Having been laid up all weekend recovering from surgery, I was able to catch up on a few things and finally had an excuse to do nothing but watch TV all weekend.
A lot of things can happen when you’re confined to the Wal-Mart futon. I think Poison Pen was also a little bored, as his away message read, “Cable’s out, entertain me.” Seeing that as a challenge, I told the Bed Stuy Best Buy that I had pooped and showered that day (which is normally impressive on a regular day, but given my current condition, I saw this to be very impressive). Pen was also apparently impressed, as he said he had never done both in the same day. To be a rapper…
The wrestling fanatic known as Pen then proceeded to call football gay, to which I responded with a Reno 911 crack. Somehow the conversation ended with Pen and I deciding to do the next Hip-Hop Disciples together. I guess the painkillers were stronger than I thought…
Later on I get a message from Diabolic. “I just did my daily cigarette smoker cough session only today I coughed so hard I almost shit my pants you think the HHG readers would like to know shit like this???” To which I responded, “who wouldn’t”?
I also started watching Showtime’s Weeds on DVD. It takes a couple episodes to get into, but the blend of dark humor mixed with idiocy is genius. Weeds gets my recommendation. Word to Kevin Nealon.
And Big Lou, thanks for the well wishes on Hot 97. Everybody close to me always thought the first time somebody said my name on Hot 97 it was going to be for having sex with farm animals while blasting “Party Like A Rockstar.” If that’s not beating the odds, I don’t know what is.
7-11’s across the nation breathed a collective sigh of relief last week when Infamous Mobb decided to break up. Why they would break up two weeks before their third album was set to drop is beyond me and probably anybody that knows a thing or two about marketing. Breaking up two weeks before your album drops is like asking for a room change during finals week of your spring semester…if you’ve gotten that far with someone you don’t really like, you can stick it out for another week or two. Not only is their publicist not setting up any interviews, but any interviews IM3 does now is going to focus on the group splitting up and whatever solo projects they feel the need to force on us. I love IM3 just as much as the next fan, and if a hobby of mine was knocking over convenience stores, IM3 would, without a doubt, be my soundtrack. With Prodigy going to jail for a couple years, Infamous Mobb breaking up and Nas talking more about his album title than songs, it’s a sad day in QB right now.
Brace yourselves for December 4, because what you’ve been waiting for is finally coming. No, not Saigon or Styles P…but 2Pac. Yes, somehow, some way, his mom and her business partners are selling us the same material in a slightly altered way…You may not like the idea of another 2Pac album coming out, albeit a “Best Of” that is essentially his “Greatest Hits” with different sequencing, but you have to give it to his mom. No one can say she’s not trying. Back in the day she probably found five different ways to sell the same chocolate chip cookie at the bake sale. At this point I’m more interested to see just how many different ways the same 2Pac songs can be remixed and repackaged. And I love ‘Pac’s music. Get it? ‘Pac’s music. Not some watered-down, remix collection someone else threw together to “keep his name alive.” If they really wanted to keep his name alive, they would let him rest in peace.
No one was happier to see BC go down Saturday night than me. If they showed one more clip of fruitcake “Matty Ice” playing guitar instead of tossing interceptions, I might have thrown up on the Wal-Mart futon. The dude plays like crap for three and a half quarters against a very average Virginia Tech team, gets a few breaks down the stretch and all of a sudden he’s everyone’s favorite Heisman candidate and Brett Favre’s BFF. Maybe next time, BC.
So Royce and Mistah F.A.B. went from a battle during Allhiphop Week to a couple of bars on a freestyle record to all-out diss records. I didn’t think it was that big of a deal at first, but after F.A.B. threw Proof’s name around, I don’t think Royce is going to be backing down anytime soon, and he proved that with “Who Got Bodied?”, a 7+ minute diss track responding to and refuting F.A.B.’s claims from his response to Royce’s “Blue Magic.”
The big question for Royce is why didn’t he sound as inspired at the battle as he sounded over “Who Got Bodied?” Royce was vicious on there, but if he could have had half that energy at the battle this whole situation wouldn’t even be happening.
And what’s kind of funny about Mistah F.A.B. is that I’ve interviewed him on three separate occasions, once when he was very unknown, and dude still has no idea who I am. I’m perfectly cool with that. When F.A.B. asked me when the last time I had checked for Royce was in the interview, I knew exactly where he was going but I honestly couldn’t let him take us there. I could say I never listen to Royce’s albums, but that Play Count and Last Played feature, which has to be some sort of GPS-type spyware that is read by douchebags at all major labels, would not back me up there. The truth is, I listened to The Bar Exam countless times when it came out and even bumped Death Is Certain during a workout. Asking me about checking for Royce is not a great idea. Honestly it’s a good thing he didn’t ask me about Da Baydestrian, because I gave that a chance but really couldn’t get into it.
Notable references in Fat Joe’s “Crack House”, which hopefully doesn’t end up being his single:
“Can’t Tell Me Nothin’” and “Rockwilder” – References like this should be saved for freestyles, but “Crack House” plays more like a freestyle than a song, so I guess it flies.
2.8 million ringtones – Congrats, I guess
Rihanna’s “Umbrella” – Always good to reference one of the gayest songs to come out in ‘07
“Conflicts in my chain from Angola” – It’s actually a bad thing to rock conflict diamonds…If you’re going to brag about conflict diamonds, why stop there? Why not talk about exposing yourself in front of elementary schools and sticking razors in Halloween candy?
”Convicts in my plane when we roll up, and they hustle yay, not Vitamin Wota” – You can diss 50 all you want for pimping Vitamin Water to the fullest, but not only is Vitamin Water, excuse me, Vitamin Wota, good, but it’s also healthy and, more importantly, it’s legal. When 50 gets the check from Coca Cola, he said, “What the fuck?”, went straight to the bank and didn’t have to look over his back. 50 may not get a ton of props from fans for Curtis, but to not give him props for Vitamin Water is straight up ridiculous.
I guess it’s a requirement for every Fat Joe single to have Lil’ Wayne on it. And as long as Wayne is talking about the crack house having more parties than a frat house, how did that little college experiment with Wayne turn out?
And why is a crack house having parties? Are the people making the crack partying or are the crackheads coming over to party? Do they even have the energy to party? The majority of crackheads look like Joe Torre after the third inning – one Steven Seagal scene away from crashing.
I know a lot of fans were forced to take the side of Joe Budden or Ransom last week, but really, if you took a side, please realize that you don’t have to. Unless either one of them is paying your light bill, then you can remain neutral and listen to the two of them, which is I chose to do, because neither one is keeping my lights on.
Ransom’s Ransom Note had a lot of bright spots to it and he is very dope as an MC, but too many sub-par features watered down this mixtape. Songs like “The Beginning,” “Killer’s Theme” and the “Can’t Tell Me Nothin’ Freestyle” make this mixtape great. Songs like “Do You Like It,” which features Nicky Minaj claiming to “get more head than wigs,” bog the mixtape down. It’s commendable that Ransom wants to put Handla and Tay Rock on, but now’s not the time for that. Ran’s got to really establish himself and a verse on a formulaic Fab album and week of trading disses with Joe Budden is not going to do that. Ran’s got to get his track record up and make quality records on his own, because he shines on his solo records. Ransom still needs to do a few more solo projects before he can worry about putting his boys on, because trying to do that now is not going to help him get to where he’s trying to get.