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nice shit man
how long u been writing?
One time too many
I spit saliva like a Llama, Dali Lama can't break my armour
I will harm ya with a pitch fork, don't mean that I'm a farmer
It's time to rhyme 'n grind, sending signs 'cos I'm a charmer
Bomb ya harbour, I'm gettin' faster and I will out last ya
I can rhyme 'til I die, my eye's like a sniper comin' at ya
I chatback 'n strap dat, ladies love me like I'm the matcher
Every time I say I it begins with I and ends in your death
Villians hate me 'cos I'm the guy making all the progress
I will leave you 12 foot deep, incase you try to do a Kill Bill
I thrill still 'n give you chill pills 'cos I'm a real deal, y'feel?
Fix my meal or get grilled and chopped to pieces by my drill
I hit the shit with my wit that's enough to make you feel ill
This is the slaughter of lyrics that'll get you down the copshop
I drop hotrocks on my Reeboks and realise that I got shot
By a potato gun, straight on my hot top, nah that's not rot
That's the image of ya girl just about to get cock rocked
its not a rumour blud!
nice shit man
how long u been writing?
It's a number game, but shit don't add up somehow
That shit was ill Penrino. I loved the multis, they were great. Nice quality verse there.
The shelter is closed.
Retired from battling.
Now killing cats in topical battles. If you want to get at me in a topical and show you are a better writer than me, you know where the callout thread is.
Topical record?
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{{ Λυρικός 'ιδιοτελής }}
Originally Posted by steel soldier
About 6 odd months, not long. Thanks for the feedback.
Cheers for the positive feedback, Titan. I still see need of polishment in my multi's though... Any critique you could offer for me to improve them??
its not a rumour blud!
My problem, as always is with your rhyme scheme. I didn't see as many forced and mixed rhymes as with most of your verses. But the real problem I have is that the verse doesn't have much of theme, and it isn't consistant with the title. It appears to be one big freestyle or battle rap. I think this is the difference between a song writer and a battler. A song writer can write about a topic, and generally make it longer and more structured, while a battler just throw shit in to make a witty punchlines. So I guess the other problem would be a lack of a theme.
Other than that, it was superior to most of your battle raps though. Your vocab is on point, and those multis were some of the best I've seen out of you. Your verse was really nice. I would just change the name, and try to get a theme of the verses your drop here on the emceeing board.
The shelter is closed.
Retired from battling.
Now killing cats in topical battles. If you want to get at me in a topical and show you are a better writer than me, you know where the callout thread is.
Topical record?
0-0
{{ Λυρικός 'ιδιοτελής }}
I can get the themes, I got some written up, but shit I post here is just a bit of rhyming, flow practice, really. None of my 'personal' best is posted on HHG just quick mock-ups I do on spot when I feel like improving my rhyme scheme. I suppose I could write a different 16 for an on-topic theme. But with that comes more thinking and I personally don't want my shit on the internet, uncopyrighted, either. I think Weeded had this problem aswell. It's a dodgy business posting your time and effort on the net for it to be blagged from beneath you. Thanks for the pointers though. Mucho gracias. I see where ya coming from.
its not a rumour blud!
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