Downwards

[`rino]

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I think I'm happy, relying my existence on this powdered substance
Reviewing and reciting my deeper concious and how it's loveless
A flowered roughness explains my life just like a cowards toughness
My prowess covered and locked away in surrounding cupboards
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Reaching the stars, ignoring the blatant process of oblivious reality
I realise that one day I will have to face the viciousness of gravity
This is my life, the highs and lows and how it's riddled with insanity
And what's the worst of all is that I'm being belittled by my anarchy
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I'm sitting on a canopy understanding the detrimental issues around me
It's hard to turn back when the head of gentle miss-use has found me
Pupils dialated lookin' like the red of lentals, fixed views on ground trees
My life's an outline, my death is stencils which prove my boundarys
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I'm so high I can feel my head lighten and see the moon smile at me
Guitar riffs from patchwork cows playing ambient tunes while I sleep
I start to sweat laying by a fire feeling the cold fumes rile with heat
I'm clucking for a fix while I sit, stare at some dude hide all my feed
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::: EDIT UPDATE 13/03/2007 :::

This is a second piece, I am adding to it.. Lemme know what ya think! Constructive crit muchly appreciated!

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There's this horrible taste in my mouth that's left over from last night
I walked into the light and met this girl, so I showed her my past life
Hand in hand we strolled... I looked over my shoulder and passed sights
With THE MOST beautiful addiction ever... I'll hold it with hard prys
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Yeah, I know this is hard life, but I continue to swallow down deeply
My mind can't find the stability it's like the hollow grounds meet me
Elevates me to a faker state'a mind & makes me follow round these trees
I feel as if my life is over, moreso than Emo kids.. The sorrow found me, B
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My darling bud forever incased in this purple haze flavoured blunt wrap
I want diarrhea to come back & save me, but I'll always savour one lax
Distant fiddlers, fiddlin' away.. Yet they'll always play the one track
Like they have written feelings too, but they'll erase it and come back
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Indigestion from this little cherry flavoured pill popped, my mind blows
I'm a buzzed out mess unable of self control and I just watch the time go
Remember my teacher telling me drugs ruin lifes and try to stop 'cos I know
She was always dead right.. I start feelin' heat on the top of my dome
With the surprise of sunlight I gasp and wipe the snot from my nose
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[Edge]

that shit is crazy vocab was nice and the flow was off the meter
i mean u used some nice words that fit perfect they werent 2 complex werent 2 basic
i like ur concept talking through the mouth of an attic
sickest shit i read yet from u.
keep it up

[Profane]

maaan! thats whats good i felt almost every line, you killed it on the real

noone should be doubtin you right now haha

[`rino]

Thanks for the feed, geezers. Much appreciated!

[sickvick87]

Good shit Pen, flow was on point, Vocab was crazy, gave the verse better details and illistration, keep at it fam....

[`rino]

Thanks for the feedback, vick! Mucho appreciated!

[Renasanz]

thanks for the feed on my stuff so i decided i need to start reading up on my fellow writters. shits nice man complex but not over the top good word play and flow and ya i was relating a lot till i got the the cows in the pasture part but its all good. anyways good rythem with it all. you made something very poetic stay strong through out...props

[`rino]

^ S'all about the drug addictions man, tripping out, seeing extraordinary things, hence the cows playin' guitars, shrooms do shit like that! Thanks for the feedback, bruv.

[IN@_SENSE]

Good shit here... came correct in every aspect.

Definitely feelin' the depth of the piece.

Solid 10/10

[Grove~Ryda]

Goddamn Pen, good drop! Each line wz a metaphor. My fav..

Guitar riffs from patchwork cows playing ambient tunes while I sleep

I b on dat lucid astral tip too haha

[`rino]

Respect on the feed, fellas.

[fat_scott]

tight floem. i call that a floem. a flow poem. that was the no-look over the shoulder bank shot with the foul. style with points.

[Inept]

^^ lol are you serious


floem bwahaha thats so stupid no offense famm but damn


anyway shit isnt poem the lyrics is way too lyrical but shit was wild to read once again pen you merked this one haha this is showin what you really capable of doin

[`rino]

Bump bump.. I jus' added another verse to this ish.. Lemme know what y'all think!

[ShadowBoxing89]

Pen didn't know you had it in ya. you dudes need to get on the topical tip[ more often, yall emceeing skills sudmerged in battle coffins

[`rino]

^ My topical skills are weaaaakkk!

[ShadowBoxing89]

so you can't write shit this good whne theres a topicl involved..

[`rino]

^ Dunno.. Maybe, maybe not.. Never really tried.

[ShadowBoxing89]

wanna collab
was going to collab with j, but you all know what happen

status
lyric status rap about yo skills self hype

[O-ficial]

NICE
THE SECOND VERSE IS PRETTY GOOD
SOME LINES WERE OFF BECAUSE OF CLUTTERED SYLLABLES
BUT THAT DIDN'T HURT IT TOO MUCH.
LIKE A DOPE DAYDREAM...BOUT TO GO BLAZE...HOLLABACK!