The WWE Thread

[JustinCredible1]

Raw concluded with another home run, as flabby 57 year old Ric Flair and out-of-shape 52 year old Roddy Piper defeated Edge and Randy Orton. Don’t worry. See, it would be bad if Edge, the hottest act in WWE this year, were putting over old men with no physical credibility. But he wasn’t. No, he just lost a WWE match to them, and we all know that WWE match results are completely irrelevant. And so of course, WWE delivered on a stellar 100 percent bull**** evening, with every match concluding with some sort of nonsense to where nothing was accomplished. After a ref bump, DX ran in and gave Orton sweet chin music. They put Flair on top of Orton for the pin.

But this fine evening of entertainment would not be complete without the perfect capper for young men: fat male strippers. Yes, indeed. It doesn’t get any better than that. So DX brought out the fat male stripper, and they danced around. He took off his clothes and danced around in his thong, and DX shoved Bischoff’s head in the stripper’s ass. Therein answering one of life’s great questions: what could be better than fat male strippers? Why, men shoving other men’s heads into the asses of fat male strippers. Now that is entertainment. Don’t give me that athletic competition bull****. I want zany comedy with homosexual undertones.

Final Thoughts:

This show was an atrocious, indefensible mess. It’s like they are begging viewers to give up on the product forever. And it would almost be better if that were the goal, because at least then they wouldn’t be failing at absolutely everything they set out to do.

TNA TNA!!!!!!!

[Cowboy13012]

Raw was fucking terrible. No doubt about it. And the ref bump with flair was TERRIBLE. He was putting Edge, i think, in the figure 4 leglock and kept turning him in the ring till Flair was facing the ref.

It was baaaaaaaad.

[Cowboy13012]

From the PWInsider...

K-FED SAYS CENA CAN'T SEE HIM, BRITNEY SPEARS SAYS FEDERLINE CAN SEE DIVORCE PAPERS
by Mike Johnson @ 4:35:00 PM on 11/7/2006

CNN.com is reporting that pop star Brittney Spears has filed for divorce from husband Kevin Federline, who just last night on Monday Night Raw issued a challenge for a one on one match against WWE champion John Cena on the 1/1/07 edition of Raw in Miami, Florida.

As mentioned yesterday in the PWInsider.com Elite Hotline, a number of Hollywood gossip websites had reported Spears left Federline several days ago, taking their children to a local Los Angeles hotel. The reason? Federline allegedly flew into a rage and destroyed property after Spears laughed at a tape of his WWE appearances.

Federline made several recent WWE appearances, starting at a recent Los Angeles Raw taping where he was linked to Johnny Nitro and Melina, which ended with Cena hitting the F-U on Federline. WWE has heavily promoted Federline's CD, which was released on 10/31, in subsequent appearances, building to K-Fed's interference at Cyber Sunday causing Cena's loss to WWE World champion King Booker in the main event. In a pre-taped interview (as he was in Canada promoting his CD), Federline issued the challenge for a January match against Cena.

CNN reported that Spears filed for divorce today, citing, "irreconcilable differences" and asked for legal and physical custody of their two children. The pair married in 2004 after meeting while Federline performed as a backup dancer for Spears on tour. They were featured in a UPN reality series.

The divorce filing was the latest in a string of negative Federline news over the last week, including poor reviews for his debut CD, canceled concerts, and a near empty performance at New York City's Webster Hall which saw Federline come on stage several hours late, only to perform for 30 minutes.

Expect the story to get a ton of media attention in the coming days as just about every major media source issued breaking news bulletins about the divorce filing in the last hour.

HAHAHAH


Oh man! This shit is tooooooooooooooooo fuckin funny!

[BoNeS]

yuck i can't believe they had wrestlers sayin k-feds album is history in the making how much of brittneys money did he pay them??

[Cowboy13012]

yuck i can't believe they had wrestlers sayin k-feds album is history in the making how much of brittneys money did he pay them??

I don't know.

But i've seen the ratings Raw did when federline was on and they were high as fuck, but as soon as his segment ended, a SHITLOAD of people changed the channel.

[BIGGE0303]

i think the nigga gettin 30 mil

[Cowboy13012]

i think the nigga gettin 30 mil

Where the fuck you been??

[BIGGE0303]

ive been on but i havent posted tho in a while tix gon sale this saturday niggass!!!!

[Cowboy13012]

ive been on but i havent posted tho in a while tix gon sale this saturday niggass!!!!

They already went on sale dooooooooooooooooooogy.

They went on sale with a presale password a week ago.

[Rudini]

They already went on sale dooooooooooooooooooogy.

They went on sale with a presale password a week ago.

A presale password that i gave yall...if yall used it, please say yall hooked me up with the $30 ticket....its only $30

[Cowboy13012]

A presale password that i gave yall...if yall used it, please say yall hooked me up with the $30 ticket....its only $30

Shit.

I didn't even get myself tickets....


sorry man.

[EzMoney]

Professor Wrestling: Ripping WWE
Vince's Circus Reaches New Lows
By Professor Wrestling, The Grappling Scholar

POSTED: 12:32 am EST November 10, 2006


Listen up!

It's lecture time, and the subject is the current mess of a product called World Wrestling Entertainment.

I'll use a portion of Monday's "RAW" to make my overall point. It was at the very end, after Triple H and Shawn Michaels -- the newly-reformed Degeneration X -- interfered in the tag-team match featuring newly-crowned champions Ric Flair and Roddy Piper versus heels Edge and Randy Orton.


In an effort to humiliate the heel referee in that match -- Eric Bischoff -- DX brought out a fellow named Big Dick Johnson. Mr. Johnson, shall we say, is a bit tubby. That's not the problem. He's also a guy who stripped down to a g-string, with everything -- and I mean everything -- jiggling about. DX, as the script called for, forced Bischoff's nose in the man's rather large naked backside for the show's grand finale. It was a moment when even the staunchest supporters of sports entertainment had to shake their heads in utter embarrassment.

Now I can understand that it's pretty tough to write two hours of TV each week, but this was beyond terrible. Why is it so hard to put on a wrestling show, Mr. McMahon? Do you hate the industry so much that you pollute it with this type of garbage? How do you get away with marketing toys to kids and then expect them to watch this? I know you've been dodging this question for years, but it's time to ask it again. Why do you go for schlock when you really don't have to? Why do you lure kids into the circus tent promising them something fun and then turn around and give them trash? Better yet, how do you sleep at night?

I try to keep this column a light, fun Friday read. But some weeks it's really tough to do. This is one of those weeks.

A few months ago, I started to do a podcast (the latest episode is right here ) just for kicks. It features me, and two other gentlemen -- Dr. Mike Lano and George Schire. Both men are wrestling historians, and to be perfectly honest have forgotten more about the subject than I'll ever know. They're that good.

While Mr. Lano enjoys some of today's WWE product, Mr. Schire utterly detests it. He loves the wresters of yesteryear, however, and decided to give "RAW" another shot this past Monday because Flair and Piper were to be featured. After seeing the segment mentioned above, he sent me the following e-mail:

Professor:

After watching the disgusting DX episode with Bischoff on Monday night, I don't know why we or anyone should waste podcast time on WWE whatsoever! I watched it, and I swear, I was speechless. I can't believe that anybody that tunes in, can even jokingly try to say that WWE resembles something called wrestling. And, the more we talk about it, and give it coverage, we are just condoning McMahon to continue presenting this junk. It raises my blood pressure just thinking about it!

It galls me that people complain about the content of the programs, but yet they continue to tune in. Do they not realize that they can "choose" not to tune in? Wouldn't people not watching deliver a message? There is power in numbers! The more that don't watch, the sooner he is either off the air, or better still, out of business.

Do they not realize that each $40.00 they pluck down for McMahon's PPV's is only making him richer, and showing him that he can provide distasteful and disgusting programming?

I only tuned in because you mentioned that Flair and Piper got the straps. Seeing both of these once-great wrestlers was pathetic. McMahon is promoting nothing more than the dumbing of America.

One more thing. Do you realize that by doing an "anti- WWE" column, you are giving McMahon attention? Everyone should quit watching, ordering PPV's and quit discussing his product. We could run him out of business!

--George

I've known George for a few years. You won't meet a kinder, gentler soul. What he says above speaks volumes to me.

I'm not going to be a hypocrite and say I'll never watch WWE again. I will. I also know it's just a wrestling TV show, and I probably shouldn't go off on a tangent like this. But folks, there are alternatives out there: TNA, Ring Of Honor, your local independent circuit. It's time they got your attention, if they haven't already.

It's also time Mr. McMahon looked in the mirror and asked himself a simple question: "Why?"

[Da Joker]

yo I tried to (well actually it was my brother... LexxLuthor but still) tell yall dudes a loooooong time ago that TNA was the joint to watch. Way back when Big Poppa Pump and Sting's match was the main event on cable t.v.... not a ppv

[Cowboy13012]

yo I tried to (well actually it was my brother... LexxLuthor but still) tell yall dudes a loooooong time ago that TNA was the joint to watch. Way back when Big Poppa Pump and Sting's match was the main event on cable t.v.... not a ppv

Man.... TNA is also a giant piece of shit. Just shit of a different kind.

[Cowboy13012]

Wrestlemania 23 is already the all-time record holder for the largest gate in North American and WWE pro wrestling history. The company sold out it's first allotment of nearly 50,000 tickets on 11/11 even with no matches announced, hinted, or even planned out. The current advance is $4,350,000, which breaks the all-time record set of $3,846,033 set on March 17th 2002 for Wrestlemania X-8 headlined by Hulk Hogan vs The Rock. There will be about 28,000 more tickets put on sale at different intervals over the next several months, and are also likely to be sold quickly upon release. Ford Field is being set up for 78,000 fans, so this will be end up being one of the three biggest crowds in company history and five biggest crowds in what is at least verifiable pro wrestling history. Interestingly the current record is based on the exchange of the $6,143,822 Canadian drew for X8. With the current rate that would be $5,429,910 - a number that would challenge even the biggest Japanese gates of all time. The all-time pro wrestling gate record is just over $7,000,000 and was set by New Japan Pro Wrestling on the 4th of April 1998 for the retirement of Antonio Inoki, who beat Don Frye in the main event after Frye had won a tournament of 'shootfighters' earlier in the show to win the honor.

I wonder why it did so well.

[BIGGE0303]

^ cuz stone cold vs hogan and mcmahon vs hart

[Cowboy13012]

They haven't announced any matches or even hinted at any.

[BIGGE0303]

i kno but still

[Cowboy13012]

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow.


The Survivor Series was a GIANT yawn. Shit was MAD boring.


If you havent seen the results, they are...


Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Match
Team DX: Triple H, Shawn Michaels, CM Punk, WWE Intercontinental Champion Jeff Hardy, & Matt Hardy .VS. Team Rated RKO: World Tag Team Champions, Randy Orton & Edge (with Lita), Mike Knox (with Kelly Kelly), Johnny Nitro (with Melina), & WWE Cruiserweight Champion Gregory Helms.
Winners: Team DX.


Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Match
Team Cena: WWE Champion John Cena, Rob Van Dam, Sabu, Bobby Lashley, & Kane .VS. Team Big Show: ECW World Heavyweight Champion The Big Show, Umaga (with Armando Alejandro Estrada), Test, Fit Finlay, & Montel Vontavious Porter.
Winners: Team Cena.


World Heavyweight Title Match
King Booker (with Queen Sharmell) .VS. Batista.
Winner: Batista.


First Blood Match
Ken Kennedy .VS. Undertaker.
Winner: Ken Kennedy.


WWE United States Title Match
Chris Benoit .VS. Chavo Guerrero (with Vicky Guerrero).
Winner: Chris Benoit.


Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Match
Team Legends: Ric Flair, Ron Simmons, Sgt. Slaughter, & Dusty Rhodes (with Arn Anderson) .VS. Team Spirit Squad: Kenny Doane, Johnny Jeter, Mikey Mondo, & Nicky Nemeth, (with Nick Mitchell).
Winners: Team Legends.


WWE Women's Title, "Lita's Retirement Match"
Lita .VS. Mickie James.
Winner: Mickie James.

[Cowboy13012]

The ECW PPV was fucking boring as hell.


Oh ya. And it ended 45 minutes early.

Also, it would have ended earlier, but they had a SHITLOAD of Raw, Smackdown, and upcoming PPV commercials. And they even stuffed more filler in besides the commercials.