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12/2/2009     We did an interview a few years ago but not much of your music has been released since then. Where have you been?  I’ve been trying to rebuild my foundation, man. I had to reconnect with the love for the game again, man. One of the last times that people heard from me was when I broke off from the Terror Squad and things weren’t going all that great and by that time I done lost my love for the game and I was ready to quit. When I bounced it was pretty much similar to how Batman returns or when you disappear for five years and come back and do your thing. I had to reconnect with my foundation and find myself again and kind of reconnect with the love for the game again and it’s been a process. Throughout it all I’ve learned a lot, I’ve grown a lot and pretty much, you’ll hear it in the music. That’s why the album is called The Journal, because it’s pretty much an audio journal of my life and what I’ve been through since the last Terror Squad release to now.  Does this album have a lot of venting?  Nah, not at all. It’s definitely not an angry album, man. It has a little bit of everything. I think I get more in-depth and personal with shit. You’re still going to get the Armageddon, the crazy and wild lyricist shit. I got a song called “Rap Therapy” where I’m talking about hip-hop and how that’s my therapy and when I make a song, it’s pretty much my therapy. I’ll write a song about what I might be going through and play the song back and in the process of listening and writing the song, I learn a lot about myself. I go more in depth and I got the basic pass away type of songs. There’s no angry stuff. I got one joint “Self Destruction” and that captures how I was feeling when things weren’t going all that great. That’s about me when I was drinking and smoking and self destructing and getting in fights. I pretty much touched everything I’ve been through since my departure.  For fans who may not know what happened with you and Terror Squad, can you briefly touch on that?   It was something that developed over time. It wasn’t like one big thing happened and I had to boogie. All the time I felt like it was time for me to branch out and spread my wings. It’s like being in a bad relationship with an abusive fucking mate or something. You know the relationship ain’t no good for you but you stay with it because it’s comfortable and it’s familiar to you to some extent. That’s where the relationship was at. I felt like I wasn’t going nowhere. I was stuck and I was stuck in a box and I wasn’t allowed to breathe and learn so I felt like it was time for me to break loose. You would think that one situation pushed me over the top but it wasn’t. it was a situation that built up over time and it was one last occurrence that made me say “Fuck this shit, I’m out.” For awhile we didn’t talk but I’m over that shit. I take responsibility for the shit that I might have done and I’m over it so we’re good. We’re good money. I still talk to Joe here and there. I still talk to Prospect. I’m just doing my own thing.  It sounds like there will never be a reunion though, right?  I wanna say no, there’s no chance, but you never fucking know, B. You never know. But at this point, where I’m at right now and where everybody’s at right now, I don’t see that happening because some cats I just don’t rock with and some cats just don’t have the integrity that I would feel comfortable dealing with. They shit on you one day and then they got love for you the next day and then they shit on you again. I can’t play those games and I can’t see that happening. I got people telling me that such and such needs my help and I should do something but I’ve been there and done that. I don’t go backwards and I’m not joining the washed up rapper plan where everybody goes and gets together and goes after the big fish. I’m not with all that. I’m doing my own thing. As of now I don’t see that happening.  And making diss songs, that’s not my style. I don’t see that going anywhere. I don’t see that being productive. People tell me to diss something but they don’t know my story and they don’t know my position and at the end of the day, it’s not that serious where I have to go at the nigga. If a certain artist has a certain problem, a lot of other things need to be in place for a diss to be successful. If you’re a little fish trying to get at the big fish and the big fish isn’t on his way out and you don’t have a plan, it’s not going to work. I don’t respect it and I don’t think that’s the way to get on. If you challenge him and you think that you deserve what somebody else has, go out and earn it yourself. Show me that you’re talented and you got the skills and you can make albums and you can do the same things the big fish can do. Don’t go after the big fish and make it think you can pop ‘cause it ain’t gonna make you hot. It ain’t gonna do shit for you. If anything it’s going to make niggas not want to fuck with you because you’re coming in the game on some negative shit. It’s easy to do that. It’s easy to do that. I want to pop on my own merits. I’m not trying to make a song to get at somebody and hope that it gets me attention. Fuck outta here. That’s not my shit.  It sounds like you’re taking a mature perspective over the old Terror Squad situation.  There’s no need to. I don’t regret nothing that went down in the past. It was all a learning experience. If it wasn’t for that, nobody would know who the fuck I am. If it wasn’t for that no one would know who I was. At the end of the day he puts you in a situation and it’s up to you to take it and run with it and if you don’t grab it by the reins and do what you do, then you can’t blame him for it. I’m not saying he’s the best person in the world. I’m just saying at the end of the day, when are you going to stop blaming yourself and take responsibility for your actions? I ain’t gonna point the finger and say the reason I ain’t pop is because of him. People know me because of him and I’m going to keep on doing my thing. I ain’t mad at him but we ain’t the best of friends. I just know not to do business with him. I’m good, man.  How’s Prospect been?  Prospect’s chilling, man. He’s got a house out in Beantown. He’s cool. He’s working on an album and he got me in my situation. The people that he’s working with got me my distribution deal. He’s good. He’s trying to finish the single so they can start promoting the single. The album is done and he’s dying to get it out. He’s good money.  Have you spoken to Remy at all?  Nah, I haven’t spoken to Remy. Time flies and you get caught up in everyday life and not that you forget about people but you get caught up in life. Every once in awhile I think I need to holla at Remy and then I get lost in the grind and hustle. But one of these days I’m going to have to do what I do and holla at her. But I haven’t talked to her.  Your new single is “It’s Over.” Are you happy with how that’s been doing?  You know something? Yes. I mean, I already knew that being it was an underground hip-hp joint that it wasn’t going to be received as “this is that shit” because they want some commercial shit. The people who want what I did loved it but it’s not 5:00 rush hour music. That’s not what I was trying to do with it so good looking out and fuck you very much. That’s what I was trying to do with it. This shit is for the underground heads and the people who supported my shit since day one. This is to reconnect with them and it’s been getting love wherever it’s posted. If I get 20 responses to it, there will only be two haters. People will say it’s dope and they always wondered what happened to me. We got some adds on college radio and mixshow radio and all that. It’s going to take awhile to build that buzz up but I think it’s doing what it needs to do. It’s serving its purpose right now. it’s not a breakout song that’s going to make me hot like Lil’ Wayne or something. It was something to reconnect with the fans and to let them know that it’s real and I’m definitely coming.  Don’t get me twisted. I got other songs, but that’s not what I wanted to come out the gate with. I wanted to reconnect with my fanbase and reconnect with the hip-hop heads and I get the same response from everybody, that it’s a breath of fresh air and that’s a dope feeling to me.  How far along are you with The Journal?  I got a few more songs. I wasn’t happy with just having 12 songs so I got four more songs that I want to add to it and I’m in the process of getting the beats and writing to them. The rest of the month will be mixing. It’s pretty much done besides the other songs. It’s pretty much done. We got a video. I’m getting the rough draft and rough cut tonight. We shot a video and it’s pretty official. We’re booking shows. Again, it’s a work in progress. I gotta turn the album in by December so by mid December, everything should be done and mixed and mastered and good to go. I figured I would throw this out because it’s The Journal Volume One and then I’ll release this and any other joints that I feel because I stay making brand new songs so any new songs I make I’ll put it on Volume Two. I’ll just keep pumping them out and maybe do four a year.  How do you think fans see you today?  It’s hard to pick one way. People are going to believe what they want to believe and perception is reality. I could tell them how I want them to see me but they’re going to see me a certain way and I have to run with that because that’s how the people see me. We’ll see. The only reason I say that I’m formerly of Terror Squad so that the people who know I was with them know that I’m doing my own thing. That’s obviously going to be a part of my story but there is a large group of people who don’t know me from that group and will look at me as a new artist. I don’t mind being looked at either way. Whatever gets the job done and whatever helps me be received in the most positive way.  What do you need to do to get your buzz up today?  Basically just keep pumping out content, man. Keep pumping out music and make myself visible. I’ve been like Batman in his cave and shit. I gotta make myself visible and pop up all over the place. I was talking to Buckwild and we were talking about how I had to get back out there and how you can be isolated for too long. I gotta start doing joints with artists again and grinding all over again. Again, it’s reconnecting with some of the artists that I’ve done shit with in the past and reconnecting with new artists and just keep dropping music. I just gotta build my buzz up all the time and after the street record and after the album of course I’ll go with the more commercialized songs so I can get radio spins and go from there, but it’s a process, man.  And I’m looking forward to doing this. I’m psyched. There’s nothing like doing it yourself. It’s one thing when it’s given to you and the opportunity is in your face but yo feel like you didn’t really work hard for it. It’s another thing when you work your ass off for it and you fall back in love with the grind of wanting to achieve something and actually achieve it. It’s two different things, man, and that’s where I’m at now. Even if it doesn’t pop where I expect it, this time around my mindframe is just different and the way I receive people is just different and I’m enjoying the ride as opposed to before when it was just like I wrote it and I was trying to enjoy the end of the ride. I was trying to enjoy the pot at the end of the rainbow and it wasn’t being fulfilled. Now I’m actually enjoying the journey itself. Yeah, man. I’m psyched

By Brian Kayser

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