Ya know what time it is....it's 730 ! July 19th 2005
The BET Awards…ahhh…the good ol' BET Awards…was it just me or
did Tom Cruise saying "much love" sound a lil forced? And was it just
me or did his wave to the crowd look more like a Hitler salute? And what the
fuck happened to Lauryn Hill's voice??? Ready or not, she can't sing, she can't
fiiiiiind her voice...it was hilarious to watch everyone clap when Wyclef asked
if they wanted another Fugee album. Hell yeah we do, expecially with the best
part of the Fugees sounding like that chick that everyone had in high school
that was the only one who liked singing so she sang at all the assemblies and
sporting events…I mean judge Simon woulda killed her on American Idol.
That Fugee performance was not hot. It actually scared me to think how a Fugee
album would sound nowadays…and to everyone wanting another album, just
chill the fuck out. The days of "Ready or Not" and Lauryn Hill sounding
dope are gone so just get over it…go buy a fucking John Legend album and
put it on your iPod or something. You gotta love all these stupid motherfuckers
with mp3 players now…walking around staring at their little toy they got
no idea how to operate walking into everyone…
You know what's sad…it's already July and there is no summer banger from
anyone. The closest thing to a summer banger is Jay-Z's "Dear Summer,"
and he's actually saying how he can't have summer anymore. That's fucking pathetic.
These fucking rappers need to be ashamed of themselves. That song being the
hottest summer song is like a dude with gonorrhea and crabs fucking more than
you. If a dude with full-blown syphilis was still pulling girls, and you weren't,
how the fuck would you feel? Hopefully you'd feel more pathetic than the Michael
Jackson jury, but that's a whole nother story. But shit, you'd think someone
woulda had something. Freeway and Joe Budden took their shot at owning the summer
with those Scott Storch beats, but that didn't work out. Shouldn't Joe Budden
be a little worried now…no word on his album and "Gangsta Party"
doesn't seem to be killing the radio like it should be…I'm getting tired
of his club songs right now too…maybe it's time Just Blaze and him get
back together for a banger…if Just Blaze can make Fabolous sound hard he
can make anyone sound hard.
And speaking of Fabolous, or Fabeu as they call him in France, isn't it funny
how Mase came back rhyming over the "Whisper" beat. How fucking corny
is that. Way to live up to your "Murder Mase" name. That shit is fucking
hard. Mase is back oh shit. Run for the hills! The preacher has traded in his
Bible for curse words!!! A lot of MC's are about to go hungry now that Mason
Betha is rhyming. And if he pulls Puffy for a remix, shit, the game is over.
Bill Cosby's got nine different girls testifying against him in the sexual harassment
shit. Damn Bill! Looks like homie's been pourin the wrong pudding in the wrong
places…no word yet on how the Huxtables have taken this news…of course
Theo was let down, as he always considered his father to be a very upstanding,
honorable pudding-pusher. Clair may be looking for a divorce. And didn't you
always think it'd be Bob Sagat or Andrew Dice Clay getting sexual harrasement
charges? Uncle Joey was always a little creepy too…You know Chris Rock
is safe because 99% of girls could probably kick his ass…but if Chris Rock
ever ran for president he'd definitely get my vote, that man is a fucking genius.
Saigon reminded me about the old comedy tape Chris Rock did where he was saying
that the next big rap song would be "slap 'em with your dick, slap 'em
with your dick." And now look, it's the fucking "Whisper" song.
Props to Chris Rock and Saigon.
And the Source gave the Ying Yang Twins FOUR MICS for their album!!! That's
worse than the time they said Eminem was the devil…way to just prove to
the world that all these mags care about is getting paid…granted, there
were some decent songs on that album, but c'mon, even for a Southern album that's
not four mics…whatever happened to reviewers listening to lyrics? I mean
yeah, rap is growing more retarded by the day, but I never thought I'd see the
day when a Ying Yang Twins album is considered better than a Sean Price album
by a fucking trash mag based out of New York City!!! And the Mike Jones album
got three mics…how is that a whole mic less than Ying Yang Twins? Hmmm…last
time I checked neither one of them could really spit…the shit that really
bothers me though is that one more mic for the Ying Yang Twins puts them up
there with the "Reasonable Doubts" and classics like that.
And speaking of that crappy "Whisper" song, why is Missy not whispering
on the remix? Is she too good to whisper? Why is Busta and all them whispering,
and then here comes Missy with her loud-ass voice talking that same bullshit.
Shit the least she coulda done was lowered her voice a few decibals…it
didn't have to be a full-blown whisper but damn…it's not the "loud
screaming song" now is it?
So Big Tigger is saying he's not gay. And don't we all believe him? Why, a name
like "Big Tigger" just screams heterosexual. C'mon man, if you name
yourself after a Winnie the Pooh character, you're gonna get a few gay accusations
here and there. Why not call yourself Eyore, or Rabbit, or fucking Piglet? But
think about it, how do you introduce yourself to people? "Hi, I'm Big Tigger,
I keep it bouncing!"
Word is Eminem is retiring from the mic after the Anger Management Tour. Sure
Em, you're just going to focus on producing like Jay was supposed to focus on
Beyonce…Em, your beats are nothing to quit your day-job for. People are
taking the beats for the name recognition more than anything. It's the same
reason people would rather rhyme over a crappy Neptunes beat than a dope beat
from some unknown producer. That's why 50 Cent and Ghostface get props for finding
new producers and keeping their ears open instead of going to well-known producers
and relying on their name to sell an album. I always love how certain MC's in
interviews are like "I got a beat from Dre, Just Blaze, Pharrell, Cool
and Dre…" Ok, now how does that shit make a good album? 12 radio singles
does not make an album homie. And as for Eminem, I think he's pretty much said
and done everything he could do on the mic…
I gotta admit, when I saw DJ's playing "Come Again" from Saigon, I
was mad disappointed. I'm thinking, this dude has every producer wanting to
work with him, AND Just Blaze, and there's a song out there that's three years
old. I mean, the song is still hot today, but still, it's old. So I went straight
to the source and asked S to the A what was up with that, and he said that not
enough people have heard that and to a lot of people, it's new. So I guess if
you're one of those people that it's new to, you've been sleeping way too long.
But Saigon said he's got some mixtapes coming up and a lot of new material about
to drop, and you know he's gonna give it to us first so it'll be all good…
Props to Lil' Kim for that "Shut Up" song…her nose may not be
what it was but that song took some guts to do.
Raekwon and Ill Bill are doing a mixtape together…that shit is dope. So
far, shit is sounding good on that too…it's dope that Rae reached out to
Bill on that too, because he coulda done a mixtape with anyone. And you know
Ill Bill is gonna come correct on this shit too…a lot of these new MC's
wouldn't appreciate this look the way someone like an Ill Bill who's been around
and knows what real music would.
Yo Timbaland went from being a fat producer to being a producer that could rip
your head off if you try to steal his beats. Word on the street…errr gym,
is that the wicky-wicky producer went from 330 pounds to 200. Either he dropped
a major shit before weighing himself or he's been hitting the weights hard.
Word is he's entering body-building competitions now too. "You gotta get,
that, fat of your belly." I hope Missy follows suit. Doesn't she kinda
look like an alien in "Lose Control?"
Props to 50 Cent for giving C-average students scholarships. 50 gave 10 kids
with a C-average a full ride to college. That's dope, because I remember when
I was in high school, it was always the rich kids with straight A's that got
all those little awards, and everyone else was left in the cold…and the
thing is those C-average students will appreciate that opportunity a lot more
than those spoiled brats who go to college on their parent's dime and end up
flunking out after a year.
Mariah's sister just got arrested for prostitution…that fucking sucks.
Mariah should have been arrested for selling herself too after recording with
Jermaine Dupri. Mama Carey must not be too happy right now.
Did anyone see the Eve sex-tape. It looks like the holla-back girl has hired
a private investigator to find out who leaked the tape. Hmmm…I'm not a
genius but I'm guessing Stevie J is the one that leaked it. He probably showed
it to his boys, showing how he has a "ryder," literally. Then they
probably waited til he went in the bathroom and dubbed it, and leaked it…oh
wait that wouldn't work because what man would show another man his sex tape?
Maybe someone broke into Stevie J's house and stole it…only way that could
have happened is if he had labeled it "MY SEX TAPE WITH EVE!!! :"
I'm sure he labeled it something like "Home Alone 2" or "Full
House Season 5." And who would have stolen that??? My guess is that he
leaked it after something went wrong…besides, that's the most people have
talked about Eve since those old stripper pictures went up of her. Relax Eve,
any promotion is good promotion, even if people are talking about you getting
fucked with a dildo. Oh yeah, and Stevie J has denied leaking it. Of course
he would. Who would say "yeah I uploaded the video to multiple file-sharing
programs in hopes of proving that Eve is actually a holla-back girl."
Speaking of chicks, Trina is starting up a modeling agency. The agency was designed
to give girls "self-esteem." Actually, I think modeling may be the
wrong field to teach girl's self-esteem. How is that even possible? Is Trina
gonna hire a bunch of ugly girls and tell them they're beautiful? How is a modeling
agency gonna build up self-esteem? If you want self-esteem, go watch Dr. Phil...besides
look at the pictures Trina takes and listen to her music, does it look or sound
like she has high self-esteem?
Word is Queen Latifah's not paying her bills…I'm guessing her blockbuster
film "Taxi's" not exactly paying the bills…
You gotta love Kanye. First the "Diamonds" video, and now "Gold-Digger."
I guess there's no stopping Kanye now…there's enough yes-men in his corner
telling him he's dope and enough clueless people at labels to actually push
him so it looks like we're gonna be stuck with the wanna-be astronomer for awhile.
Another thing that needs to be spoken on…Kanye, Common, and John Legend
are doing a tour called "G.O.O.D Music." Kanye's saying he's trying
to start a movement like Marvin Gaye did for the past generation. C'mon man,
that's not cool. Marvin is a legend…you can't be throwing his name around
like that…what those backpackers are doing is not try to have a revolution,
but try to convince everyone that they're the "real ones." The sad
thing is, people are buying it…just because you're a hippie and wear pink
polo's DOES NOT MEAN YOU MAKE GOOD MUSIC!!!
05/13 - 
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