available in the upcoming draft.
Me – Editor of HipHopGame
Kevin Love – Has his own diary in Slam, going to UCLA to play for Ben Howland…not bad.
So there you have it. I guess I could leave out the part about how I hated going there, but whatever. I mean, the Laker football program was also on ESPN this past year. The only thing the other schools I went to in Jersey will make the news for is drugs, sex or drugs and sex.
And if you want proof at what great athletes come out of Oregon, here’s an article for you. If Kari Chisholm says it’s true, then it’s definitely true. And just because he writes for a website apparently based out of Oregon, it does not mean he’s biased - http://www.blueoregon.com/2004/12/brett_elliott_t.html.
I know some of you have been wondering where Pen’s journal is. Apparently since showing his torso on HipHopGame TV he’s felt he’s too big for the journals now. Pen, I know making it on HHG TV is a big deal, but it does not entitle you to a three-week vacation. Your name is Poison Pen, not Poison TV.
It’s good to see Timbaland keeping it fifth grade with his boy Scott Storch, this time calling him a “bitch” during one of his recent shows. Damn. How do you come back from that? There’s ether and then there’s that. Tim is redefining what it means to end someone’s career. First you have you make a video of a guy humping a piano and then you drop a b-bomb. If these dudes really are getting paid what they say they are, shouldn’t they either be spending or investing said money instead of taking it back to the fifth grade. How’s Scott supposed to respond? “I’m rubber, you’re glue…” Let’s just hope he calls Tim a poopbreath and we can all move on.
I’m pretty sure this thing called rap music really is like the film Bamboozled. I recently got JR Get Money’s “Trap All Day” in my inbox and the suit who sent it asked me for feedback. I told him it was one of the wackest songs I had ever heard. I’m not sure if he agreed or disagreed with me, but he told me the song would be getting a lot of run. OJ Simpson also got a lot of run, but it doesn’t mean it’s a good thing.
Anyway, there are so many things wrong with the song. I guess we can start with the name JR Get Money. I remember the days when getting money used to just be a topic of songs…ahh…that was what, two weeks ago? I guess JR Bang Hoes, JR Sell Drugs and JR Destroy Rap were already taken.
It’s a given that most songs being pushed by the machine lack a message to them. You can basically expect that when you turn on pop-rap today (I still can’t figure out what the “this” is that made Mims so hot). Anyway, JR Get Money did his best to avoid the slightest hint of positivity as he tells us he makes money in the trap all day and there’s no other way he’d rather get paid. Maybe he’s right. Maybe investment banking is for pussies. Maybe earning a real paycheck and not having to worry about going to jail really is for losers. Honestly, it’s so much better to make cash off killing your own people in between doing bids in the slammer having to protect your jailhouse wallet.
“They sent me in the cage like a dog/They hate me because I’m a hog.” Do you also pick cranberries down in the bog and drive slow in the morning because of the fog? Unfortunately this song has everything that will make it a hit in today’s market – a stupid hook, super-simple lyrics and a bad beat. The suits said it though, JR Get Money is going to be a star.
One of the creepier songs I’ve heard lately is Teefa’s “Baby Daddy” song, where she calls her baby daddy her brother. Wow. I do know one thing. You should not have “he’s my brother” anywhere in the same vicinity with the line “he’s my lover” no matter how far you fall below the Mason-Dixon Line. Just when you think you’ve seen every type of rapper out, now maybe we’ll see the inbred rapper. Can’t wait for that album – All N Tha Family. Who would you feature on an album like that? Dad/Uncle, Brother/Husband and Mom/Sister.
You knew Game would be back now that Yayo beats up kids. Is his response predictable? Yes. Does it matter? Not really. At this point, anyone can say anything about Yayo and it’s not going to make a difference. The dude puts his hands on kids, and even though he doesn’t do it like Jacko, it doesn’t make it right.
A mom was recently busted for offering up her 7 year-old for sex to an undercover officer. That’s illegal? Since when was pimping your children illegal? What is this world coming to when a mother can’t pimp out her child? Props to the unnamed woman from Taylor, Michigan for being one of the worst people in the world. Taylor, you must be so proud of your own.
Here’s a surprise for you – Disney workers were busted for soliciting sex from children online. Really? I thought grown men were operating those spinning teacups because they were fans of Cinderella. Who would have ever known that the dude walking around in a hot Goofy costume in Orlando, running up on kids and hugging them could have had another motive besides spreading love the Disney way? The only thing surprising about this whole issue is that the Disney workers were actually able to operate a computer.
And what are you going to tell me next? Ice cream men and mall Santa’s are pedophiles? If you’re over the age of 10 and you’re wearing Mickey Mouse ears or Santa beard, something’s seriously wrong with you.
A special “fuck you” goes out this week to Karl Rove, or as he likes to call himself after a few sips of wine, MC Rove. It’s good to see that while troops are dying on a daily basis overseas, he can find time in his busy schedule, as Deputy Chief of Staff, to get up on a stage and rap like it’s a good idea. As long as our fearless leaders have their priorities straight…
And the only thing worse than that is PETA getting mad at Karl…not for being bad at his job or making jokes while the country is falling apart, but instead they’re mad because he said he likes to rip the tops off of animals. Way to pick your fights, PETA. Honestly, what could be worse than going OJ on a few rodents? I think I’d rather have Karl and his cronies ripping the heads off of animals instead of recommending to send more troops overseas.
Hey, PETA, I’m about to go order a few burgers. I don’t know if I’ll eat them or not. I probably won’t, but I have some extra time on my hands while I wait for the squirrels and house cats to get caught in my traps outside. Then I’m going to call up the secretaries of MC Rove and Dick Cheney and ask permission to send them so they can do what they will with them.
As you can see, it’s another busy week in the HHG office.
05/13 - 
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