Rick Ross has finally copped to his past and admitted that he was a C.O. Only one problem now – too little, too late. If Ross had come out in the beginning and said, “Yeah, that’s me, I did it” there would have been no problems. Well, at least no lingering ones. Sure, Rick would have taken some abuse for what he did but fans would have quickly forgotten about it and moved on. We’ve all had bad jobs and some of us still do but you have to do what you can to get by and if you can look at yourself in the morning, then it shouldn’t matter what anyone else thinks (I still have my Domino’s hat from my days of delivering pizzas that stayed at a consistent 1000 degrees in that hot box thing no matter how lost I got).
Unfortunately Ricky didn’t take that defense. He took the Roger Clemens/Barry Bonds defense and vehemently denied ever slamming steel doors shut and skimming inmates’ commissaries. Ross would have to think all rap fans were morons to a) come up with his story about how many drugs he’s sold, b) to do that after being a C.O. and c) using the “It was Photoshopped” defense when the truth came to light. Unfortunately rap fans are not as dumb as Rick Ross or as dumb as Rick Ross would like them to be. Sure, most fans don’t care and like Cormega said over the summer, he’d known about that story for years. But for the few fans who still care, Ross messed up with his lies and bullshit because he is one of the few Miami rappers that actually gets some respect for his music and has fans willing to defend him and he should have been grateful for that because now no one should be able to take him seriously.
And this also explains why he’s been releasing so many freestyles lately. If someone who’s already sold all of those albums is dropping a verse to every single song that comes out, he’s obviously trying to win “the streets” back but it’s kind of hard to do that once you thought you could fool them, treated them like R. Kelly treats children and then tried to cop to the truth once you saw nothing else was going to work for you. Can’t wait for that next album.
At least now we know why dude’s beard is hairier than Rosie’s and his sunglasses are thicker than his logic.
What I love is how he still claims he’s rich off of cocaine. That’s a moot point today. Who cares? You’ve got caught lying once, who knows what else is a lie. There’s a saying that goes “If you always tell the truth you never have to remember what you said.” Rappers, as well as anyone really, should take heed to that.
Remember how Young Jeezy was all about getting people to register to vote when his album was coming out? Where is he now? And why isn’t Nas making as big of a deal about this as he did about O’Reilly the week his album was coming out? If you’re going to take up for a cause, see it through all the way because the next time you try to tag your name to a cause it’s not going to work because, as Rick Ross is finding out, a lot of fans are actually smart and they can actually see through the smoke and mirrors.
The other day I got Freeway’s “Baby Back” mp3 in the inbox and I was pumped. Finally a rapper made a song dedicated to ribs and how great they are. Unfortunately it wasn’t about ribs, but this is!
Why aren’t there great commercials like that anymore? The only commercial that sticks in my head is the cell phone commercial where four guys who resemble future A&Rs chase after some dude with frosted tips arguing about who’s got the cheapest cell phone plan. Honestly watching those five losers has me wishing I never had a cell phone to begin with.
Here’s a trend that’s gotta stop – responding to mass emails by hitting “reply all.” Anyone who has ever had an email address has had this problem happen. You got someone who has good intentions and the mass email a song, family picture, workout routine, et cetera and someone on that list sees something wrong in the email, whether it’s a small typo or the wrong song was attached in the email. Instead of hitting “reply” and alerting the sender of his error, this person hits “reply all” and lets the whole list know how stupid the sender is. This usually prompts Email Gangster #2 to jump on the bandwagon with a similar reply that never would have seen the light of day had Reply All Dude not gotten the ball rolling. See, #2 didn’t have the courage to spearhead the mass criticism but he’s sure got the Mini-Me testicles to send out a mass response typically along the lines of “Yeah, seriously dude, you suck.”
The worst part of all is that “reply all” dude thinks he’s slick. Unfortunately for him, what everyone else knows is that it’s the biggest coward who hits “reply all” because they don’t have the guts to go one-on-one with the sender or just hit the delete button and let the whole thing go. Reply All Dude sees Mass Emailer in the hallway and says nothing but then at 10:30 at night after a few Smirnoff’s he’s amassed the courage to point out his errors to everyone. Reply All Dude, go away.
After checking 50’s “Get Up”, I realized a formula that should work for any 50 Cent single.
Talk about how much money you have
Talk about how others don’t have as much money as you
Talk about how you want to get with some girl
Talk about the game you would spit to said girl
Come with a simple hook that can be memorized after the first listen
The craziest part about Formula 50? It works great. “Get Up” is not 50’s best single but it’s a pretty solid leadoff for Before I Self Destruct. And before some of you jump on me for not tearing the whole song apart, remember, it could have been A LOT worse.
I haven’t listened to the whole Oracle Part 2 mixtape that Grafh dropped but from what I’ve heard so far, it sounds like he’s getting back into spitting darts again. For awhile he was sounding mighty uninspired and while I can’t blame him, I would have rather not heard some of his previous freestyles. I still think he’s got a questionable beat selection but we’ve had that conversation plenty of times in the past.
Artists, please, do not release any more “Swagger Like Us” freestyles. Swagger is something that a) every artist thinks they have b) most artists think they can have swagger by wearing their pants at their knees, their t-shirt at their bellybutton and glasses that have a thickness that would make Stevie jealous. Sports analysts talk about teams like the ‘Canes as having “swagger” because they get a little extra with it during warm-ups and if provoked may swing their helmet at you. It doesn’t matter what the scoreboard usually says at the end of the day, if you can make do a lot of funny dances during introductions and wear an all-black facemask or black socks, you got swagger, according to old announcers who ask their sheltered kids for slang words to mix into their telecasts. I digress.
Swagger is none of the above. Swagger should really be about having the confidence to do what you want, when you want no matter what any fan or manager says. If you think you should make a song about Tubgirl and everyone around you says you shouldn’t but you still do, that’s swagger because you’re doing what you believe in. Now if you shoot a video for that song you’re a sick fuck. Anyway, it doesn’t matter where you wear your pants, how many fancy, shiny pieces of jewelry you wear and how many girls you claim to have tricked into your bed, if you’re just doing it because you think that’s what you should do you don’t have any swagger. You’re a bitch. If you talk about selling drugs and how rich you are and how many cars you drive and that’s not you, you have no swagger. Now if you’ve sold enough drugs to buy yourself a mansion, that means you’re enjoying tearing apart your own community and swagger should be the least of your concerns.
And now Jim Jones says T.I. doesn’t have enough “swag.” What, did he refuse to do a song with you? What are you going to do, measure his “swag”? “My pants hang lower and are tighter than yours. Plus you can see my nipples through my children’s small t-shirt. Therefore, I am cooler.” Isn’t it fun to be cool?
Anyway, rappers, enjoy all that “swagger” you’ve accumulated lying to people who consider themselves fans of your half-hearted music as you prepare your next release that will most likely collect dust, which you will surely blame on your label, publicist, manager, fans, the economy, George Bush, computers and anything else you can think of so long as you don’t have to accept one iota responsibility of your album failing because you lack the prerequisite lyrics, beat selection, charisma and anything else that might help you sell a few soon-to-be obsolete coasters you call “a movie.” Hey, you may not have truth on your side but at the end of the day, what’s a few white lies about a few white lines?
05/13 - 
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