Props to VH1 for ordering a white rapper show. That's just what we all need
right now. There will probably be a couple white dudes on the show who actually
have skills and knowledge, but you know there's going a few B.Rad's in the group
basically embarrassing themselves trying show their "downness." One
thing that makes no sense is why can't everybody just be themselves? Kid Capri
said it best when he said he can tell who's hip-hop by the way someone dresses.
I highly doubt the Kid Capri was talking about someone having more hip-hop credibility
because their Sean John matches better than someone else's. I've come across
some Birkenstock-wearing dudes who have more hip-hop in their fingernail than
other dudes whose hats match their shoes.
And can everyone
please stop taking pictures talking on a cell phone. Nothing looks worse than
having your picture taken with a celly glued to your ear. Who could you possibly
be talking to? Unless you're Vince Carter or Ben Wallace, you're probably just
checking your voicemail for the tenth time that day or getting rejected by some
website or DJ. How many times have you seen real businessmen posing on their
cell phone? I've seen pictures of businessmen talking on phones, but it's not
an actual pose, which makes it ok. Bill Gates has probably never felt the need
to put a deactivated cell phone to his ear, strike a serious expression like
he's listening to the Dubya on the other line, and then put the picture out
there so everything says, "Wow, he's busy. He must be rich." The game
really is corny right now. I know I've said that before and I know I'll be saying
it again, but there's really no denying it. If you have to take pictures with
the Nokia to prove to people you're making moves, you're not making any. Tell
mom you'll be home for dinner and not to watch any movies in the basement because
you're probably going to be bringing a date, err prostitute, home and you need
an intimate, classy setting for her.
Something that
bothers me more than anything is when people use their age as a means to justify
why they're dope. Being a 19 year-old mixtape DJ means nothing if you're mixes
are shit. I'd much rather cop an 80 year-old's mixtape if he was on point with
the scratching. And yeah, hip-hop is all about the youth, but can everyone stop
saying "it's the kid" and "it's the boy"? Please. When you
turned 18 you stopped being a kid, and it's kind of hard to convince us you're
a boy when you have facial hair and have been dropping shit for the past ten
years. And don't try to convince me that you're just one of those kids in middle
school (every middle school has at least one) who can grow a full beard and
sounds like Darth Vader (and then be bald by high school).
And while we're
speaking of kids, how about Bow Wow telling Nick Cannon he's not a thug? Can
the game get any worse when Bow Wow is criticizing anyone else for not being
thuggish? I don't remember anytime Nick Cannon was really trying to be too hard.
Maybe I missed it, which is possible because I don't try to know what's going
on with Nicholas, but sometimes I can't avoid getting a press release or seeing
a music video. Anyways, Bow Wow has no business calling anyone a "thug."
Did I miss that dark point in Bow Wow's life where he was sticking up convenience
stores for Skittles and snuffing his classmates for pogs?
Apparently the
little brat also criticized Will Smith for being too clean-cut. I guess we didn't
get the press release that when Lil' Bow Wow turned into Bow Wow (kinda like
the whole 2Pac/Makaveli thing, right?), he got a little rough around the edges.
It's pretty ridiculous for someone like Bow Wow, who has tried to take a lot
of the same steps as Will Smith, to criticize him. Say what you want about that
crappy "Switch" song, but Will Smith is a hip-hop legend. Not only
that, he showed you could be a TV star and rapper at the same time and be good
at them both. If it wasn't for the Fresh Prince, cornballs like Bow Wow and
Nick Cannon would have a tougher time ruining hip-hop.
Props to the Heat
for their Game 6 victory. While this win is great for the 305, it's even better
for Mobb Deep. Now the Dallas Mavericks are the choke story of 2006.
Wouldn't you be
kind of pissed if Lupe turned out to be a crappy skateboarder? I know I would
be. Yeah "Kick Push" is a dope song, but wouldn't it just feel a little
off if he could barely stand on the board, especially with all his pictures
of him with skateboards and all that. Maybe footage does exist of him riding
around, but I definitely haven't seen it.
And while "Kick
Push 2" is a dope song, it has to be mad old for the simple fact he's shouting
out DC Shoes. After his Reebok deal, you know he's not supposed to be shouting
out any other brands, so that song has to be mad old. It's going to be very
interesting to see how Lupe does with Food and Liquor. Lupe's gotten a lot of
exposure so far, so it seems as though that album should do very well for him.
If it does do well, I could see Atlantic easing up off the Saigon project more
(if possible) the same way Def Jam's eased up on everyone else since (and pretty
much before) Rick Ross became a household name.
These HipHop SodaShops
sound like an interesting idea, but wouldn't you feel a little queer asking
for the "MC Hammajamma"? Just a little?
Some possible meals
that didn't make the menu:
Snap Rap Soup:
No substance, pretty much just water
New York Tofu: Tastes like whatever sauce you put on it
Busta Burger: It could be good by itself, but it's recommended to have this
with lots of side orders
Ghostface Salad: You only know what a few of the vegetables are in there, but
for some reason it tastes dope
Ron Mexico Fajitas: You might get burned fucking with these
Young Jeezy Unmeltable Ice Cubes: Jeezy already proved he could keep snowmen
icy in the summer, so why not capitalize on it now?
Hot97 Burritos: Might make you feel good until your stomach tells your brain
what you just comsumed
Dirk Nowitzki Chicken Bones: Does this really need an explanation?
A&R Toilet Paper: They don't listen to music, so let's at least use 'em
somewhere
How about some
mixed drinks?
The Maino: It'll
kick your ass just by inhaling it
The JJ Redick: Very fruity
The Industry: Too fruity for chicks
The Snoop: Everyone claims to like it yet they never order it
The Biggie/2Pac: Everyone says it's the best only because they got taken off
the menu
05/13 - 
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